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| Fan Fiction, Art, Stories For sharing and getting input on anything you create within the forum rules. Doesn't necessarily have to be 'fan'work either. Original creative works fit just the same. Poetry and song lyrics, while not included, are also okay. Just remember the forum rules. |
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07-16-2009, 03:08 AM
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#1 |
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Chunin Exam Proctor
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Kilmuckridge,IE
Posts: 1,865
Rep Power: 8  |
My first poem
Uhm..this is my first poem I ever made and I like to know what people think of it:
Oh,What a beautiful sight in the middle of the night the moon shining in all its bright No sound is what I hear apart from the wind silently- whispering in my ear. A whisper so pleasently It makes me wish you were here. At this moment of a lifetime being alone is such a crime All this thinking makes time fly and I notice that clouds are coming by From the clouds I feel her tears heaven is crying so it appears. I feel the rain around my eyes but then I realize She's not the only one that cries.
__________________
My heart lies within the Village hidden in Metal.
Loyal to ByakuKage til the end!! My Metal Village Pride I will not hide, My race I will not disgrace, My metal village blood flows hot and true, my village peeps I will stand by you, through thick and thin til the day we die, our village flag always stand high. Tenten's true Lover!!!! Big Sis: CutieSakura Lil Sis: The Anbu's Fiery Rose Lil Bro: Sage Of The Six Paths |
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07-16-2009, 03:33 AM
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#2 |
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Veteran Chunin
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 4,652
Rep Power: 9 |
Re: My first poem
its good...kinda lonely..
i think you're the one who's got something that i should know... 
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07-16-2009, 04:58 AM
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#3 |
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Genin
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: hidden metal village
Posts: 352
Rep Power: 8 |
Re: My first poem
It was wery good...i really like it
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07-16-2009, 06:41 AM
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#4 |
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Special Jonin Candidate
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Falling down...down...down...deeper into the darkness...
Posts: 5,407
Rep Power: 10  |
Re: My first poem
I like it a lot.
__________________
Song to describe my mood: To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. "So long, my luckless romance. My back is turned on you. Should've known you'd bring me heartache. Almost lovers always do..." ~Almost Lover, A Fine Frenzy Spoiler:
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07-16-2009, 06:54 AM
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#5 |
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Veteran Chunin
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Baghdad/Iraq
Posts: 1,381
Rep Power: 9 |
Re: My first poem
why didnt you noticed the stars ? the poem is very nice i think it reflect real emotions, right ? but in a clear night how can one miss the beautiful stars ?
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07-16-2009, 06:55 AM
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#6 |
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Special Jonin Candidate
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Far away.
Posts: 2,216
Rep Power: 9 |
Re: My first poem
i like it.
__________________
"I won't give up on us,
Even if the skies get rough, I'm giving you all my love, I'm still looking up.." |
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07-16-2009, 07:01 AM
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#7 | |
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Chunin Exam Proctor
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Kilmuckridge,IE
Posts: 1,865
Rep Power: 8 |
Re: My first poem
Quote:
simply devastated at the time.I didnt even notice such beauty there.
__________________
My heart lies within the Village hidden in Metal.
Loyal to ByakuKage til the end!! My Metal Village Pride I will not hide, My race I will not disgrace, My metal village blood flows hot and true, my village peeps I will stand by you, through thick and thin til the day we die, our village flag always stand high. Tenten's true Lover!!!! Big Sis: CutieSakura Lil Sis: The Anbu's Fiery Rose Lil Bro: Sage Of The Six Paths |
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07-16-2009, 07:05 AM
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#8 | |
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Special Jonin Candidate
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Falling down...down...down...deeper into the darkness...
Posts: 5,407
Rep Power: 10 |
Re: My first poem
Quote:
__________________
Song to describe my mood: To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. "So long, my luckless romance. My back is turned on you. Should've known you'd bring me heartache. Almost lovers always do..." ~Almost Lover, A Fine Frenzy Spoiler:
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07-16-2009, 07:10 AM
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#9 |
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Special Jonin Candidate
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Denton,Texas
Posts: 10,186
Rep Power: 13  |
Re: My first poem
very very good i think your good at writing poems
__________________
SakuraGirl-Once I hid in your Shadows,but now I will fight for the both of you My Character Miyo Ai Member of the Village hidden in the Moonlight I'm a Christian and don't care what everyone else thinks about me. If you feel the same, copy and paster this into your sig. put this on your siggy if you love Taker . -I give Rep,May you give it back. |
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07-16-2009, 07:14 AM
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#10 |
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Veteran Chunin
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Baghdad/Iraq
Posts: 1,381
Rep Power: 9 |
Re: My first poem
i am sorry if i was rude, but the first part was talking about the beauty of the night so immediately i imagined a starry night, i lived such moment it is so unique sorry again if i disturbed you
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07-16-2009, 02:11 PM
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#11 |
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Veteran Chunin
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Don't ask me, because I don't know.
Posts: 1,325
Rep Power: 0 |
Re: My first poem
it's gooood
__________________
~ I'm sorry to say that i'm going to be leaving the forums. I'll come back for a visit once a month or so. Ooh...new emotions, Well, bye. ~ ~ (UPDATE 2/6/11) I will come here twice per week, instead of once per month. ~ ~ (UPDATE 10/27/12) I definitely quit this site. I bet no one even knows me anymore, but oh well. I'll update again in a year. ~ |
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