Naruto Shippuden

Naruto Discussion Forum
Who should win? Be sure to nominate who will reign supreme for this month's Member of the Month!

Go Back   Naruto Discussion Forum > The Fan Forge > Fan Fiction, Art, Stories

Fan Fiction, Art, Stories For sharing and getting input on anything you create within the forum rules. Doesn't necessarily have to be 'fan'work either. Original creative works fit just the same. Poetry and song lyrics, while not included, are also okay. Just remember the forum rules.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 07-16-2009, 03:08 AM   #1
Vaan
Chunin Exam Proctor
 
Vaan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Kilmuckridge,IE
Posts: 1,865
Rep Power: 8
Vaan is just chillin' in the village doing D-ranks at this point
Default My first poem

Uhm..this is my first poem I ever made and I like to know what people think of it:

Oh,What a beautiful sight
in the middle of the night
the moon shining in all its bright
No sound is what I hear
apart from the wind silently-
whispering in my ear.
A whisper so pleasently
It makes me wish you were here.

At this moment of a lifetime
being alone is such a crime
All this thinking makes time fly
and I notice that clouds are coming by
From the clouds I feel her tears
heaven is crying so it appears.
I feel the rain around my eyes
but then I realize
She's not the only one that cries.
__________________
My heart lies within the Village hidden in Metal.
Loyal to ByakuKage til the end!!


My Metal Village Pride I will not hide,
My race I will not disgrace,
My metal village blood flows hot and true,
my village peeps I will stand by you,
through thick and thin til the day we die,
our village flag always stand high.

Tenten's true Lover!!!!

Big Sis: CutieSakura
Lil Sis: The Anbu's Fiery Rose
Lil Bro: Sage Of The Six Paths
Vaan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2009, 03:33 AM   #2
Shkin
Veteran Chunin
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 4,652
Rep Power: 9
Shkin is far along on the distinguished path of a ninja.Shkin is far along on the distinguished path of a ninja.Shkin is far along on the distinguished path of a ninja.Shkin is far along on the distinguished path of a ninja.Shkin is far along on the distinguished path of a ninja.
Default Re: My first poem

its good...kinda lonely..

i think you're the one who's got something that i should know...
Shkin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2009, 04:58 AM   #3
kibaxino4ever234
Genin
 
kibaxino4ever234's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: hidden metal village
Posts: 352
Rep Power: 8
kibaxino4ever234 is just chillin' in the village doing D-ranks at this point
Default Re: My first poem

It was wery good...i really like it
kibaxino4ever234 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2009, 06:41 AM   #4
Ryaque
Special Jonin Candidate
 
Ryaque's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Falling down...down...down...deeper into the darkness...
Posts: 5,407
Rep Power: 10
Ryaque is far along on the distinguished path of a ninja.Ryaque is far along on the distinguished path of a ninja.Ryaque is far along on the distinguished path of a ninja.Ryaque is far along on the distinguished path of a ninja.
Send a message via Yahoo to Ryaque Send a message via Skype™ to Ryaque
Wink Re: My first poem

I like it a lot.
__________________
Song to describe my mood:
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


"So long, my luckless romance. My back is turned on you. Should've known you'd bring me heartache. Almost lovers always do..." ~Almost Lover, A Fine Frenzy
Spoiler:

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Ryaque is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2009, 06:54 AM   #5
athoatho
Veteran Chunin
 
athoatho's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Baghdad/Iraq
Posts: 1,381
Rep Power: 9
athoatho is far along on the distinguished path of a ninja.athoatho is far along on the distinguished path of a ninja.athoatho is far along on the distinguished path of a ninja.athoatho is far along on the distinguished path of a ninja.
Default Re: My first poem

why didnt you noticed the stars ? the poem is very nice i think it reflect real emotions, right ? but in a clear night how can one miss the beautiful stars ?
athoatho is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2009, 06:55 AM   #6
Yoshi-Chan
Special Jonin Candidate
 
Yoshi-Chan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Far away.
Posts: 2,216
Rep Power: 9
Yoshi-Chan saved a kitten from a tree! Yay!
Default Re: My first poem

i like it.
__________________
"I won't give up on us,
Even if the skies get rough,
I'm giving you all my love,
I'm still looking up.."
Yoshi-Chan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2009, 07:01 AM   #7
Vaan
Chunin Exam Proctor
 
