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Old 05-28-2013, 01:46 PM   #21
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Default Re: Within the Shadows

Hello everyone! Remember me? (the one who writes the story? Yeah, that's me) I must apologize for taking so long, I've been having computer troubles (my computer had a virus, had to get it fixed, that whole song and dance) and I have yet to get my computer back. (I'm using my father's at the moment) I will try to post a new part if I can, but at the moment I have to study for finals as well as get ready for a horse show comming up. I'm swamped, but I will try, I promise. Until then, I'll announce a contest.

GET ME A THEME SONG!
Here's how it works, readers (that's you) can PM links to songs that you think fit the story. I will listen to them all then pick the one I believe to fit the best for the story and put it up as the theme. The one who picked the winning song will either get...
1) Rep, but sometimes I may have already repped you so that won't work, be advised or...
2) You may help me to write a chapter or...
3) Create a character for me to put into the story. I've done this in the past and everyone seemed to enjoy how I brought their characters to life.

I look forward to getting the songs! Note: PM ME THE LINKS! Maybe I should put it bigger...

PM ME THE LINKS TO THE SONG! POSTING THEM ON THE THREAD MAKES IT MORE DIFFICULT! PM ME!!!

Thank you as always for reading and posting comments. All comments, even negative ones, help me grow as a writer and I read every single one. Thank you so very much!

~Ryaque (that's me)
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Old 05-30-2013, 02:09 PM   #22
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Default Re: Within the Shadows

Five:

"...have her? What use is she?"
"Simple, she'll help lead us to the others."
"What makes you think she'll betray her own kind?
"I have my ways..."

Voices...who are they? Where am I...? What happened? Ra...help me...help me... I felt weak, like my body had been battered by a train going full speed, and my head throbbed angrily. Instinctively, I reached out for the Life Stream around me to strengthen me, but it didn't respond. I tried again. Nothing. Am I dead? Very slowly, for even such a little action caused pain, I opened by eyes. At first, everything was blurry, unfocused, but like a flip of a switch it focused and my heart fell to my feet.

I was in a cell. Worse, I was in a cell made of iron. My people feared iron. It cut us off from the Life Stream and left us wounded. Pro-longed exposure to the metal would cause blisters, then Iron Sickness, until we finally faded away slowly and painfully. Some say it's the real reason we live in the dark forests; no iron to poison us.

The cell was dark, and dank, and dreary. Though I thrived in the dark, even my violet eyes had trouble penetrating this darkness. I heard water drip from the ceiling to the floor. Insects scurried along the walls and over my skin. Systematically, I moved each toe, then finger, then tried to lift my legs, but chains bound me down. I tried the same with my arms and chains rattled and strained, keeping me down. I could move my head, but all around me was darkness. I couldn't even see the walls to the right or the left. I saw the floor beneath me, and the ceiling, and I was hanging like I'd been crusified. Ahead of me, faint flickering of touches caught my eye. There were two fingers getting illuminated each time the flame sputtered.

My heart fell to the floor. It was him. The human I followed. He had me prisoner. He sees me. How? HOW?!

Two heads looked up at the sound of my chains rattling. A voice, his carried through the darkness to me. "You're finally awake, Dravina. Good."
"How do you know it's name?"
"One of the leaders gave me her name. Gave her to me."

Did he mean the Council? "Y-you..." My voice was pathetically weak. Damn iron. "I know...you..."

He stepped closer to the bars. Though I couldn't see his face from the shadow cast upon it, something told me he was grinning. "And I know you, Dravina. Tell me, how is your mother?"

White hot anger flared up inside me. I begged the Life Stream to take the shape of a sword and run through his heart. Only the flames of the torches flickered. The iron was doing it's job.

He chuckled, or maybe it was more of a cackle, and turned to his companion. "Isn't she something? She's trying to use her powers even in the presence of iron."

My eyes widdened. How did he know? Could he see the Life Stream?

He turned back towards me and this time the flames cast a shadow on half of his face. He was grinning after all. "Of course I can see the Life Stream, amoung other things." Then something terrifying happened. His eyes began to glow violet, cutting through the darkness, and his grin turned into a smirk. "You and I have more in common then you could ever imagine..."

