the ninja lost in the darkness - Page 2

Sephiroth · 08-21-2009, 11:27 PM

part 4

..As me and riku ws walking down the path...i kept haveing flash back to what has hppened to me and my family and why i kill the way i do...As i wasnt paying attention riku kept talking about some hot spring in this next village..While on the path we noticed some blood and a trail .It looked like a trail from where a body was drug..Hmm what was going on here.We deiced to follow the trail to an area tht was heavly protected.As i sit there in the tree watching trying to device plan Riku jumped down in the middle of them.She said hey boys what cha doing.I stood there wtching as she fought the group of enemy ninja they wasnt very good i could tell.She fought and defeated them all.I noticed a larger man appear off in the distance walking towards riku.I seen her turn around and activte her kg.I knew this was going to be a fight for her.I watched as they fought the enemy seemed not to be even trying as i watched he quickly deafeated her in 5 hits.I didnt know what to do to fight or to regroup with my self.I activate my kg and jumped down before any more damage could be done.He looked at me and had an evil grin.I pulled out my sythe and strte at him with my eyes.As i get ready for him i knew this wsnt going to be easy.

Cade · 08-21-2009, 11:33 PM

Also try to be a little bit more specifc in the battles,and do a little bit better in spelling too.

Sephiroth · 09-02-2009, 12:13 PM

part 5.....this will be the end of this story if no one reads or post
This man i was about to take on.I didnt know how to break him down or what he had in store for me.I just looked at him trying to figure out how to beat this colassal of a man.He started to charged at me.I jumped to dodge but he grabed my laeg.He started to throw me into the wall of the cliff.I took my sythe and cut him open.He instantly dropped me.I land on my feet he said he was going to kill me for that.I knew the man didnt know who i was.I had a smirk on my face, i knew i had to take out his base to defeat him.He charged again but this time i didnt mve.Something stoped me but what.The large man just ran rite though me.He threw me into some trees.When i hit i felt my ribs crack.I started to stand up i knew this wouldnt last much longer.So i grabed my sythe and charged at him.He had the look of surprised on his face.I used my speed to get close to his legs.I swung my sythe and cut both of his legs he fell down.I watched as the man tried to get up,but he couldnt.He started to curse at me.I look over and seen rikuu finally getting up after getting beat by this man..I took my sythe and made the final blow to him i cut his head off.As the courpse feel over i started to rember all of my family getting killed the vary same way.I went and checked on rikuu she said she was ok.We staarted to head back to the village.I thought to my self what do i need to do to find my way and out of the darkness as we walked home.

animelover · 09-02-2009, 12:15 PM

Go for it.

animelover · 09-02-2009, 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeremy Uchiha

part 5.....this will be the end of this story if no one reads or post
This man i was about to take on.I didnt know how to break him down or what he had in store for me.I just looked at him trying to figure out how to beat this colassal of a man.He started to charged at me.I jumped to dodge but he grabed my laeg.He started to throw me into the wall of the cliff.I took my sythe and cut him open.He instantly dropped me.I land on my feet he said he was going to kill me for that.I knew the man didnt know who i was.I had a smirk on my face, i knew i had to take out his base to defeat him.He charged again but this time i didnt mve.Something stoped me but what.The large man just ran rite though me.He threw me into some trees.When i hit i felt my ribs crack.I started to stand up i knew this wouldnt last much longer.So i grabed my sythe and charged at him.He had the look of surprised on his face.I used my speed to get close to his legs.I swung my sythe and cut both of his legs he fell down.I watched as the man tried to get up,but he couldnt.He started to curse at me.I look over and seen rikuu finally getting up after getting beat by this man..I took my sythe and made the final blow to him i cut his head off.As the courpse feel over i started to rember all of my family getting killed the vary same way.I went and checked on rikuu she said she was ok.We staarted to head back to the village.I thought to my self what do i need to do to find my way and out of the darkness as we walked home.

I think thats good, how about you space some parts so its easier to read like:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeremy Uchiha

part 5.....this will be the end of this story if no one reads or post
This man i was about to take on.I didnt know how to break him down or what he had in store for me.

