Will you never learn? Love STILL doesn't exist - Part III

[TheBlackChidori]

Evolutionary Psycholoy.

I take this class just for fun, I dont plan on being a psychologist. I just like understanding how the human mind works. Evolutionary Psychology is a theoretical and conceptual way of understanding the how the mind thinks not studying through vision, behavior or anything like that, but by applying theories to the subject of the mind. Nothing in this class is based on absolute fact, thats why I enjoy it so much. Sometimes the most off the wall stuff nets the highest score.

Anybody can listen to someone, and judge what "Symptom" or "Disorder" they have because of a 45 minute meeting, but it takes sometime more to dive deep into the human psyche and find the emotional offset that makes someone the way they are.


So Ive decided to use my most famous topic as the basis for my next essay.

Love: Why do humans find it necassary? What some consider to be the greatest feeling in the world, can also be turned around into the worst feeling in the world. Ask anyone who's had a broken heart. The first thing they say is "I'll never love again. Its not worth the pain of a broken heart."
Yet people continue to open themselves up to it. Since the beginning of human record, love has always been used in everyday life. Whether love is referred to as a Goddess, like in Mythology...Or love referred to as even a Holiday, like as Valentines Day. Even now, Marriage is based on love. Marriage used to be nothing but a courtship that benefited two people. A king would find the most beautiful wife as a trophy. A scribe would find a poet as his inspiration. It was a partnership. But now its something more.
Two people dont have to have ANYTHING in common to be in love anymore. Its just the feeling of it that lulls people into something like an engagement. And 85% of the time, they realize down the road that it was never love, it was a mistake. Then comes the divorce.


Here's the true definition of love: A disease A series of electrochemical processes in the brain. Yet it is still the foundation of most civilization. Adam and Eve reproduced in the minds of Christians, to start the world. To the Greeks, Eros, the God of romantic and sexual love, was the bind that drove Gaia of the Earth and Uranus of the Sky to get together, creating this world.

Its a funny fact, but the human brain decides within the first minute of meeting someone whether or not they're going to be able to love them. If you dont love someone after knowing them for years, and then you decide to suddenly marry them after a long relationship(Because you guys were best friends), then there is "Chemically speaking" no possible way that you're in love.

But its still all chemicals. Even the scent of love. Here's an exerpt I found on a study about pharamones.

"The ABC News show, "20/20," sent pairs of twins out on speed dates to test whether pheromones (scent molecules humans emit that are believed to attract other humans) might play a role in attraction. Twins were given a fragrance to wear, one with added pheromones, and one without. It was a blind test, so neither twin knew who had been doused in pheromones. The results were positive in favor of the molecules' effectiveness. One female who wore pheromones had nine out of 10 guys say they wanted to see her again. Her identical twin attracted only five of the same men."[/i]

These were identical twins. Some would say that maybe the 2nd twin had a better personality, so she got more of a response. But thats just another theory of course,

Even sexual attraction.....When a man and a woman engage in intercourse, each goes through an arousal stage. Nerve impulses from the brain cause their heart rates to increase and dilate peripheral blood vessels. They feel warm, and....other things happen as well....

So where does this emotional feeling come from, that people created? Valentine's Day, romantic movies.... Its nothing but an instinct. Like being hungry..... Seriously, when will you learn that you're not forced to love, you force yourself...

[Lou!e]

Originally Posted by TheBlackChidori

Evolutionary Psycholoy.

I take this class just for fun, I dont plan on being a psychologist. I just like understanding how the human mind works. Evolutionary Psychology is a theoretical and conceptual way of understanding the how the mind thinks not studying through vision, behavior or anything like that, but by applying theories to the subject of the mind. Nothing in this class is based on absolute fact, thats why I enjoy it so much. Sometimes the most off the wall stuff nets the highest score.

Anybody can listen to someone, and judge what "Symptom" or "Disorder" they have because of a 45 minute meeting, but it takes sometime more to dive deep into the human psyche and find the emotional offset that makes someone the way they are.


So Ive decided to use my most famous topic as the basis for my next essay.

