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Kiseki
12-12-2010, 05:39 AM
"Akumu" is Japanese and means "Nightmare".

Kiyomi is 18 year-old girl and lives in a peaceful small village. Though
after her 18th birthday strange rumours start to spread around the area.
With their village being more and more strictly guarded, the new young
king is looking for something specific in their place. But what?
The young king is looking for a nightmare drop. A pureblood tear.
For ages there is a fairytail that a pureblood princess lives in their area.
Everyone always thought it was a joke but now they are confused.
People slowly start to disappear, hiding in the shades or moving away.
Does this pureblood princess excists? What will Kiyomi do?

Time: Modern age, year 3040.
Activities: Fighting, romance, horror (little), drama.

http://img821.imageshack.us/img821/9291/akumuart1mini.png

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AKUMU INTRO
" RIVER OF BLOOD "

Floating down the river slowly.
Rose petals turned into my own blood.
A silent whisper of pain goes through the body.
Is this the moment to give up?
Or shall I fight and rise above the surface?
Only two options.
Follow time and see where it goes.
Or go back in time and be a hero.
Those who take my hand I drag along.
Those who judge, I prove them wrong.
As I wipe off the blood I figured what has to be done.
Little tears of red…
Guide me on my path of pain.

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Chapter one (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showthread.php?p=4463389#post4463389)

Characters
Name: Kiyomi
Gender: Female
Age: 18
Hair colour: Ash blonde
Eye colour: Light blue
Length: 166 cm

Name: Ichirou
Gender: Male
Age: 19
Hair colour: Black
Eye colour: Chocolate
Length: 174 cm

Name: Yuudai
Gender: Male
Age: 20
Hair colour: Blonde
Eye colour: Green
Length: 178 cm

Name: Raicho
Gender: Female
Age: 18
Hair colour: Red
Eye colour: Gray
Length: 165 cm

Name: Michi
Gender: 20
Age: 20
Hair colour: Black
Eye colour: Light blue
Length: 167 cm

Name: Min Jae
Gender: Male
Age: 21
Hair colour: Brown
Eye colour: Black
Length: 177 cm


Users who I PM if AKUMU is updated :
gama-sennin, Shikamaru Nara, CrackFat,
Semog, Koanos, Sephiroth, Danielle.

gama-sennin
12-12-2010, 05:59 AM
I want to subscribe to mailing list for this one too....Make sure that you do that...;)

Kiseki
12-12-2010, 06:03 AM
I want to subscribe to mailing list for this one too....Make sure that you do that...;)
Thanks! And, thanks for the reminder! o-o
I think I'm going to put that list in the first post.
So people know when I have put them in the mailing list :D

Shikamaru Nara
12-12-2010, 06:41 AM
This is awesome so far.
It conceals the true plot with a poem.
But it is not too vague.
A dip of mystery.
As advice though, if you don't have a predefined plot, you should come up with one.

With regards to the poetry - I liked thepoem, but iwithout a chapter one or prologue it was hard to grasp what it's about.
Unless that was your intention.
However I love the theme of a nightmare.
Count me in.

Kiseki
12-12-2010, 12:06 PM
This is awesome so far.
It conceals the true plot with a poem.
But it is not too vague.
A dip of mystery.
As advice though, if you don't have a predefined plot, you should come up with one.

With regards to the poetry - I liked thepoem, but iwithout a chapter one or prologue it was hard to grasp what it's about.
Unless that was your intention.
However I love the theme of a nightmare.
Count me in.
Thanks Michael :D ... added you to the mailing list.
Ehm, this was just an intro, not the plot of the entire story.
I still have to make the plot, I'll make it within a few hours. ;)

Shikamaru Nara
12-12-2010, 12:19 PM
Finally. Thanks for calling me by my name. :lol:

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh , that makes more sense and clarifies things.
In that case, perfect.

Thanks.

Kiseki
12-12-2010, 01:45 PM
Updated first post. Hopefully more comments now.
It was short indeed, my bad, sorry.

gama-sennin
12-12-2010, 07:32 PM
Interesting...Your writing style is different from what it used to be...

PS: Focus more on the romance part...

Kiseki
12-13-2010, 01:50 AM
Interesting...Your writing style is different from what it used to be...

PS: Focus more on the romance part...
Oh yeah sure, that will be OK. ;)
She will not go at the streets alone haha.

And so far it's little diffrent yes. ( Btw, is this worse? o-o )
Though the chapters are going to be in the same style as Izumi :D

kejon16
12-13-2010, 01:52 AM
Love it. ^.^

gama-sennin
12-13-2010, 03:25 AM
Oh yeah sure, that will be OK. ;)
She will not go at the streets alone haha.


