Shinagami
01-12-2011, 07:11 PM
Hi, I'm Shinagami... I kinda just created this thread so I could post some of my poems and get feedback on them... I know they're not good, but I want to see how I can improve... So here goes the first one (it doesnt have a name...)
How do you know when it's the end?
When you break because of being forced to bend?
Do you feel yourself snap,
Do you feel it when life gives your soul a slap?
Do you cut yourself on the thorns and serraded edges,
When you fall from these ledges,
So high in the sky,
Do you feel the pain when you come down from your high?
I'll probably post more if I get good feedback on this one, but if not I probably won't because in my opinion this is probably my best... Thanks to all who comment and thanks for all the help in advance heh heh `:) . And please only constructive criticism, because I know it's not like, Shakespear or Edgar Allen Poe or whatever, I know they're not very good, but they're my feelings and emotions, so don't hate `:).
How do you know when it's the end?
When you break because of being forced to bend?
Do you feel yourself snap,
Do you feel it when life gives your soul a slap?
Do you cut yourself on the thorns and serraded edges,
When you fall from these ledges,
So high in the sky,
Do you feel the pain when you come down from your high?
I'll probably post more if I get good feedback on this one, but if not I probably won't because in my opinion this is probably my best... Thanks to all who comment and thanks for all the help in advance heh heh `:) . And please only constructive criticism, because I know it's not like, Shakespear or Edgar Allen Poe or whatever, I know they're not very good, but they're my feelings and emotions, so don't hate `:).