Love: Why do humans find it necassary? What some consider to be the greatest feeling in the world, can also be turned around into the worst feeling in the world. Ask anyone who's had a broken heart. The first thing they say is "I'll never love again. Its not worth the pain of a broken heart."
Yet people continue to open themselves up to it. Since the beginning of human record, love has always been used in everyday life. Whether love is referred to as a Goddess, like in Mythology...Or love referred to as even a Holiday, like as Valentines Day. Even now, Marriage is based on love. Marriage used to be nothing but a courtship that benefited two people. A king would find the most beautiful wife as a trophy. A scribe would find a poet as his inspiration. It was a partnership. But now its something more.
Two people dont have to have ANYTHING in common to be in love anymore. Its just the feeling of it that lulls people into something like an engagement. And 85% of the time, they realize down the road that it was never love, it was a mistake. Then comes the divorce.


Here's the true definition of love: A disease A series of electrochemical processes in the brain. Yet it is still the foundation of most civilization. Adam and Eve reproduced in the minds of Christians, to start the world. To the Greeks, Eros, the God of romantic and sexual love, was the bind that drove Gaia of the Earth and Uranus of the Sky to get together, creating this world.

Its a funny fact, but the human brain decides within the first minute of meeting someone whether or not they're going to be able to love them. If you dont love someone after knowing them for years, and then you decide to suddenly marry them after a long relationship(Because you guys were best friends), then there is "Chemically speaking" no possible way that you're in love.

But its still all chemicals. Even the scent of love. Here's an exerpt I found on a study about pharamones.

"The ABC News show, "20/20," sent pairs of twins out on speed dates to test whether pheromones (scent molecules humans emit that are believed to attract other humans) might play a role in attraction. Twins were given a fragrance to wear, one with added pheromones, and one without. It was a blind test, so neither twin knew who had been doused in pheromones. The results were positive in favor of the molecules' effectiveness. One female who wore pheromones had nine out of 10 guys say they wanted to see her again. Her identical twin attracted only five of the same men."[/i]

These were identical twins. Some would say that maybe the 2nd twin had a better personality, so she got more of a response. But thats just another theory of course,

Even sexual attraction.....When a man and a woman engage in intercourse, each goes through an arousal stage. Nerve impulses from the brain cause their heart rates to increase and dilate peripheral blood vessels. They feel warm, and....other things happen as well....

So where does this emotional feeling come from, that people created? Valentine's Day, romantic movies.... Its nothing but an instinct. Like being hungry..... Seriously, when will you learn that you're not forced to love, you force yourself...

Love isn't a disease -_-. People don't enter relationships 'cause they are forced, they want to. If you don't want to be in a relationship, fine, love just doesn't exist for you.

[TheBlackChidori]

Scientific Proof, right there. Proved by hundreds of different scientists. There is no mental area, there is no part of the brain, that processes love. It only happens when the chemicals are out of whack.

[TheBlackChidori]

Originally Posted by Lou!e

Love isn't a disease -_-. People don't enter relationships 'cause they are forced, they want to. If you don't want to be in a relationship, fine, love just doesn't exist for you.

Thats the thing Lou!e. Honestly, I think I DO want a relationship. I really do. I am so tired of being alone. But Im not going to just settle for someone I cant feel it for. Maybe Im just scared of losing someone? Maybe Im scared of losing myself?

I dont know, I just wished I could find it, truly I do. Girls that I dont want, seem to want me more. Girls that I do want, dont want me.

[Lou!e]

Originally Posted by TheBlackChidori

Thats the thing Lou!e. Honestly, I think I DO want a relationship. I really do. I am so tired of being alone. But Im not going to just settle for someone I cant feel it for. Maybe Im just scared of losing someone? Maybe Im scared of losing myself?

I dont know, I just wished I could find it, truly I do. Girls that I dont want, seem to want me more. Girls that I do want, dont want me.

Hmmm you want a relationship when you say love doesn't exist all the time...hmmm fishy...Do you have a bad past with losing someone? 'Cause that might be it, which you just need to let go, your past love isn't the current one don't judge them from your past.

[Shkin]

wow! now i got to think about this for awhile...all i can say for now is...

animal instinct.

LOL! *i'm thinkin' really hard* give me a few minutes...

[TheBlackChidori]

Originally Posted by Lou!e

Hmmm you want a relationship when you say love doesn't exist all the time...hmmm fishy...Do you have a bad past with losing someone? 'Cause that might be it, which you just need to let go, your past love isn't the current one don't judge them from your past.