I'll try my best to be around when she does that...;)


And so far it's little diffrent yes. ( Btw, is this worse? o-o )
Though the chapters are going to be in the same style as Izumi :DIts better..I have read each and every chapter of Izumi so you can trust my opinion on this...:ugeek::ugeek:

Shikamaru Nara
12-13-2010, 05:14 AM
Interesting...Your writing style is different from what it used to be...

PS: Focus more on the mystery part. Who gives a hoot about romance. You can get it in real life. Excluding a select few.

george hyuga
12-13-2010, 09:50 AM
really good writing fenna, can't wait to see whats coming. also great pic

gama-sennin
12-13-2010, 09:56 AM
Interesting...Your writing style is different from what it used to be...

PS: Focus more on the mystery part. Who gives a hoot about romance. You can get it in real life. Excluding a select few.

http://smileys.on-my-web.com/repository/Tongue/making-fun-054.GIF

george hyuga
12-13-2010, 09:59 AM
@_@.....

Kiseki
12-13-2010, 10:04 AM
Love it. ^.^
Awe thanks Kenjon <3
I'll try my best to be around when she does that...;)

Its better..I have read each and every chapter of Izumi so you can trust my opinion on this...:ugeek::ugeek:
Haha, you ladies-man! /fingersnap :cool:
Oooooh thanks! You got me little nervous there haha.
Interesting...Your writing style is different from what it used to be...

PS: Focus more on the mystery part. Who gives a hoot about romance. You can get it in real life. Excluding a select few.
Maybe gama can tell you how love works :lol: <333
really good writing fenna, can't wait to see whats coming. also great pic
Thank you! You're the first to notice, just posted it.
It's Kiyomi, it's a future scene in the story! :D
@_@.....
What this guy said! @_@"

Chapter 1 up soon!

george hyuga
12-13-2010, 10:07 AM
it looks epic, can't wait ^^

CrackFat
12-13-2010, 10:37 AM
A-w-e-s-o-m-e, add me to the list.

Kiseki
12-13-2010, 10:41 AM
Crackers! :D
Thanks girl, I really hope you'll enjoy the first chapter.
Working on it now! /continues writing

CrackFat
12-13-2010, 10:48 AM
Of course I would! Looking forward to it.
/kisses ass.

gama-sennin
12-13-2010, 10:51 AM
^^ Whose ass? 0.o

CrackFat
12-13-2010, 11:56 AM
Figure of speech... But since I like to respond to those kind of questions in a very questionable way... Yours. ;)

Rasen_Chidori
12-13-2010, 01:26 PM
It's great, awesome work Kiseki ^.^

Shikamaru Nara
12-13-2010, 01:32 PM
Ah, you added an image. Cool. ^_^

Kiseki
12-13-2010, 01:44 PM
It's great, awesome work Kiseki ^.^
Thank you Rasen-kun :D

@ Michael: Yeah, its a picture of myself :3

Semog
12-13-2010, 01:53 PM
Awesome *_*
I liked it :3
/Subscribes

Koanos
12-13-2010, 02:28 PM
Intrestting, I guess this is a very hyped story seeing that 26 people have already posted here, and half of them have already suscribed... Sign me up.

Kiseki
12-14-2010, 02:02 AM
Thanks both! I'll put you on the mailing list :D
@ Koanos: Alot of people liked my previous story I wrote.
I think that is why they know what type of work I make :3

I'll be posting the first chapter today ;)

Taker369
12-14-2010, 02:50 AM
worst story Ever slams fists onto desk i think im going blind it was so bad .

JK JK good start i like it so far keep it up

Kiseki
12-14-2010, 07:58 AM
CHAPTER ONE

THE PLEASURE IS MINE

Still no message. She stared nervously to the hologram which was shining a ray of white light on her face. Still no sign of him so she logged it off. Almost willing to pull out her own hair she looked at herself in the mirror, trying to calm herself slowly. At that very moment she heard noises in the living room, immediately she marched out of her room stumbling down the stairs. Kiyomi was still gasping for air as she moved the door to the living room aside, looking with narrow eyes to the person she was waiting for all day. "Ichirou!" she yelled. He did not even blink while he walked towards her, grabbed her arm and took her outside. They were in the backyard where birds where chirping peacefully, singing their song while hopping from branch to branch. He pushed her violently to the wall and put his hand on her mouth so she would be able to talk. What was he thinking?