Ra...help me...
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Old 05-31-2013, 08:04 AM   #23
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Default Re: Within the Shadows

This is great.
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Old 05-31-2013, 01:01 PM   #24
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Default Re: Within the Shadows

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mangetsu Hozuki View Post
This is great.
Thank you. ^^ Would you be interested in entering the contest to find a theme song to the story? The rules are on the top of this page for you to see. You can't miss it. (I feel like an advertisment )
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Old 06-14-2013, 03:08 PM   #25
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Default Re: Within the Shadows

Six:

I am in no way considered weak. Perhaps a bit gullible, or I spend too much time daydreaming, but definitely not weak.

Yet the Hell they put me through shattered me...

My skin was covered in painful blisters. Every little movement caused burning pain to shoot through my body and then when they burst, blood would seep down my skin and burn even worse when it came into contact with other puss-filled boils, causing them to rupture as well. A vicious cycle of pain, bleeding, and more and more agony. All the while, my strength fading more and more to the point where it just exhausted me to keep my head up. Then to keep my eyes up. To breathe...

Iron Sickness soon set in. Compared to that, the blisters were nothing. Every part of my skin that was in contact with the iron began to decay as if I was a corpse. Infection set in and created a fowl odor of my body rotting away. Flesh hung in gruesome ways and sloffed off to the floor. Where the iron handcuffs touched my skin, in some places, there was only bone that was beginning to turn black. I felt every burn, every bit of my flesh decaying then falling, and every cell in my bones scream from the agony of the iron. All rational thought ceased to exist. I'd drift in and out of consciousness to dream of being swallowed by pain, only to wake up and be greeted by an agony unlike anything I've ever felt. A slow, ever constant sharp reminder of how little time I had left.

I was going to die in this place...

As if all of that wasn't enough... They did things to me... The man with the violet eyes like mine would release me from the wall. I would fall to the hard floor, too weak to even throw out my arms to protect my head. He'd drag me, causing all the blisters on my legs and back to burst in an agonizing rage, then he'd drape me over a horizontal iron bar, once again handcuffing me, then he'd take a whip with iron tipped spikes and ask me questions. If I failed to answer correctly, or didn't answer at all, he'd unleash his fury upon me. Blood splattered everywhere. The agony becoming so intense and unbearable I'd often pass out, only to find him waiting for me with another question. I'd fail again. More whipping. More dreams of pain...

The only time I was fed was when the man's companion lowered me from the wall and fed me with an iron spoon. I wasn't sure exactly what it was, but it tasted fowl. It brought up thoughts of burnt and charrcoaled meat mixed with strong smells of urine and body odor. The "water" they gave me was chunky, full of insects, some of them still alive when I swallowed them, and yellow, tasting of soil.

If there was such thing as a Hell, I'd rather go there then the place I was in now...

The rest of the time, I just hung limply in my cell. My clothes were tattered and ripped beyond any recognition as to what they were previously. My chest was expossed, my stomach, below my waist...everything, but I didn't care. I was too weak to care. I wasn't sure how long I'd been there. Days, months, or years? On the rare occasions I was able to think, I thought of Ra. I wondered if he had the Council looking for me, or if they bid me good riddance, thinking I got what I deserved for following a human. Would Ra agree with them? Was he looking for me? I held no hope of escape... Having hope meant I'd be bitterly disappointed in the end. Everything else was hurting... my heart also aching would've been too much...

Every day, every minute... I begged for death... I called out to Him with my mind, telling Him I was ready for Him to take me away from this aweful place. I waited to feel His cold skeletal hands on my broken body, squeezing my weak heart until it finally stopped. I yearned for death...

They had broken me...
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Old 06-14-2013, 03:27 PM   #26
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Default Re: Within the Shadows

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryaque View Post
Hello everyone! Remember me? (the one who writes the story? Yeah, that's me) I must apologize for taking so long, I've been having computer troubles (my computer had a virus, had to get it fixed, that whole song and dance) and I have yet to get my computer back. (I'm using my father's at the moment) I will try to post a new part if I can, but at the moment I have to study for finals as well as get ready for a horse show comming up. I'm swamped, but I will try, I promise. Until then, I'll announce a contest.

