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Old 08-17-2009, 07:00 PM   #1
MizukiUchiha11
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Default ~ Read ! ~ Uhz .. my poem to encourge ok just read it please !

Uhz .. yeah my poem to support the beta war system thingy for the wars ok just tell me if its good or not ....


I'm the fire ,
your the soul ,
Together we can do the untold ,
Defeat the bad guys ,
Win the fight ,
Defend our villages with all our might .



~ Mizuki Uchiha !

So yeah ....
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Old 08-17-2009, 10:27 PM   #2
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Default Re: ~ Read ! ~ Uhz .. my poem to encourge ok just read it please !

some1 read and tell me if good .......
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Old 08-17-2009, 10:48 PM   #3
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Default Re: ~ Read ! ~ Uhz .. my poem to encourge ok just read it please !

Good job!
I'm not a good critic though, I'm far 2 nice.
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Old 08-17-2009, 11:06 PM   #4
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Default Re: ~ Read ! ~ Uhz .. my poem to encourge ok just read it please !

Thankyou !
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Old 08-17-2009, 11:20 PM   #5
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Default Re: ~ Read ! ~ Uhz .. my poem to encourge ok just read it please !

good. fire and soul. nice. i am encouraging you to lengthen it a bit (maybe another stanza). =D i see good poet. hang on to the image of fire and soul fighting the bad guys. defending the village...will rep you for this. =D
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Old 08-18-2009, 05:34 AM   #6
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Default Re: ~ Read ! ~ Uhz .. my poem to encourge ok just read it please !

*bows* Thankyou ...
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Old 08-18-2009, 05:36 AM   #7
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Default Re: ~ Read ! ~ Uhz .. my poem to encourge ok just read it please !

Sorry to say, perhaps you'd better take a writing class. My apologies, you asked for honesty.
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Old 08-18-2009, 05:39 AM   #8
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Default Re: ~ Read ! ~ Uhz .. my poem to encourge ok just read it please !

Shut up ! I just randomly came up with it in the car i can write some totally better ! I won an award 4 some of mine ! Maybe I'll post some humm........ ? Oh wait yeah thankz 4 the honesty now I no not to enter something I put in for a class asinment or contest !

Mizuki
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Old 08-18-2009, 01:24 PM   #9
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Default Re: ~ Read ! ~ Uhz .. my poem to encourge ok just read it please !

Quote:
Originally Posted by MizukiUchiha11 View Post
Shut up ! I just randomly came up with it in the car i can write some totally better ! I won an award 4 some of mine ! Maybe I'll post some humm........ ? Oh wait yeah thankz 4 the honesty now I no not to enter something I put in for a class asinment or contest !

Mizuki
The dude is just giving his opinion, I think writing class is alittle harsh, because I thought it was a good poem, I aplod his honesty. Besides constructive criticism is good.
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Old 08-18-2009, 01:39 PM   #10
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Default Re: ~ Read ! ~ Uhz .. my poem to encourge ok just read it please !

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Originally Posted by Sasori12 View Post
The dude is just giving his opinion, I think writing class is alittle harsh, because I thought it was a good poem, I aplod his honesty. Besides constructive criticism is good.

No I ment something I Make out on the spot im not gonna enter it ...
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Old 08-18-2009, 01:40 PM   #11
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Default Re: ~ Read ! ~ Uhz .. my poem to encourge ok just read it please !

i thinks its pretty cool
im not a good critic either though but i actually thought it was kinsa funy
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Old 08-18-2009, 01:42 PM   #12
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Default Re: ~ Read ! ~ Uhz .. my poem to encourge ok just read it please !

Thankyou goody un watever but I see you have 1 rep power ! Yayz !
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Old 08-18-2009, 01:44 PM   #13
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Default Re: ~ Read ! ~ Uhz .. my poem to encourge ok just read it please !

Thats really awesome. Your good at this
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Old 08-18-2009, 01:46 PM   #14
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Default Re: ~ Read ! ~ Uhz .. my poem to encourge ok just read it please !

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Originally Posted by Row Inuzuka View Post
Thats really awesome. Your good at this
Its not my best though its my about easyiest and for the forum one ...

Thankyou everyone ..
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Old 08-18-2009, 01:51 PM   #15
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Default Re: ~ Read ! ~ Uhz .. my poem to encourge ok just read it please !

I'm a horrible critic. I'm far too honest
Spoiler:
Its horrible but good if you're just starting poetry
Great job!!

Last edited by Zarah; 08-18-2009 at 02:14 PM.
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Old 08-18-2009, 01:57 PM   #16
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Default Re: ~ Read ! ~ Uhz .. my poem to encourge ok just read it please !

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zarah View Post
I'm a horrible critic. I'm far too honest
Spoiler:
Its horrible but good if you're just starting poetry
Great job!!

LOL ! No But thankyou 4 honestly But I just came up with it outta no where in the car .... I'm a real poet but I dont post my poetry only my Weakest ones here ... I only enter mine in class assinments or contests ....
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Old 08-18-2009, 03:33 PM   #17
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Default Re: ~ Read ! ~ Uhz .. my poem to encourge ok just read it please !

love it really good
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Old 08-18-2009, 04:00 PM   #18
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Default Re: ~ Read ! ~ Uhz .. my poem to encourge ok just read it please !

from writer to writer, i say that was pretty good, keep at it!
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Old 08-18-2009, 08:00 PM   #19
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Default Re: ~ Read ! ~ Uhz .. my poem to encourge ok just read it please !

Quote:
Originally Posted by MizukiUchiha11 View Post
No I ment something I Make out on the spot im not gonna enter it ...
O! ok.
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Old 08-18-2009, 08:02 PM   #20
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Default Re: ~ Read ! ~ Uhz .. my poem to encourge ok just read it please !

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zarah View Post
I'm a horrible critic. I'm far too honest
Spoiler:
Its horrible but good if you're just starting poetry
Great job!!
The best critick's are honest, if not a little 2 harsh.

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