Vaan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Kilmuckridge,IE
Posts: 1,865
Rep Power: 8
Vaan is just chillin' in the village doing D-ranks at this point
Default Re: My first poem

Quote:
Originally Posted by athoatho View Post
why didnt you noticed the stars ? the poem is very nice i think it reflect real emotions, right ? but in a clear night how can one miss the beautiful stars ?
One of my closest friends shortly before I wrote this,and I was
simply devastated at the time.I didnt even notice such beauty there.
__________________
My heart lies within the Village hidden in Metal.
Loyal to ByakuKage til the end!!


My Metal Village Pride I will not hide,
My race I will not disgrace,
My metal village blood flows hot and true,
my village peeps I will stand by you,
through thick and thin til the day we die,
our village flag always stand high.

Tenten's true Lover!!!!

Big Sis: CutieSakura
Lil Sis: The Anbu's Fiery Rose
Lil Bro: Sage Of The Six Paths
Vaan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2009, 07:05 AM   #8
Ryaque
Special Jonin Candidate
 
Ryaque's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Falling down...down...down...deeper into the darkness...
Posts: 5,407
Rep Power: 10
Ryaque is far along on the distinguished path of a ninja.Ryaque is far along on the distinguished path of a ninja.Ryaque is far along on the distinguished path of a ninja.Ryaque is far along on the distinguished path of a ninja.
Send a message via Yahoo to Ryaque Send a message via Skype™ to Ryaque
Wink Re: My first poem

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vaan View Post
One of my closest friends shortly before I wrote this,and I was
simply devastated at the time.I didnt even notice such beauty there.
So sad....I know how you feel though.
__________________
Song to describe my mood:
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


"So long, my luckless romance. My back is turned on you. Should've known you'd bring me heartache. Almost lovers always do..." ~Almost Lover, A Fine Frenzy
Spoiler:

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Ryaque is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2009, 07:10 AM   #9
SakuraGirl
Special Jonin Candidate
 
SakuraGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Denton,Texas
Posts: 10,186
Rep Power: 13
SakuraGirl has a spectacular chakra aura going on.SakuraGirl has a spectacular chakra aura going on.SakuraGirl has a spectacular chakra aura going on.SakuraGirl has a spectacular chakra aura going on.SakuraGirl has a spectacular chakra aura going on.SakuraGirl has a spectacular chakra aura going on.SakuraGirl has a spectacular chakra aura going on.
Send a message via Yahoo to SakuraGirl
Default Re: My first poem

very very good i think your good at writing poems
__________________
SakuraGirl-Once I hid in your Shadows,but now I will fight for the both of you
My Character Miyo Ai
Member of the Village hidden in the Moonlight
I'm a Christian and don't care what everyone else thinks about me. If you feel the same, copy and paster this into your sig.
put this on your siggy if you love Taker .
-I give Rep,May you give it back.
SakuraGirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2009, 07:14 AM   #10
athoatho
Veteran Chunin
 
athoatho's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Baghdad/Iraq
Posts: 1,381
Rep Power: 9
athoatho is far along on the distinguished path of a ninja.athoatho is far along on the distinguished path of a ninja.athoatho is far along on the distinguished path of a ninja.athoatho is far along on the distinguished path of a ninja.
Default Re: My first poem

i am sorry if i was rude, but the first part was talking about the beauty of the night so immediately i imagined a starry night, i lived such moment it is so unique sorry again if i disturbed you
athoatho is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2009, 02:11 PM   #11
sasruto
Veteran Chunin
 
sasruto's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Don't ask me, because I don't know.
Posts: 1,325
Rep Power: 0
sasruto is just chillin' in the village doing D-ranks at this point
Default Re: My first poem

it's gooood
__________________
~ I'm sorry to say that i'm going to be leaving the forums. I'll come back for a visit once a month or so. Ooh...new emotions, Well, bye. ~
~ (UPDATE 2/6/11) I will come here twice per week, instead of once per month. ~
~ (UPDATE 10/27/12) I definitely quit this site. I bet no one even knows me anymore, but oh well. I'll update again in a year. ~
sasruto is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:01 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2013, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.