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Maikeru D. Shinigami
06-12-2009, 01:12 PM
This Story has a Copyright.

It is a personal story on The Grim Reaper and how he came to be with twists and turns throughout the first trilogy. The second trilogy delves further.

The Entire Book is in the post below.

Book Titles :

The Reaper Trilogy:
Book 1 : Tarnished Tranquility
Book 2 : Sinister Ambition
Book 3 : Focal Atrophy

The Licharius Trilogy:
Book 4 : Eternal Serpentine
Book 5 : Fiery Divergence
Book 6 : Immortal Culimination

Maikeru D. Shinigami
06-12-2009, 02:18 PM
[Chapters will be placed here when requested]

Soccer Ninja 21
06-12-2009, 02:26 PM
Well don't think negitively, the next harry potter could be you! I think you should publish it, if not for the book but the experince. I dislike grammar as well, unless its a formal essay for school I tend to let it was slip away...(like right now!) I enjoy writing to but I never had had the patience for writing a book I've tryed and sorta stoped at page 3...Keep writing it'll be great I know it. I can speak for myself, not every one esle but I'll support 'cha! It seems like my genre too. Oh, the thought of books...

Maikeru D. Shinigami
06-12-2009, 02:34 PM
Thanks ooh I'm not pessimistic about it ... just doubt it can be THAT popular. Like I said I'm sure I can make a good story but not sure how well I can right it. I'm not a hundred percent sure what genre it would be though. It has a mixture of love, hate, religion, magic, betrayal, mystery, drama, death, twists, etc... I'm not sure there is an element I haven't touched yet it is very wide varied. I think my twists are brilliant although I have to admit I got one of my ideas from the Harry Potter books. The last books twist I came up with I like the most. I also leave the reader ask a question in each chapter and some have the answer at the end of the chapters.

Soccer Ninja 21
06-12-2009, 02:37 PM
I love twists! amd genre is the type of book you like. (ex. horror fantasy romance)
wow, sounds like you have put alot into it, that's really cool. I get my inspirtion from Philophers, and Walter Dean Myers. (an author)

Nick Tasogare
06-12-2009, 02:41 PM
wow, maikeru, havvent seen you forever, i used to mysticnin15/ninjanick15, and i have to say, youre prety good, my friends and i also write a role play

Shinobi: The Saga, Pts. 1 and 2, if your interested :)

Nick Tasogare
06-12-2009, 02:43 PM
but the grim reaper uses a scythe, not a sai, elektra uses a sai :)

Soccer Ninja 21
06-12-2009, 02:44 PM
Sorry Kage I gotta go, my computers freaking out. Keep writing I expect to see it in print! ;)

Maikeru D. Shinigami
06-12-2009, 02:54 PM
Oh yeah duh... I can't believe I put down sai ... I must've been watching the Ninja Turtles around that time or something, lol. Ohh yeah it does get a bit of a horror element in it later on. Yeah I'll put the next chapter or two up soon hopefully.

@Nick : Yeah it has been awhile how's life? Alright I'll check that out later.

Nick Tasogare
06-12-2009, 02:56 PM
Oh yeah duh... I can't believe I put down sai ... I must've been watching the Ninja Turtles around that time or something, lol. Ohh yeah it does get a bit of a horror element in it later on. Yeah I'll put the next chapter or two up soon hopefully.

@Nick : Yeah it has been awhile how's life? Alright I'll check that out later.


pretty, good, and thanks,

and everyone makes mistakes :)

Maikeru D. Shinigami
06-12-2009, 03:05 PM
pretty, good, and thanks,

and everyone makes mistakes :)

Yeah I actually noticed a spelling mistake while looking back trying to find sai. I had spelt ground without the d ... I think I spelt weep wrong too I think I may have to look that up to find the spelling.

Maikeru D. Shinigami
06-12-2009, 03:06 PM
Hmm nevermind I did spell it right.

Soccer Ninja 21
06-12-2009, 03:17 PM
Hey my computer stopped actin' like a spoiled child, yay!

Soccer Ninja 21
06-12-2009, 03:17 PM
I'll be looking forward to those new chapters.

Maikeru D. Shinigami
06-12-2009, 03:43 PM
Yeah I'm working on typing up Chapter 3 right now ... can expect it in a few hours I'd say.

Soccer Ninja 21
06-12-2009, 03:45 PM
cooll.

Sage Mode
06-12-2009, 03:51 PM
The family was laying on the ground in Hel's Graveyard. Blood, and sweat poured down the man's body as his baby son of only one year sleeps by the tombstone. The mother prays in the corner hoping for some form of miracle.
The Reaper stands over the man and in a sickly voice he speaks, "Your time is up Mr. Pragmer, your time is up."
"You will never get your hand on my family, Reaper never!" the man yelled back at him.


Awesome, man.

Suggestion: I think you're only doing it in the beginning, but in general the verb tenses need to be consistent throughout. So it would read:

Blood, and sweat poured down the man's body as his baby son of only one year slept by the tombstone. The mother prayed in the corner hoping for some form of miracle.

Soccer Ninja 21
06-12-2009, 03:55 PM
Good call, Sage, my English teacher goes on alot about that...in my own writing...its hard to be consitaint like that. I always have to be looking back. ;) (good use of gren too)

Maikeru D. Shinigami
06-12-2009, 05:10 PM
Chapters have been proofread.

Soccer Ninja 21
06-13-2009, 07:22 AM
Nice.

Maikeru D. Shinigami
06-13-2009, 02:55 PM
Nice.

Thanks I'll put up Chapter 4 sometime soon I think ... whenever I feel like it .. so you like Chapter 3 then I'm guessing.

Soccer Ninja 21
06-13-2009, 03:01 PM
Yes, the story, I feel is coming along nicly. Like i said before, I'd read it.

Kisame
06-13-2009, 03:42 PM
About chapter 1, why was there a baseball bat in the cemetery, were they playing baseball or something. If keeping secret what they were doing is important to the plot then it's okay, but if it wasn't you might want to add more to that scene.

In chapter 2 when Eric talks about hi father's death is seemed rush, it was like he didn't feel any emotion about it. I'd suggest to add a bit more detail to that scene and when Larry goes see Eric after the incident. Eric seemed to calm for having his mother killed in front of his eyes and witnessing a talking dog goig after his best friend. He should've been somewhat traumitized.

A few more suggestions would be to put space between your paragraphs to make it a lot easier to read and try to include more detail. It was hard to imagine how the cemetery, mall, and church looked like with the lack of detail. Anyways it shows promise, it's pretty good.

Maikeru D. Shinigami
06-14-2009, 02:09 PM
About chapter 1, why was there a baseball bat in the cemetery, were they playing baseball or something. If keeping secret what they were doing is important to the plot then it's okay, but if it wasn't you might want to add more to that scene.

In chapter 2 when Eric talks about hi father's death is seemed rush, it was like he didn't feel any emotion about it. I'd suggest to add a bit more detail to that scene and when Larry goes see Eric after the incident. Eric seemed to calm for having his mother killed in front of his eyes and witnessing a talking dog goig after his best friend. He should've been somewhat traumitized.

A few more suggestions would be to put space between your paragraphs to make it a lot easier to read and try to include more detail. It was hard to imagine how the cemetery, mall, and church looked like with the lack of detail. Anyways it shows promise, it's pretty good.

Thanks, I'll look at that ... the bat was there because they took it to the graveyard with them, they planned to confront with the Reaper. Actually I can't really speak too much about Eric's parents death's without releasing a spoiler.