Not sure. Ive been engaged to someone I didnt love, and then we broke up because she was more interested in partying and suddenly got into drugs when she met new friends. A bunch of lesbians, for that matter. Suddenly she wanted to be "Bi" and totally played the game for like 6 months before deciding she wasnt Bi, and begging for me back. There lies my dislike of attention seeking bisexuals.

Also, I had a girlfriend die when I was 15, she was 16. Car wreck. Im not going to say I loved her either, but I will say its probably the closest Ive ever come.


I dont know louie, Ive lost alot in my life. Family, friends, relationships....nothing ever sticks around. To be honest, I just dont want to put myself out there, its like Im subconsciously afraid to...

And I dont know what to do.

[Nick Tasogare]

How do you explain the kid from Captain Planet with the Power of Heart? Hmmm? xD

[Lou!e]

Originally Posted by TheBlackChidori

Not sure. Ive been engaged to someone I didnt love, and then we broke up because she was more interested in partying and suddenly got into drugs when she met new friends. A bunch of lesbians, for that matter. Suddenly she wanted to be "Bi" and totally played the game for like 6 months before deciding she wasnt Bi, and begging for me back. There lies my dislike of attention seeking bisexuals.

Also, I had a girlfriend die when I was 15, she was 16. Car wreck. Im not going to say I loved her either, but I will say its probably the closest Ive ever come.


I dont know louie, Ive lost alot in my life. Family, friends, relationships....nothing ever sticks around. To be honest, I just dont want to put myself out there, its like Im subconsciously afraid to...

And I dont know what to do.

Hmm she was prolly bi form the begining. Sounds like you have had a tradgey of a life. You can't force love. It will all get better in time : ), you need to stay positive.

[Shkin]

Originally Posted by TheBlackChidori

Thats the thing Lou!e. Honestly, I think I DO want a relationship. I really do. I am so tired of being alone. But Im not going to just settle for someone I cant feel it for. Maybe Im just scared of losing someone? Maybe Im scared of losing myself?

I dont know, I just wished I could find it, truly I do. Girls that I dont want, seem to want me more. Girls that I do want, dont want me.

yay! i'm a psychic! i think i pointed this out on previous threads...
hmmm...sweet! LOL

[TheBlackChidori]

Originally Posted by Lou!e

Hmm she was prolly bi form the begining. Sounds like you have had a tradgey of a life. You can't force love. It will all get better in time : ), you need to stay positive.

I dont have time. I feel like Im slowly dropping into an endless dark abyss, and the further down I get it, the harder it is for me to reach out and touch the light. Its hard to make out the light at all now, I can barely see it. I sometimes worry that in time, it will be completely gone and there wont be any coming back.

I dont see how you can open your heart so easily to things like this. I wish I could, but I cant.

Originally Posted by shkin

yay! i'm a psychic! i think i pointed this out on previous threads...
hmmm...sweet! LOL

I dont think you get what Im saying yet.

[Lou!e]

Originally Posted by TheBlackChidori

I dont have time. I feel like Im slowly dropping into an endless dark abyss, and the further down I get it, the harder it is for me to reach out and touch the light. Its hard to make out the light at all now, I can barely see it. I sometimes worry that in time, it will be completely gone and there wont be any coming back.

I dont see how you can open your heart so easily to things like this. I wish I could, but I cant.

The first part of what you said looks like a suicide note. I can open my heart because I don't judge my love from the past loves, I trust them.

[TheBlackChidori]

Originally Posted by Lou!e

The first part of what you said looks like a suicide note. I can open my heart because I don't judge my love from the past loves, I trust them.

Haha didnt mean to make it look so emo, cant help it sometimes.

I dont judge from the past either, I just cant trust at all. I try not to blame it on the past, I live in the present. But that doesnt change how Im presently unable to trust....perhaps because of the past. Gah its complicated....

[Lou!e]

Originally Posted by TheBlackChidori

Haha didnt mean to make it look so emo, cant help it sometimes.

I dont judge from the past either, I just cant trust at all. I try not to blame it on the past, I live in the present. But that doesnt change how Im presently unable to trust....perhaps because of the past. Gah its complicated....

