Missing Souls

yondaime khonai · 05-02-2010, 03:57 PM

heres a story i wrote in 5th grade.my college liked it so im putting it on the forums.

chapter 1:

Spoiler:

katsu uchiha · 05-02-2010, 08:01 PM

very interesting, sounds a lot like my story

yondaime khonai · 05-02-2010, 08:11 PM

yea...i stopped in the middle of the story in middle school because it started to sound like a rip off version of kingdom hearts/assassin's creed

Azal · 05-02-2010, 08:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yondaime khonai

heres a story i wrote in 5th grade.my college liked it so im putting it on the forums.

chapter 1:

Spoiler:

''Gonna be late! Gonna be late!''a teenager said to himself as he ran down the streets of a small town.This young boy's name was Jake Khonai.if you really got to know him,you'd know he wasnt the heroic type,nor has he ever wanted to be.I mean,a lazy,quiet,level-headed kid that had a short attention span at school,with an over-active imagination,but was in the highest classes at school wasnt really that heroic.No,besides the fact that he was a geek,he was well respected and liked at school.But he hated attention,so he thought the only way to get away from it all was to go to the park or log on to a computer where his imagination could roam free.In fact,he wished he could do that now,but,he had to go to school today.today was the state test that would determine if he passed high school or not.he hadnt payed attention at all to his teacher about this test,but he was sure the question were going to be easyand that he'd pass.''oh yay,school starts in 3 minutes and i have 7 miles before i get there,''Jake said sacasticly.''I am soo not getting there on time.'' Jake ran a few more miles, but by the time he'd been half-way to his school,the bell had rung.Jake decided if he showed up he'd just get yelled at and have to say after school for detention,so he just headed back to his house instead.he was going to have to take the test later.
When Jake got back to his house,all he could think about was sleep.when he leaped into his bed,he instantly fell asleep.but as he started to fall asleep,he heard a faint wisper.the wisper frightened him and he fell out of his bed.there was someone in his room.When Jake looked up to see who it was,he saw a man in a cloak.''we've been looking for you,'' the man said.''and now,it time to meet your destiny,'' with those words,everything Jake saw got blurry,then everything faded.Jake was in pitch black,with a man he didnt know.''Great,''Jake thought to himself.''ive gone completely crazy.''
''no,not completely,just a bit,anyways,im kaito,your teamate in team 17 of the spirit organization,''the man said.
jake,completely confuesed said,''you can hear my thoughts?!''
''yep.pretty much''
''how'd i sign up for this again?''
''you've got part of a lost soul,you don't belong in this world,''
''any homework or school?''
''whats that?''
''count me in!''
''youll still be on this planet for a week,after that,your comming with me.'' and with that,the man named kaito disappeared and everything else reappeared.Jake was in his bed,like nothing had happened.

easy to tell a 5th grader wrote this

Naruke Uchiaki · 09-05-2010, 09:05 PM

hahahaha COOKIES!!!

Kiseki · 09-06-2010, 01:19 AM

Are you serious?

No offence, but if you're trolling, go to offtopic.

Jonesy · 09-06-2010, 01:46 AM

This fails, hard.

Nice try though.

05-02-2010, 03:57 PM	#1
yondaime khonai Special Jonin Candidate Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Earth Posts: 3,253 Rep Power: 7	Missing Souls heres a story i wrote in 5th grade.my college liked it so im putting it on the forums. chapter 1: Spoiler: cookies! i like cokies! YUUM! cookies,i like cookies! YUUM! without my cookie my soul is lost __________________ / \_____/ \ === === THE COOKIE KYUUBI ''I find myself thinking...Perhaps we were born knowing everything, but are only allowed to live after having had that knowledge sealed away.'' Sephiroth ''Teachings that do not speak of pain have no meaning...because human kind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return.'' FMA ''We all turn to the darkness eventually, it's if we stay or not that matters.'' Last edited by yondaime khonai; 05-03-2010 at 04:28 PM.

05-02-2010, 08:01 PM	#2
katsu uchiha Jonin Leader Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Having the best time of my life Posts: 21,368 Rep Power: 13 Member's Picture Albums	Re: the chosen one very interesting, sounds a lot like my story __________________ ♡put this on your siggy if you love Taker . *best dad ever.Taker* Spoiler: *father: Taker* *twinnie sis: kakashi uzumaki* *cousin: george hyuga* *Buddies: Taker, Shoukry, Xibitz360, UchihaHatakeIsabella, Kakashi Hatake_Daphne Lu, zestu, Sephiroth, azal,* I'm a Christian and don't care what everyone else thinks about me. If you feel the same, copy and paste this in your sig

05-02-2010, 08:11 PM	#3
yondaime khonai Special Jonin Candidate Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Earth Posts: 3,253 Rep Power: 7	Re: the chosen one yea...i stopped in the middle of the story in middle school because it started to sound like a rip off version of kingdom hearts/assassin's creed __________________ / \_____/ \ === === THE COOKIE KYUUBI ''I find myself thinking...Perhaps we were born knowing everything, but are only allowed to live after having had that knowledge sealed away.'' Sephiroth ''Teachings that do not speak of pain have no meaning...because human kind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return.'' FMA ''We all turn to the darkness eventually, it's if we stay or not that matters.''

09-05-2010, 09:05 PM	#5
Naruke Uchiaki Chunin Exam Proctor Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Flying into the Hearts of Millions :) Posts: 1,567 Rep Power: 0	Re: Missing Souls hahahaha COOKIES!!! __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Current Black Belt in Taekwondo Spoiler: I Want To Know, Are You Insane Enough To Take The Challenge? Spoiler: To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. "People who break the rules are scum, but those who abandon their friends are worse than scum." ~ Kakashi Spoiler: Proud Member of The Village Hidden In The Ocean To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

09-06-2010, 01:19 AM	#6
Kiseki That Sexy Koala Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Where you live. Obviously. Posts: 13,438 Rep Power: 25 Member's Picture Albums	Re: Missing Souls Are you serious? No offence, but if you're trolling, go to offtopic. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Luna Pink Hikari & Kiseki are the sexy Quad-force <3

09-06-2010, 01:46 AM	#7
Jonesy likes to post-it post-it Konoha Military Force Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 36,010 Rep Power: 23	Re: Missing Souls This fails, hard. Nice try though.

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