I just looked at him trying to figure out how to beat this colassal of a man.He started to charged at me.I jumped to dodge but he grabed my laeg.He started to throw me into the wall of the cliff.I took my sythe and cut him open.He instantly dropped me.I land on my feet he said he was going to kill me for that.I knew the man didnt know who i was.I had a smirk on my face, i knew i had to take out his base to defeat him.He charged again but this time i didnt mve.Something stoped me but what.The large man just ran rite though me.He threw me into some trees.

When i hit i felt my ribs crack.I started to stand up i knew this wouldnt last much longer.So i grabed my sythe and charged at him.He had the look of surprised on his face.I used my speed to get close to his legs.I swung my sythe and cut both of his legs he fell down.I watched as the man tried to get up,but he couldnt.He started to curse at me.I look over and seen rikuu finally getting up after getting beat by this man..I took my sythe and made the final blow to him i cut his head off.

As the courpse feel over i started to rember all of my family getting killed the vary same way.I went and checked on rikuu she said she was ok.We staarted to head back to the village.I thought to my self what do i need to do to find my way and out of the darkness as we walked home.

But yeah don't quit Jeremy! You asked me for help and here I am! lol Good fight too.

Raiden · 09-02-2009, 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeremy Uchiha

part 5.....this will be the end of this story if no one reads or post
This man i was about to take on.I didnt know how to break him down or what he had in store for me.I just looked at him trying to figure out how to beat this colassal of a man.He started to charged at me.I jumped to dodge but he grabed my laeg.He started to throw me into the wall of the cliff.I took my sythe and cut him open.He instantly dropped me.I land on my feet he said he was going to kill me for that.I knew the man didnt know who i was.I had a smirk on my face, i knew i had to take out his base to defeat him.He charged again but this time i didnt mve.Something stoped me but what.The large man just ran rite though me.He threw me into some trees.When i hit i felt my ribs crack.I started to stand up i knew this wouldnt last much longer.So i grabed my sythe and charged at him.He had the look of surprised on his face.I used my speed to get close to his legs.I swung my sythe and cut both of his legs he fell down.I watched as the man tried to get up,but he couldnt.He started to curse at me.I look over and seen rikuu finally getting up after getting beat by this man..I took my sythe and made the final blow to him i cut his head off.As the courpse feel over i started to rember all of my family getting killed the vary same way.I went and checked on rikuu she said she was ok.We staarted to head back to the village.I thought to my self what do i need to do to find my way and out of the darkness as we walked home.

good so far Jeremy, keep up the good work

Sephiroth · 09-02-2009, 12:41 PM

bumb lol

Konoichi · 09-02-2009, 12:47 PM

is this what u were talking bout jeremy? i'm sorry but i got enough reading to do right now...i'll read it later after animelover's.

Sephiroth · 09-02-2009, 12:48 PM

yeah it is dd and ok take ur time

animelover · 09-02-2009, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Konoichi

is this what u were talking bout jeremy? i'm sorry but i got enough reading to do right now...i'll read it later after animelover's.

woot! And Jeremy keep it going.

Sephiroth · 09-02-2009, 01:07 PM

idk anime she hasnt even read it and if my only fans are u and raiden then it must really be bad

08-21-2009, 11:27 PM	#21
Sephiroth Lord of Darkness Vault Disciple Join Date: May 2009 Location: Trying to fix the emptiness within me Posts: 23,137 Rep Power: 18 Member's Picture Albums	Re: the ninja lost in the darkness part 4 ..As me and riku ws walking down the path...i kept haveing flash back to what has hppened to me and my family and why i kill the way i do...As i wasnt paying attention riku kept talking about some hot spring in this next village..While on the path we noticed some blood and a trail .It looked like a trail from where a body was drug..Hmm what was going on here.We deiced to follow the trail to an area tht was heavly protected.As i sit there in the tree watching trying to device plan Riku jumped down in the middle of them.She said hey boys what cha doing.I stood there wtching as she fought the group of enemy ninja they wasnt very good i could tell.She fought and defeated them all.I noticed a larger man appear off in the distance walking towards riku.I seen her turn around and activte her kg.I knew this was going to be a fight for her.I watched as they fought the enemy seemed not to be even trying as i watched he quickly deafeated her in 5 hits.I didnt know what to do to fight or to regroup with my self.I activate my kg and jumped down before any more damage could be done.He looked at me and had an evil grin.I pulled out my sythe and strte at him with my eyes.As i get ready for him i knew this wsnt going to be easy. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