Yoruichi
06-15-2009, 09:16 AM
:shock:OMG this scared the crap outta me I can only read like the first seven sentences it would make a great book by what i read though....
And I'm supposed to love Halloween when I can't read a scary story :shock:

ONIMUSHA
06-15-2009, 09:19 AM
i got bored on the 9th line

Soccer Ninja 21
06-15-2009, 11:15 AM
i got bored on the 9th line

Yes, I guess reading takes patience. That's why everyone says "read a little more, you just haven't gotten into it yet, (to my brother)"

ONIMUSHA
06-15-2009, 11:16 AM
Yes, I guess reading takes patience. That's why everyone says "read a little more, you just haven't gotten into it yet, (to my brother)"
i love reading!

Soccer Ninja 21
06-15-2009, 11:18 AM
Me too! It's like the best thing ever!!!:)

ONIMUSHA
06-15-2009, 11:24 AM
Me too! It's like the best thing ever!!!:)
im even writing a novel,i even posted a chapter of it

Soccer Ninja 21
06-15-2009, 11:25 AM
Cool, I hope all your books come out in print. Is there a link?

ONIMUSHA
06-15-2009, 11:28 AM
Cool, I hope all your books come out in print. Is there a link?
here
http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showthread.php?t=6027

Soccer Ninja 21
06-15-2009, 11:35 AM
Thanks I'll take a look see.

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-06-2009, 08:36 PM
Update : Planning to start on Chapter 4 soon.

Also I added a spoiler on the main post for anyone wishing to see the title of the five books I'm writing.

Kuroda Taishi
07-06-2009, 08:55 PM
Cool story man, check out mine too

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-06-2009, 08:58 PM
Thanks, all right sure thing.

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-08-2009, 04:43 AM
Chapter proofread.

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-08-2009, 05:30 AM
Also if you run across and spelling errors let me know so I can fix it.

NaruSakufluff4ever
07-08-2009, 06:52 AM
this is pretty good dude during the first chapter i thought it was an actual bat not a baseball bat lol

vampire Lycan
07-08-2009, 07:46 AM
LONG!!!! wow cool^^q

NaruSakufluff4ever
07-08-2009, 08:18 AM
yes very long and yes cool ^.^

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-08-2009, 02:27 PM
Thanks guys, I think half of the stuff in the main post is chapter 4, I really made that one long ... the next 3 chapters are quite a bit shorter so I should have them up sooner. Then the rest of the chapters I have not written yet. Probably think the school is too nice right now ... don't worry about that though.

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-08-2009, 04:26 PM
Chapter proofread.

takuya
07-08-2009, 04:45 PM
wow this is good i wonder whats gonna happen next i wonder how will larry kill the dog and i wonder y does this dog only attack certain ppl

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-08-2009, 05:13 PM
Thanks for the compliment seems as thought you are finding this interesting ^_^

NaruSakufluff4ever
07-08-2009, 05:32 PM
yes it is interesting please write more im hooked^.^

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-08-2009, 05:36 PM
Okay I'll start working on typing Chapter 6 and 7 later ... they are pretty short compared to the rest of the chapters.

NaruSakufluff4ever
07-08-2009, 05:53 PM
okay but hurry its 8:53 here :(

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-08-2009, 05:58 PM
It's 8:57 here ... well it takes about an hour or more to type most of the chapters ... (chapter four took 3 hours) ... and I have a couple things I need to do, it will be up soon though.

NaruSakufluff4ever
07-08-2009, 06:11 PM
okay oh great when u posted that it says the same time as my time so we is the same time zone:mrgreen:

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-08-2009, 07:11 PM
Chapter proofread.

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-08-2009, 07:59 PM
I might not post up Chapter 7 til tomorrow or the day after.

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-09-2009, 02:45 AM
Chapter proofread.

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-09-2009, 02:51 AM
I haven't prewritten the rest of the story so it might take longer for me to get the next chapter up, and who knows when it will finally be finished. I have 11 more chapters to write and here's the name for the rest in a spoiler if you want to read them.

hotaru uzumaki
07-09-2009, 03:43 AM
it is improving

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-09-2009, 03:49 AM
Thanks, I've edited the first post to describe the look of the graveyard, the father at the beginning of the story, the houses, the school, the mall, the church, and the teachers.

hotaru uzumaki
07-09-2009, 03:51 AM
yep,i saw it,although i stoped reading (your warning in the title) so,ya know

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-09-2009, 03:57 AM
Yeah well I have all the areas and people described now I believe, the only edits I believe I have to make throught these chapters are little spelling errors or grammatical errors such as double words I may have missed.

hotaru uzumaki
07-09-2009, 03:58 AM
also,i added a chapter 2 to mine

hotaru uzumaki
07-09-2009, 04:00 AM
http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showthread.php?t=6027

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-09-2009, 04:06 AM
Cool, I'll check it out thanks for the sort of critique I like hearing things like it's improving or it's really good but it could be better. Because when I hear I'm improving and let's me know my writing is just getting better and better, and when I hear that it could be better I aim for new heights and try my best to excel.

hotaru uzumaki
07-09-2009, 04:07 AM
it gets better with each chapter actualy

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-09-2009, 04:13 AM
Thanks that means a lot. Probably because the story gets deeper and deeper with each one. I strive for perfection, and that's what I'm looking to accomplish with it.

NaruSakufluff4ever
07-09-2009, 02:20 PM
epic dude!!!i cant believe that they are witches and wizards

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-09-2009, 02:34 PM
Thanks a lot, yeah it's the first of many twists in the story (since I don't consider the dog being a wolf a big time twist, actually fairly predicatable) but yes, I try my best to make sure my twists catch the readers off-guard, I love doing that. You like how I end my chapters in big climaxes that usually leave questions?

hotaru uzumaki
07-09-2009, 02:42 PM
Thanks a lot, yeah it's the first of many twists in the story (since I don't consider the dog being a wolf a big time twist, actually fairly predicatable) but yes, I try my best to make sure my twists catch the readers off-guard, I love doing that. You like how I end my chapters in big climaxes that usually leave questions?
while in mine,twists are very rare

NaruSakufluff4ever
07-09-2009, 03:52 PM
good either way and yes teh big climaxes are awesome i wish u described what she looked like!!!

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-09-2009, 03:58 PM
You mean Marie? I had her description in Chapter Four.

NaruSakufluff4ever
07-09-2009, 04:04 PM
no the video!!

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-09-2009, 04:12 PM
Ohh how Mrs. Able looks, well here's a small spoiler ... it's like the first paragraph of the next chapter.

animeJlover
07-09-2009, 04:22 PM
hey its good but only on ch 4 but r u sure no one will try and still ur idea u should get it copywright and published

NaruSakufluff4ever
07-09-2009, 04:22 PM
thats not a spoiler at all!!i tihnk

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-09-2009, 04:23 PM
It's a very minature spoiler, since it says something that's happening that I haven't wrote yet.

animeJlover
07-09-2009, 04:24 PM
your little baby you surely wouldn't him to die too now would you?", he asked.

its suppose to b wouldn't want him and u forgot the w in wind when u said larry's mom hair blow in the wind

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-09-2009, 04:29 PM
Thanks for pointing that out about the word wind, and isn't that what I wrote for the first part?

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-09-2009, 04:30 PM
Nevermind I see what you mean now, I left out want ... thanks

animeJlover
07-09-2009, 05:08 PM
u welcome friend, im also writing a book but urs is closer to bein done i kinda want mines to b a manga but it can b regular book first than if i send in for my book to b a manga than i would b glad,

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-09-2009, 05:17 PM
Haha mines not even halfway done yet ... it's eighteen chapters long and I'm just now getting close to writing number eight and then there's four more books, so basically I've still got a ways to go.

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-09-2009, 06:29 PM
Chapter 8 is finished I just have to type it up now, I'd expect it in about two - three hours at least. You're going to love it.

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-09-2009, 08:26 PM
Chapter proofread.

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-09-2009, 08:32 PM
Crap I made a small mistake that I'm going to fix Mrs. Pragmer is supposed to say Ms. Pragmer, not something that messes up the story too bad, but still a mistake.

