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Old 12-07-2010, 09:40 AM   #41
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Default Re: To Reach the Sky...

Yeah lol xD

I'm going to put the first chapter up soon, I have the required characters named to do so
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Old 12-07-2010, 09:46 AM   #42
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Default Re: To Reach the Sky...

Another Text Wall, I presume, lol, I'll see if I stray from it, though if anything, I would try not to any way.

Possibly would give you blunt input, depending on my mood, though, I will try not to do that, I don't want to any way, already made quite a few enemies today, something, I ain't too thrilled over, don't want to make an enemy out of you too.
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Old 12-07-2010, 09:49 AM   #43
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Default Re: To Reach the Sky...

i want to be the assassin XDDD
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Old 12-07-2010, 09:49 AM   #44
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Default Re: To Reach the Sky...

It's ok, you can give me feedback, I know whatever you say will be constructive critisism, not just being mean xD
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Old 12-07-2010, 09:50 AM   #45
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Default Re: To Reach the Sky...

Quote:
Originally Posted by PanCake View Post
i want to be the assassin XDDD
Want me to use PanCake or Sagemaster
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Old 12-07-2010, 09:51 AM   #46
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Default Re: To Reach the Sky...

Quote:
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It's ok, you can give me feedback, I know whatever you say will be constructive critisism, not just being mean xD
Well, considering the half a post I just read, in another Thread, I am not going to...... All directed personally at me.
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Old 12-07-2010, 09:52 AM   #47
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Want me to use PanCake or Sagemaster
sagemaster and can he be perverted ;D its wat i am
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Old 12-07-2010, 03:57 PM   #48
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Chapter One - A Broken World

The dead bodies of government officers lay strewn across the floor of a large room covering the floor, save a clear path made through them. They were once alive filled with the determination to stop the dragon that threatened to open their underground world up to the sky. It was not yet time. Though hundreds of years had passed since mankind was forced underground by an ecological disaster of their own creation in a war many years ago, it was not yet time. Many feared that the danger they had left on the surface might still be thriving and would seep into their world if even the tiniest crack was made in the gate that closed them off from the outside. If that were to happen mankind would truly have no-where to go. SilentShino stood silently as if in mediation before the lever that would open the underground world up to the sky once again. As he stood there he could feel Matsuro's power coursing threw him like a raging river of fire.

Several meters away a young officer stood terrified at the sight of the dragon. SilentShino unconsciously glared at him. "Must I destroy you too?" He asked himself mournfully. He did not enjoy killing the officers or their captains that now lay dead at his feet, but what choice did he have? The boy gasped, dropping his sword as he ran away. SilentShino turned his attention back to the lever and sighed.

"Why do you hesitate?" Matsuro’s voice asked with in the young SilentShino’s mind. "Why do you hesitate?" Matsuro asked again his voice booming in the young mans head causing him to cringe in pain.

"I can’t." He replied out loud as a tear fell from his right eye.

"Why?" Matsuro demanded his voice softer now. "Is because you are afraid?"

SilentShino hesitated to answer. "It wouldn’t be right. I…"

"After all you, no, we, have sacrificed to get here? The path to the sky lies just beyond the gate above you."

SilentShino looked from the lever up to the final gate that leads to the surface. He then slowly lowered his head as tears came once again. Looking around at the destruction he had caused with his own hands, with the help of Matsuro's power. "I’ve killed so many." He said to himself as he placed his hand on the lever.

"Mankind is not worthy of seeing the sky."

"How can you say such a thing?" Matsuro demanded as SilentShino looked out into the open space but saw nothing but the bodies of those whose lives he had ended.

"That is why you hesitate? You have no faith in mankind to take care of something so precious, when you yourself have been able to so easily disregard life?"

"But they were trying to kill me." SilentShino protested as tears streamed from his eyes.

"Yes! So you had no choice! You would rather not have killed those officers. Is that true?" Matsuro asked.

"I…"

"SilentShino, you had to do something about them. You honestly had no choice." Matsuro said as he felt SilentShino faltering.

"But I rather not have killed them." SilentShino replied as he looked upon the mutilated bodies that filled the room.

"If you had let them go, they would have attacked some other time. Just like before, it wasn’t that long ago. Do you mean you have already forgotten?" Matsuro asked SilentShino.

Yes, it was only a week ago that SilentShino had stopped to rest in Mid-district. He had found a secluded spot and hoped that no one would bother him as he lay down to rest for a while. No sooner had he closed his eyes did a bullet hit the ground just centimeters from his face. The bullet had been fired from the gun of an officer whose life he had spared. That was the first time he had killed someone.
"Yes, I remember." SilentShino replied.

"I could sense him coming but I ignored it. I assumed it was just a rat or something." SilentShino thought. "Was that truly what I wanted, to kill him, them, because they were blocking the path to the sky… because they were getting in my way?"

"SilentShino!" Matsuro’s voice shouted in the young mans mind. "SilentShino!" The dragon repeated.