08-21-2009, 11:33 PM	#22
Cade Special Jonin Candidate Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: In a world of poverty, violence,sex,drugs,wars,arguements and racisim.Basically the U.S.A Posts: 6,065 Rep Power: 11 Member's Picture Albums	Re: the ninja lost in the darkness Also try to be a little bit more specifc in the battles,and do a little bit better in spelling too. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Last edited by Cade; 08-21-2009 at 11:35 PM.

09-02-2009, 12:13 PM	#23
Sephiroth Lord of Darkness Vault Disciple Join Date: May 2009 Location: Trying to fix the emptiness within me Posts: 23,137 Rep Power: 18 Member's Picture Albums	Re: the ninja lost in the darkness part 5.....this will be the end of this story if no one reads or post This man i was about to take on.I didnt know how to break him down or what he had in store for me.I just looked at him trying to figure out how to beat this colassal of a man.He started to charged at me.I jumped to dodge but he grabed my laeg.He started to throw me into the wall of the cliff.I took my sythe and cut him open.He instantly dropped me.I land on my feet he said he was going to kill me for that.I knew the man didnt know who i was.I had a smirk on my face, i knew i had to take out his base to defeat him.He charged again but this time i didnt mve.Something stoped me but what.The large man just ran rite though me.He threw me into some trees.When i hit i felt my ribs crack.I started to stand up i knew this wouldnt last much longer.So i grabed my sythe and charged at him.He had the look of surprised on his face.I used my speed to get close to his legs.I swung my sythe and cut both of his legs he fell down.I watched as the man tried to get up,but he couldnt.He started to curse at me.I look over and seen rikuu finally getting up after getting beat by this man..I took my sythe and made the final blow to him i cut his head off.As the courpse feel over i started to rember all of my family getting killed the vary same way.I went and checked on rikuu she said she was ok.We staarted to head back to the village.I thought to my self what do i need to do to find my way and out of the darkness as we walked home. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

09-02-2009, 12:15 PM	#24
animelover Jonin Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: New York. Alternatively, with Roxas in Twilight Town Posts: 6,005 Rep Power: 12 Member's Picture Albums	Re: the ninja lost in the darkness Go for it. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. My boyfriend: Raiden

09-02-2009, 12:41 PM	#27
Sephiroth Lord of Darkness Vault Disciple Join Date: May 2009 Location: Trying to fix the emptiness within me Posts: 23,137 Rep Power: 18 Member's Picture Albums	Re: the ninja lost in the darkness bumb lol __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

09-02-2009, 12:47 PM	#28
Konoichi Veteran Chunin Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: With the sweetest, kindest, awesomest, cutest guy in the world (aka andrew;))... Posts: 1,276 Rep Power: 8	Re: the ninja lost in the darkness is this what u were talking bout jeremy? i'm sorry but i got enough reading to do right now...i'll read it later after animelover's.

09-02-2009, 12:48 PM	#29
Sephiroth Lord of Darkness Vault Disciple Join Date: May 2009 Location: Trying to fix the emptiness within me Posts: 23,137 Rep Power: 18 Member's Picture Albums	Re: the ninja lost in the darkness yeah it is dd and ok take ur time __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

09-02-2009, 01:07 PM	#31
Sephiroth Lord of Darkness Vault Disciple Join Date: May 2009 Location: Trying to fix the emptiness within me Posts: 23,137 Rep Power: 18 Member's Picture Albums	Re: the ninja lost in the darkness idk anime she hasnt even read it and if my only fans are u and raiden then it must really be bad __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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