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-09-2009, 08:35 PM
Okay the newest post and the original have been fixed with a couple things I noticed.

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-10-2009, 09:10 AM
Just want everyone to know, the title of the thread is now changed, and I probably won't be adding another chapter today.

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-10-2009, 10:26 AM
Spelling errors have been fixed in the original post (according to spell check), and a couple of spots were I noticed I missing a spacing between "paragraphs" has been fixed as well.

hotaru uzumaki
07-10-2009, 10:32 AM
yo maikeru

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-10-2009, 10:47 AM
Hey hotaru

hotaru uzumaki
07-10-2009, 10:48 AM
im about to write ch 4 of my novel

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-10-2009, 10:49 AM
Cool, I'll check it out later after you're done.

hotaru uzumaki
07-10-2009, 10:52 AM
Cool, I'll check it out later after you're done.
cool,i just got sone watching some urusei yatsura,wierd show

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-10-2009, 04:34 PM
The next week or two I may only get one or two chapters up, my best friend has a week off from the Marines now that Boot Camp is over. So now we will probably be hanging out a lot next week.

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-24-2009, 02:27 PM
Chapter 9 is now complete I just have to type it up!

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-24-2009, 04:32 PM
Chapter proofread.

NaruSakufluff4ever
07-25-2009, 08:07 AM
ooh, cool!this is great and freaky O.O he can use magic???my head is hurting...:mrgreen:

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-25-2009, 11:57 AM
ooh, cool!this is great and freaky O.O he can use magic???my head is hurting...:mrgreen:

Haha yeah basically, Larry's father knew magic, and Larry was training with Kevin to learn magic, and finally finished a spell after 6 months.

NaruSakufluff4ever
07-26-2009, 05:54 PM
dont u mean kevin was training larry?

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-26-2009, 06:01 PM
dont u mean kevin was training larry?

Ughh ... Yeah ^_^ that's what I meant.

NaruSakufluff4ever
07-26-2009, 06:10 PM
see, thats why my head was hurting ^.^

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-27-2009, 03:10 AM
I have a habit of confusing people.

NaruSakufluff4ever
07-27-2009, 10:35 AM
yup and RYAQUE IS LEAVING GO TO THE RYAQUE IS AWESOME IN OFF TOPIC TO VOTE FOR HER TO STAY

Bacon
12-09-2009, 11:22 AM
subscribed

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-09-2009, 11:24 AM
Awesomeness. :cool:
Hopefully, I will get into writing the next chapter soon. xD

Bacon
12-11-2009, 10:42 PM
chapter 3 lol, going on 4 xD

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-11-2009, 11:37 PM
Awesome comment. xD Says a lot. :mrgreen:

Bacon
12-12-2009, 12:58 AM
lol ill have my anaylisi @ the end ^^

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-12-2009, 01:07 AM
Okie Dokie .. even though the end is basically the middle right now.

Bacon
12-12-2009, 01:15 AM
nice :mrgreen: then mid point it is

Bacon
12-12-2009, 01:16 AM
nice :mrgreen: then mid point it is

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-12-2009, 01:21 AM
Yep, for now at least. ^^

BIG UPDATE: The titles of ALL the Chapters for ALL the Books has been put in spoilers at the bottom of the original post.

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-15-2009, 11:09 PM
Nice comment. :D

Bacon
12-15-2009, 11:14 PM
ok better comment,

so far the book is done rather well in terms of suspense and the story.I was a little peefed when nothing happened in the mall,becuase it made me think the evil puppy,reaper thing was coming. The plot flows nicely,but the scant action makes you wonder when the reaper will come out to play.:mrgreen:chapter four was great becuase you intorduced some new people, the lead role deserves screentime,but not all of it.

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-15-2009, 11:27 PM
ok better comment,

so far the book is done rather well in terms of suspense and the story.I was a little peefed when nothing happened in the mall,becuase it made me think the evil puppy,reaper thing was coming. The plot flows nicely,but the scant action makes you wonder when the reaper will come out to play.:mrgreen:chapter four was great becuase you intorduced some new people, the lead role deserves screentime,but not all of it.

Thank You for the compliment bacon. Yes, I am very much into story and suspense, and it will just get better as you go along. It is much more important to me than how "flashy" a story is. Yeah, I do that too .. make you wonder when he is going to strike next, I quite enjoy making people think. Yeah, don't worry, my lead character does not hog ALL the screentime.

Bacon
12-17-2009, 09:45 PM
chapter was interesting and caught my attention like chapter 2. The short burst of information regarding the true nature of the plot. i loved it ^^

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-17-2009, 09:55 PM
Thanks, which chapter was that?

Bacon
12-17-2009, 11:10 PM
5 lol, ^^ sorry

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-17-2009, 11:16 PM
Ohhh, yeah, I liked that one too. I still think Chapter 9 is beast though!! ^^

black chidori
12-18-2009, 11:26 AM
that was a good book

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-18-2009, 11:31 AM
that was a good book

Well Thank You! This is Book 1 and it's only half done right now.

Bacon
12-18-2009, 11:46 AM
lol im only as far as 6 o.O

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-18-2009, 03:18 PM
Chapter proofread.

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-19-2009, 09:39 AM
Typos in Chapter 10 have been edited.

Update: Chapter 11 SHOULD be up soon, but no promises.

Chapter 11: The first (well second) fight of the story shall take place.

The Reaper's Wolf vs. ?????

Bacon
12-19-2009, 09:43 AM
AHH!! no spoiler tags T_T
joke, lol that was a close 1, i almost read it
EDIT- im on chapter 6 xD

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-19-2009, 09:46 AM
AHH!! no spoiler tags T_T
joke, lol that was a close 1, i almost read it
EDIT- im on chapter 6 xD

You're Welcome!! ^^

EDIT - You've been on Chapter 6 since the other night. xD

Bacon
12-19-2009, 10:16 AM
i fell asleep xD and now i have to share my ps3 xDD

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-19-2009, 10:22 AM
:evil: Your sole purpose in life is TO READ MY STORY. :evil:

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-20-2009, 02:29 AM
Chapter proofread.

Bacon
12-22-2009, 09:26 AM
chapter 6 was awsome bwhaha

Bacon
12-22-2009, 09:39 AM
chapter 7, awsome, that dog should be euthanized -_-

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-22-2009, 09:59 AM
Thanks for the compliments. Why would you want the dog gone? ^^

Bacon
12-22-2009, 10:22 AM
Thanks for the compliments. Why would you want the dog gone? ^^

lol i wouldn't hes a good antagonist,but he killed mrs. able

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-22-2009, 10:27 AM
LOL, ohhh he does a lot more than just that. ^^

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-23-2009, 08:38 PM
Update: I figured out the secret to not getting my coding messed up, I think. So now every chapter is in the first post.

Zabimaru
12-28-2009, 08:35 PM
Talent is key. And talent is also what you have. It's excellent.

Ace adventurer
12-28-2009, 08:37 PM
I have talent! [sorry to brag]

Bacon
12-29-2009, 02:28 AM
woohoo, chapter 8 dome xD

Zabimaru
12-29-2009, 05:31 PM
I can't believe I did, but I finished up to chapter 16. It took me about an hour. It was an hour well spent. I found Chapter 16 to be most entertaining. Keep up the good work~

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-29-2009, 05:34 PM
I can't believe I did, but I finished up to chapter 16. It took me about an hour. It was an hour well spent. I found Chapter 16 to be most entertaining. Keep up the good work~

Glad you liked it. I take it that it was one of your favorites then?

