My story

Moon · 07-14-2009, 11:14 AM

meh....i thought it would be fun to right one
(setting:a kingdom with an evil ruler)
------------
Intro:
As a young man paced in the waiting room of the hospital he prayed "Please don't let this one die too". Later,a docter came out and walked to the man.The man said "Are the alive." the docter said "....i'm sorry your wife didn't make it."then the man said "What about the baby." Then the docter paused and said "Edward your newborn boy is alive and well." Enven though Edward was filled with sadness he smiled then he said "I will call him.....Dusk"
-------
i am not the best at writing but this is the best i can do(p.s. there are a few time skips)

Moon · 07-16-2009, 10:01 AM

Chapter one:The curse

After months of Dusk's birth Edward tried to keep Dusk from dieing.Dusk keeped on having near death experiences like somehow getting ontop of his house and jumping off to being attacked by wild animals.Edward heard that a Magician was coming to his town.He doesn't belive in magic but it was worth a try.

Weeks later,Edward and Dusk went to the Magicians cart they saw many srange potions and dusts. Then out of nowhere a man appeared and asked "Yes what can i do for you" so edward said "Is there any way you can make my son immortal." the Magician looked shocked and said "Yes,i can but there is a few rules to this immortality" Edward looked confused and asked "There is more than one kind of immortality" the Mage said "Yes and this one is called a Heart Lock.You see i can lock his heart where he never dies but the rules are.if someone had a heart key they can kill him by unlocking his heart.He is immortal when his friends are not around.The next one is crucial if he ever draws blood from another human two will be born from one"
Edward looked surprised and said "What do you mean by 'two will be born from one' "
Then the mage said "i am not to say no more so shall we begin" Edward nodded and the mage began the ritual.

Vatanui AKA Pride · 07-16-2009, 11:17 AM

Good, Moon. Keep working!

sasruto · 07-16-2009, 02:10 PM

YAY. I like it for now

Moon · 07-17-2009, 12:10 AM

Chapter 2:The rebels
13 horrid years have passed and the evil king's reign grew larger every month.

As strange people came into the town Edward and Dusk live people hid knowing how they are....but Edward and his son. Soon after they came Edward nock over the leader of the people so Edward said "Sorry my....." then the leader hit Edward to a wall "watch where you are going" then Dusk said "Hey leave me dad alone" then Dusk helped his dad up but then the leader kicked Dusk to the ground "Stay down kid before i hurt you." Then something snapped in Edward and he said "Stay away from my kid" the the leader said "Who's gonna stop me you." the suddenly Edward nocked out the leader and the rest of the stange people attacked only to be deafeted by Edward.Hours later the leader woke up and walked to Edward and said "I am sorry for what happened" so Edward said "It's ok it was an acciedent that went wrong" the leader nodded and asked "How would you like to lead the rebels agianst the king" Edward looked shocked and said "I don't know but it will be better for the people so yes i would." Dusk overheard the conversation and asked "Hey can i join" Edward paused and said "No you are too young" Dusk sighed and said "ok fine"
The former leader said "My name is Leon ok" Edward nodded and said "Rest tonight and attack tomorrow"

Soon the king noticed a rebelliation started and the king was frustrated. As the king walked with his war general he asked "How many battles have our army fought with those rotten rebels"
then the general answered "Over 30 sire but the have a new comander they say." the king asked "Ok what is his name if you know it" the general stopped and said "Edward......your brother." Then the king stopped cold in his tracks and said "That rotten scumbag."

KyuubiAkatsuki · 07-17-2009, 12:15 AM

dude thats hecka good

Moon · 07-17-2009, 12:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KyuubiAkatsuki

dude thats hecka good

whatever......

KyuubiAkatsuki · 07-17-2009, 12:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moon

whatever......

what?

Moon · 07-17-2009, 12:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KyuubiAkatsuki

what?

idk....me think how to write the next part in the next week or so

KyuubiAkatsuki · 07-17-2009, 12:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moon

idk....me think how to write the next part in the next week or so

ooh cool, do you have the idea already?

Moon · 07-17-2009, 12:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KyuubiAkatsuki

ooh cool, do you have the idea already?

no it takes a while they usually come up when i am taking a dump

KyuubiAkatsuki · 07-17-2009, 12:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moon

no it takes a while they usually come up when i am taking a dump

lol weird, but at least it gives you the ideas

Moon · 07-17-2009, 12:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KyuubiAkatsuki

lol weird, but at least it gives you the ideas

yea they also come when i am watching tv and on the com.

KyuubiAkatsuki · 07-17-2009, 12:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moon

yea they also come when i am watching tv and on the com.

ooh, cool man

Moon · 07-17-2009, 12:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KyuubiAkatsuki

ooh, cool man

and acuardly i live my story in my dreams

KyuubiAkatsuki · 07-17-2009, 12:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moon

and acuardly i live my story in my dreams

really?

