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Old 07-03-2010, 08:39 PM   #1
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Default The Tale of Steve, Shamurai, and Some Other Guys, Including A Loser Named David

Once upon a time there was a man named Steve. Steve was very stupid. He knew that he lived in Milwaukee, but he did not know what state Milwaukee was in.

Steve went to the museum where he met a very smart lady named Crystal. Crystal informed him that Milwaukee was in fact in Wisconsin.

Steve was content with this information, but he moved to Florida for some reason, and became unaware of the name of his state of residency once again. Because Steve was so stupid, he went to the beach and did not realize that there could be danger involved. He waded out into the water and was attacked by a shark.

The shark started screaming and so did Steve. They were both so shocked by this screaming that they stopped screaming.
"Can you talk?" Steve asked.
"Yes," answered the shark.
"You should go to Sea World and live the life of a star!" Steve said, and with that, Steve and Shamu (coincidentally, the shark's name) were off to Sea World.

At Sea World, Shamu was happy. But then his name got changed. To avoid confusion with some other whale(s?), Shamu was named Shamurai. After a few months Shamurai was no longer content with life as a show performer. He got on a plane and headed to St. Louis.

To be continued...

Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
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Old 07-03-2010, 08:42 PM   #2
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Default Re: The Tale of Steve, Shamurai, and Some Other Guys, Including A Loser Named David

O_____O i fail to see shamurai fits on a plane
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Old 07-03-2010, 08:42 PM   #3
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Default Re: The Tale of Steve, Shamurai, and Some Other Guys, Including A Loser Named David

What in the world, Ho keh?

But.... Milwaukee rocks!!!
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Old 07-03-2010, 08:43 PM   #4
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Default Re: The Tale of Steve, Shamurai, and Some Other Guys, Including A Loser Named David

Quote:
Originally Posted by sakura_blossom View Post
O_____O i fail to see shamurai fits on a plane
Shamurai is a surprising shark.

@Woo: It does, doesn't it? But I really didn't know where it was at first. xD
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Old 07-03-2010, 08:46 PM   #5
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Default Re: The Tale of Steve, Shamurai, and Some Other Guys, Including A Loser Named David

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Shamurai is a surprising shark.

@Woo: It does, doesn't it? But I really didn't know where it was at first. xD
I see. You thought in was in Minnesota didn't you? Everyone does.

Blast! I wish I was there, then I could go to Summerfest.
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Old 07-03-2010, 08:47 PM   #6
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Default Re: The Tale of Steve, Shamurai, and Some Other Guys, Including A Loser Named David

/made me think of this How to be cool
Quote:
hang out w/steve
--
This was funny
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Old 07-03-2010, 08:53 PM   #7
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Default Re: The Tale of Steve, Shamurai, and Some Other Guys, Including A Loser Named David

Part 2:
In St. Louis, Shamurai was walking down the street when he had a run-in with the general manager of the St. Louis Cardinals.
"Well I'll be...a shark that can walk!"
"On my way to America, I learned about something...it's called 'baseball'. Do you have any idea where I can experience this 'baseball'?" Shamurai asked.
"You're on the team," the GM said, "We could use someone with your dexterity!"

In Shamurai's first game he scored 16 home runs. The Cardinals' season was excellent and they won the World Series that year. Shamurai was a hot item on the proverbial shelves of baseball player Walmart when the time came to make draft picks, because Shamurai had become a free agent. In the end, Shamurai was recruited to play baseball in Japan.

Japanese baseball was excellent for Shamurai. He absolutely loved the food in Japan. But one day, Shamurai realized, Oh no, I'm eating my own species! when in fact he was eating fish, and not shark. After all, Shamurai had been raised by Steve. His stupidness rubbed off in the 45 minutes that they were together between Sea World and the beach. Because Shamurai was freaking out, he fled back to America...New York City...

To be continued...
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They are getting away.

HOCKEY! To the BATMOBILE!!!
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IF I AM NEVER SEEN AGAIN TELL LUNA HOCKEY I LOVE HER!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hockey Otaku
/Is sitting right next to you.
Freudian slip? I think so.
Spoiler:
You can consider me to have officially left the forums, however, I do check my messages so I'd love it* if you'd chat me up.*** =D

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Old 07-03-2010, 09:16 PM   #8
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Default Re: The Tale of Steve, Shamurai, and Some Other Guys, Including A Loser Named David

***This is a work of fiction. Any similarity to actual people, living or dead, is purely intentional.***

In New York City, Shamurai made a lunch date with an old archrival, Derek Jeter. But it turned out that Derek wanted something more than a rivalry from Shamurai...he wanted a friendship. Or more accurately, a usership.

Shamurai was signed to Derek's team, the Yankees. The Yankees had an awesome season because of Shamurai, who had a batting average of OVER 9000!!!

The time came to play the game that would decide who would go to that year's World Series. The game featured the New York Yankees versus the Cincinnati Reds. Shamurai scored 1 million runs.

Then, just because Cincinnati thought they could salvage themselves, they decided to kill any shred of dignity they had left. Dusty Baker put in closing pitcher David Weathers with the best intentions.

David obviously could not throw a good pitch to save his life, and the Yankees scored multiple times. Finally Shamurai was up to bat. David knew that he couldn't stop Shamurai from scoring, so he aimed the pitch at Shamurai's head and killed him. The incident later became known as, "The Big Sham."

On the bus home to Cincinnati, the team got mad at David because he lost them the game. They threw him out of the window. "That's how you throw things properly!" Aaron Harang, an awesome pitcher, yelled out the window.