GET ME A THEME SONG!
Here's how it works, readers (that's you) can PM links to songs that you think fit the story. I will listen to them all then pick the one I believe to fit the best for the story and put it up as the theme. The one who picked the winning song will either get...
1) Rep, but sometimes I may have already repped you so that won't work, be advised or...
2) You may help me to write a chapter or...
3) Create a character for me to put into the story. I've done this in the past and everyone seemed to enjoy how I brought their characters to life.

I look forward to getting the songs! Note: PM ME THE LINKS! Maybe I should put it bigger...

PM ME THE LINKS TO THE SONG! POSTING THEM ON THE THREAD MAKES IT MORE DIFFICULT! PM ME!!!

Thank you as always for reading and posting comments. All comments, even negative ones, help me grow as a writer and I read every single one. Thank you so very much!

~Ryaque (that's me)
I am quoting myself to remind everyone of the contest. Not a SINGLE person has sent me any links for possible songs. T_T Please send me links! I really would like to give out one of those prizes! So please, please, please, please send me some songs! And of course enjoy the new chapter I put up. I apologize for the gruesome details, but Dravina is NOT in a good place right now. As always, thank you for your comments and for reading!
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Old 06-14-2013, 03:46 PM   #27
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Default Re: Within the Shadows

Good story... I just now found this... Although the song I may send you may be a bit too drastic and depressing for the mood of this story but I feel it fits with chapters 5... Or possibly 6.
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Old 06-14-2013, 03:48 PM   #28
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Default Re: Within the Shadows

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rouge Uchiha18 View Post
Good story... I just now found this... Although the song I may send you may be a bit too drastic and depressing for the mood of this story but I feel it fits with chapters 5... Or possibly 6.
That's alright. It would be the very first song anyone submits to me so I'll definitely listen to and consider it. And thank you for reading and commenting!
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Old 06-15-2013, 11:35 AM   #29
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Default Re: Within the Shadows

Seven:

"Dravina..."
"Dravina."
"Dear Dravina..."
"Dravina..."

So many voices... They're calling to me, but I don't have the energy to answer.

"Dravina," a powerful voice overpowered the rest yet its tone was soft. "Dravina, you cannot give up."
"Ra...?"
"I am looking for you... Do not give up... Do not... Give up..." Who ever was speaking was fading away now.
"Don't leave me... Don't leave me alone to die..."
"Don't give up Dravina..."
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They were comming for me again. The sound of keys rattling, then one slipping into the mouth of the lock. A turn. Click. The screaming hinges of the door. Footsteps scuffling on the ground. Then him...
"She's surprisingly resiliant to me."
"I wonder why, considering you whip her everyday." That was his companion.
"She never begs... Never blubbers... Just lays there and takes it."
"She has no energy to do anything else." The sound of water hitting the floor. "Her wounds are infected. She's living on borrowed time."
"Fix her. That's why I have you."
"I can only do so much! It's the blasted iron. Her immune system can't fight the infection."
"If we take her out of the reach of iron, she'll murder us both in cold blood."
"It would take months for her to even walk let alone kill. You over estimate her."

They continued to bicker like that, but I didn't care. I finally felt it. Death was comming to me. If I had the strength, I'd smile and call out Death's name. I awaited the skeletal touch. The biting cold. The blackness.

Nothing.

Then what was this feeling? Suddenly, from deep within, I felt something stir. Something old. Something powerful. Something very, very angry. It began in my stomach. A furious anger stirred like a whirwind, sending warmth and adrenaline up from my core to the rest of my body. All of my aches and pains blissfully vanished to be replaced with a ferocious anger. Anger became what I was. What I breathed. What kept my heart beating. No longer did the iron have any hold over me. On the inside, I was ready to strike.

I just had to wait for the right moment...

"...to our plan? How long before you realize she won't do what you want?"
"She will obey me!" His eyes began to glow violet once more. Grabbing my face, he made me look down at him though my eyes were closed. "You will obey! Do you hear me?!"

I heard Ra's voice. "Use it Dravina... Use that anger. Break free!"

