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Old 01-14-2010, 06:06 PM   #21
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Default Re: Ohako's story

Chapter 2 The Adventure begins
" Hmm well well i think that everything, looks like it is finally time to move on and leave these mountains...gah." Has he tumbles down the hill Roarke is ready to set out from his home for the past 10 years and return his masters precious katanas. " Gah stupid clogs *laughs to self* i should be careful right master." Roarke sets off to a small village to find information about Ryo. While walking through the forest hears voices and on instinct takes cover behind a tree. " hmm well well what do we have here?" In the clearing there were two men standing one had a broad sword and the other a small battle axe and laying on the ground was a young red headed girl with a spear laying awhiles away. " What?! was this girl fighting them all by" Roark starts to unbuckle his giant sword and lays it on the ground quietly. " Grr i gotta say Clyde this chick was better then i thought." " Yeah Yeah i know, but come on look at the money she was carrying it was worth it she probably would've beat you if i did not step in Tora." "Hmpf i don't care she gotta lucky, but looks like her luck is gone i am going to finish this now!!!
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Old 01-14-2010, 06:09 PM   #22
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Default Re: Ohako's story

This is a very good story Ohako!
^_^ I am going to read it when more chapters come!
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Old 01-14-2010, 06:10 PM   #23
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This is a very good story Ohako!
^_^ I am going to read it when more chapters come!
Hmm o really? thanks ILK if u noticed I slacked of for about three months lol and decided to start it up again
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Old 01-14-2010, 06:13 PM   #24
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Hmm o really? thanks ILK if u noticed I slacked of for about three months lol and decided to start it up again

Yep, I really enjoy your story so far keep writing boy!~ lol XD
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Old 01-14-2010, 06:31 PM   #25
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Yep, I really enjoy your story so far keep writing boy!~ lol XD
Thank You and i will lol
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Old 01-21-2010, 10:41 AM   #26
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Chapter 3: An Ally???
Graaaah!!! Tora swings his axe and the girl with the red hair screams. Ching! "What?!?" "Well well it is not nice to pick on beautiful girls hmm." In the background Clyde thinks to himself..." Wow this guy is good, his speed was amazing and blocked it perfectly well looks like Tora will be finished soon." "Y-you punk you will pay for stepping into someone elses business.. who do you think you are?" "Hmm well the name's Roarke." "What I don't care who you are I did not ask for your name gah i am going to kill the both of y-" Smack! Out of nowhere the handle of spear hits Tora clear across the face and he is sent to the ground knocking his axe out of his hand. "We have not finished our fight yet' yelled the red haired girl. Roarke just stands there amazed. "You i will kill you!!! Tora shouts as he struggles to his feet, but in that short time the red~haired girl already knocked out Tora by hitting him in the back of the head with her spear." "Oh well done indeed but you didn't kill him." said Roarke. "I am in no position to end his life." " Hmm well i was a bit careless well best be on my way." Roarke sheaths his sword and walks over to the tree to get his giant sword. "Wait yelled the girl, I owe you thanks for saving my life and what do you mean you were careless?" "Well, says Roarke, there no need to thank me i was only walking by and decided to join since it was 1 against 2 and his friend escaped meaning there could still be trouble for you so i guess i could escort you to the closest town since i need to go there anyways." "Really??? thank you i will repay you somehow in town and Roarke my name is Meleena.
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Old 01-21-2010, 10:42 AM   #27
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*is wearing the darkest robes you've ever seen, on my hands I'm wearing Silver Steel Gauntlets, I have a hood over my hood hiding my face, but you can still see my Jaw, witch to your surprise it looks like a Jaw bone, over my head is a bright yellow halo, as I walk I leave a trail of blood behind me*
Very good Kun Killer
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What you lookin at? You all a bunch of bleep. You know why? You don't have the guts to be what you wanna be? You need people like me. You need people like me so you can point your bleep fingers and say, "That's the bad guy" So what that make you? Good? You're not good. You just know how to hide, how to lie. Me, I don't have that problem. Me, I always tell the truth. Even when I lie. So say good night to the bad guy!
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Old 01-21-2010, 10:45 AM   #28
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*is wearing the darkest robes you've ever seen, on my hands I'm wearing Silver Steel Gauntlets, I have a hood over my hood hiding my face, but you can still see my Jaw, witch to your surprise it looks like a Jaw bone, over my head is a bright yellow halo, as I walk I leave a trail of blood behind me*
Very good Kun Killer
thanks Rai and interesting description you got there.
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Old 01-21-2010, 10:54 AM   #29
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thanks Rai and interesting description you got there.
Oh Rai, the name from long before, I was killed some time ago, after sometime in the afterlife I became the new Grim Reaper for this part of the Void
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What you lookin at? You all a bunch of bleep. You know why? You don't have the guts to be what you wanna be? You need people like me. You need people like me so you can point your bleep fingers and say, "That's the bad guy" So what that make you? Good? You're not good. You just know how to hide, how to lie. Me, I don't have that problem. Me, I always tell the truth. Even when I lie. So say good night to the bad guy!
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Old 01-21-2010, 09:10 PM   #30
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Default Re: Ohako's story

I had to reply to this first:

Quote:
Originally Posted by kakashi_sempai View Post
it to long i cant read the much
Are you serious? The prologue is 409 words long, how hard is it to read that? I've written double or more of that in messages on MySpace. In fact, I probably did 9 or 10 times just today. These are more like scenes than chapters really.

