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Old 08-16-2010, 08:33 AM   #1
NarutoxSakura4ever
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Default I'm Sorry

This is a poem that I wrote last night, I don't know maybe it's not really a poem! So anyway, please tell me what you think and no it doesn't apply to anyone I just wrote it! Anyway here is goes, (Oh and please tell me if I should move this if I have this in the wrong area!)

I'm sorry for hurting you time and time again,
I'm sorry for not being good enough,
I'm sorry for constantly putting myself before you,
For being so selfish,
I'm sorry we couldn't last,
I'm sorry that you had to put up with,
This immature little girl
I'm sorry for causing you to fall for me,
I'm sorry for not keeping my promises to you,
I'm sorry for being so weak,
I'm sorry for making you cry,
I'm sorry for that no matter what, I can never be with you...
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Old 08-16-2010, 09:45 AM   #2
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Default Re: I'm Sorry

On one hand, the poem seems to be a good reflection of what you as the author felt at the time, and therefore it serves its purpose.

On the other hand, it's waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too depressing for my tastes. Maybe you should try writing about happy things?

Kitties and daisies and cupcakes and cuddles and friends... these are happy, physical subjects. Rejection, failure, lonliness, selfishness, weakness, and tears; these are depressing. So, while it may be good poetry, it's not my personal favorite.

As a writer, I prefer to write haiku. That way I can depict vast subjects that are normally impossible to describe within the confines of the english language. It's the format that helps create a more open-ended feeling. If you like writing, I reccomend it.
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Old 08-16-2010, 09:47 AM   #3
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Default Re: I'm Sorry

Wow, I just made a poem thread too. Btw, good poetry, I'm going to rep you for a good poem.
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Old 08-16-2010, 05:27 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by Shikamaru Nara View Post
Wow, I just made a poem thread too. Btw, good poetry, I'm going to rep you for a good poem.
Thanks! ^_^
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Old 08-16-2010, 05:28 PM   #5
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Default Re: I'm Sorry

Quote:
Originally Posted by ItachiAnbu View Post
On one hand, the poem seems to be a good reflection of what you as the author felt at the time, and therefore it serves its purpose.

On the other hand, it's waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too depressing for my tastes. Maybe you should try writing about happy things?

Kitties and daisies and cupcakes and cuddles and friends... these are happy, physical subjects. Rejection, failure, lonliness, selfishness, weakness, and tears; these are depressing. So, while it may be good poetry, it's not my personal favorite.

As a writer, I prefer to write haiku. That way I can depict vast subjects that are normally impossible to describe within the confines of the english language. It's the format that helps create a more open-ended feeling. If you like writing, I reccomend it.
Okay then, next time I'll try making a happy one then!
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Old 08-16-2010, 05:33 PM   #6
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Default Re: I'm Sorry

*Claps* Good poem Narisa-chan.
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Old 08-16-2010, 05:34 PM   #7
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Default Re: I'm Sorry

Thank you. It kind of just came to me...! ^_^
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Old 08-16-2010, 05:37 PM   #8
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Default Re: I'm Sorry

Quote:
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Thank you. It kind of just came to me...! ^_^
Really? I hope you write more poems Sis.
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Old 08-16-2010, 05:38 PM   #9
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Default Re: I'm Sorry

Yeah I will.
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Old 08-16-2010, 06:04 PM   #10
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Default Re: I'm Sorry

Wats going on sis liked the poem. But you will never catch me apologise. Wanna hear mine.

(clears throat)
When you look at me wrong I will stab you.
When you bump in to me without apologizing I will stab you.
When you cut in front of me in line I will stab you.
When you think about disrespecting me I will stab you.
I will stab you.

Tell me what you think .
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Old 08-16-2010, 06:06 PM   #11
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Default Re: I'm Sorry

Quote:
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Wats going on sis liked the poem. But you will never catch me apologise. Wanna hear mine.

(clears throat)
When you look at me wrong I will stab you.
When you bump in to me without apologizing I will stab you.
When you cut in front of me in line I will stab you.
When you think about disrespecting me I will stab you.
I will stab you.

Tell me what you think .
Very violent...! Lol
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Old 08-16-2010, 06:12 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RealNinja View Post
Wats going on sis liked the poem. But you will never catch me apologise. Wanna hear mine.

(clears throat)
When you look at me wrong I will stab you.
When you bump in to me without apologizing I will stab you.
When you cut in front of me in line I will stab you.
When you think about disrespecting me I will stab you.
I will stab you.

Tell me what you think .
I am getting this hint that you...like to stab people? Lol
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Old 08-16-2010, 06:13 PM   #13
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Default Re: I'm Sorry

You know I tried to be good but I keep getting derepped and infractions. Now I dont care. From now on I am going to walk that thin line from being banned and not being banned.
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Old 08-16-2010, 06:27 PM   #14
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Default Re: I'm Sorry

Quote:
Originally Posted by Leaf/Mist Shinobi250 View Post
I am getting this hint that you...like to stab people? Lol
Ding Ding!
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Old 08-16-2010, 07:53 PM   #15
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Default Re: I'm Sorry

Hey Hey Hey I do not only those who have it coming to them. I dont stab fam.
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Old 08-16-2010, 08:51 PM   #16
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Default Re: I'm Sorry

Oh okay! XD
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Old 08-17-2010, 02:27 AM   #17
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Thumbs up, very beautiful :3
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Old 08-17-2010, 03:10 AM   #18
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Nice :]

Sounds like its about Sakura xD
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Old 08-17-2010, 06:28 PM   #19
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Thumbs up, very beautiful :3
Thank you!

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Nice :]

Sounds like its about Sakura xD
Thank you too!!!
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Old 06-06-2012, 09:34 PM   #20
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Default Re: I'm Sorry

Good poem
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