"I hear you Matsuro and I know what you are going to say, but I can't, I won't open the sky up to mankind. We don’t deserve to see daylight ever again." SilentShino softly declared as he lowered his head. "I'm sorry Matsuro."

Matsuro fell silent at the young mans words and slowly cut his link with him. SilentShino shivered as Matsuros' warmth left his body. He could no longer feel the power of the dragon inside him and it left him feeling cold.

The room seemed chillier to him than it actually was. He had grown so used to the fiery aura of Matsuro that the warmth of the room seemed cold to him.

Suddenly the young man stopped shivering and stood up. He did not feel warm or cold, his body felt numb except for the slight course of electricity he could feel moving through his body in short pulses.

Then he recognized the feeling of Matsuros' power…was the dragon reconnecting with him? No, Matsuros' prolonged presence had left a fragment of his power inside SilentShino which now without Matsuro holding it in check broke free and transformed SilentShino into his previous human/dragon hybrid, but it was not quite the same…it was weaker than before without Matsuros' actual presence.

Surveying the dozens of dead bodies that lay bleeding, filling the area with the musty smell of death, SilentShino felt a slight sympathy in his heart, but nothing like that grief before that would have caused to mourn their deaths for hours and soon cost him his sanity. No, he did not feel too much of anything.

SilentShino used Matsuros' powers to dissolve the remains of the officers into nothing. Not even a blood stain could be seen after a wave of what appeared to be electricity covered the floor and filled the room.

"Now" SilentShino said looking upward, after surveying the now empty room. "I will rebuild what I have broken."
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Old 12-07-2010, 04:02 PM   #49
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Default Re: To Reach the Sky...

as I was suppose to go to town already, I check first in this thread to read Chapter One-- Nice One Dude//

But now im really late, got to go.

PS: keep up the good work.
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Feed me some negative reps
no reverse psychology please

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Old 12-07-2010, 04:02 PM   #50
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ill be the feminine dude then
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Old 12-07-2010, 04:14 PM   #51
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Default Re: To Reach the Sky...

@RS - Thanks

@Lol - Okies
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Old 12-07-2010, 04:38 PM   #52
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Name- N/A
Age- 25
Role- Supporting
Gender- Female
Bio- The lone female member of the generals, has clearer vision of the future than (22yr old general), believes that power rankings should be used to determine everything, has some magical powers.
Appearance- Wears a dress and has black hair.
claims!!!
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Old 12-07-2010, 04:49 PM   #53
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Default Re: To Reach the Sky...

Only four spots left now
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Old 12-07-2010, 04:53 PM   #54
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interesting.
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Old 12-07-2010, 04:57 PM   #55
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Default Re: To Reach the Sky...

Are you going to choose a character Storm? o_o
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Old 12-07-2010, 10:21 PM   #56
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Default Re: To Reach the Sky...

We can be part of this story!? Awesome.
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Old 12-07-2010, 10:22 PM   #57
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Default Re: To Reach the Sky...

Yeap, there are four spots left
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Old 12-08-2010, 12:00 AM   #58
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george hyuga just might be Kage someday.
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Default Re: To Reach the Sky...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rasen_Chidori View Post
Bella added

@lolohwd - Added, but if you want, the 21yr old general with the steel claws is slightly perverted
it fits me since i can be some what perverted
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Old 12-08-2010, 12:58 AM   #59
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Default Re: To Reach the Sky...

I read Chapter One through the first time, believe it or not, lol.

I found one spelling mistake, throw should be through, in fourth or fifth from the bottom.

I found it intruging, on how the Character has separate personalities as such, divided between what is right and wrong. So overall, I like how it is starting.
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Last edited by Throw Rasen-Shuriken; 12-08-2010 at 04:41 AM.
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Old 12-08-2010, 04:06 AM   #60
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Default Re: To Reach the Sky...

Quote:
The dead bodies of government officers lay strewn across the floor of a large room covering the floor, save a clear path made through them. They were once alive filled with the determination to stop the dragon that threatened to open their underground world up to the sky. It was not yet time. Though hundreds of years had past since mankind was forced underground by an ecological disaster of their own creation in a war many years ago, it was not yet time. Many feared that the danger they had left on the surface might still be thriving and would seep into their world if even the tiniest crack was made in the gate that closed them off from the outside. If that were to happen mankind would truly have no-where to go. SilentShino stood silently as if in mediation before the lever that would open the underground world up to the sky once again. As he stood there he could feel Matsuro's power coursing threw him like a raging river of fire.

Several meters away a young officer stood terrified at the sight of the dragon. SilentShino unconsciously glared at him. "Must I destroy you too?" He asked himself mournfully. He did not enjoy killing the officers or their captains that now lay dead at his feet, but what choice did he have? The boy gasped, dropping his sword as he ran away. SilentShino turned his attention back to the lever and sighed.
There's a mistake it should say passed
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