Fantasy Battle Contest: Voting The Winner!

[Naruto321]

Hey guys,

5 People have submitted their hard work of their fantasy battle stories.

They have done their job and now it is your job to vote which one is the best story. Only 3 people can win the contest and the ones who didn't will receive a trophy for their hard work.

Now the users who submitted are:

Cloukora

Spoiler:

http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost...35&postcount=6

LilHinataGirl

Spoiler:

http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost...30&postcount=7

joon61

Spoiler:

http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost...17&postcount=2

trouble88

Spoiler:

http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost...0&postcount=11

pokeruto

Spoiler:

http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost...5&postcount=12

some of their stories are pretty long, so please give in your time to read them so you can properly vote.

RULES

-Do not ask other users to vote for you. If so then the result will be an immediate disqualification.

-Do not post anything other than a discussion about someone else's submission, fail to do so a warning will be given.

-If you have question about the contest, you can ask here: http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showthread.php?t=118237

[LilHinataGirl]

Yay xD I've been waiting for this day!
/tears of joy

Edit: btw love cloukoras story! Good job bro!!

[pokeruto]

@ LilHinata, the vote for yourself won't count in the end. The only reason I'm pointing that out is because I did it too T_T, haha

But what I really wanted to say was I agree. I really wish I could take my vote off and vote for Cloukora. It was really fun and awesome story, and I think he really nailed all the characters that he put in there.

[LilHinataGirl]

Lol yeah as long as I get 2nd place I don't mind I want the poster BADLY!!

But yes he did and I believe his is good! Did you read mine? (:

[pokeruto]

Yes I did. Overall I really liked it.

I thought it was the most professionally written (if that makes sense), and I really liked the relationship between Tetsu and Alice.

To be completely honest, I didn't think the action was gripping enough, but I really liked the concept, especially since it was something original has not been worn out (which happens just too much with fantasy battle, specifically shonen, in my opinion).

Now, what'd you think of mine? If you read it, haha

[LilHinataGirl]

Originally Posted by pokeruto

Yes I did. Overall I really liked it.

I thought it was the most professionally written (if that makes sense), and I really liked the relationship between Tetsu and Alice.

To be completely honest, I didn't think the action was gripping enough, but I really liked the concept, especially since it was something original has not been worn out (which happens just too much with fantasy battle, specifically shonen, in my opinion).

Now, what'd you think of mine? If you read it, haha

Thanks so much !!!

I love writing so it's a habit when I wanna use my words thoroughly !! There relationship will develop more in the the 2nd part and you will defently see more action ... In the 2nd part you find out more on the past of Mimi and micc ... Plus the mysterious control of the fire wielder... I had to keep it up to 5 or 6 characters and there are more characters... Cause of the villains ... But I really appreciate your opinion it makes me happy!!

I will read it now haha (:

[Cloukora]

Originally Posted by LilHinataGirl

Yay xD I've been waiting for this day!
/tears of joy

Edit: btw love cloukoras story! Good job bro!!

Thank you I loved yours too ._. it was very interesting. I WANT MOAR!

Originally Posted by pokeruto

@ LilHinata, the vote for yourself won't count in the end. The only reason I'm pointing that out is because I did it too T_T, haha

But what I really wanted to say was I agree. I really wish I could take my vote off and vote for Cloukora. It was really fun and awesome story, and I think he really nailed all the characters that he put in there.

Thanks, I actually need to read yours and everyone elses ._. It's only right if I vote too xD If I could have added one more character, I would have done a huge boss battle ._. Oh, I didn't know if people knew or not, but Deathstroke is like DC's Deadpool lol. That's why I put both of them in there like that xD

[LilHinataGirl]

@cloukora thanks!!! Hehe I'm gonna make more tomorrow actually n then ima write it on my Facebook haha

[Cloukora]

if you plan on publishing it, make sure to copyright it :P

[LilHinataGirl]

Defently will, hope your one of the first buyers for my book (: lol which I really will make it a hit haha ... (Blames all the story lines and anime cause of my crazy imagination )

[Cloukora]

As long as you buy mine too lol but I will

[pokeruto]

Originally Posted by LilHinataGirl

Thanks so much !!!

I love writing so it's a habit when I wanna use my words thoroughly !! There relationship will develop more in the the 2nd part and you will defently see more action ... In the 2nd part you find out more on the past of Mimi and micc ... Plus the mysterious control of the fire wielder... I had to keep it up to 5 or 6 characters and there are more characters... Cause of the villains ... But I really appreciate your opinion it makes me happy!!

I will read it now haha (:

Yes, with that second part I think it'll be perfect.

And my story was the preliminary version of a story board for a manga series that I want to make.

The final story boards have a lot more characters and plot twists, but I used the preliminary version so that it could fit into the contest conditions. I also had to convert it from dialogue to narrative, so my prose might be pretty bad, . I'm looking for an artist, since I can't really draw, but I'm hoping to at least make a good one-shot.

[LilHinataGirl]

@cloukora hell yeah!!
@poke I got kinda lazy but to tell you the truth it had a very professional touch on it and I believe if you did a little more you could be a very talented author!

[pokeruto]

Originally Posted by LilHinataGirl

@cloukora hell yeah!!
@poke I got kinda lazy but to tell you the truth it had a very professional touch on it and I believe if you did a little more you could be a very talented author!

Thank you so much ! It means a lot having it come from someone with such great writing.

I wish more people entered this contest, though. It would have been even more fun.

[LilHinataGirl]

@poke a lot of people did but they forgot to write and ended up forgetting sadly I was one but I did a fast in thought story and made it in less then a day with a short plot in mind.

[Maikeru D. Shinigami]

I considered entering, but it seemed like it would be unfair. That and I have a lot of time that I have to focus on college.

[LilHinataGirl]

Ah ah I see...

[Maikeru D. Shinigami]

Cloukora: The battle itself was good, but other parts of your story irked me. There were a couple spots where you used run on sentences or mixed up past and present tense. The final battle, while interesting, was sort of anti-climatic. The idea of fighting those four was interesting, but they all seemed to be defeated too easily. I was however interested that you let Sakairith get the final kill. One thing I want to ask though, what was the plot? I know there were zombies and trying to take over the Earth, but it still felt like it could have used more.

[trouble88]

Cloukora was pretty unlike my which kind of bad. honestly this my first writing fantasy battle like story.

[Maikeru D. Shinigami]

LilHinataGirl: You have an interesting story, I will say that now. However, the way you present the story makes it sort of confusing. Not because of the story itself but the way you structure your sentences and paragraphs. There were times were I had to reread to figure out what was happening to who, who was doing what or who was saying what. I understood it in the end, but it could be improved. One thing I would recommend is to separate your paragraphs so that only one person says something in each paragraph. I would also recommend that when you have more than two people in a scene that you call them by their names instead of 'he' or 'she'. You didn't really get enough time to have the characters sink home for me, but it could be an interesting story and I like the set up for the next chapter.


joon61: Yours is too long for me to read right now. I want to commend you on putting in the effort to make it that long though. I can tell that you really tried to make something good. I might try to read it later on, but for now, I think it's only fair for me to give you a thumbs up and give you credit for doing as much as you did.