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-   -   A poem I made to show Brooke herself from the outside (http://forum.naruto.viz.com/showthread.php?t=104352)

Ur Mom 09-05-2011 02:30 PM

A poem I made to show Brooke herself from the outside
 
A few months ago I made this for her when I was getting REALLY passionate against her self pity, so I created this to show her how she looked from the outside, not implying anything about it being wrong, just restating everything our conversations had been like
Quote:

What you look like from the outside

Some of them look
Some of them stare
What are these creatures that look at me, glare at me
Intent and beauty sheaf the inner souls of these heartful daemons
With their eyes that sparkle like white clouds passing next to the sun
With their lips that glow like saturn's rings
With their noses and ears that surely had been crafted by god
With their hips meant to woo, to win
Surely they only see darkness and unhappiness, but nay
they see a girl, flat chest, with makeup and an okay life
not noticing the inside of I
I who has nothing even in the sight of god
Never able to do better for my family or friends
Never able to complete a simple deed
A burden on all that exists
When they notice, when they acknowledge, when they cheer
when they say that I have a great life, those
those who could probably not stay one day in my shoes,
I feel as though I no longer want to walk in them
Barefoot, free.
But I can't do that, so I wear socks, where I can freely form
without recognition from others
without gleam, a solid color
one that can protect from the minute rough terrains I must walk through
over rocks
and through streams
yet not pebbles.
I have felt pain and suffering
I have felt love
Through stress and strife there seems to be no light
Through fight and flirt...I still continue to feel no worth...
Everybody will say I look good
but I'm just a tease
Everybody will say I can surely have love
but I see that it is that love that I fear
I was brought into this world learning that life is not fair
The fair skin of a woman may be the only thing truly to be called "fair" fairly
If you really think
I look good
I have a great personality
I have any talent

I have a good life
You're wrong.

I realized looking back that this is one of my greatest works so I'm posting it
I also want to post it for the sake of trying to get your attention again Brooke
I still can't believe you made this pass over your head, and I'm not sure if it was on purpose

EmoSakura 09-05-2011 05:30 PM

Re: A poem I made to show Brooke herself from the outside
 
:lol: :lol: Oh wow.

I remember this. xD And it's still mostly right.
You got my attention cuz the first thing I noticed was my name in the title. :lol:
Then, once I reread it, I started talking to myself for like 10 minutes about this. And how I was kinda oopy about my name in the title. But you did get my attention.

It's not pity, btw. I don't like myself and I don't like people complimenting me only because I don't know if it's the truth or not.

But anyway, I'm glad I inspired you to make this amazingness. =3 Excellent

Ur Mom 09-06-2011 08:20 AM

Re: A poem I made to show Brooke herself from the outside
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by EmoSakura (Post 5514966)
It's not pity, btw. I don't like myself and I don't like people complimenting me only because I don't know if it's the truth or not.

But anyway, I'm glad I inspired you to make this amazingness. =3 Excellent

I realized that, that's why I mentioned the socks and how you would want to shut off like that way
By pity I mean ruing life
Those last 6 lines are the meat of the poem's message, because it was meant to show that you ARE those statements, the message was supposed to convey a sense that this SHOULDN'T be you. Anyway, just think about that for a second

And yes, my best works are always made when there's an actual passion going into it :)


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