"Yomi-chan! Listen up! I don't trust that guy. You had send me over there to watch him right? Yuudai, he was going..." Ichirou stopped with talking and removed his hand as they could hear somebody approach the yard. He stared at her as if he was telling her to shut her mouth while Yuudai walked slowly towards them. "Having a little date? How cute... Anyway, my father is asking for you two. He'd like to invite you for a meal... don't worry Kiyomi-san. It'll be fun. Oh and don't forget to bring your sister along, I'd like to have a word with her" he said without any of the others interrupting his little talk. She pushed Ichirou away as she ran out of the garden without hesitating, she did not look back. "Yomi-chan wait!" he yelled but she had no intentions to listen to him and walked inside to get ready. Before she closed the door she looked at Ichirou and said "Wait for me here". A few minutes later she and her older sister Michi came out and all together they walked towards Yuudai’s house.

"Ichirou-kun, you look tired... Why don't you go to our place and get some rest? I'm sure that Kiyomi would not mind to lend you her room for a bit" Michi said, however her smile stopped as she looked into her little sister's face and she remained silent the rest of the walk. "I'm fine, thank you" Ichirou said polite, though silent. As Yuudai welcomed them all and pointed them a room Michi became giggly and whispered something into her sister's ear. "He's handsome isn't he?" Kiyomi wanted to throw up by hearing that and she turned her head away which was accidentally in Ichirou's direction. There was no mistake he heard what Michi whispered and it was like he wanted to check if Kiyomi thought he was handsome too. Exactly at the moment that she wanted to excuse herself Yuudai and his father entered the room and took place while bringing some papers along. A servant filled their glasses and had put some delicious plates filled with food on the small table in front of them. "Don't be shy minna-san, enjoy yourself!" his father said. After Kiyomi tried out a few dishes the man, dressed in a classic kimono with a dragon print, started to speak again.

"I see you are all good friends with great bonding. Now Kiyomi was the last to turn 18 am I correct? I'd like to give you a little mission. Next week I will be appointed as the new village leader and I need some people to help me out with those annoying guards of the new young king. As you all know, those guards aren't real soldiers or warriors and they don't have any serious weapons. However I'd like to train you guys to you can defend this place in case the pureblood princess shows her face". It was silent for a while and they all looked at each other. "I want you to see the unseen, because you know all these people who live here. If anybody acts differently we must take action and prevent any possible nightmare. In return I shall give you a safe place to stay and provide you food, anything you need for a living. Are you interested in the job?" he asked with a serious look on his face. Before anyone could say anything Kiyomi stood up and said "The pleasure is mine..." The others were surprised and asked her why. "This prince and his men are annoying and arrogant. They need to go!"

The man nodded, approving her excitement for this mission. After chatting for somewhat time Yuudai stood up and spoke "As you all know I'd like to have a word with Michi privately. Michi, shall we?" She stood up as he asked her too and took his hand and he guided her outside to another room. Kiyomi and Ichirou excused themselves, thanked Yuudai's father for the food and hospitality, and let them be guided outside by a servant. For a few minutes they were waiting for Michi to come outside so they could all go home again. "Yomi-chan" he said nervously while his hand stroke her hair gently. "Save it for later... I'm going inside to pick her up" she interrupted. As she was about to walk into the room they were in Kiyomi picked up a little of their conversation, which frustrated her. "Marriage? Do you realize how old you are Yuudai-kun!" her sister yelled. Kiyomi's eyes were all red because of rage. Was he going to marry her sister? Or someone else? Within a few seconds all memories she had with Yuudai flew by in her mind, sweet memories she'd always cherished.

She ran outside again, almost off the yard. Ichirou smiled without any real happy emotion and he turned around slowly. "So you saw?" he asked. Kiyomi did not wanted to discuss it with him now however it was for the best to make something up to say. Otherwise he would be all worried about her all week long if she remained silent that long. "Yuudai can marry whoever he want, it's none of my business" she replied. With a big smile she turned towards him and he was scared, because he knew it was fake. "Stop smiling, or I make you stop!" He was obviously annoyed with her, so she stopped the fake expression right away. "What's with you seriously?!" she yelled. "Don't you see? You're making a fool out of yourself, because you keep chasing him while he has no interest in you whatsoever! Wake up Yomi-chan, please!" Kiyomi's eyes were wide open now. “What did you say?!” Her tone was even more aggressive now. He grabbed her body and held her tight and he closed his eyes as he wanted to take a quick rest. He did not want to pick a fight with her now. As he let her go she said "Don't you ever tell anyone okay?" He nodded and promised her. "As long as you promise me to give him up..." He saw in her large bright eyes that she probably felt as if she was stabbed in her soul. He always knew just by looking at her eyes. Michi walked outside, they all waved at Yuudai and his father, then they started to walk back home.

