Thread: Books: The Book Review!
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Old 02-07-2011, 08:11 AM   #34
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Default Re: The Book Review!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wooster View Post
Best review ever!

You must do this for ever chapter. Cliff Notes eat your heart out.

Thanks.


Chapter 2

In this chapter we meet Pip's sister, Mrs. Joe Gargles and her husband Joe Gargles the Blacksmith. It's apparent that Mrs. Joe Gargoyles rather than
Mr. Joe Gargoyles wears the pants in the house. That and an apron.
Mrs. Joe Garbanzo is of course the type of woman that insists on doing
everything and then gripes about it all day so she has an excuse to
beat people who pay her no mind. So she's pretty much like any other
woman over the age of 40. Except I think she's probably still in her 30s.
Perhaps younger? She's twenty years older than Pip though I dunno
how old Pip is. Looks up. Ok, he's seven. I thought it was something
like that. So she's twenty seven. So Pip gets in trouble with her for
going out to the grave because she had to go looking for him several
times. It kinda makes me wonder if Mrs. Joe Garfield ever gave the
thought that maybe her little brother would be visiting their dead
parent's grave. It's not like there's anything else for a seven year
old orphan to do in a Dickens novel...except be poor and die.
Or there's the alternative of staring at bread. Apparently Mr. Joe G
and Pip have a tradition of a staring contest yet not with each other
as sane people might do but staring at their bread as if to will it out
of existence. Mr Joe Genieinabottle sees that Pip is able to do just
that and immediately starts to worship Pip and give him great praise
except that didn't happen and Pip gets in trouble for bolting his food.
Whatever bolting here means I dunno but Mrs. Joe Guuci knows that
it's not good and that medicine is good..for you...even if it's not.
Pip's has a violent heart attack and empties his bowls before soon dying.
Actually that doesn't happen but given this is Dickens it's bound to happen sooner or later. No good can happen in Dickens. I mean wouldn't it be
crazy if Pip became super rich because of some mysterious benefactor?
Of course it would because that ain't happening. Pip has to be eaten
by the young man and the iron leg man dude. Speaking of iron legs,
there's a conversation between Pip, Pip's sister, Pip's sister husband and Pip's sister husband's brother in law about the Incredible Hulk. Except
there is more than one Hulk and now they're pirates. Space Pirates.
I dunno but I think they might have something to do with either the
Iron Leg Dude, or the even creepier young dude who's supposed to
be even creepier or Dickens is just screwing with the reader (me) and
they actually have nothing to do with the story. So Pip wakes up
early the next morning and steals a bunch of food and then gets away
and then he falls into a life of crime and depravity and sandwiches.
But before that he's going back to the marshes to meet the iron leg dude.
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