When David awoke in the morning, having fallen asleep where he had fallen off the bus, he realized that he landed on something wooden and stringy. He had never seen such an object before, but David just began walking. He walked and walked and tried to figure out how to use the thing he had found. Fortunately he was on a highway in Indiana, and since there were no exits for about 70 miles, he figured out how to make music with the thing and he stood by the first exit he found and played, looking like a hobo.

One of the people in one of the cars that passed him said, "You're really good, you should go on American Idol." Since David was a former MLB player, he was loaded with cash and happened to have $50,000 in his pocket. He flew to Nashville to audition for American Idol.

TBC.......(TheBlackChidori! Naw just kidding. To be continued. Duh.)
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HOCKEY! To the BATMOBILE!!!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hockey Otaku
/Is sitting right next to you.
Freudian slip? I think so.
Spoiler:
You can consider me to have officially left the forums, however, I do check my messages so I'd love it* if you'd chat me up.*** =D

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Old 07-03-2010, 09:23 PM   #9
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Default Re: The Tale of Steve, Shamurai, and Some Other Guys, Including A Loser Named David

LOLZ, I love the comedic references.
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Old 07-04-2010, 11:42 AM   #10
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Default Re: The Tale of Steve, Shamurai, and Some Other Guys, Including A Loser Named David

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LOLZ, I love the comedic references.
My favorite is David Weathers and his epic fails, which exist in real life. xD

*writes part 4*
At David's American Idol audition, he was first in line due to that fact that he had no life, and he was also not featured on television. David played his mystery instrument for the judges. The judges were confuzzled. Randy said, "Dawg, you are jammin on that guitar, but this is a show about singing and you didn't even sing." Ellen said, "You should come on my show and not sing in the bathroom!" Kara said, "Aren't you that really bad pitcher from the Cincinnati Reds?" and Simon said, "Why am I even still here?"

Needless to say, David did not make it to Hollywood.

He went back home to South Cincinnati Campgrounds in Kentucky and had nothing better to do than swim in the local lake. He decided to train for the Olympics. Luckily, it had just been an Olympic year, so David had 4 whole years to train.

During the year of the Olympics, David snuck onto the Swimming Team's plane, and changed all the documents so that he was on the team. Nobody took any action when they saw the weird guy...Steve was their manager and he was just too stupid to know that David Weathers should not be there.

In the relay race, Jason Lezak went first, Michael Phelps went second, and David was going to be the anchor...he is a closer, after all. Team USA decided that they would simply have less people than the other teams but they would each swim twice as many laps, because they are just that awesome.

Jason and Michael went first and completed their laps with flying colors. David could have easily secured the win...after all, Jason and Michael did all their laps while each other team had a swimmer on his first lap.

But since David is so lame, he got in the pool and was immediately tired. Team USA ended up losing the relay. David didn't even finish the race.

David Weathers was hailed as a national failure.

THE END!
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HOCKEY! To the BATMOBILE!!!
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IF I AM NEVER SEEN AGAIN TELL LUNA HOCKEY I LOVE HER!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hockey Otaku
/Is sitting right next to you.
Freudian slip? I think so.
Spoiler:
You can consider me to have officially left the forums, however, I do check my messages so I'd love it* if you'd chat me up.*** =D

*That is, if we actually know each other.
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Old 07-04-2010, 11:44 AM   #11
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Default Re: The Tale of Steve, Shamurai, and Some Other Guys, Including A Loser Named David

This story reminds me of my childhood.
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Old 07-04-2010, 11:46 AM   #12
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Default Re: The Tale of Steve, Shamurai, and Some Other Guys, Including A Loser Named David

Mine too...I actually had to grow up exposed to the failure of David Weathers. T.T
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They are getting away.

HOCKEY! To the BATMOBILE!!!
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IF I AM NEVER SEEN AGAIN TELL LUNA HOCKEY I LOVE HER!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hockey Otaku
/Is sitting right next to you.
Freudian slip? I think so.
Spoiler:
You can consider me to have officially left the forums, however, I do check my messages so I'd love it* if you'd chat me up.*** =D

*That is, if we actually know each other.
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Old 07-04-2010, 11:48 AM   #13
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Default Re: The Tale of Steve, Shamurai, and Some Other Guys, Including A Loser Named David

I had to grow up exposed to talking sharks.
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Old 07-04-2010, 11:53 AM   #14
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Default Re: The Tale of Steve, Shamurai, and Some Other Guys, Including A Loser Named David

Aww...Were you a Shark Scout? =3
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They are getting away.

HOCKEY! To the BATMOBILE!!!
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/realizes this is a terrible idea.

IF I AM NEVER SEEN AGAIN TELL LUNA HOCKEY I LOVE HER!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hockey Otaku
/Is sitting right next to you.
Freudian slip? I think so.
Spoiler:
You can consider me to have officially left the forums, however, I do check my messages so I'd love it* if you'd chat me up.*** =D

*That is, if we actually know each other.
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Old 07-04-2010, 11:54 AM   #15
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Default Re: The Tale of Steve, Shamurai, and Some Other Guys, Including A Loser Named David

No. I lived in Sea World.
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Old 07-04-2010, 11:55 AM   #16
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Default Re: The Tale of Steve, Shamurai, and Some Other Guys, Including A Loser Named David

Not bad...free fish, you can swim whenever you want...
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HOCKEY! To the BATMOBILE!!!
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IF I AM NEVER SEEN AGAIN TELL LUNA HOCKEY I LOVE HER!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hockey Otaku
/Is sitting right next to you.
Freudian slip? I think so.
Spoiler:
You can consider me to have officially left the forums, however, I do check my messages so I'd love it* if you'd chat me up.*** =D

*That is, if we actually know each other.
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Old 07-04-2010, 11:58 AM   #17
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Default Re: The Tale of Steve, Shamurai, and Some Other Guys, Including A Loser Named David

I'm allergic to water and seafood.
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