Right before they had to say goodbye Kiyomi turned to Ichirou. "You're staying here tonight, I texted your mom and she said it was okay, she already brought your pyjama's, stuff like that..." Kiyomi said. "Ichirou? What's wrong?" Ichirou had a face as if the world was going to be destroyed or something like that. Kiyomi didn't really understand. "I... I couldn't be more embarrassed!" he said while he sat down on his knees with is aura all depressed. Kiyomi laughed nervously and dragged him inside, to her room. He tried to grab anything in his way to make her stop from dragging him along. "What's so bad about it? Really... I think you..." She suddenly started to laugh so hard, the whole neighbourhood could probably hear it. "You have teddy bear on shirt?!" Ichirou sighed, grabbed it out of her hand and changed right away and then he jumped under his sheets. After Kiyomi finally stopped laughing she suddenly looked at him and smiled. Slowly she let her body rest on his and now she lied upon him, still smiling. "This is rape! I want my mother!" he joked. She pinched his cheek real hard. "Hey! That hurts!" he yelled. "Shh… good night, rest well Ichi-kun!"

Ishtar
12-14-2010, 08:02 AM
Sweet. It's been awhile since I posted in this section. I'd like to read more. :D

Edit: *Moar.

gama-sennin
12-14-2010, 08:43 AM
Keep it coming....And make the chapters longer..

Kiseki
12-14-2010, 09:40 AM
OK thanks :D

Sephiroth
12-14-2010, 09:41 AM
pm me if updated

Semog
12-14-2010, 01:49 PM
]That was so awesome and touching *_*
Please keep it up :D

Ninja of Cao
12-15-2010, 01:15 AM
This seems to be an interesting story.

Bacon
12-15-2010, 09:07 AM
I like the story Kiseki. ^^

>.> I get the feline that Yomi will be a victim of abuse or something.

Kiseki
12-16-2010, 12:04 PM
I like the story Kiseki. ^^

>.> I get the feline that Yomi will be a victim of abuse or something.
Haha not a chance! :P
Kiyomi is strong and she'll always have Ichirou saving her but ;)




Edit in the first chapter!
Moar to read, haha.

gama-sennin
12-16-2010, 12:15 PM
I like the story Kiseki. ^^

>.> I get the feline that Yomi will be a victim of abuse or something.

Its good to see you back...

@Kiseki

Much better now...:D

I'd love to know what Yomi is going to do next...`<3

Kiseki
12-16-2010, 12:29 PM
Its good to see you back...

@Kiseki

Much better now...:D

I'd love to know what Yomi is going to do next...`<3
Steal his pyjama's? ROFL!!!!!!!

Thank you :D
I'd knew you would love the last part haha.

Koanos
12-16-2010, 02:14 PM
Awesome first chapter!

Danielle
12-18-2010, 01:14 PM
It's awesome, you can sign me up for updates. ^^

Kiseki
12-19-2010, 04:36 AM
Thank you Danielle! :D
I will put you on the list.

@ Others: Thanks so much for your comments meanwhile!!!!!
Next chapter will be posted within a few days.

Kiseki
01-10-2011, 06:47 AM
CHAPTER TWO

THE SOUL

Several days had passed and Kiyomi was more than prepared to start her with new job from Mr. Kyo, Yuudai's father. Her mother accidentally heard the plan from her sister Michi and she was furious when she found out. As a single parent she was raising the two girls by herself and their father died two years ago when he was fighting for the kingdom of the old king. However, almost half the country's army was fallen and a new king had to come. Otherwise they would all be left for dead if South-Korea attacked their country. Japan, now two years later, was stable and strong. Since a few days Kiyomi was in trouble after meeting a South-Korean guy named Min Jae by accident during a town festival. He claimed he was a tourist, however she did not believe him and took him home for investigation. With a gun put to his head he knew he had no chance to escape from the situation. Kiyomi had her mom sent on a holiday, which was obviously weird during these times. So Mr. Kyo helped her out and offered her some extra money for it which she could barely resist and she made a promise to him that she would pay him back as in working for him as a servant.

His face was still red and a print from her hand was visible when he slowly lowered his head. A teardrop fell on the floor, however he expression on his face was totally blank. "Yomi-chan, that's more than enough!" yelled Ichirou and his voice went trough the room like an echo. She looked at him and said "I thought you were the man and I was the woman... Ichi-kun". His face was slowly filling with more anger, however he managed to stay calm and he grabbed her wrist. "Stop it, just... stop it!" he said. "You can make a difference in this place without being so bloody cold, it's just not right anymore. You have to stay who you other, otherwise you're losing it and I don't want you to change. Please..." Ichirou said while looking nervously at her while she removed his hand and walked again. "I'll lock up all exits okay?" she said and she vanished in the hallway. He looked at Min Jae and he pointed his gun at his head, which was still red and the print of Kiyomi's hand was still visible. "Don't get any crazy idea's okay, please work with us and you'll be fine. You could actually be of use to us, don't mess up. And can't return to your country for a while and I think you're aware of that. So for now, let's make the best of it and survive this hellhole okay?" Min Jae nodded.

