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Old 08-07-2010, 04:20 PM   #41
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Default Re: Izumi

/stalks thread
I think someones gonna kiss!
Moutaintops+nymps+rocks+Kiri+Izumi=LOOOVVVEEE!


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Old 08-08-2010, 01:58 AM   #42
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Default Re: Izumi

Hahaa XD
I lol'ed at nymps+rocks
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Old 08-08-2010, 02:22 AM   #43
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Default Re: Izumi

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiseki View Post
Look at the edit XDD
You could've do it as:
Quote:
A spoiler that will change the whole life of the characters. Must see!
Spoiler:
You've been rickroll'd.
Old is gold. :F

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Originally Posted by gama-sennin View Post
What the french toast is french toast? lol
/facepalm.
I was supposed to do fail jokes.
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Old 08-08-2010, 02:57 PM   #44
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Default Re: Izumi

Whaha like they do at the member picture thread?

Gee, I won't be writing till wedneday, sorry guys! D:
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Old 08-08-2010, 03:31 PM   #45
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Default Re: Izumi

Nice story.
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Old 08-09-2010, 03:29 PM   #46
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Default Re: Izumi

Thanks! Is there anything you like, or dislike?
Could be the characters or the way of writing...
Just let me know if you have some questions.
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Old 08-12-2010, 07:00 AM   #47
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Default Re: Izumi

The walk pt. 4

Katzuyuki layed his hands on her and pushed them aside gently while he looked down at the ground with a serious expression on his face. "Don't get dragged along so quickly..." he said while he slowly turned around and he looked into her eyes without any emotion. Izumi was a bit shocked and took a step back, but Katzuyuki stopped her by putting his hand on her arm and he held it tightly. "If you give in to your emotions that easily then it's no use showing up in the trainingcamp tomorrow" he said and his words kept on repeating in Izumi's mind. "Let go of me..." she said harsh and pulled back her arm which he was still holding tightly. "It hurts..." she said, but he interrupted her right away this time "Alot of things hurt in life, don't worry about it too much" he said when I let go of her arm. "Othewise you become just like your brother... obsessive. Izumi, just don't do it!"

"You have no idea what's on my mind right now, you've got too many illusions" she said while stared deeply into his eyes. "Why did you became this why?" she said almost soundless and a tear started to roll over her cheek so she turned around quickly and walked a few steps ahead. "The first time I saw you I was very impressed by you and the only thing that remains when I think if you is confusion, because of your everchanging words. I thought about you when you started your mission along with Hiro, I couldn't sleep for nights... And this is how you thank me?"

"Izumi-chan..." he said and interrupted her for a moment. "No, I have decided not to think about anybody anymore, no to care about anybody anymore. Because I never wanna feel this again, the betrayal. This is the last day that I've shed a tear, you hear me!" she said and without even looking at him she started running downhill on the path they had been walking on through the forest. Hasty she whiped away the tear and meanwhile was trying to whipe out the rest she felt inside. She just couldn't understand this and she was shaking from anger and kicked a rock out of frustration. Later on when she was near the the border of the forest she hit a tree with her bare fist. Izumi felt the pain later on when she cooled down and went inside again, to her own room.

She heard footsteps moving outside and all color in her face dissapeared when she saw her brother talking to a girl his age when she opened her door a few centimeters. "Ayame...?" she asked carefully. Ayame walked smiling towards her. "Izumi-chan, I know it's late, but I wanted to wish you good luck with your first training tomorrow! And... I was hoping that Katzuyuki would be here too. He wanted to share some tips with you so you would have advantage on the others tomorrow." Izumi couldn't not believe this just had been said. Was this real? "Izumi, aren't you thanking her?" said Hiro on a harsh tone. Izumi corrected herself and thanked Ayame quickly, who was already on her way to the portal of the yard along with her brother. She waved at Ayame with a smile, which was everything but real.

SPOILER FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER
Spoiler:
Chapter 2: Team Ohishi

Will Izumi get along with her brandnew teammates?
Will she be teamed up with her best friend Natsuko?
In the next chapter Izumi will have a hard time getting along
with one of the other members of her team!
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Old 08-12-2010, 03:15 PM   #48
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Default Re: Izumi

I like it. Very well written, and I've only read the first chapter. >.>
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Old 08-13-2010, 06:53 AM   #49
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Default Re: Izumi

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiseki View Post
The walk pt. 4

Katzuyuki layed his hands on her and pushed them aside gently while he looked down at the ground with a serious expression on his face. "Don't get dragged along so quickly..." he said while he slowly turned around and he looked into her eyes without any emotion.
Gama: I mean this part....Just a couple of lines more.......

Sennin: Nah, dont listen to him he is just a huge pervert, the chapter is really great.....
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Old 08-13-2010, 07:27 AM   #50
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Default Re: Izumi

Quote:
Originally Posted by Danielle View Post
I like it. Very well written, and I've only read the first chapter. >.>
Thank you :3
What did you like the most? And what part sucked?
Just let me know honestly. I need feedback

Quote:
Originally Posted by gama-sennin View Post
Gama: I mean this part....Just a couple of lines more.......