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-29-2009, 06:00 PM
Added a poll for people reading this, you will notice I made votes too. Just so you know those are the characters I most enjoyed writing about. I also enjoyed little Ret Pragmer, but forgot to check the box for him. >//< The characters that aren't dead and I voted for have a good chance of playing a bigger role later or having a deeper story added to what they already have. *wink* *wink*

Zabimaru
12-29-2009, 07:34 PM
Yeah, chapter 16 was my favorite so far. I enjoyed 9 and 11 as my favorites as well. But 16 surpassed them. The battle was epic. And, as you know, I voted on the poll.

I forgot to vote for Ron though. >.< I love how he creates conflict in the story outside of all the magic, wizards, and witches. It's actually pretty entertaining.

Also, I love how you develpoed the main characters, such as Larry. He seems to have grown up so much since the beggining of the story.

ALSO, I know a couple more people who intend on reading it. Just thought i'd leave you with that note.

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-29-2009, 07:42 PM
Yeah, chapter 16 was my favorite so far. I enjoyed 9 and 11 as my favorites as well. But 16 surpassed them. The battle was epic. And, as you know, I voted on the poll.

I forgot to vote for Ron though. >.< I love how he creates conflict in the story outside of all the magic, wizards, and witches. It's actually pretty entertaining.

Also, I love how you develpoed the main characters, such as Larry. He seems to have grown up so much since the beggining of the story.

ALSO, I know a couple more people who intend on reading it. Just thought i'd leave you with that note.

I'm glad, 16 and 9 were my favorite two chapters to right. 11 was the third funnest for me, I never thought I would be that wonderful with the fights, but I am proud of myself. Did you like the fights in Chapter 14?

Yeah, he is easy to forget at the moment, and I plan on him being one of the more funny characters in the future. Ron will have a bigger role, I thought him up as I writing Chapter 10 to be honest. I figured the school needed more conflict.

I'm glad, I've been told my character development is impressive. At first, Larry was more of an emotion-bottler, as you can see after he admitted his fears he became more grown up in a way.

Awesome, I love having as many readers as I can get. Hopefully, this will be on bookshelves one day.

Seven
12-29-2009, 07:43 PM
that is a good story i tell u wat

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-29-2009, 07:44 PM
that is a good story i tell u wat

Thank you dude! Glad you enjoy it. ^^

Zabimaru
12-29-2009, 07:57 PM
Wait, which fights were those? >.< When I read it all at once, I get lost in it so I don't remember which fights were in which chapters. Not your fault, I just don't pay enough attention to those kinds of details. Were they the three seperate fights with Larry, Eric, and Kevin?

It was good that you thought of school conflict. It's just another small bonus in your story that actually turns out to be quite enjoyable.

It's hard to believe that it hasn't even been a year in the book so far. He just seems so much more grown up than at the beggining. With the 6 months they spent training, I assume it's only been around 7 months since the very beggining of the book?

If you keep up the good work and put a little money into it, anything is possible. Like I have said before: I'd definetely buy it.

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-29-2009, 08:06 PM
Wait, which fights were those? >.< When I read it all at once, I get lost in it so I don't remember which fights were in which chapters. Not your fault, I just don't pay enough attention to those kinds of details. Were they the three seperate fights with Larry, Eric, and Kevin?

It was good that you thought of school conflict. It's just another small bonus in your story that actually turns out to be quite enjoyable.

It's hard to believe that it hasn't even been a year in the book so far. He just seems so much more grown up than at the beggining. With the 6 months they spent training, I assume it's only been around 7 months since the very beggining of the book?

If you keep up the good work and put a little money into it, anything is possible. Like I have said before: I'd definetely buy it.

Yes, you are correct. That was the fight with the three guardians. You enjoy them? I wanted to put something where they needed to think to win in their fights, and I kind of said the first idea that came to mind.

With the school being not as big as the magic part of the story, I figure I need to make the characters very enjoyable. Sarcasm seems like that kind of thing.

Yeah, well I figured he needed to grow up, the 6 months of training gave me a chance at some behind the scenes growing up. You are correct, it's been about 7 months in this span.

I actually thrive to make these books as good as they can be, I want to be a writer. The only reason I am posting this on here is to get people who would be interested before I possibly get it published. I'd buy it too. xD

Zabimaru
12-29-2009, 08:33 PM
Well, they were a little bland to say the truth. Just because they weren't that long. They seemed to just fly by in the blink of an eye. Like in Eric's fight, he seemed to figure it out just like that and didn't waste anytime killing his opponent. Although, I really liked Larry's fight the most. Mostly just because of all of his opponents and the detail you put into it.

Sarcasm is the perfect touch to put into those minor parts such as the school. It's all these small details that I enjoy.

The behind the scenes growing up was a great touch. I'm sure having the way it is, is much better than going through what he did like every day. That probably would have bored me to tears. So, nice choice.

In my opinion you would succeed as a writer. But I'm no proffessional. Just a guy who enjoys a good book such as this. The more followers you get beforehand, the more likely you will have people buying it.

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-29-2009, 08:41 PM
Well, they were a little bland to say the truth. Just because they weren't that long. They seemed to just fly by in the blink of an eye. Like in Eric's fight, he seemed to figure it out just like that and didn't waste anytime killing his opponent. Although, I really liked Larry's fight the most. Mostly just because of all of his opponents and the detail you put into it.

Sarcasm is the perfect touch to put into those minor parts such as the school. It's all these small details that I enjoy.

The behind the scenes growing up was a great touch. I'm sure having the way it is, is much better than going through what he did like every day. That probably would have bored me to tears. So, nice choice.

In my opinion you would succeed as a writer. But I'm no proffessional. Just a guy who enjoys a good book such as this. The more followers you get beforehand, the more likely you will have people buying it.

Yeah, I wasn't planning on making the fights very long considering that they were just sort of filler fights really. I like to put as much detail into the fights as possible considering that there is no actual visual image. I figured you might like the way I left Larry's fight in a critical spot to go to Eric and Kevin. I personally liked the way Altaria died the most, with the way Kevin killed him.

Definitely, I am really into sarcasm so I had to have some character to do that.

That would have been boring to say "And today Larry did this" and "The next day Larry did that". The truth is he had this maturity inside of him just waiting to release it.

Well, I'll take your word for it. Everyone who has really read this so far has liked it, and most of them say that my writing got better and better as it went on. I'm working on getting as many followers as I can. You know to get the word spread.

Zabimaru
12-29-2009, 09:13 PM
Filler was kinda the word I was thinking of. xD Well, as far as the fights go. I really like them. They're even better the more detail you place in them. If it was a movie... Well, yeah I've said that a milion times. xD Also how Larry was given the chance for help but he denied it. Classic. Although, after that I hadn't really expected Eric or Kevin to help Larry with The Grim Reaper for that very same reason.

He's the little smarta** in the book who brings it all together with his personal conflict between him and Larry.

Yeah, unless you made it completely different every day with a few things going on. But that would have been completely time consuming and just like one huge filler. Now that he's more of a complez character it shines some more light on the entire story.

Yeah, I saw that as well. The later chapters were much more entertaining and just all around better. I've told a few people on here that I've been reading it and it's very good. Some said that they might read it. I would like a bigger dicussion on the book if more people decided to read it. That could be rather interesting.

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-29-2009, 09:24 PM
Filler was kinda the word I was thinking of. xD Well, as far as the fights go. I really like them. They're even better the more detail you place in them. If it was a movie... Well, yeah I've said that a milion times. xD Also how Larry was given the chance for help but he denied it. Classic. Although, after that I hadn't really expected Eric or Kevin to help Larry with The Grim Reaper for that very same reason.

He's the little smarta** in the book who brings it all together with his personal conflict between him and Larry.

Yeah, unless you made it completely different every day with a few things going on. But that would have been completely time consuming and just like one huge filler. Now that he's more of a complez character it shines some more light on the entire story.

