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kakuzushearts68
07-04-2009, 02:21 PM
Part 1

i was walking alone one night in the cold snow.i was walking home from a s-rank mission that my squad had failed.we were surrounded by s-rank criminals.my squad leader shiroi had told me and my squad to run.shiroi stayed behind and fought the enemies as we escaped.when we were 3 miles away from the enemies and shiroi we heard a scream...from shiroi.i was in front of the squad.i paused for a minute to make out where we were.we heard some noises in the bushes and started again.the enemies, 3 of them, had followed us here.one of them said that our sensei had died but they were the only ones of them left.me and my squad had fought greatly.we killed them all.my two squad members had died and i had been greatly wounded.i promised that i would never forget shiroi and my two comrades.i also promised that i would avenge all of them by killing the enemies boss, shigor.he is a crime warlord that was at the top of the wanted list in my village.i soon came across a cave.i went in, and treated some of my wounds.then i started out again.thatv is where i am now.i soon found myself fighting a wolf.i killed him but was wounded more.i soon fainted from loss of blood.when i awoke i was in a bed.someone came to me and said that his name was izen, and i was in the village hidden in the darkness.

wat do u guys think so far?should i keep writing?

kakashi uzumaki
07-04-2009, 02:23 PM
its a very good story

takuya
07-04-2009, 02:23 PM
its good keep going with it i also have a story going called Daichi Katsumi maybe u can check it out sometime

kakuzushearts68
07-04-2009, 02:24 PM
its good keep going with it i also have a story going called Daichi Katsumi maybe u can check it out sometimeok.ill check it out later.i need to write part two.ill check it out when im done.

takuya
07-04-2009, 02:27 PM
cool well on with the story

kakuzushearts68
07-04-2009, 02:42 PM
Part 2

once i was healed by a medic group i tried to figure out where shigor is.i asked izen where he thinks he would be.he said that i shouldnt worry about it now.he said i should rest in bed and when im done, go train.i layed in bed wondering what would have happened if me and my squad stayed and helped shiroi.i figured that if we stayed we wouldve defeated all of the ninja and none of us would have died.later izen came in the room to see how i was doing.i asked izen if he knew anyone named shiroi.i asked him it because before we ran i saw shirois pupils turned into stars.once i saw them i knew that he was the last survivor of the taka clan from my village.the great war had killed them all but one.nobody knew who that person is.i figured it out because when your pupils turn to stars it means that you have the taara eye.only the taka clan can use it.i figured out that my old sensei, shiroi, was actually shiroi taka.he hesitated when he heard the name and said that he didnt.i told him that i knew he was lieing.he told me that he knew him and said that he was a top ranked guard of shigor.i thought he was lieing when he said that he was one of the great guards of shigor.but he wasnt. a few months later i was out of the hospital and at the training ground.i trained my signature move, radori, and peirced right through a 98 foot high 78 foot long boulder.everyone there saw it and ran away.i wondered why.i just noticed that i adapted the move from shiroi and it was his signature move.i was als still wearing my headband from my village.shiroi said that i looked a little like him.a little kid about 4 years old came up to me and said "mr.shiroi of the high guards.please dont destroy our village."i told him that i wasnt shiroi and that my name is gorai, and i was shirois old student unknowing that he was one of the great guards.over at the uchikages office..."who is this boy izen?"the uchikage said."he is a boy from the hidden chaos clan whos squad was killed on an s-rank mission.his sensei appeared to be shiroi taka of the great guards.the boy didnt know who he really was.he was greatly wounded and was knocked out in the snow" izen told him."well.by tommorrow, bring me the boy.i will asign him a new squad and sensei.but he will have to wear a hidden darkness village headband." the uchikage said.

To be continued...

kakuzushearts68
07-04-2009, 02:42 PM
cool well on with the storyhere it is.im gonna check ur story out.

kakuzushearts68
07-04-2009, 03:06 PM
Part 3

once i adapted a new jutsu, rainbow impulse, izen told me to follow him.i followed him to the uchikages office.the uchikage told me i would be in a new squad as the sensei.he then gave me a hidden darkness village headband.i then headed to the training ground.i met my knew team.it was made up of shinori bakaru, a full of himself brat from a exstinguished clan, shishi karu, a medic ninja who thinks shes the smartest person in the world, and gorisho sheno, a ninja who can`t sit still and has no friends.i told them my name and our first mission.we had to go out and defeat 3 d-ranked rouge ninja who think they`re a s-rank team.we set out to mount shiro. we found a cave at the bottom of the hill.i first got to see my squads powers.shinori used long ranged water style attacks.shishi just threw senbon needles.goshiro just made 4 dark clones and they all took out kunais and attacked meelee on them.soon they were defeated and their boss came out.it turned out to be a c-ranked criminal and told them to stay back.they were not ready for this.i used one rainbow impulse straight on his heart and he was defeated.we returned home and were sent to go train.i showed them what i can do.they were amazed by it.soon we all had to go home and get some rest.went i climbed into bed i wondered wat shiroi is doing right now.and what shigor was going to plan to do next.i soon found myself in a horrible dream.i was fighting shiroi and my comrades.i was by myself.i defeated my comrades and was fighting shiroi.we both used radori on each other and was stuck in a ball of dark chakra.i said goodbye and charged chisengan, a reverse of radori, and striked shiroi in the heart.i woke up to find myself face to face with goshiro.he asked me to teach him the radori.