"I hear you loud and clear." I smirked evilly, pleased to feel my teeth had sharpened into fangs. My voice was also much more cold and unnerving.
The companion stepped back, but the other, the man I had followed, shook me. "What did you say?!"
Slowly, I opened my eyes. The cell was no longer dark. I could see everything, down to the smallest insect scurrying across the floor in search of shelter from my anger.
"W-what the?!" He finally backed away. "Her...eyes..."
"They're... blue?!"
With no more strength that it would take to lift a finger, I freed my feet and arms from the chains and landed on all fours. A deep growl escaped my lips. Slowly, I got to my feet and summoned the Life Stream to me. This time, it answered willingly like a servant eager to please a dangerous master. Slowly, just to play with them, I took a step. Then another. Then another. I was closing in on my prey.
"Do something!" The man yelled and ran for the cell door. It was locked. It seems his companion had sealed the man's fate and took off to protect himself. I'll get him later.
The man turned to me with fear in his eyes. He saw the Life Stream around me, swirling angrly, catching my deep red hair and blowing it wildly. My eyes continued to glow the alien blue and slowly, I reached out for him.
"Don't do this! I'll do anything! Please! Spare me!"
"But... I don't owe you a favor... or a kindness... I'm simply repaying you for what you've done..." One final sneer, a powerful lunge, and I spent the entire rest of the night slowly and carefully "repaying" him for the Hell he put me through inch-by-agonizing-inch...

There is a reason... we are called "Man's Worst Enemy"...
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Old 06-21-2013, 12:41 PM   #30
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Default Re: Within the Shadows

I'm looking, I'm looking! And I just sent one, too.
Nice chapters, btw. Careful here, though. A big mistake I made when I was writing my story for the first time was not following up correctly on events like these. To me, these are the crucial points that decide where the story it going to go. Tread carefully. You've just revealed a whole 'nother side to this entire world. And, more importantly, to Dravina's personallity. Now what are you going to do with it?
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Old 06-24-2013, 08:14 AM   #31
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Default Re: Within the Shadows

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mangetsu Hozuki View Post
I'm looking, I'm looking! And I just sent one, too.
Nice chapters, btw. Careful here, though. A big mistake I made when I was writing my story for the first time was not following up correctly on events like these. To me, these are the crucial points that decide where the story it going to go. Tread carefully. You've just revealed a whole 'nother side to this entire world. And, more importantly, to Dravina's personallity. Now what are you going to do with it?
Thank your for the song suggestion and you'll just have to see in the next chapters where I'll go.
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Old 06-25-2013, 08:38 AM   #32
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Default Re: Within the Shadows

Eight

Do you think I felt guilty for what I did? Do you think I regret my cruelty towards the man I followed with the foolish hope of falling in love with him, or his companion that assisted in my torture? If you think so, you'd be wrong. I felt no regret, no remorse, only a sense of peace that I had taken my revenge on them both for what they did to me...

It was close to sunrise. I could feel it down to my bones. My agony had returned and increased with every step I took, but the sun would claim me soon, so this didn't matter. The Iron Hell was far behind me, and so was the monster I had become. I hoped with my death I'd never have to undure such hate and anger again. What was it? I heard stories of my people possessing split personalities that have immense power and only manifested when death was near. Did I also possess one of these personalities? I never heard of their eyes changing color though...

I was at the end of my limit. I could go no further... Slumping down against a tree, I cried out from the pain and called to the Life Stream, creating a blanket of Nature's energy to warm my frozen body. I'd lost a lot of blood, more then I thought was possible to survive from. Looking out over the tops of the trees, I prepared to see the second sunrise of my life. The first claimed the life of my mother. The second will claim mine. Like mother, like daughter I suppose.

The sky was beautiful. As the sun climbed, the sky was painted in rich yellows, oranges, and blues, chasing away the comforts of the night. Silently, I whispered farewell to Ra, and to my brother. Of all the people I knew, those were the two I knew would miss me. Would they believe I was dead? Or would they forever hope I'd survived somehow and will make my way home?

I supposed it doesn't matter now. There's no hope for me. Only death. Though I'd taken revenge for my suffering, it hadn't lessened the pain. I was still suffering. I was still dying. So what's the point in trying to fight it?

