Assumptions based on Looks

[Sabra Kusabana]

I'm talking about a form of stereotyping here that appearently many people do without realizing it. This is assuming certain features based on someone's personality. After having recently been called a MILF and having to have what that ment explained to me I've started to question just what messages certian appearences are sending to people.

Examples include things like the innocent look, you know those people who are just so adorable in appearence you almost immediately want to trust them. The Bi*** look, that chick you know you don't want to get on the bad side of because she looks like she could be very vendictive. The Mom look, the person you assume to be sweet and caring that wants to bake you cookies. The Jock look, where you just know that person play sports.

You get the idea. What creates these looks and stereotypes in our minds, and more improtantly how do you get rid of one if you happen to fall into it? Yes this is a personal quest to rid myself of the Mom look...

[Tamoor Uchiha]

ummmmmmm... i don't uhhhh know?

[Tamoor Uchiha]

Try to update what you wear. (I'm a boy so I am not sure, SORRY)

[Timoto]

No matter what happens, what you wear, how you say the things you think, people are always going to sterotype eachother. no more no less. if you KNOW someone you can probably tell them who you are (or you think you are) and ask them to be more respective to you. but we all know bob marley's "Judge not" song hasn't hit everyone's stereo in the last 5 days like it does mine everyone is going to get judged. i try not to judge poeple but its human nature to size someone up when they approach you or you see them. thats how you screen for 'friends' and 'dates' and 'oh man, that person looks like he has a gun and wants to kill me and take my new cadillac ' ... but its never right to say you think that person is 'this' without talking and getting to know them. i'm sure you could say 'that person looks like they are this way' if your talking to your friends... just try to be respectful and realize your on the other end of the situation EVERYDAY of your life (even if you don't think so)

[Shkin]

i actually lol'd at the last part of the first post. but yeah, people get treated differently by their looks alone...first impressions they say are kinda important. gets you the attention or not. attention you need or do not want.
i say its how most people see others these days. so you have to have the look for whatever you want to do or prove. but this will only last the first meetings/acquaintances. as they say, looks can be deceiving. later one's trueself will come out. most of the time people are not really who you think they are.
as to being stereotyped because of your physical appearance...can't really help that. to change your look, i think you need to change your wardrobe first. but most importantly clothes should come with an attitude to complete the wanted look.
but i think being yourself is still the best look one can have. to h*ll with what others think. unless your job is on the line of course. i think. LOL!

[TheViolletteHeart]

I try not to judge people on appearances. As far as clothes go, I only assume things about them if they're wearing a t-shirt for a specific band, TV show, sports team, etc.

If they're wearing a Saints t-shirt, I can assume that they are a Saints fan, or that someone in their family is. If they are wearing a Fruits Basket shirt (which is actually something one of my friends wore when I first talked to them) I can assume they are a Fruits Basket fan. Stuff like that.

[3lilpandas]

A teacher of mine used to always say "First impression, lasting impression." It can be hard not to judge someone, but it happens. For the most part, dress how you want to dress. Now, there may be a few exceptions to this (such as work or school clothes). But, no matter what people will make assumptions based on your appearance.

[ihazcetsup]

I'm afraid, Sabra that it doesn't go so shallow as a "look". Everyone judges by appearance, even those that try not too. The "look" is usually made up of what you wear and how you wear it, what your state of cleanliness is, how you carry yourself, is there a disfigurement, your facial expression, apparent racial/ethnic group, skin tone, level of visible energy, the company you are in, if any, and how you are reacting to the person doing the observation or the people around you if you are not yet aware of being observed.

In order to get away from the milf look, you'd have to change your entire demeanor and then alter your behavior to suite whatever stereotype you want. In the end it would probably not be worth your time as you would find you are now being stereotyped as something else other than what you would prefer. By the way, the definition of milf that I am using can be found here. http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/MILF

If you are going off another definition I would probably understand better why the stereotype bothers you. But trying to change the type you get slotted into usually means changing yourself beyond the point you would probably be comfortable with.

[Kuroda Taishi]

Originally Posted by Sabra Kusabana

and more improtantly how do you get rid of one if you happen to fall into it? Yes this is a personal quest to rid myself of the Mom look...

I suggest you stop dressing like a mom, xD

[Rotate]

look means everything today. And a first impression usually lasts a lifetime. So have fun trying to escape the MILF look.