Yeah, I saw that as well. The later chapters were much more entertaining and just all around better. I've told a few people on here that I've been reading it and it's very good. Some said that they might read it. I would like a bigger dicussion on the book if more people decided to read it. That could be rather interesting.

Yep, I mean the filler fights still fit in with the story, but they just weren't as important as other things. If it was a movie the fights would a necessity just due to what happens at the end. As you can see, when I started out my attention to detail was not all that great, but it got better and better I think. My character and background description could be better, but I like to leave some room for imagination. Yeah, when I first started writing the chapter, I planned on like a three-on-three battle with Larry, Kevin and Eric versus The Reaper, Nyx and Mr. Able, but I decided the first book at least should just be Larry versus The Reaper.

And to think, I didn't think up Ron's character until he randomly popped into my head. He'll be a bit of comic relief too.

That would be totally boring, in my opinion. I felt like just getting into his true character, getting down under his skin. No one wants a Gary-Stue as the main character, which is what he started off as. I realized my main character need more interest and implied my writing skills to him.

Awesome, well the main reason my future chapters were better is because I put more attention to detail and made the characters more interesting instead of all-happy, let's have a wonderuful life characters. I also wrote the first nine chapters when I was like 17 and 18, I've wrote Chapters 10-16 in the past week or so, and my writing skills have greatly improved from the time I was 17 and 18. I would love to have a bigger conversation on it.

Zabimaru
12-29-2009, 09:43 PM
When in a movie not as much detail would have to be put into the fights, just because you can see it for yourself. The character backgrounds could use a little work. But yeah, it leaves me mind free to wander and imagine. Wise choice. It leaves a lot more room for other things to happen in later books and chapters.

In the overall scheme of things, I'm just happy you decided to include him.

Well, by other things I was thinking more like side opponents. But that would be crossing into another realm of fillers. Could lead to be entertaining, but more likely it'd just be a waste of time. It's good you did, it adds a whole other side to him and overall just makes him better for the present and future of his life.

It'd be best to go over them again and improve them as much as you can before trying to make it big. The more tormented the characters the better. xD But first we need to spread the word a little more.

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-29-2009, 10:01 PM
When in a movie not as much detail would have to be put into the fights, just because you can see it for yourself. The character backgrounds could use a little work. But yeah, it leaves me mind free to wander and imagine. Wise choice. It leaves a lot more room for other things to happen in later books and chapters.

In the overall scheme of things, I'm just happy you decided to include him.

Well, by other things I was thinking more like side opponents. But that would be crossing into another realm of fillers. Could lead to be entertaining, but more likely it'd just be a waste of time. It's good you did, it adds a whole other side to him and overall just makes him better for the present and future of his life.

It'd be best to go over them again and improve them as much as you can before trying to make it big. The more tormented the characters the better. xD But first we need to spread the word a little more.

True, the fights will look very nice on a big screen. ^^ *hint hint Hollywood* Yeah, I will add more onto the characters as the story goes along, at least a select few characters, such as Kevin, Mr. Shallowgorve, Mr. Able and Ron.

I'm glad I put Ron in too, I think he will be a very fun character for me to write about.

Ehhh, if I add side opponents they will be minimal and have some sort of connection to the overall story. Kind of like I did with the three guardians in Chapter 14. Yeah, the main character especially needs and interesting character and lots of depth.

Well, I will go back over Chapters 1-8 probably and see what I can do, I think I will keep Chapter 4 the same due to it's large length. xD The others, however, need some attention. Chapter 5 could be longer for instance.

Zabimaru
12-29-2009, 10:24 PM
Yeah, I hope there's more to them than we see. 0.o It'll make my mind work even more. xD

And just as fun to read about.

Hmm, are you planning on The Reaper to be there in the fifth book? Wait, no you can't answer that. it would give away FAR too much about what is to come.

I'll probably re-read them just to see the changes and give you my opinion on them.

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-29-2009, 10:45 PM
Yeah, I hope there's more to them than we see. 0.o It'll make my mind work even more. xD

And just as fun to read about.

Hmm, are you planning on The Reaper to be there in the fifth book? Wait, no you can't answer that. it would give away FAR too much about what is to come.

I'll probably re-read them just to see the changes and give you my opinion on them.

There is definitely much more to all of them, Mr. Shallowgrove and Ron have quite a bit of character development I have already thought up. Eric will have some more development too.

Yes, which is important.

I don't mind you asking, if you are very curious, just ask me via PM. I don't mind telling, it might give a spoiler though.

Alright, that sounds good, I will let you do that. ^^

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-30-2009, 11:36 AM
I have proofread my chapters ... for the most part, especially Chapters 1-8 which needed more work.

Zabimaru
12-30-2009, 12:14 PM
The more development and depth you include in your characters the more life like they will apear to be. Which will help people relate to them more. And continue to interest them in each character in a specific way and help them pick their favorites.

Well, like I said I think I might ruin a little too much about the book for me. So, I'll just wait and continue to just go with all of the surprises that pop up. Because I enjoy being surprised in your stories.

There hasn't been much I've noticed so far except for the things I have mentioned to you. But constructive critisism and feed back is what helps everyone to futher understand it, and help you even increase on your work value.

Jinchiruuki
12-30-2009, 02:01 PM
Dangit Mikei slow down XD my ADHD cannot keep up with your awesomeness

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-30-2009, 02:08 PM
Wow, a reader telling a writer to slow down. That is a first. xD

Zabimaru
12-30-2009, 02:11 PM
Just read as fast as I do. xD I'll be done with the 17th chapter. 10-20 minutes sounds like a fair assessment. xD

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-30-2009, 02:14 PM
DAMN this editing crap!!! *goes to find the post with chapters 10-17* GRRRR!!!

Zabimaru
12-30-2009, 02:23 PM
Hahah, I would gladly edit it. -Hastoo much time on his hands lately-

Jinchiruuki
12-30-2009, 02:27 PM
Just read as fast as I do. xD I'll be done with the 17th chapter. 10-20 minutes sounds like a fair assessment. xD

My attention span is that of a gold fish. I will read a sentence and my mind will wander with thoughts of perpetual randomness.


Mega Ultra Pie :shock: :What English word is nine letters long, and can remain an English word at each step as you remove one letter at a time, right down to a single letter. List the letter you remove each time and the words that result at each step.

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-30-2009, 02:34 PM
It's cool, I have it edited again. Hopefully, that will be the last time I have to edit it.

Zabimaru
12-30-2009, 02:34 PM
Mine does that too. But I shortly regain conciousness and continue to read on. I just try to stay focused by reading with music playing.

I'll tell you if I spot anything else, like I always do.

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-30-2009, 03:20 PM
Post fixed ... AGAIN

Zabimaru
12-31-2009, 12:44 PM
A think that was a good idea. You can end this book and then give us a little time untill you start the next one.

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-31-2009, 12:45 PM
A think that was a good idea. You can end this book and then give us a little time untill you start the next one.

Thanks, I wanted to get something done at midnight, so now I can just do it like this. Revenge of The Reaper begins at midnight.

Zabimaru
12-31-2009, 12:56 PM
Nice advertisement. xD Are you going to start another thtead for your new book? Or just continue here?

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-31-2009, 01:34 PM
Another thread, I already made it.

Zabimaru
12-31-2009, 02:06 PM
Alright. I'll be there shortly after New Years to read chapter 1 of your new book.

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-31-2009, 02:25 PM
Awesome dude! Have you read Chapter 18 of this one yet?

Zabimaru
12-31-2009, 02:45 PM
I'm half way through and reading as we type.

AgentShayd
12-31-2009, 03:09 PM
Well I can honestly say Master Dear Arby's when you are famous please don't forget us little ppl...^^

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-31-2009, 03:44 PM
Well I can honestly say Master Dear Arby's when you are famous please don't forget us little ppl...^^

I'll see what I can do.