I closed my eyes. I felt the warmth of the morning sun on my skin. It would start out like this. A pleasent lick of heat would then turn into a burning inferno that would consume my body. Where did my people go when they died? If we weren't alive to begin with, would we just fade away into nothing? Was there a place soul-less creatures went? Or did we just become part of the Life Stream, awaiting the summonce of those still walking?

I guess I'll find out soon...

Good-bye...
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Old 06-27-2013, 01:51 PM   #33
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Default Re: Within the Shadows

Great! Pulled it off pretty near perfect. And I'll bet I know what happens next....
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Old 07-03-2013, 09:03 PM   #34
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Default Re: Within the Shadows

ATTENTION READERS!

Let's talk about theme songs shall we? I have a problem...I have a couple good ones and I just can't decide! It's a pain! So, I'll post links to them here, and allow you to pick for me. The winner will receive their prize and get put into the story or get rep, which is good because where the story recently stopped is a good place to introduce a new character. So here they are:

1) Requiem for a Dream, submitted by Rouge Uchiha18.

2) Careless Whisper, submitted by Mangetsu Hozuki. (Votes: 1)

3) Confession (What's Inside My Head), submitted by me. (Votes: 1)

4) Monster, submitted by me again.


These are the finalists so tell me what you think! (if you end up liking my song the best, I'll let the other two contestants pick between rep or a character, so I will still give out prizes ) Thank you to everyone!

IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO SUBMIT POSSIBLE THEMES IF YOU HAVE ONE!! IT'S NEVER TOO LATE! XD IF YOU HAVE ONE, GIMME GIMME GIMME! (please)
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Old 07-06-2013, 08:10 PM   #35
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Default Re: Within the Shadows

Voting is underway! Remember, either PM or post on this thread which song you believes fits the story best! I'll keep track of the votes, and of course you're allowed to vote multiple times, but one vote per choice! (meaning you can vote for #1, #2, and #4 for example but cannot vote for #3 three times) Remember, the prizes are possible rep, or having a character put into the story! And until a definite winner is decided, I feel I cannot continue the story (extra inscentive) so please vote vote vote!!!
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Old 07-11-2013, 04:15 PM   #36
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I need more votes please! :3
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Old 07-11-2013, 04:25 PM   #37
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Don't look at me. I voted.
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Old 07-11-2013, 04:40 PM   #38
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Default Re: Within the Shadows

Nine:

"Dravina..."
"Mother, what are doing here?" Sitting up, I see her standing over me. We have the same dark red hair, and of course the violet eyes. Her face was simple yet beautiful and her body was toned from hard work all her life, but she was pale like all our people. Her companion, a black draft horse, Dravner stood beside her and snorted affectionately at me.
"It is you who does not belong here, my dear." My mother crouched down and stroked my cheek softly. "It is not your time."
"Don't make me go away..."
Slowly, my mother stepped away and began to fade, Dravner following close behind. With one final swish of his magnificent tail, they were gone and now I was in blackness. Was I floating? Or flying perhaps? I felt no movement. Then, I saw a light. It was dull at first, but then it grew brighter and larger as I felt myself move closer. Was I dying?

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"Dravina! Wake up! Dravina!"
Opening my eyes, I saw Ra's deep eyes bearing down on me. They were dark with worry and the Life Stream shimmered in angry waves around him. "Ra?"
"Thank the Goddess!" Ra pulled me close and hugged me in his tigerly way while I tried to remember where I was and what happened. Looking at the sky, I saw it was well past dark. Wasn't the sun coming up when I fell asleep?
"Dravina, what happened to you? Your body is covered in wounds and smells of death!"
"I was captured...tortured..." Without consciously wanting to, I grinned malevolently. "Those responsible are now lying in pieces!"
Ra's eyes hardened. "Something in you has changed."
"Torture has a way of doing that to a girl." I get to my feet and realized many of my more severe wounds were well on their way to full recovery. My bone no longer showed and I felt only mild pain. How long was I asleep?
"You've been missing for days. We were worried about you."
"We?"
"The entire village has been looking for you! Haven't you heard our calls in the night?"
I shook my head. My people are able to communicate over vast distances by calling out and letting the Life Stream carry our voices to those we desire to hear them. Each call is different. Ra's is a savage roar while mine is the howl of a wolf alone and suffering. "I didn't hear them."
Ra pawed the ground hard in rage, his fur standing on end. "That's what you get for trusting humans!" He walked away. "Come, it's time to return home."
"Trusting humans... never again..." I followed Ra silently, the images of the man and his assistant dying replaying in my head. What was that thing...?
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Old 07-17-2013, 08:44 AM   #39
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Default Re: Within the Shadows

