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#101 | |||
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Special Jonin Candidate
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C3.
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C4. Quote:
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??? Not sure, though, I think that's either a spelling mistake or another word that's suppose to be there instead. I read them both, surprised? Considering I dislike Text Walls seriously, lol. Though any way, I like where it's heading the action has already been introduced, so you can get the feeling of what the fights are going to be like further into the story.
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#102 |
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That Sexy Koala
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Where you live. Obviously.
Posts: 13,438
Rep Power: 25 ![]() ![]() ![]() |
TRS-chan is awesome correcting all typo's and stuff.
Hopefully you can do that to my story too Well, once I got the first chapter up.
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#103 |
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Jonin Leader
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epic chapter rasen ^^
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#104 |
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Special Jonin Candidate
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Whatever you say, lol. I feel bad half the time, pointing out typos, I try to avoid it, though, with Text Walls, I understand that you always miss things, lol.
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#105 |
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That Sexy Koala
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Where you live. Obviously.
Posts: 13,438
Rep Power: 25 ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Yeah true ... :P
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#106 |
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Special Jonin Candidate
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Yeah, well I really don't like reading Text Walls, lol, I am scare of them, lol, though am trying to read these ones through, even though, it's hard to do, just because I tend to wander in just the first paragraph, lol.
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#107 |
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That Sexy Koala
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Where you live. Obviously.
Posts: 13,438
Rep Power: 25 ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Yeah me too. Depending on the subject. If I like it I'll read the rest!
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#108 |
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The Smiling Assassin
Konoha Historian Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,356
Rep Power: 16 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
New chapter will be up soon
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#109 |
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Chunin Exam Participant
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Narnia(Ikea Cupboard)
Posts: 576
Rep Power: 6 ![]() |
Yay! *Waits anxiously*
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Gamertag:SlimySmiley Add me if u want ^_^
Sub-Leader of the Hidden Leaf Ninja ^__^ I main Shino he's INVINCIBLE....and silent Naruto and Sakura - "YOU'RE LATE!!" Kakashi - "Sorry a black cat crossed my path so I had to take the long way" lol Naruto and Sakura - "YOUR LATE!!!" Kakashi - "Sorry I got lost on the path of life" Kakashi=Chuck Norris To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
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#110 |
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Jacqass
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: i want to be pregnat with ur gardenign seed pink ninja amke me a flower
Posts: 11,829
Rep Power: 20 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Love the story so far.
/thumbs up
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#111 |
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The Smiling Assassin
Konoha Historian Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,356
Rep Power: 16 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
I haven't finished the next chapter yet, but I'll put part of it up, coz I'm a tease like that xD
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#112 |
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The Smiling Assassin
Konoha Historian Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,356
Rep Power: 16 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Chapter Five - Power
Darkness.... Rasen limps endlessly through plain of darkness. Pain lances through his body. He sees the dragon, the same one as earlier, it roars at him, but he can't hear anything. Then, once again the voice comes in his head "I'll choose you!" it booms. Rasen sees his body covered in what appears like dark red flames, warmth and strength pour into him, the pain slowly fades. Everything goes black again, then a shadowy figure appears, surrounded in grey, Rasen cannot make out his face. "It is the power given to you." Says the figure "The dragons power, you are the chosen...of the destroyer of one thousand years! Now....find your fate...before it finds you...what you do will change everything..." The figure fades away and Rasen awoke. Rasen jolts upright, he was lying in a crater looking up into an infinitely large hole above him, he was astonded to discover he had no injuries. "What...?" Rasen looks over at the tank that is lying on its side, the hatch blasted open by the fall, whatever was inside was gone now. "I wonder how far I fell?" Rasen wonders to himself "I'm alive? I made it?...or did I?" Rasen decides that it doesn't matter and sets off towards a door set in the wall. He then realizes that he is in one of the old waste districts, so he could at least get back to base by working his way back up through the district and through the system of old corridors that connected it to the rest of Chikayo. Deciding that