Zabimaru
01-01-2010, 04:00 AM
Yeah, can I get an autograph ahead of time? =P

Maikeru D. Shinigami
01-01-2010, 08:18 AM
Sure, I can give you my autograph.

*takes something and makes random scribbley drawings on it* =P

Zabimaru
01-01-2010, 11:59 AM
Nice signature. =P (That's what mine usually look like. xD) You'll probably need mine considering one day I will be famous for something. xD
I have just read up to when the boys stopped plaaying pool, so I'm gonna wait maybe an hour or so untill I continue with chapter 18 and chapter 1 of your new book.

Maikeru D. Shinigami
01-01-2010, 12:02 PM
Thanks, I pride myself on my ability to make my signature completely not understandable. It changes every time I sign. xD
Ohh cool, yeah pool is one of my favorite pasttimes so I figured I'd throw it in to end off the book. What do you think of what you have read so far?

Maikeru D. Shinigami
06-21-2010, 09:31 PM
Chapter One, has been edited for grammar, and should be finished. Will edit more later.

ONIMUSHA
06-22-2010, 09:23 AM
nice dude you finished

Vatanui AKA Pride
06-22-2010, 10:24 AM
What method did you use to get it copyrighted?

Maikeru D. Shinigami
06-22-2010, 12:05 PM
Paid like $35 over the interweb.

Vatanui AKA Pride
06-22-2010, 03:04 PM
Who'd you paid it to?

Are you going to reformat it into a book or something?

Maikeru D. Shinigami
06-22-2010, 03:05 PM
I plan on publishing it.

Vatanui AKA Pride
06-22-2010, 03:11 PM
Good luck.

Are you going to publish it in the near future or a few years later?

Maikeru D. Shinigami
06-22-2010, 03:13 PM
As soon as I finish proofreading.

Kuroda Taishi
06-22-2010, 03:16 PM
Publishing is not that hard. Making people aware that it exists, getting them to read it, and getting them to buy it is the hard part.

Maikeru D. Shinigami
06-22-2010, 03:18 PM
Yeah, I have plenty of people that I've advertised to who said they'd buy it. And a few who said they would spread the word. =]

Kuroda Taishi
06-22-2010, 03:20 PM
If you say so

Zabimaru
06-14-2011, 05:19 PM
I never really got to finish reading all of these. I would like to continue.

Shikamaru Nara
06-15-2011, 11:41 AM
Copyright and six books? Well done. Maybe I'll read them!

Jonesy
06-15-2011, 11:55 AM
Very nice.

Shikamaru Nara
06-15-2011, 12:01 PM
I just realized there's nothing in the OP. ;_;
I have to buy them?

Kreegah!!!
10-02-2011, 11:06 AM
Yes, Shika. 36 fresh ones for the Trade Cloth. Start saving!

Bacon
10-02-2011, 11:07 AM
D:http://naruto.viz.com/forum/asdad

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-25-2011, 03:05 PM
Book reposted.

Shikamaru Nara
12-25-2011, 06:50 PM
I'll read this for sure. I'll sub it.

Devroux
12-26-2011, 12:22 AM
This'll take forever! Dx

Maikeru D. Shinigami
12-26-2011, 12:45 AM
You'll eventually catch up. >_>

Maikeru D. Shinigami
01-11-2012, 06:04 AM
PROLOGUE

Twelve Years Earlier

“Because he is an ;););););););) and someone has to stop him,” the frightened man shouted, dashing through a field of grass with his wife.

Annabelle was a few paces behind him, holding tightly to her baby. “Of course, but why does it have to be like this?”

“The Reaper has allies. We can’t trust someone else with the responsibility of watching Phillip. It’s far too dangerous, Anna.”

“This is our son Henry! I just ... I can't do that.”

“Logic would dictate that carrying him with us is the best option.”

“I don’t buy that crap Henry. We have friends that have the power to protect him. We have allies too!”

“And what will you do if one of our allies turns out to be a double agent? You’d be taking our child to his death,”

Annabelle stopped abruptly. “The person I have in mind is better than that. Cornelius would lay down his life for us.”

Henry stopped and turned to her. "Will he even be around?”

The look on his wife's face belied her determination.

Henry gave her a nod and Annabelle ran off.



Henry ran under a sign marked ‘Hel’s Graveyard’. He saw the familiar tombstones and dead trees. Lightning struck the ground behind him, the force slamming him into the ground. A scythe pointed down at him. Standing over him was a large robed figure and a vicious-looking black German Shepherd.

“Glad to see you again Mr. Pragmer. I was beginning to worry that you wouldn’t show. Where are the woman and child?”

“They’re getting as far away from you as they can.”

“You disappoint me Henry. They are no safer out there than they would be here. You should know that.” The Reaper sat on a tombstone. “You’ve become such a miserable little man. What happened to the old Henry?”

“I grew up. My stubbornness was foolish. Other people’s opinions are just as valuable as my own.”

“You sell yourself short. I know more than anyone just how superior your opinions really are.  I used to value them so greatly after all.”

“And that’s why you’ve turned into this.”

The Reaper clenched his chest. “Ouch, that hurts Henry. Here I thought we had grown to be such great friends. Since I was wrong, I'll have to take action.”

Henry stood up, brushing his jeans off. “Do what you want. I’m tired of your ;);););););););).”

“So rude! Oh well, I guess I knew this day was coming. If that’s really what you want, then show me your drive!”

“Gladly”, Henry held his hand upward. A wooden bat with nails sticking out dropped into his hand. He swung it forward as his attack was blocked by the blade of the scythe. The dog jumped at him. Sidestepping, he was able to avoid being bitten and kicked forward at The Reaper’s chest. But his leg was caught.

He fell to the ground with the force from a clothesline. Immediately he had to roll along the ground, avoiding the slashes of the scythe. Kicking upward, he knocked his foe back and stumbled to his feet. Swinging his bat forward, he lunged. A skeletal hand caught the attack in its bare hands.

“We’ve been over this a thousand times Henry. Such weak attacks won’t even faze me.”

“That wasn’t my attack.”

He held his free palm up to The Reaper’s chest as a force of wind protruded, knocking him into a tombstone. The dog pounced onto Henry’s back, holding him down to the ground. It bit at his face a few times, but he was quick enough to dodge them. Picking up his bat, he smashed it into the dog.

He stumbled back up to his feet and turned around. An elbow catching his chest, he dropped his weapon. With a knee to the head, he fell to the ground. His weapon was kicked across the graveyard as he tried to grab it, leaving him helpless. The Reaper pointed his scythe downward, “Henry Pragmer, today is the day your life expires. Is there anything else you wish to say?”



Annabelle slammed through the church doors shouting, “Cornelius, where are you? I need your help.”

She met the gaze of a cloaked man. She held her baby closer. “Who are you? Where is Cornelius?”

“I apologize. Cornelius will not be joining us this evening. He has gone away.”

Annabelle’s eyes widened, “No, you didn’t. There’s no way he’s dead.”

Why do so many people think I'm bad? Must be the damn robe ... I could try dressing more civilized. There's no time now though.[/i] "Cornelius is alive."

“Care to elaborate?”

The stranger sighed. “I needed to get him away from here so I forged a false message from his superiors, telling him he was needed.”

“Is he far - can I wait for him?”

“I greatly advise against waiting. The Reaper will kill your husband unless you go to him. I’m here to help you.”

“Why would you help me?”

“I've watched you and your family. I see the way you love each other and it reminds me of my family. I couldn’t save them, but you still have a chance. If you want that chance though, you’re going to need my help. Henry has been dead for four minutes ago. I will send you back in time five minutes. If you run to him, you should have just enough time to help him.”

“How do I know you’re not lying to me?”

“What other option do you have?”