To be continued...

kakuzushearts68
07-04-2009, 03:07 PM
hey wat u think of them takuya?

kakuzushearts68
07-04-2009, 03:10 PM
i just made this one.i got bored so i just threw something together.

takuya
07-04-2009, 03:14 PM
i left for a bit but i just read it i like it i hope to seem more of his team

kakuzushearts68
07-04-2009, 03:15 PM
i left for a bit but i just read it i like it i hope to seem more of his teamim gonna write part 4 now.

shaunte967
07-04-2009, 03:17 PM
thats a great story

kakashi uzumaki
07-04-2009, 03:18 PM
its pretty long but its great

kakuzushearts68
07-04-2009, 03:27 PM
Part 4

i told goshiro that i would teach him it.he headed to the training grounds and started.first i told him that he would first need to learn chidori.i told him to make a ball of lightning in his hand.first charge lightning chakra in youy hand, then discharge it.he got it on his first try.then i told him that he had to learn the rasengan.i told him to make a stream of chakra going in a circle in his hand.he did that on his first try.then i told him to do both at the same time in one hand.it took him one month to do it.but he finnaly got it.after that i went to go get him some ramen.he said that he wanted to tell me a secret.he said that he had the 16 tailed demon, animo inside of him.he even showed me the seal.i wanted to tell him something but i couldnt.that same demon...almost destroyed my village.we defeated it but it killed my parents...

To be continued...

kakuzushearts68
07-04-2009, 03:28 PM
ok!whoever was anxious to know wat haapened next!here it is!part of 4 of the story!

kakuzushearts68
07-04-2009, 03:31 PM
its pretty long but its greati felt like making it longer cuz i got bored.but im not mad at u.hey.i just broke up with my gf.but i did it.she started acting all weird.she said that she was scared of everything and kept a paper bag over her head sometimes.

kakuzushearts68
07-04-2009, 03:31 PM
i need a new gf.u have anyone in mind?

animelover
07-04-2009, 05:54 PM
O.O wow that was a long read, but very good! :mrgreen: Keep it up! and i loved how u put our village there

kakuzushearts68
07-04-2009, 06:05 PM
Part 5

Once i heard about animo inside of goshiro i was devastated.animo killed my parents.but i wont hold it against goshiro.animo killed my parents way before goshiro was born.a few days later me and my squad had a dangerous mission.it was a c-rank mission that my squad was ready for.it was a mission to defeat a c-rank squad from the hidden wave village.they were said to be on a mission to defeat goshiro.i didnt tell goshiro but i told the others.they promised to defend him.we found the squad and defeated them.but the sensei wasnt around.i was wondering who and where she was.the only information who had on her was that she was female with high qualities and her name was kirai.her nickname was animelover.we went to the hidden wave village to treat our wounds.we needed full stamina to get home.on our way there, we got ambushed.a women,she looked familiar to me.i couldnt quite put my finger on it.she turned around and said,"hello brother.gotai!"

To be continued...

kakuzushearts68
07-04-2009, 06:07 PM
O.O wow that was a long read, but very good! :mrgreen: Keep it up! and i loved how u put our village therethx.and also i just posted part 5.read it.this one has gotai and his squad going to the village hidden in the waves on a mission.gotai finds out something very important.

kakashi uzumaki
07-04-2009, 06:08 PM
this is getting better and better
not bad kakuzu

kakuzushearts68
07-04-2009, 06:12 PM
this is getting better and better
not bad kakuzuthx.i like making them like this.

kakuzushearts68
07-04-2009, 06:59 PM
Part 6


i was shocked when she called me her brother.i said to her, "i cant beleive you.im the only one in my family."i quickly took out my sword and slashed her three times.she dropped something.it said family on the back of it.i picked it up and looked at the picture.i was shocked.my sister dissapeared.it was a clone.on the picture it was my parents.then in between them was...her!she was holding me as a baby.that means she was my real sister.my squad asked me what was in the picture but i said nothing.it dissapeared.we went into the village and found a hut.there was an old man who treated our wounds.my sister walked in.i through a kunai at her but she dodged it.the old man said,"now what are you doing to my daughter?"

