Mail Monday #2

[Shikamaru Nara]

Welcome to Mail Monday #2.

Before I answer any questions, I'll just let you know that I received 5 questions this week but I wanted to spice it up with a variety, so I'm not using two of them today. But I may use them in future editions. I'm trying to include the advice ones because it seems more urgent. Not ones about me, personally, although I am flattered.

Today I have three questions for you guys. If you don't know what this is about, I'll give you a short summary.

Spoiler:

Mail Monday is a weekly thing I'm going to be doing when people submit questions to me about their personal life, seek advice, or ask general questions. Mail Monday questions will all be sent to me via PM and a few questions/queries will be answered to every Monday, as well as a few miscellaneous other threads throughout the week to make things more interesting. (Assuming it can get its own section.)

Anyway, you don't care, I know. Now, to the questions.

This question has been heavily edited for the sake of anonymity.

Originally Posted by MailMondayBot

Anywayyyyyyyyyyy... This isn't really a question but more of a venting thing. My crummy cant-teach-for-her-life philosophy teacher cant teach for her life. The first day, she just kept rambling on and was confusing us all on the subject. Felt like I've learned nothing so far. But, she has taught a bit better in the last few days, which is a miracle. But the thing is(I guess this is the question part), I can't seem to take her seriously when she lectures. I guess the morning class makes it worse too. Any tips on how to take her more seriously and focus more in class?

Okay, this is sort of long, and I know the person didn't ask for advice in all of these sections, but I'm going to give it anyway. Maybe they did. I just kinda wanna say a couple things.

Anyways, part one. Your philosophy teacher rambling is not uncommon. It's philosophy. As for the confusion, have you tried talking to her after class? Maybe she can help you understand something that was confusing. Although it may sound nerdy and gay to go for "extra help," nobody will know, and it helps you out. As much as you hate her, that won't change that if you fail the class it will screw you over. Go for the extra help, tell her what you want to know, and I'm sure she will be more than happy to help you understand the content. (You didn't mention if she had any grudges or anything.)

Taking her more seriously is a matter of respect. To be quite honest, you don't need to like your teacher. However, you need to respect her. Take a walk in her shoes. I don't know how many kids are in your class, but let's say it's 25. I'm assuming you're in college so this is a professor. Even better. You need to try to understand that she's trying to vocalize something that is tough to vocalize; philosophy. Not only that, but she's doing it in front of people. Maybe it's her first year, maybe her lesson plan wasn't thorough enough so she had to come up with things as she went. There are a number of things that could go wrong. Maybe she's just nervous. Maybe she really sucks at teaching. But what I want you to take into account is this. Could you get up there and do what she's doing, better than she's doing it? Answer this to yourself honestly, and hopefully you will see her in a new light and will respect and be able to take her a little more seriously, with a little bit more patience.

It's a morning class you say? Do what you did in grade school to focus. If you want my advice? Wake up well before class, take a shower to clear your mind and loosen your muscles, eat a healthy breakfast, (a bowl of blueberries, a waffle, OJ, and a couple slices of bacon. Something simple but healthy.) and head to class. You will feel happy, rejuvenated, and ready to learn. Also, it's not middle school when you need to text your Mom because you forgot your lunch bag. Put the phone down, leave it at home, and don't use it during class. It's a big distraction. Focus on the teacher, no matter how much you hate it. Perhaps you're getting confused because you're using your phone in class?

PLEASE SEND ME A FOLLOW UP TO THIS. I enjoyed answering your letter and I wanna see what my advice did to help you. I look forward to a follow up. I might feature it on here again. But either way, please try my advice and send a follow up. ^_^

Next question.

Originally Posted by EXPUNGED

Why won't the hooker buried under my house die?

Sorry man.
Well, you can try to get her out, kill her, and then bury her again. Maybe she'll die then.

Neeeeeext.

Originally Posted by MailMondayBot

Hey man, I've got a problem.

I'm scrawny, weak, little, and I need help.

I would consider myself a fairly good looking kid, but I'm not a knockout. I'm going into 8th grade and at the end of the year there is an 8th grade dance.

I need to get stronger over the summer.

I'm about 5 feet tall, scrawny, not very built, I have pimples, and I don't know how to talk to girls, let alone ask them out.

So, Shika, can you help me? I want to be able to ask out this girl I like by then and impress her. Teach me how to talk to this girl, look good, and get rid of the damn pimples on my face.

Duuuuuuuuuude. First off, I love you. You represent the average kid on the internet. This is well written, down to earth, and a modest letter. Couldn't pass over it. Yes, I will help you.

For the pimples. I actually have/had pimples. That's a really easy fix. Wash your face with soap and water two times a day with soap and water. All over, regardless of where you have the pimples. This will help remove the oils in your skin and the dirt, which is essentially what pimples are. Infected and dirty skin. If that doesn't work, I went out to the store to actually see what would work, and I bought them, and used it on myself. Go to your local Walgreens or whatever and pick up some Clean and Clear advantage 3 in 1 exfoliating cleaner and Clean and Clear advantage acne spot treatment. I swear to you, this crap works. Sometimes people react differently to certain products though, so don't be discouraged if it doesn't work. There are tons of face washes in the sea. But if you go shopping for a different one, MAKE SURE IT DOESN'T HAVE OIL IN IT. AT ALL.

