Letters to the Editor #3
Sir, I find it very hard to believe sometimes, that the feeling of intimacy can be daunting at times. Your wife is harsh, nagging, and sometimes depleting on your energy.
But please, quit trying to stuff her into the trash can, just grab that guy off of the street who saw you and blame it on him. Sometimes, the hardest thing to do when dealing with your relationships is to wait things out. I never have had trouble with my girlfriend, her and I get along like money and wallets. Despite your insistence that gasoline will make the situation better, why don't you think about how you can handle the problem better the next time the problem occurs? When deliberating assassinating your wife while she is intricately installing lawn ornaments of the gnomular persuasion, you should always think about the fact that last week, I wrote a paper about how lawn gnomes are commonly used in government practice to spy on passersby in a household.
While I never had any facts to prove this, it nevertheless possible that I could be seeing you in court for a second time, as I am writing this to you as you sweat tears of fear.
With these final words, I place the letter into the mailbox, where you will read this, in about a months time, when detectives discover it was actually the hispanic man across the street who was always jealous of your lawn gnomes, made you think you killed her, when he actually killed you...
It's alllll a dream... see you at work tomorrow sir!
Kerry F. Chronos
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