Moon · 07-17-2009, 12:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KyuubiAkatsuki

really?

yea....i am in books when i sleep...i hate the ones when i have to be a girl when i dream

KyuubiAkatsuki · 07-17-2009, 12:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moon

yea....i am in books when i sleep...i hate the ones when i have to be a girl when i dream

cool, oh wow that must be wierd

Moon · 07-17-2009, 12:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KyuubiAkatsuki

cool, oh wow that must be wierd

yea it is it is also bad when i read freakin' romance novels and dream i am in them*pukes*

KyuubiAkatsuki · 07-17-2009, 12:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moon

yea it is it is also bad when i read freakin' romance novels and dream i am in them*pukes*

lol are you a girl or a guy in those dreams?

07-14-2009, 11:14 AM	#1
Moon Special Jonin Candidate Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 3,806 Rep Power: 9	My story meh....i thought it would be fun to right one (setting:a kingdom with an evil ruler) ------------ Intro: As a young man paced in the waiting room of the hospital he prayed "Please don't let this one die too". Later,a docter came out and walked to the man.The man said "Are the alive." the docter said "....i'm sorry your wife didn't make it."then the man said "What about the baby." Then the docter paused and said "Edward your newborn boy is alive and well." Enven though Edward was filled with sadness he smiled then he said "I will call him.....Dusk" ------- i am not the best at writing but this is the best i can do(p.s. there are a few time skips) Last edited by Moon; 07-16-2009 at 09:44 AM.

07-16-2009, 10:01 AM	#2
Moon Special Jonin Candidate Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 3,806 Rep Power: 9	Re: My story Chapter one:The curse After months of Dusk's birth Edward tried to keep Dusk from dieing.Dusk keeped on having near death experiences like somehow getting ontop of his house and jumping off to being attacked by wild animals.Edward heard that a Magician was coming to his town.He doesn't belive in magic but it was worth a try. Weeks later,Edward and Dusk went to the Magicians cart they saw many srange potions and dusts. Then out of nowhere a man appeared and asked "Yes what can i do for you" so edward said "Is there any way you can make my son immortal." the Magician looked shocked and said "Yes,i can but there is a few rules to this immortality" Edward looked confused and asked "There is more than one kind of immortality" the Mage said "Yes and this one is called a Heart Lock.You see i can lock his heart where he never dies but the rules are.if someone had a heart key they can kill him by unlocking his heart.He is immortal when his friends are not around.The next one is crucial if he ever draws blood from another human two will be born from one" Edward looked surprised and said "What do you mean by 'two will be born from one' " Then the mage said "i am not to say no more so shall we begin" Edward nodded and the mage began the ritual.

07-16-2009, 11:17 AM	#3
Vatanui AKA Pride has a farm... WCA Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: You know what? Dammit, just call me Vat. Posts: 30,646 Rep Power: 19 Member's Picture Albums	Re: My story Good, Moon. Keep working! __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

07-16-2009, 02:10 PM	#4
sasruto Veteran Chunin Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Don't ask me, because I don't know. Posts: 1,325 Rep Power: 0	Re: My story YAY. I like it for now __________________ ~ I'm sorry to say that i'm going to be leaving the forums. I'll come back for a visit once a month or so. Ooh...new emotions, Well, bye. ~ ~ (UPDATE 2/6/11) I will come here twice per week, instead of once per month. ~ ~ (UPDATE 10/27/12) I definitely quit this site. I bet no one even knows me anymore, but oh well. I'll update again in a year. ~

07-17-2009, 12:10 AM	#5
Moon Special Jonin Candidate Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 3,806 Rep Power: 9	Re: My story Chapter 2:The rebels 13 horrid years have passed and the evil king's reign grew larger every month. As strange people came into the town Edward and Dusk live people hid knowing how they are....but Edward and his son. Soon after they came Edward nock over the leader of the people so Edward said "Sorry my....." then the leader hit Edward to a wall "watch where you are going" then Dusk said "Hey leave me dad alone" then Dusk helped his dad up but then the leader kicked Dusk to the ground "Stay down kid before i hurt you." Then something snapped in Edward and he said "Stay away from my kid" the the leader said "Who's gonna stop me you." the suddenly Edward nocked out the leader and the rest of the stange people attacked only to be deafeted by Edward.Hours later the leader woke up and walked to Edward and said "I am sorry for what happened" so Edward said "It's ok it was an acciedent that went wrong" the leader nodded and asked "How would you like to lead the rebels agianst the king" Edward looked shocked and said "I don't know but it will be better for the people so yes i would." Dusk overheard the conversation and asked "Hey can i join" Edward paused and said "No you are too young" Dusk sighed and said "ok fine" The former leader said "My name is Leon ok" Edward nodded and said "Rest tonight and attack tomorrow" Soon the king noticed a rebelliation started and the king was frustrated. As the king walked with his war general he asked "How many battles have our army fought with those rotten rebels" then the general answered "Over 30 sire but the have a new comander they say." the king asked "Ok what is his name if you know it" the general stopped and said "Edward......your brother." Then the king stopped cold in his tracks and said "That rotten scumbag."

07-17-2009, 12:15 AM	#6
KyuubiAkatsuki Jonin Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: California! Posts: 6,812 Rep Power: 14	Re: My story dude thats hecka good __________________ R.I.P My little bro RedBlade, he was one of the best people i knew "If sacred places are spared the ravages of war then make all places sacred. And if the holy people are to be kept harmless from war then make all peoples holy." ----- Silver Surfer from Silver Surfer Requiem Spoiler: To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Spoiler: To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)