Sounds like it.

[TheBlackChidori]

So then help me, Counselor Louie! XD

[Lou!e]

Originally Posted by TheBlackChidori

So then help me, Counselor Louie! XD

Uhhhh.

[Nick Tasogare]

Originally Posted by Lou!e

Uhhhh.

This is where you yell "Sponge!" and start the surgery on TBC's heart. xD

[Sabra Kusabana]

Originally Posted by Nick Tasogare

This is where you yell "Sponge!" and start the surgery on TBC's heart. xD

One of these days Nick I am ganna hurt you for breaking the tension in threads I'm reading... Promise.

[Sabra Kusabana]

I kept telling myself I wouldn't do this, but's easier this way... Read.

Originally Posted by TheBlackChidori

Love: Why do humans find it necassary? What some consider to be the greatest feeling in the world, can also be turned around into the worst feeling in the world. Ask anyone who's had a broken heart. The first thing they say is "I'll never love again. Its not worth the pain of a broken heart."
True right after the event, not always on later questioning.
It was a partnership. But now its something more.
Two people dont have to have ANYTHING in common to be in love anymore. Its just the feeling of it that lulls people into something like an engagement. And 85% of the time, they realize down the road that it was never love, it was a mistake. Then comes the divorce.
I cannot argue the divorce rate, but I think most have problems telling Love and Lust apart, not even getting into infatuation.
Here's the true definition of love: A disease A series of electrochemical processes in the brain. Yet it is still the foundation of most civilization.
Mental responce to stimuli. Is that all you see in it? I suppose then that you would consider the responces of couples who have been together long periods of time as trained reactions.
Its a funny fact, but the human brain decides within the first minute of meeting someone whether or not they're going to be able to love them.
I deny this, and will for as long as I love my husband. The first time I meet him I pretty much turned my nose up at him, the thought that one day I would want nothing more then to spend my life with him was as distant to me as the sun is to pluto.
"The ABC News show, "20/20," sent pairs of twins out on speed dates to test whether pheromones (scent molecules humans emit that are believed to attract other humans) might play a role in attraction. Twins were given a fragrance to wear, one with added pheromones, and one without. It was a blind test, so neither twin knew who had been doused in pheromones. The results were positive in favor of the molecules' effectiveness. One female who wore pheromones had nine out of 10 guys say they wanted to see her again. Her identical twin attracted only five of the same men."
Sex dear, it drives partner choice. There's no argueing that, but it's not what happens during that matters, but what happens after the fact. Staying together is the choice, you can bed down with anyone. Plain and simple.
Even sexual attraction.....When a man and a woman engage in intercourse, each goes through an arousal stage. Nerve impulses from the brain cause their heart rates to increase and dilate peripheral blood vessels. They feel warm, and....other things happen as well....
Sex is not love, to think it's more is a misunderstanding.
So where does this emotional feeling come from, that people created?
They created it for the same reason that they created god/s. Because they wanted to understand something that they couldn't before.

No more yellow...

Love isn't about what draws you to a person, it's about what keeps you there. Anyone can be attracted to anyone else, but that doesn't mean they'll stay with that person. Who you want to screw and who you want to live the rest of your life with are best when they're the same person, but that's simply not always the case.

I'm sad that you have struggled so much with this, but TBC I think you're overly concerned with what would be called sexual attraction. Look for mental or emotional too. Many people would say you have to be someone's friend to love them, but you can go to bed with an enemy.

Some people say even sex requires a higher relationship... Tell that to my toys that are hidden away... Sex is sex, Love is love, best together, but they often happen appart.

Sometimes one comes from the other.

I'll admit my relationship didn't turn into love all at once, it started out with a most 'hot' summer, and evolved from there into a real romance... Or as close to as my husband could be a factor in. His 'proposal' wasn't even worthy of a bad comedy; still he's mine, and I take him as is.

[ihazcetsup]

Well, I have to say I understand where you are coming from, Chidori. I haven't had the exact series of train wrecks you just described, but I have lost my willingness to trust new people too. All I can tell you is life goes on. You will either find someone you can trust or you won't. I know that isn't much of a thing to say, but I have found some comfort in accepting life as what it is and instead of what I would like it to be.