Sennin: Nah, dont listen to him he is just a huge pervert, the chapter is really great.....
Owhhh hahaa... yeah. Much tension already huh? Or is it too much?
I definitely will be using scenes like this again, haha.
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Old 08-13-2010, 08:02 AM   #51
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Talking Re: Izumi

WOW!!!! great story and also you did not missed any grammar rule did you (

but one thing more is that I cant wait to hear Izumi talk!

anyways it is great congrats!!!
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Old 08-13-2010, 08:39 AM   #52
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Default Re: Izumi

I have to say its a great story i cant wait for more!!
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Old 08-13-2010, 09:25 AM   #53
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Default Re: Izumi

The drawing of Izumi is awesome!

I'm going to read the chapter 4 now! ^_^
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Old 08-13-2010, 09:34 AM   #54
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Default Re: Izumi

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kakashi's Girl View Post
The drawing of Izumi is awesome!

I'm going to read the chapter 4 now! ^_^
Awee thanks sooo much!! :3
Im really bad at making drawings hehe.
Still have to do all the colors etc.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Narutofan6 View Post
WOW!!!! great story and also you did not missed any grammar rule did you (

but one thing more is that I cant wait to hear Izumi talk!

anyways it is great congrats!!!
I hope I had no grammar errors... English isnt my original language
This was all writting originally in Dutch, hehe :3
Im glad you liking it so far, I hope the next chapter will be good too!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Emiri View Post
I have to say its a great story i cant wait for more!!
Emiri-channnn thanksss
Im working on the next chapter now, hehe.
All sorts of idea's pop onto my mind right now, haha =D
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Old 08-13-2010, 09:44 AM   #55
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Default Re: Izumi

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiseki View Post
Awee thanks sooo much!! :3
Im really bad at making drawings hehe.
Still have to do all the colors etc.
But that one is awesome, sweetie! ;D

I just read the new chapter and I loved it!
The conversation between Izumi and Katzuyuki was amazing. ^^
But now I can't wait for the next one! xD
Who will Izumi be teamed up with? o_O
Ah this is exciting!!! XDD

You're a great writer, Kiseki dear!
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Old 08-13-2010, 09:47 AM   #56
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Default Re: Izumi

Emiri-channnn thanksss
Im working on the next chapter now, hehe.
All sorts of idea's pop onto my mind right now, haha =D[/QUOTE]
your welcome
yay i cant wait im so exicited
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Old 08-13-2010, 10:41 AM   #57
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Default Re: Izumi

thumbs up
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Old 08-13-2010, 01:28 PM   #58
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Default Re: Izumi

nice.
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Old 08-13-2010, 01:32 PM   #59
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Default Re: Izumi

Team Ohishi!

That night seemed like it lasted for ages and Izumi could barely sleep because of what happend that evening during the walk in the forest. It wasn't even her plan on going there in the first place, she was dissapointed. She wanted to meet her best friend Natsuko and her older sister for a walk to the river to celebrate the last evening of freedom with them. Yui, the older sister of Natsuko, was teamed up with her older brother Hiro and she could have told them everything about the first day in the training camp. Izumi was hoping her friend wasn't still outside, looking around and being extremely worried about her. She closed her eyes and was hoping she could fall asleep meanwhile, but unfortunately it didn't work. Katzuyuki's expression from before couldn't leave her thoughts, how he looked at her, so many words, but an emty look.

Izumi felt slowly comming up the feeling of extreme hunger when she opened her eyes again and she noticed the sun was rising, by a tiny flash of orange light entering her room. Hasty she stood up, got dressed and gathered all her belongings she needed for the first training. She used the few last seconds to look at herself in the huge, tall mirror that was placed in the corner of her room. She tried to look confident to herself, but all she saw was an insecure girl who had actually no idea what was about to happen. What would Hiro had been thinking at this moment? Would he also had this strange feeling?

Actually she wanted to visit his room, but decided to go to the kitchen to have breakfast with her mother. Izumi's mother was always up this early, busy with cooking things like noodles and sometimes she made delicious soups, very often with nice vegetables. Izumi could always enjoy it and everytime when her mother saw that she enjoyed her food there would appear a smile on her face. "Thanks for the food" said Izumi to her mother when she started eating her noodle soup. She ate it as fast as she could, took all her belongings with her and waved at her mom when she ran into the yard. She was ready!

In a rush she was running towards the camp, but right after running towards the camp portal the unexpected happened. Accidentally with extreme speed she bumped into a guy her age and with a loud sound they both fall onto the ground. Izumi refused to make any sound or to yell something because she had no idea who he was and she didn't wanted to ruin her first impression here. The guy wiped off the dust from his clothing while he stood up and it seemed like he was pretending there was nothing wrong. His face was clearly tensed, just like hers. Izumi remained sitting on the ground and bowed to him like she was saying she wanted to apologize. "I'm sorry..."

"Mitsuya Ohishi, nice to meet you" he said on a calm tone, as if it would look like he wanted to comfort her. Izumi stood up again, whiped off the dust, but kept her eyes down looking to the ground. "And you are?" he asked her. "My name is Izumi, I'm sorry about your clothing... I could" but he interrupted her "Nevermind, but watch out next time. Hopefully you're lack of concentration doesn't get always in the way". Suddenly she looked up and her eyes were aiming straight towards his and now she finally realized who he really was. This was she son of the Ohishi family? He looked so much like his father who was actually friend with her own father. She was a bit suspicious about the fact that she and Mitsuya were never introduced to eachother, but she was actually very happy they didn't. Because of his arrogance she would never wanted to hang out with him.
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Last edited by Kiseki; 08-13-2010 at 01:34 PM.
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Old 08-13-2010, 03:08 PM   #60
Emiri
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Default Re: Izumi

love it <3
its such a great story!!
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