And I mean that with no offense to Ohako whatsoever, the story is interesting and the organization is better than most on here.
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Old 01-22-2010, 08:24 AM   #31
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lol nice comment and Thank You Maikeru
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Old 01-22-2010, 08:26 AM   #32
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lol nice comment and Thank You Maikeru
Hmmmm
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What you lookin at? You all a bunch of bleep. You know why? You don't have the guts to be what you wanna be? You need people like me. You need people like me so you can point your bleep fingers and say, "That's the bad guy" So what that make you? Good? You're not good. You just know how to hide, how to lie. Me, I don't have that problem. Me, I always tell the truth. Even when I lie. So say good night to the bad guy!
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Old 01-22-2010, 08:45 AM   #33
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Hmmmm
hmm hey Rai i will have a new chapter up later but probably not today
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Old 01-30-2010, 12:10 PM   #34
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good start
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Old 01-31-2010, 12:09 PM   #35
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good start
Thanks Leji i am too busy to write another chapter now but i will soon
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Old 02-01-2010, 05:35 AM   #36
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Quote:
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Chapter 2 The Adventure begins
" Hmm well well i think that everything, looks like it is finally time to move on and leave these mountains...gah." Has he tumbles down the hill Roarke is ready to set out from his home for the past 10 years and return his masters precious katanas. " Gah stupid clogs *laughs to self* i should be careful right master." Roarke sets off to a small village to find information about Ryo. While walking through the forest hears voices and on instinct takes cover behind a tree. " hmm well well what do we have here?" In the clearing there were two men standing one had a broad sword and the other a small battle axe and laying on the ground was a young red headed girl with a spear laying awhiles away. " What?! was this girl fighting them all by" Roark starts to unbuckle his giant sword and lays it on the ground quietly. " Grr i gotta say Clyde this chick was better then i thought." " Yeah Yeah i know, but come on look at the money she was carrying it was worth it she probably would've beat you if i did not step in Tora." "Hmpf i don't care she gotta lucky, but looks like her luck is gone i am going to finish this now!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohako View Post
Chapter 3: An Ally???
Graaaah!!! Tora swings his axe and the girl with the red hair screams. Ching! "What?!?" "Well well it is not nice to pick on beautiful girls hmm." In the background Clyde thinks to himself..." Wow this guy is good, his speed was amazing and blocked it perfectly well looks like Tora will be finished soon." "Y-you punk you will pay for stepping into someone elses business.. who do you think you are?" "Hmm well the name's Roarke." "What I don't care who you are I did not ask for your name gah i am going to kill the both of y-" Smack! Out of nowhere the handle of spear hits Tora clear across the face and he is sent to the ground knocking his axe out of his hand. "We have not finished our fight yet' yelled the red haired girl. Roarke just stands there amazed. "You i will kill you!!! Tora shouts as he struggles to his feet, but in that short time the red~haired girl already knocked out Tora by hitting him in the back of the head with her spear." "Oh well done indeed but you did kill him." said Roarke. "I am in no position to end his life." " Hmm well i was a bit careless well best be on my way." Roarke sheaths his sword and walks over to the tree to get his giant sword. "Wait yelled the girl, I owe you thanks for saving my life and what do you mean you were careless?" "Well, says Roarke, there no need to thank me i was only walking by and decided to join since it was 1 against 2 and his friend escaped meaning there could still be trouble for you so i guess i could escort you to the closest town since i need to go there anyways." "Really??? thank you i will repay you somehow in town and Roarke my name is Meleena.

great chapters o-kun....where'd u get the names from??
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Old 02-01-2010, 01:05 PM   #37
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great chapters o-kun....where'd u get the names from??
Hmm if you mean the bandit's and Meleena they were totally random names i came up with lol or maybe there is some meaning behind them
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Old 02-01-2010, 01:29 PM   #38
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Hmm if you mean the bandit's and Meleena they were totally random names i came up with lol or maybe there is some meaning behind them
lol well they have good names. Cant wait till next chater o~kun
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Old 02-01-2010, 01:31 PM   #39
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Thanks KU but it be awhile till the next chapter i have a essay to write
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Old 02-01-2010, 04:01 PM   #40
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awwww ......alright, good luck with the essay!
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