Transition Chapter. Okay.
I hope you're going to explain how Dravina survived.
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Old 07-30-2013, 06:12 PM   #40
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Default Re: Within the Shadows

Ten:

After a week of recuperationg, I found myself once again infront of the Council. There was Drake, sneering down at me as I stood with Ra laying at my side, deceptively calm and relaxed.

"I see you've finally decided to join us."

"I've been healing. I was tortured by two humans."

"I am aware of this."

"Obviously not since you thought I was avoiding the Council's summonce when really I was healing." I snapped at him. I saw Ra smirk ever so slightly next to me.

"Your rudeness is not appeciated, Dravina."

"Neither is yours, Drake."

Drunor, Drake's anti-lion companion, growled dangerously by Drake's side. Instead of the normal tan, Drunor's coat was a silver with a darker mane and of course violet eyes. Apparently, silver is the opposite of tan?

"You will do well to have some respect!" Another member, an old man by the name of Chark, snarled and spit a bit as he said the words.

I turned to him. "And you would do well to use more moisterizer. Your skin is all old and wrinkly."

"The insolence!" Chark summoned the Life Stream en mass around him and prepared to attack me but a strict order from Drake had him backing off. Turning back to me, Drake examined me closely.

"I sense a change in you."

"You're the second person to say that. To that I will reply the same: torture does that to a girl."

Drake's eyes flashed slightly, whether in anger or not I'm not sure, but he hide whatever it was well and it was quickly gone. "It is your fault in the first place for allowing humans to hold you prisoner."

"They held me with iron." At this the Council roared to life and accused me of lying, saying the humans could never know of our weakness to iron. "I speak the truth," I continued, "and I am sure they were not completely human. The one... his eyes changed violet and he summoned the Life Stream."

"Liar!" Chark barked out and lept to his feet.

I turned to face him. "What reason would I have for lying?! Truly, what could possibly be my motive?! You think I gave these wounds to myself?! You think I willingly suffered Iron Sickness just to spite the Council?!"

Chark was about to yell back at me but a lion's roar cut off whatever he was going to say. Drunor stood to his full magnificent height, mane standing up and bristling in rage. He slowly stepped down from his specialy made pedastile and stood before me, coming up to my chest. "Big cat" was an understatement.

"You are not telling us the full truth, Dravina."

"Physcic now Drunor?"

He growled, his breath hitting my face. It smelled like it freshest kill. "Iron Sickness weakens and kills us. Your wounds are consistant with Iron Sickness, yet here you are, standing before us, completely healed. Not even a scar or a pretty red hair missing from that head of yours...you claim you escaped alone. How is this possible then, Dravina?"

I starred into Drunor's violet eyes and spoke the truth I barely was able to grasp myself. "My eyes turned blue... I summoned the Life Stream despite the iron surrounding me... and I killed them. Then slept during the day and survived the sun..."

The Council was silent. Dead silent. Drunor's eyes widdened then he turned towards Drake.

Slowly, Drake moved to stand infront of me, towering over me but I felt unafraid. "Your eyes turned blue..." He turned away and paced for what seemed like an eternity. Back and forth, back and forth, over and over.

Ra got to his feet and roared, "for the Goddess's sake, speak!"

Drake stopped, his back turned towards me. "Dravina... you consorted with humans... you allowed yourself to be seen and captured... no doubt you gave away our secrets and dreamed up this fantasy to cover your guilt. I sentence you to death by the sun at the nearest sunrise..."

Before I knew what was happening, Drunor threw Ra aside with one swipe of his paw then tackled me and my world went black...
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