She nodded. She had no argument and she didn’t feel that he was lying. She placed her baby on a pew and pointed her palms at him.

“What’s that?” the man asked.

“It’s a barrier. I didn’t want to have to use one, but there’s no choice now. If you have some ulterior motive, I can’t let you hurt my child.”

He grinned. “Fair enough. Grab my hand.”

She did as he asked, feeling a powerful energy rush through her body as she disappeared. Suddenly, she stood in the graveyard with the stranger next to her.

“Where is my baby?” Annabelle asked.

“Don’t worry, he’s safe.”

“Without you, I wouldn’t have stood a chance. Thank you for that.”

“I just wish I could have been of more assistance.”

The man walked away as Annabelle turned to find Henry.



The Reaper swung his scythe at Henry but was blocked by a knife. Annabelle knocked him down with a knee to the chest. He immediately got to his feet, barking an order to his dog.

It jumped her as she dropped the knife and bit at her face repeatedly, Henry rushed to his bat. A figure emerged from a cloud of black smoke before him, smacking him with the handle of his scythe. With a final swing, the blade pierced his heart; a sick grin on the face of its wielder. Henry's body fell limp as The Reaper stood above him and cackled.

“No!” Annabelle shouted.

She pointed her hand toward the bat. It flew at the dog, knocking it off her. She ran forward, but a head smashed into her chin from another cloud of black smoke. She looked up. Is this really the end? Is there nothing more I can do?

He sat casually on a tombstone, and called to his dog, “Sic her!”

Obeying its master, the animal rushed at her. She held her palm out as her knife flew back into her hands. Stabbing the beast in the heart, it went lifeless. She pushed the dog off and pointed the knife at her other opponent. “This is for my husband.” she sobbed, lunging toward the figure in the cloak.

The Reaper disappeared in a black swirling vortex and Annabelle found herself, once again, in the church with the man who had tried to help her. “That coward, he ran away.”

“No,” said the stranger, “I sensed his life force drain entirely.”

“Then, is he dead?”

The man shrugged. “The only thing certain is that you were unable to beat fate.”



The murders that took place that summer led to rumors, and eventually legends of a serial killer with the alias ‘Grim Reaper’. No one ever got the story right, an none knew how accurate that moniker was.

Maikeru D. Shinigami
01-12-2012, 11:17 AM
Rewrote chapter 1 this time.


Chapter 1

The Awakening


“Phillip, it’s time to get up,” a woman yelled from down the stairs, “We’ve got a busy day of shopping for school supplies ahead of us. Wake up!”

Phillip, who was already barely awake, responded to his mother’s yelling by grunting and rolling around in his bed. After a few more seconds, he finally got onto his back and looked at the ceiling, when he shouted back to his mom, “I’m going to start coming down right now mother. Just have to go ahead and get dressed.”

Phillip walked to his dresser and violently threw his clothes across the room as he looked for the perfect outfit to wear. After a minute or two of throwing his clothes around his room and making his room all dirty, he finally found something to wear. He grabbed the pair of clothes he wanted to wear, quickly threw them on and then grabbed his wallet. Just as he was about to walk out of his room however, he saw something strange out in the distance from his window he'd never noticed before. Quickly, he ran back to his dresser, opened the top drawer and looked around throughout it. After a couple seconds, he pulled out a notebook, placed it on the top of his dresser and pulled a pen out of a little box on top of his dresser. Phillip placed the pen on the paper and then began to write:

August 1st, 2007
Dear Journal,
I just noticed something strange outside my window
But have no idea what it is, however it looked a lot like a -.


Ms. Pragmer yelled back up the stairs before Phillip could finish writing his sentence, “Phillip, come on. We’ve got to get going.”

Phillip quickly finished the sentence in his journal and then placed it back in his dresser, then placed the pen back in its box. He then shut the drawer and ran to the top of the stairs. Phillip was rather short, but not ridiculously short, considering he was only thirteen years old. In total, he stood at around five-foot-one. His brown hair went down to about shoulder length and his green eyes were pointed at the stairs as he walked out of his room. He had a pretty normal build for his age. He never really got out and exercised much, but even without abs or any hugely defining features, he was still not an unattractive boy, at least. On that day, he was wearing a blue shirt which said, ‘Don’t let your mind wander. It’s much too small to be outside by itself’. As for everything else, he also wore some black shorts along with his plain white tennis shoes. His socks, which were also white, could be seen going slightly above his shoes, up to the lower area of his shins. The boy walked down the stairs and said to his mom, “Alright, I’m dressed now, and ready to go.”

Ms. Pragmer was also fairly short, but not ridiculously short either, for a woman. She was about five-foot-four, and had dazzling long blonde hair that flowed down to the middle of her of her spine, which went well with her radiant blue eyes. At the time, she was wearing a white tank top which fit her pretty tightly, as anyone who looked at her could pretty much make out her entire figure. At least she was wearing a little blue bra over her average sized breasts though, as otherwise she would have been leaving little to the imagination. From her waist down, she wore a pair of tight blue jeans, which ran all the way down to her ankles. Over her jeans, she had a pair of black high-heeled boot which ran up to around the middle of her shins, which made her appear about two inches taller. She looked at her son who was about half way down the stairs and started walking out the door, “Lock the door,” she demanded.

Phillip hurried the rest of his way down the stairs and followed his mother out the door. As he walked out, he did as his mother asked and locked the bottom lock of the door. When he turned around his mother had already opened the door of the vehicle, which was a little blue 2004 Ford Fusion. It wasn’t exactly a Mustang or anything, but Phillip loved the car. It was pretty and never broke down on them. Phillip opened the passenger seat door and jumped into his seat before shutting the door behind him. As he jumped in, his mother told him to put his seat belt on. Phillip did as his mother asked and buckled himself in before saying, “I know mother.”

"I’m just making sure son. I wouldn’t want to lose you too,” Ms. Pragmer responded.

“I know mother. Don’t worry about it. I’m not going to go finding ways to get myself put into trouble,” Phillip chuckled.

Ms. Pragmer smiled at him, but deep inside she had a bad feeling Phillip didn’t know what she was saying. She had already lost his father to The Reaper, and every day she feared that he would return and take Phillip’s life. She had lived in fear for her son for many years. While she wanted to be more protective, she also had a hard time saying no whenever her son wanted to do something. She was always worried that if she didn’t allow him to do some things that he would turn into a rebellious teenager. She looked back at him after they worked their way down the road as she had thought up a new subject, “So, are you ready for your first day of High School?” she asked as she waited for Phillip’s response. Phillip was staring out the window at the time, and apparently didn’t notice his mother had asked him a question as he didn’t answer her. After a few seconds, Ms. Pragmer said in a louder voice, “Son, did you hear me?”

Phillip heard her that time as he turned away from the window and then answer, “Oh, sorry, I was just looking out the window at the empty field on the side of the road.”

Ms. Pragmer sighed. "Son, I swear sometimes you just don't listen to me. As I was trying to ask, are you ready for your first day of High School.

Phillip thought about it for a second, but was trying to think of how exactly to answer the question, “In a way I am.”

"What do you mean?" Ms. Pragmer asked as she turned down another road which was lined with houses on either side.

"Well, I’m ready to get into High School at it means I will be one step closer to getting out of school,” Phillip began, “I’m just a little worried is all. I heard that the seniors at High Schools like to spend time picking on freshman. I feel like a bit of a dork too, so I don’t see how it would be any different for me.”

"You are not a dork son," Ms. Pragmer replied as she tried to make Phillip feel better about High School. Simply telling him he wasn’t a dork didn’t help much though.

"Thanks mother, but you’re obligated to say that to me. You’re not a student at my school, so you don’t how I am,” Phillip said.