To get stronger? Easy. Go to your local Modell's, pick up two five pound weights, buy them, go home with them, and do 30 reps of arm curls for each arm, in three sets of ten. Do 100 or so sit ups a day. Then, once your body is accustomed to all of that, change and add to your workout. By the end of the Summer, I'm sure you will have some muscle to show off. Also, I'm assuming you're young, so puberty + workouts = muscles. Don't get discouraged and always perservere through a workout! If you quit, you'll slump into not doing it again. Also, try to drink some milk and eat some meat right after your workout to build that muscle with the proteins and calcium.

As for talking to girls, you've come to the right place.

No matter how good looking you are, if you have the slightest bit of charm, a girl will want to talk to you. Be confident, but don't be a dick. Tease her, but don't go over the top. That's step one. Get her to like you.

Getting her to like you, however, is not liking what she likes. Opposites attract. But don't dislike what she likes because you guys need some stuff in common.

Make sure that even if there's some sort of faux pas, you don't panic, keep cool, and brush it off like it doesn't matter. Act stronger than you are. Make sure she knows that if she's your girl she will be safe and you will protect her, even if she's being attacked by an 8 foot behemoth.

Also, befriend her of course, BUT DO NOT GET FRIEND ZONED. If you don't know what friend zoning is, it's basically when you're moved out of the crush zone, and put into the "I like you but I would never tap that" zone. You wanna be somewhere in between. Why? Because if she likes you too much, she will be afraid to talk to you, but if she just wants to be friends, you won't get the girl. It's a once you go black you never go back sort of thing.

And yeah, be confident and I promise you will get the girl. ^_^ Just don't give up buddy. You seem like a good kid.

[Luna Mikazuki]

Too long didn't read but from reading the first couple of sentences I like this.

[Shikamaru Nara]

Lawl, thanks Luna.
btw, reminds me, gotta add the poll.

[TheIndigoFang]

This is amazing!!

[Shikamaru Nara]

Daaamn, you read fast.

[TheIndigoFang]

Hell yeah I do!

[The 1st Hokage]

I can help with the "scrawny, weak, little" person bulk up. I'm damn good with workout and meal regiments. I helped my friend drop 15 pounds of fat and then gain 3 pounds of muscle cause he followed exactly what I told him to do.

[Shikamaru Nara]

I hope this gets the same attention it did last time.

@First: I know you told me.

[TheIndigoFang]

It will. I like it better than the first one.

[The 1st Hokage]

Originally Posted by Shikamaru Nara

I hope this gets the same attention it did last time.

@First: I know you told me.

I did? When? Did I tell you I was black too?

[Shikamaru Nara]

Originally Posted by TheIndigoFang

It will. I like it better than the first one.

I thought the first one was better because of the last question.

Originally Posted by The 1st Hokage

I did? When? Did I tell you I was black too?

You're a REDNECK.

[TheIndigoFang]

well, there both good.

[The 1st Hokage]

Originally Posted by Shikamaru Nara

I thought the first one was better because of the last question.



You're a REDNECK.

But to the first 2 questions? I did? When?

[Kyūbi no Yōko]

Third answer : the best.

I don't really follow rules and it's not really hard to get a chick but that was helpful.
You could also use these tips :

• Be romantic (send her flowers, good songs, love songs and whatnot)
• Be funny (girls love boys that make them laugh)
• Send her stuff that she loves.
• Don't bore her by talking all day about you, let her talk.
• Share secrets.
• If she friendzones you, walk out, ignore her. She's going to come back by herself, you don't need to try

[Shikamaru Nara]

I like your answer to the friendzone thing lol.

[Kyūbi no Yōko]

It actually works. She will miss you and slowly you'll become 'friends' again, this time, you will have another chance to get her, just try escaping the friendzone.

[Jonesy]

Too long.

I'll try reading it when I start dying of boredom.

[king kakashi]

i still love these

[Wooster]

I wish the hooker question was more fleshed out..

[zerosameri]

For the pimples. I actually have/had pimples. That's a really easy fix. Wash your face with soap and water two times a day with soap and water. All over, regardless of where you have the pimples. This will help remove the oils in your skin and the dirt, which is essentially what pimples are. Infected and dirty skin. If that doesn't work, I went out to the store to actually see what would work, and I bought them, and used it on myself. Go to your local Walgreens or whatever and pick up some Clean and Clear advantage 3 in 1 exfoliating cleaner and Clean and Clear advantage acne spot treatment. I swear to you, this crap works. Sometimes people react differently to certain products though, so don't be discouraged if it doesn't work. There are tons of face washes in the sea. But if you go shopping for a different one, MAKE SURE IT DOESN'T HAVE OIL IN IT. AT ALL.

BS, I had terrible ache, like "I am not even going to kiss you" bad"

1)Hot water opens pores, so get like a hot towel or something before you use some ache cleaner.
2)Use dat ache cleaner
3)Hot rag to da face
4) DON'T TOUCH YOUR GOD DAMN FACE

or if your lazy like I was

1) Get some Oil Absorbing sheets. They are cheap, like 2 bucks for 50. Maybe cheaper
2) Get some extra strong spot treatment and put that all over.

OR

1)Clean your skin very well
2)Clean your hands
3)Get some cleaning alcohol and clean the zit and area around it
4)POP it
5)Clean it up and move to the next

they will be gone by the next day.
All of the good food is bad for your skin, so try and avoid that.

Edit: Get Biore if they are nasty.