Can you change?

[Souret]

I've heard so many people (friends and family) go into relationships thinking they can change that person, or claiming they are willing to change for that person.

Personally I wouldn't change who I am for someone, nor would I expect someone to change for me.

Do you believe a realtionship can work if you try to change for each other?

[Muffintop]

Depends on the change. If someone is trying to change things like the way you eat, sleep, drink, ect., when it is not hurting anyone in the slightest, much less yourself, then no, I don't think it's for the best. However, should the person be trying to change something about you--or vice versa--that causes either one of you great grief, then I don't really see much issue with changing for someone or them changing for you. That's when willingness comes into play.

Relationships take effort, effort from both sides. Hardly anyone goes into a relationship without changing something for the better.

[Shikamaru Nara]

I think events change people.
People can't change people.

[Maikeru D. Shinigami]

Depends how big of a change it is. Each person is different, so what person is willing to change is not always going to be something someone else is willing to change. I would be willing to change my laziness, but not my ability to be awesome for instance.

If the person was always willing to change that part of their life in the first place, you could get away with it. When you start turning someone into a person they're not though, you're probably going to have problems.

[Shisko Shi]

No, you can not change someone. You can influnce them to change or ask them, but you can not actully change them. You can only change your self. Now would I? No, unless it is better.

[Maikeru D. Shinigami]

Originally Posted by Shisko Shi

No, you can not change someone. You can influnce them to change or ask them, but you can not actully change them. You can only change your self. Now would I? No, unless it is better.

What if someone is just naturally adaptable?

[Kakashi Hatake_Yamato]

Not sure. I'm quite a stubborn person who holds on to past ideals. Only the future will tell.

[Shisko Shi]

Yea, but you your self can not change someone. YOu have full control over your body. YOu adabt, but you will see it happaning sooner or later. But someone can not makie you change.

[mrsticky005]

I can change anyone!!!

But it requires a buzz saw, a crash course in neurology, and lots of Scotch.

Any volunteers?

[Selena777]

I am who I am, no matter who I'm with. And if people don't like me then they shouldn't talk to me.

[Shisko Shi]

I wore jeans the other day not I have shorts... So yes

[Ironscout4]

it depends on the persionality of the person still it would be hard to keep it up

[Kiko-kun]

They can't change the person unless the person is willing to be changed. You can't make someone do what they don't want to.

[Kunoichi]

I think the opposite is true in alot of cases, people break up because one or more parties in the relationship did change, and not always in a bad way. I can guarantee i'm not the same person i was when i was 16, I'm not even the same person I was a year ago.

I guess what i'm saying is people are going to change one way or another, you can try to influence that to a degree i suppose and sometimes it works but i feel like you guys think its a bad thing? I can see several ways and think of many examples where one person influenced another to change in some way and it's worked out awesome.

[Vornmusion]

Originally Posted by Souret

Do you believe a relationship can work if you try to change for each other?

A relationship that works doesn't make it a good relationship. Going into the relationship attempting to change someone means you have predesignated goals and assumptions, setting your subconscious in its ways toward that person. It's a poison that leaks into the bloodstream of the relationship.

Never change for another person; change for yourself. Needing change means needing to be happy with yourself and your life -- you don't change if you're at peace already. You never enter a relationship until you're happy with your own life.

What kind of selfish person that can't even make themself happy expects someone else to fill that role for both people? And how can they expect to make someone else happy when they fail to do so for themself? Most of the world actually; and that's a good enough reason alone for the ridiculous ratio of divorces, not even counting everything else that is working against you.

[Gaara-Shukaku]

A lot of things may need to be changed in a relationship but as Souret said I wouldn't change anyone or expect it for them, when people try and change and adapt their relationship by changing major aspects of it that is when a relationships starts becoming faulty. And as Vorn rightly said it's your life, so only change for yourself. Very selfish people expect change from partners and I think it is pathetic, no couple is perfect but why change what is working?

[l3thall3g3nd]

Originally Posted by Shikamaru Nara

I think events change people.
People can't change people.

Was actually gonna say the exact same thing, couldn't of said it better myself.

[サスケ]

I doubt people can change. Some people, for example, always stay paranoid and insecure.

[Divine Rush]

nope you should never have to change nothing period if they love you for who you are then it will work perfect

[storm123]

I personally think conditions and curcumstances can change people.