Story 1- Obedient

[Shinagami]

This is my new story I'm working on, I'm not sure how long it's going to be or what I plan on doing with it or anything haha, because right now I'm just writing it to see what I can do and to get feedback from you lovely people! So please read and enjoy and tell me what you think, constructive criticism is always welcome! Thank you!

Also, I apologize in advance if there is any punctuation errors or anything, I wrote this on the spot with no prior planning, and I copied and pasted it from the Word document that I wrote it on, and that has a tendency to mess some stuff up when I do that, sooo yeahh... Just point it out and I will fix it whenever I can!

Story 1- Part 1- Obedient

The subway car rattled and shook as it made its noisy way down the tracks. All cars were empty, as empty as the barren world, save for one lonely passenger. A man, his head bowed low and hands clasped together to hide the shaking, sat alone in the musty space. The man’s fitting name was Jun, meaning obedient, but it had not always been so. In fact, he even had some vague memories of another time, the time before his name and identity changed. A time when the world was green, and he was innocent, and he had never killed. Vaguely, he remembered…

His name had been Kiyoshi, meaning pure, and he had lived in what used to be known as Tokyo, but was now just Area 14. People called it that because that was where the disease had all started, the disease that had wiped out 98.7% of the human population in just two weeks. The disease was an auto-immune, mutated form of the bubonic plague, and the number 14 came from the century in which this disease was believed to have been used for biological warfare. But few knew that, and just called it that because, well, that was what it was. But before it was Area 14, Jun recalled it being beautiful, with big glass buildings stretching their big metallic arms up to the heavens, with lush green grass and cherry blossom trees everywhere. But the odd thing was, he could remember what it looked like, but nothing beyond that. No family, no friends, no specific places or their names, just a vague outline of what it was like. Because when the disease struck, he had only survived because of one man. So it was only right that when that man told Jun to forget everything and obey him forever that he should obey, eternally. So he did, and Jun he became, and he forgot nearly everything from his past life, and built a new one around the new world and people around him.

The thoughts whirling around in the young man’s brain rattled far more than the old, dingy car carrying him. He was going to see his father for the first time in two months, to give him the report that everyone in his squadron except him had been killed by the packs of Niteris, plague infected mutations that had once been human, that they had encountered on their journey. They had been assigned a simple task, to go find new grounds to hunt and possibly move, and yet only one of them would come back alive. All 7 of his brothers, now dead and digesting in the bellies of creatures that were no more than diseases with claws and fangs. His eyes shut tight and knuckles white, he shook, recalling how he had tried to save them and had been powerless against the numbers. And he shook from rage, and hated himself for running when things looked hopeless. But he would not cry, because crying in front of the man who had saved him from the plague and who he had come to think of as a father would be even more humiliating than telling him he had run from a fight.

When the car finally stopped, he stood and composed himself. He slowly lifted his Dark Chokutō and slid it into the sheath on his hip. His eyes, hidden behind his dark shaggy hair, became bottomless and empty, as was expected of him. Show no emotion in the face of your father, because emotion can lead to the urge to disobey, which can lead to rebellion. And that cannot happen. His stomach in knots wondering what would happen to him for disobeying and fleeing, he watched the doors slowly slide open. He stepped out onto the old, cracked cement platform, and dashed up the stairs into the open night air. He slowed when he got to the top, and took in the city. There were no stars, just an ever-present cloud of smog and gas. Faintly, he could see the moon shining overhead, but it had no shape, just a blob of light. He made his way slowly down the streets, over the cracked sidewalks and hole filled streets. The once beautiful buildings were now crumbling, and looked as dead and empty as the skulls that lined the walls of a Niteris den. All except for one, of course. His destination, once called Tokyo City Hall, was now the residence of The-One-Who-Was-There, otherwise known as his father. The huge building loomed in the distance, slowly creeping closer like a patient assassin. Jun swallowed hard, his heartbeat getting faster, knowing that within that building was the great loving savior that was his father, and knowing that the same man could and would take his life for such a transgression, and wouldn’t even blink while he did so.

[WishfulFairie]

The man........

I like this cliffhanger

[Shinagami]

Sorry, I was trying to put it in spoilers and it kept messing up, so that's why it's not in them now :/

[WishfulFairie]

Well I like it!

[Shinagami]

Well thank you!