POST HERE to have YOUR Midlife Crisis Foretold! Zero Down Payment Until January 2012!

[LilHinataGirl]

Do it
Sticky!!
I'm trusting you here!!

[The Second Pornkage]

Originally Posted by mrsticky005

I'll tell you exactly what happened and how:

To understand The Rise and Decline of The Second Pornkage
we must travel back in time to THE LAND BEFORE PORN.

Yes, there was once such a land in which porn did not exist.
Nor was there fan service. There was however windmills.
However windmills seldom satisfy the libido of the human species.
Human sexuality I'm afraid had yet to be invented.

You might be wondering. How then were babies born?
What a silly question. They come from a stork.
But alas NOT as a gift. No. No! NO!!
These babies were a valuable commodity.
$50000000000000000000000000000 a pop!
Babies were expensive because of they were highly skilled workers.
However over time the storks start selling lower quality babies.
These babies were lazier and cried more but since the
storks had no competition they had a complete monopoly.
Nothing could be done to stop these Rockafellas

Nothing until one brilliant man came along:

The FIRST Pornkage

Using only tinsel, WD-30 (it was cheaper) and Hippo Silk
Human Sexuality was invented and it was a lot cheaper
so much so that it put the Storks completely out of business.
Now there was a new baby maker in town.
And all the towns folk shouted with glee.

But not everyone was so pleased.
The Mayor of the town who had been
bought by Stork Dollars knew his time would
end with the Storks gone. Unless...He got rid of a certain someone.
That would be The First Pornkage in case I have to explain.

The First Pornkage received a letter that read:
Come alone to Death Mountain at 13:00 on Friday the 13th.
Do not tell anyone you are coming. Be sure to bring a large
trash bag. Particularly one that can fit a human corpse.
Murderously Yours,
No one in Particular

So the First Pornkage thought "Seems safe enough" and went.
It was a foggy day and the only eye witness who's name
is to be unnamed as so to protect the innocent had this to say

'Alloa mah name's Bacon y'hur an days sawz dat poh
First Barnkage... First Polkakage First Porn Coccoa??
What ev' da name is. 'Eh t'was drupped offs the cliffeses."

But by whom!?

Wells if ye lemma foonish my letter I'd tullya it was

THE SECOND PORNKAGE

And so from that day The Second Pornkage ruled
the Kingdom of Naughty Naughty Land
and there was a great shadow of despair.

Several years later

The Second Pornkage visits Death Mountain

"Now that I have the world in the palm of my hand
I have you to thank. Yes, you, First Pornkage."

"In that case YOUR WELCOME! Punch!!!" Said the First Pornkage

but how could you be alive said the second Pornkage

"You forgot your quote marks" the first pornkage said

"My bad" said The Second Pornkage "But why did you say Punch?"

And then The Second Pornkage was defeated in one blow.

And The First Pornkage wept. For he had killed his only student.

...That's the most beautiful thing I've ever read. I write stories about the Second Pornkage sometimes, and The First Pornkage is unbelievably like the one in the story. Not to mention the dramatic confrontation that leaves viewers on the edge of their seats. This accuracy frightens me and makes me at the same time.

[Ryuuko]

I have a good feeling about this.

[mrsticky005]

Originally Posted by Rouge Uchiha18

Um... 0.o

You want to hear your midlife crisis?

No?

Well guess what you're going to anyways!

Your midlife crisis is pretty bad. I mean REALLY bad.
I don't think I should even say what your midlife crisis is.
In fact I won't say what it is unless you really want to know
but I don't think you really do because it's REALLY REALLY bad.
I mean I feel bad just knowing how bad it is and that's bad.
But don't worry it could be worse, couldn't it? Of course it couldn't
because your midlife crisis is the worst it could possibly get.
No it's the worst it could impossibly get. I bet this is making
you really curious as to what your midlife crisis. Heck if
I didn't know how bad your midlife crisis I would want
to know but since I do know how bad it is I wish I didn't
know because it's just that bad. But again if you want
to know just let me know. But don't say I didn't warn you.

Because it's bad.

Originally Posted by LilHinataGirl

Do it
Sticky!!
I'm trusting you here!!

Your midlife crisis is putting all of your rep savings
into what appears be a legit organization
but actually turns out to be the biggest scam the forum has ever known.

Incidentally would you be interested in putting all of your
rep savings into the Federal Wooster Reserve?
You will get a free* sincere form letter thanking you for
your naive generosity.

Originally Posted by Ryuuko

I have a good feeling about this.

I do. But you shouldn't. Why? Because I don't have your midlife
crisis. Why should you not have a good feeling? Because if I
were you I'd have a bad feeling about your midlife crisis.
Thankfully I'm not you. But speaking of you here is your
midlife crisis which is much worse than my midlife crisis.

Now this is a story all about how
Your life got flipped, turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute, just sit right
there
I'll tell you how You became the princess of
a town called Bel-Air

[verse 2]
In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground is where you spent most
of your days
Chillin' out, maxin, relaxin all cool,
And all shootin some b'ball outside of
the school
When a couple of guys, who were up to
no good
Started making trouble in your neighborhood
You got in one little fight and your mom got
scared
And said "You're moving
with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air"
You Begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed your suitcase and sent you on your way
She gave you a kiss and then she gave you
your ticket
you put your walkman on and said you
might as well kick it
[verse 3]
First class yo this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne
glass
Is this what the people of Bel-Air live like?
Hmm this might be alright
But wait you hear a prissy, booze, wine all that
Is this the type of place that they should send
this cool cat
You don't think so, you'll see when you get there
You hope they're prepared for the princess of
Bel-Air
[verse 4]
Well ah the plane landed and when you
came out
There was a dude, looked like a cop,
standing there with my name out
you aint trying to get arrested yet you just got
here
you sprang with the quickness like lightning
disappeared
you whistled for a cab and when it came
near
The license plate said FRESH and had
dice in the mirror
If anything you can say that cab was rare
But you thought nah forget it "Yo home to
Bel-Air!"

[verse 5]
You pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And you yelled to the cabby "Yo homes
smell ya later"
You looked at your kingdom you were finally
there
To sit on my throne as the Princess of Bel-Air

Then you realize your actually in North Korea and the
taxi drove away with your passport.

and the "Prince" is a bowl of malicious porridge.

[Bacon]

Originally Posted by mrsticky005

Your crisis is being delicious and high in cholesterol .

w8

dat'z all i get D:

[LilHinataGirl]

I think I'll save my reps in my closet ~

[Luna Mikazuki]

Hoohoo

[Mangetsu Hozuki]

Posting here.