it was pointless to wait Rasen opened the door and walked through it. Rasen continued into a large room, it stank of trash and dust. As Rasen entered the room further, he heard noises. He turned, it was the cyclops kaijuu from earlier, and in one of its' arms, was a small girl. She was thin and whispy, however the strange thing about her was two red wings, protruding from her back. Rasen watched as she struggled silently against the cyclops' strength as it started towards the door leading up to the next floor of the waste district. A great sadness creeped through Rasen, he closed his eyes for a moment. He suddenly felt an uncontrollable anger begin coursing through him, his eyes flew open, his irises had turned blood red, hate filled them. A buzzing red aura covered his body, he felt massive amounts of power coursing through his body. Rasen rushed forward recklessly, and drawing his blade, he leaped up behind the cyclops and plunged the sword through its' back, all the way through to the other side. Blood splattered everywhere and the cyclops roared in pain and began trying to throw Rasen off. Suddenly, Rasens' blade came free, and he was thrown back into a pile of trash, he stared hatefully at the cyclops, his red eyes filled with bloodlust. Rasen dashed out and around the cyclops, the power running through his body allowing him to run much faster than normal, he swung his blade at the wrist of the cyclops, the hand that was holding the girl, removing it and Rasen grabbed the girl and got a safe distance from the cyclops. Rasen rested her on her back, she seemed to have fainted. Hearing heavy footsteps behind him, Rasen turned and faced the cyclops again. It lunged forward, fury in its' one eye, Rasen stabbed it through the eye, causing it to make a choking noise before it fell to the ground, convulsing and bucking wildly. After a few seconds, it stilled and was silent. Rasen felt the anger and power fade, his eyes returned to normal and the aura disappeared. "W-what was that?" He wondered, thinking of the great power that had just taken over his body. He turned again and knelt by the unconcious girl, he lifts her into a sitting position and gently shakes her. "C'mon, wake up..." He whispers. Her eyes twitch, then they fly open, filled with fear, she makes a frightened noise and looks around frantically. Rasen quickly tries to calm her down, holding her close until she stopped trembling. "It's ok, I got him....can you stand?" Rasen asked The girl nods and stands slowly, Rasen also straightened up, wondering why she had wings, also why the cyclops tried to take her. "I'm Rasen, what's your name?" The girl opened her mouth and slowly and with extreme difficulty, said "H...Hi...ka...ri" Rasen was surprised at the difficulty it took her to talk. "Your voice...you can't speak?" Hikari nodded and Rasen closed his eyes again, thinking. "Why can't she speak? What happened to this girl?" He opened his eyes again. "Anyway, we have to get out of here Hikari." Rasen said as he began walking towards a door. He turned when he realized she wasn't following him. Rasen held out his hand. "Here...lets go." Hikari slowly walked over to Rasen, there was trust in her eyes now and she took his hand and they continued the accent back to the Chikayo ranger headquarters. Last edited by Rasen_Chidori; 12-20-2010 at 10:32 AM. |
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#113 |
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Jonin Leader
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why you gotta tease? huh? huh?
nice piece of work man!!
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#114 |
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The Smiling Assassin
Konoha Historian Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,356
Rep Power: 16 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Full chapter is up
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#115 |
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Special Jonin Candidate
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^.^ likes it
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I'm so curious, YEAH To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. fantastic bby To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
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#116 |
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The Smiling Assassin
Konoha Historian Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,356
Rep Power: 16 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Thanks ^_^
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#117 |
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Jonin Leader
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aww my baby gir <3
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#118 | |
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Special Jonin Candidate
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Quote:
It's good and getting interesting, the story is progressing nicely, though, I have noticed, not all that much is said about the Characters as they enter into the Story, only a few things said about each of them, like there is unknowingness of the Characters there still, though, that might change later, I suppose, that's just my opinion at the moment.
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#119 |
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Special Jonin Candidate
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. O.o .
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I'm so curious, YEAH To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. fantastic bby To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. |
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#120 |
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The Smiling Assassin
Konoha Historian Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,356
Rep Power: 16 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
There is abit of character development later on, there is supposed to be a fair amount of mystery at the moment
Thanks for the typo point out |
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