To be continued...

kakuzushearts68
07-04-2009, 08:20 PM
Part 7


when the old man said that, i almost fell backwards in shock."if your her dad, then your...my dad." i said.he called me by my real name wich no one knows but my parents.i told him what had happened to me in these past weaks.the part was that he was most surprised who my sensei was.i asked him where my mom was.he said that she was coming home from buying grocries.i went to go find her i saw he get stabbed through the heart with a sword.when i saw who did it i thought "thats one of the s-rank criminals!" i went into a great rage.my eyes turned from white and blue to pitch black.then they turned into all of the special eyes created.(sharingan,byakugan,rinnengan, etc.)i yelled to the man, "your going to die for killing my mother!" even though i was only b-rank, i killed the s-rank in a mere 3 seconds."how did i do that?" i said in disbeleife. i looked into a puddle and saw my reflection. "the ultimate eye!"i said to myself.i was the first to obtain the ultimate eye.no one beleived that it existed.it was only to be told in legends. i went home and said to my squad "we're leaving." i told my sister to take care of dad and what happened with mom.i told her about everything that happened back there.on our way back to the village we got attacked by someone. he said that he was one of the gret guards.i told my squad to stay back and use long ranged attacks. "since this is a great guard im going to have to use this." i said.i turned on my ultimate eye and we got ready to fight.

To be continued...

kakuzushearts68
07-05-2009, 08:59 AM
Part 8


as we got ready to fight, this guy looked familiar.but if anyone found out anything else, we would have a lot of s-rank criminals."guys.just stay back and use long ranged attacks.this mission went from c-rank to a-rank." i said.they stayed back and did what i said.but their jutsu didnt do anything!i turned on my ultimate eye and before i knew it my legs were charging at the guard and my arm charged radori while my other arm had a gold kusangi blade swinging uncontrollably at the guard.i got him in the stomach with my radori and chopped off his head.after that, me and my squad quickly got home and rested from our mission.i only trained.when i only used one radori my sister and father appeared.they told me that they have to stay here.i got my father a hidden house and my sister helped me teach my squad.then my sister told me that there is only one guard left.i was surprised when she told me that because there are 4 guards in total.then she told me the guards name...shiroi!

To bo continued...

kakuzushearts68
07-05-2009, 09:03 AM
hey takuya.i posted these awsome parts.wat ya think of them?

takuya
07-05-2009, 09:04 AM
i like them i added some stuff to my story too but ill had more later i wish i just got more comments

kakuzushearts68
07-05-2009, 09:06 AM
part 5 has a big twist =-]

takuya
07-05-2009, 09:07 AM
yep it does

NaruSakufluff4ever
07-05-2009, 11:03 AM
keep going dude this is aweomse!

takuya
07-05-2009, 11:08 AM
how come ppl dont go to my story like this i think its good but keep up the good work dude(my story daichi katsumi)lol

NaruSakufluff4ever
07-05-2009, 11:10 AM
i think ive commented

kakuzushearts68
07-05-2009, 08:47 PM
i have poisen ivy and my mom said i can only go on an hour a day.so im not gonna make anymore `till my poisen ivys cleared up.

kakuzushearts68
07-06-2009, 08:07 AM
ok.my poisen ivys gone(that was fast)so im gonna make part 9

kakuzushearts68
07-06-2009, 08:21 AM
Part 9


i wasnt really surprised when she told me it because shiroi is really strong.the next day i had countless dreams about shiroi.the next day we had a b-rank mission, where another squad would come with us.that means there would be 1 new a-rank and two b-rank.i promised i wouldnt let anyone down on this mission.it was to escort the kage of the hidden sky village.1000s of s-ranks wanted to kill him or capture him just for bounty.we were halfway there and were attacked by about 500 s-ranks.it was hard defeating them.but we have two great medics.we had gotten to the entrance but didnt know how to get in.the kage pushed a pedal on the ground with his foot and a stairway appeared.we quickly got up the staircase and the kage pushed a pedal to make the stairs dissapear.we soon found the village on the clouds in the sky.the kage gave us a giant scroll and told us to sit around the center of it.the kage stepped on the circle and stamped his hand on it.we all disappeared and reapeared at our village.we were all amazed.soon i was going to teach my squad a forbiden jutsu that cant hurt the user in any way.i hadnt seen izen in a long time.i saw him in my dream.but this time he was dieing.i woke up in the middle of the night to be face to face with izen.he told me that he to, had the ultimate eye.


To be continued...

kakuzushearts68
07-16-2009, 07:21 PM
Part 10

i was surprised when he told me that because it wasnt possible.there is only two legacys in the world who can tame them.i figured out that it was mine.but then izen told me that his name was izenio muzikuo.i was surprised then to, because muzikuo was the other lagacy.then i told him that i beleived him and i asked him if we can train together.he said yes and we trained.i used radori on a boulder that was really big and turned around to see if he was surprised.then he told me to watch him.he used chisengan on a bigger boulder and made it crumble.i asked him how he used chisengan and he said he had a job to watch me.i used radori and he copied it and reversed it.we trained for an hour and then i got tired again and went back to sleep.i heard rustling in my house and found a robber steealing my stuff.i got up without him noticing and turned on my ultimate eye.in a second i threw him out and threw m sword at him.it landed in his stomach and peirced him.i quickly went over to him and took off his mask.he had the taara eye on...but wasnt shiroi.i killed him and then swore a promise...that i would be the vanquisher of the taka clan!

To be continued...