A week later they introduced Min Jae to Mr. Kyo and the man seemed pleased with the guy they came up with. "He's probably weak right now. I'll train him personally for you Mr. Kyo" Kiyomi said. The man smiled and said "Alright... Don't screw up. Take good care of that boy and make him a good fighter so we can use him whenever we need". Min Jae said he was a tourist, however the truth was that he messed up personal things at home and he did not wish to see those people for a while. Why he went to Japan was still a mystery to them, but Kiyomi couldn't care really. Min Jae was a clever guy and she had to acknowledge that and he also was popular with the females because he had some sort of natural charm about him. Every time Kiyomi and Min Jae were out for shopping or buying food all those girls would stare at him and it was starting to annoy her. She forced him to remain silent of someone talked to him or looked at him and he was not allowed to show any interest in any type of person. Ichirou thought Kiyomi was simply jealous, however she claimed that they shouldn't draw any attention in public to prevent getting in trouble.

A month later her mom came back from her holiday and Mr. Kyo had a house prepared for them at a private piece of land. Now that he was the mayor of this town they could relax a little more without being watched. Min Jae cursed something in Korean when he missed the target during his shooting practice. Kiyomi walked towards him and corrected him by showing him how it's been done. "Relax your breathing while you're shooting. You're obviously out of shape so you can’t shoot properly at this rate, please practice this later and let's start something else". At the end of the day the sun was setting and they were both all sweaty and tired while they stopped running. Min Jae was gasping for air while Kiyomi seemed fine and she told him that this was the difference between hitting the target and getting killed. All four of them, Kiyomi, Min Jae, Ichirou and Michi continued their training for months and time passed easily while they grew a lot stronger than before. Each one of them chose a different specialty which made them a dream team. Kiyomi and Min Jae were close range fighters, extremely useful for assassinations. Ichirou and Michi turned out to be a good racers and they could shoot out of moving vehicles during a fight. They were also sniper specialists.

It was time for them to stop shooting at random targets such as bottles, bricks and puppets and move on to a real living target. "What will happen if you really kill somebody?" Michi asked carefully when they were all eating their dinner. "Don't think, don't consider any thought that pops up into your mind... Just do it. Once you've had your first kill it's easy to repeat it when necessary". They all turned around and Michi gasped. "Yuudai-kun!" she said out loud! "I'm coming to pick up someone for a mission..." he said calmly. "Who's ready to lose their soul and become a true fighter?" They all remained silent for a little moment and seconds passed without any of them making any emotion. "That's not true, you're not losing your soul. You just become a different person for a moment!" Ichirou said. Yuudai laughed. "I'm not the same anymore as I was a half year ago. Don't you realize? The day that my father invited you... I had to kill someone to prove my father that me and you guys were on the right age to make a difference, to prove him that we are grown ups.

"Was that why you wanted to..." Michi tried to ask him something, but he continued. "Yes, that is the reason and I like to make things happen before the situation changes too much. I'm not a monster now, I still have normal human dreams" he said. Kiyomi stood up. "Who's the target, where do I have to be at, what time and what location?" Yuudai smiled and his hand stroke her hair as he praised her "As expected from Kiyomi-chan... I will give you the details later. Come with me please" he said and together they walked outside. He drove her back to his house where here father explained them two the mission and told them information about the target. The same night they had to try out a first combat with a guard that was patrolling the area around Kiyomi's own place and it was hard for her to accept, because she knew that there was a possibility for her mom to hear noises and get scared. Before she and Yuudai stepped into the car she started to cry. He walked towards her and lay his hands on her shoulders while he smiled at her to comfort her. "Be a good girl and you may become my wife..." he said and Kiyomi was shocked hearing that and she pushed him away aggressively. He laughed and said "That's more like it. Now, let's go!"

Ninja of Cao
01-11-2011, 02:01 AM
Very well written and good story.

Kiseki
01-11-2011, 05:09 AM
Thank you! Do you like to follow? :D
In that case I PM you when the story is updated.

Shikamaru Nara
01-12-2011, 10:18 AM
I love it!

Kiseki
01-22-2011, 08:24 AM
/bump

This is actually sad. T.T