[Sabra Kusabana]

Originally Posted by ihazcetsup

I'm afraid, Sabra that it doesn't go so shallow as a "look". Everyone judges by appearance, even those that try not too. The "look" is usually made up of what you wear and how you wear it, what your state of cleanliness is, how you carry yourself, is there a disfigurement, your facial expression, apparent racial/ethnic group, skin tone, level of visible energy, the company you are in, if any, and how you are reacting to the person doing the observation or the people around you if you are not yet aware of being observed.

In order to get away from the milf look, you'd have to change your entire demeanor and then alter your behavior to suite whatever stereotype you want. In the end it would probably not be worth your time as you would find you are now being stereotyped as something else other than what you would prefer. By the way, the definition of milf that I am using can be found here. http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/MILF

If you are going off another definition I would probably understand better why the stereotype bothers you. But trying to change the type you get slotted into usually means changing yourself beyond the point you would probably be comfortable with.

As long as you've known me you should know why it bothers me...

Well you've had the most elaborate answer thus far, really not what I expected considering how little you care for such appearences.

You're right in that it steps beyond just the cloths, everything natural or unnatural about your appearence goes into it. You're also right that changing that appearent impression can be far more trouble then it's worth, but there's a question to when it's worth that change.

The assumptions will be made no matter how much someone tries to avoid them, but what makes certain ones what they are is part of what I'm getting at. How do you classify certain looks, perhaps it's cause I've not been in many social groups, but certain looks don't even occur to me.

I don't understand some of them, or how you would seperate them from one another. Lack of popularity and social contact coming back to show what I missed, I guess, but I'm lost as to what makes some common looks what they are. Classing people certain ways because of what you see on the surface happens, but why do we label them as we do? What makes these stereotypes what they are? I'm sure movies have alot to do with it, but that can't be all there is to it.

Where do such assumptions come from?

[Amai Shikome]

Originally Posted by Kuroda Taishi

I suggest you stop dressing like a mom, xD

And tell me. How does a mom dress?

[Kuroda Taishi]

Originally Posted by Kakashi4ever

And tell me. How does a mom dress?

......mom jeans

[Amai Shikome]

Originally Posted by Kuroda Taishi

......mom jeans

Define: mom jeans

[Kuroda Taishi]

Originally Posted by Kakashi4ever

Define: mom jeans

[Amai Shikome]

Originally Posted by Kuroda Taishi

That's funny! But even mom jeans come off!

[Hakami]

First of all, the only stereotype you were given was that you are a mother. The fact that this bothers you is actually a problem with your own stereotypes of what a mother is/should be/looks like. Clearly the person calling you that had no problem with it (judging by the acronym's last three letters). You might believe that everyone shares your thoughts on what it means to look like a mom, but I assure you they do not.

Secondly, Stereotypes are a product of our environment. Everyone learns to judge certain things about people based on their appearance or random knowledge of them, and this is actually a good thing; an evolutionary adaptation allowing us insight into people without actually getting that information spoon fed to us. An example of this would be looking at someone with a lot of lines on the outside of their eyes and realizing that they probably enjoy humor a lot, or are very friendly (hence the name "laugh lines" is the layman's term for them). You could also notice that someone who clenches their jaw all the time is probably highly strung or prone to stress, and there are a thousand different things a person avoiding eye contact could suggest (none of them being confidence). Stereotypes are simply when such judgements cross a line (which is not a very bold line; almost everyone who says a blatant stereotype will deny that they are doing such). They are usually considered morally wrong by society, but not always (see: the state of Germany during the Holocaust).
While these judgments are usually not received well (either the receiver doesn't want to be "tossed in" with group X, or they resent being such an easy read), they are often very useful tools for the person making them.
The ability to make split second snap judgments about a person is a very important trait for humans to have, and helps us in innumerable ways; it is only when these judgments are incorrect (racism, yada yada yada) or offensive that they need to be corrected. Basically, not all stereotypes are bad (though many are oversimplified), and at the same time different people use/view them in different ways. You may have been focused on all the negative mom stereotypes your mind has collected over the years, but clearly the person calling you this was only focused on the stereotype of being sexually experienced.
Also, if this was some teenager, I'd say he probably just called you a MILF because you were older (or had kids with you?), and the only thing he actually judged from your modifiable appearance is that you were very attractive. I'd say it's not something you should worry about if he was a stranger, but it really isn't my decision to make.

[TheBlackChidori]

I hope to grow up and be a milf.

[Rotate]

Originally Posted by TheBlackChidori

I hope to grow up and be a milf.

Aren't you a guy though????? *speechless*

[Amai Shikome]

Originally Posted by TheBlackChidori

I hope to grow up and be a milf.

Um...Ok..LOL..

I won't put that random though I just had.