"I seriously doubt that sweetie and sometimes these so-called dorks are better than they seem, and normally, better than those 'cool' people, don't you remember the story of John Pickett? He was considered a dork in school and grew up to be a famous astronaut. Sometimes being a bit of a dork can actually even turn out to be a great thing," Ms. Pragmer smiled.

“Yeah, but there’s nothing special about me,” Phillip sighed, "I mean look at me I don't have the skills to be an astronaut. I can’t draw a straight line even with a ruler. My grades are pretty average. Nothing about me really stands out. I’m kind of pathetic.”

"You’re not pathetic son, and it wouldn’t mean anything even if you weren’t especially skilled at anything. As long as I’m around, you have nothing to worry about. You can stay in my house as long as you want figuring out what you want to do. You are only thirteen right now anyways, so I wouldn’t expect you to know right now. Remember Matthew 6:21 says that where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. If you store up your treasures for God he will be happy and in the end you will find something to make you happy as well," Ms. Pragmer replied.

"I guess that’s true mother. Thanks for everything," Phillip responded.

She wasn't one-hundred percent sure she got through to him, but decided to drop the subject, "So you want to put on some music?"

"Yeah, how about some Creed mom?" he asked.

"Okay,” Ms. Pragmer nodded as she flipped down her visor and looked for a CD while she stopped at a stop sign. It took her a couple seconds but she found the CD and then placed it in the car’s CD player. They went down the road listening to the music, as Phillip sang the song ‘My Sacrifice’ along with the band.

After about 10 minutes of riding, they arrived at the mall. It wasn’t especially large, but it was big enough to hold all the stores that most people would want. The two opened their doors and walked their way to the front door of the mall after locking the doors to the call. When they walked in they found themselves in a very well organized mall. They stood in a section with four paths to choose from. One side was really short, but much larger than the others in width as it just contained the food court. One side had all your entertainment needs. It had places like FYE, and GameStop. The third of the paths was where all the clothing stores could be found. It had places such as Hot Topic, Hollister, Pac Sun, and other various stores, and was by far the largest of the paths. The last path had all the miscellaneous items featuring stores such as Spencers, K-Mart, and other stores with mixed material. Ms. Pragmer looked at the boy and asked him, “So, are you ready to shop?”

"Yeah, let's get going," Phillip answered.

The mall was abnormally busy that day due to last minute school shoppers, but they were used to it since they were always late to shop. Ms. Pragmer looked around and said, "So where do you want to go first?"

"Hmm, I want to stop by Spencers first, they have the backpack that I want," Phillip responded.

"Alright then, to Spencers," agreed Ms. Pragmer.

They walked about half way down the miscellaneous path before finding the store. They both looked at the sign and then walked in. Phillip walked straight to the backpacks as Ms. Pragmer followed closely behind him. The store was really neat looking. It was pretty dark and it had neon lights shining. There were a lot of little items to look at. There were small action figures from certain movies, lots of various clothes, wallets, backpacks and much more. Ms. Pragmer stayed close, making sure Phillip didn't go to the 'mature' section as she picked up a backpack, "This one looks nice," she said.

"Yeah, but it's not the one I'm looking for," Phillip replied as he searched through the backpacks trying to find the one he wanted.

"Why don't you tell me what it looks like? Maybe I can help you find it, hun," Ms. Pragmer asked.

"There it is," Phillip said as he pulled out a really nice camouflage backpack, "Yes, they still have the Linkin Park backpack I've been wanting. I was beginning to think they had sold out."

"Well it looks like that’s the one you want so let's pay for it," Ms. Pragmer smiled as she followed Phillip and watched him stick the backpack up on the counter, "How much is it anyway?" Ms. Pragmer asked as she looked at the boy.

"Forty-two dollars and twenty-seven cents," the cashier behind the counter said. The boy was rather scary looking to Ms. Pragmer. He was around five-foot-ten, but was dressed in some pretty dark clothing. His shirt was a black band shirt that said ‘Disturbed’ on it, and had a picture of a hooded man raising his fist in the air on it. She had never heard of ‘Disturbed’ so she was a bit confused with what it meant. The cashier also wore some black pants from a brand called Tripp. They were black with little green lines sewed into them. On his pants, there were also chains that could be taken off via Velcro. As for his looks, he wore a Mohawk that was dyed red. He had one piercing which was in his left eyebrow. He looked a bit dark, but in reality, he was actually a really nice guy.

"Excuse me," Ms. Pragmer replied, "Forty-two dollars and twenty-seven cents?"

"Yes," the cashier answered.

"Oh I almost forgot Mom here you go," Phillip said as he handed the man three cards. "They should get us thirty percent off, ten percent for each."

The cashier nodded as he rung up the cards and gave a price that Ms. Pragmer was more pleased with, “Twenty-nine dollars and fifty-nine cents.”

"That's better," Ms. Pragmer responded as she pulled a twenty dollar bill and a ten dollar bill out of her purse then handed it to the cashier.

The cashier took the money and placed it in the register before pulling out the change and handing it to Ms. Pragmer, “Your change is forty-one cents. Thank you for shopping at Spencers, have a great day,” he smiled.

Ms. Pragmer didn’t say anything in response, but Phillip said thank you as they walked to the door and then out of the store.

The cashier from Spencers watched the two of them as they walked out the door and waved at Phillip as he went out. The cashier then walked over to a section with a bunch of small items and pulled out a pack of a small, red liquid blood and brought it back to the counter. He placed it under the scanner and paid for his item before looking back at the door, “So that boy was Phillip Pragmer. I’ll see you again soon.”

Phillip and his mother looked around the mall as Phillip continued pointing at places to go for the rest of his supplies. They went to K-Mart and got three Pirates of the Caribbean folders as well as two Harry Potter notebooks. The K-Mart was well lit, and it was rather big for that particular store it had various odds and ends as it was practically a miniature Wal-Mart. Phillip got a few clothes from K-Mart as well, but also got a few pairs from Hot Topic. The Hot Topic however was not lit as well, it was a fairly small store but had some really cool items that Phillip liked, and it played some rock music that Phillip really enjoyed.

After paying for the last few items in Hot Topic, Phillip and his mother walked back out to the center of the mall. Ms. Pragmer looked at Phillip and asked, “Is that everything?”

"Yes it is," Phillip answered as he looked around the mall. After looking for a few seconds, he got excited, "Is that,” he paused, “Yes it is him. Mom, can I go say hey to Eric first?" he asked as he pointed at a boy down the entertainment path.

"Okay," Ms. Pragmer replied, "But hurry up we need to get back home."

"It'll only be a minute," Phillip insisted as he walked away, "Eric, hey Eric," Phillip shouted at the boy as he walked quickly over to him waving.

"Oh, hey Phillip what are you up to? School shopping as we are?" the boy asked. Eric had a rather muscular look for a fourteen year old, but he was a football player, so it was pretty normal for him. He stood around five-foot-six and had a brown flat top hair style, along with brown eyes. He was wearing his favorite pair of blue Wranglers jeans which went down to his ankles. They weren’t tight on him, but they also weren’t so loose that they would fall off. He was also wearing a pair of red and black tennis shoes, along with a Kobe Bryant Los Angeles Lakers jersey.

"Yeah, pretty much just some last minute school shopping as usual. I got some pretty cool stuff this year,” Phillip replied, “Thanks for pointing out that backpack to me as well. I got my mom to get it for me.”

"Yeah it's pretty sweet huh? So what have you been up to this summer?" Eric asked.

"I haven’t really been up to much. You know, basically same old, same old. Computer, video games, etcetera, etcetera," answered Phillip.

"Ah, so pretty good then? Not so much for me, though,” Eric sighed, “My dad passed away last week.”

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that I always liked your Dad, he was always nice to us. What happened to him?" Phillip asked.

"We’re still not entirely sure exactly what the reason was,” Eric began, “But, judging by the way we found him, he seemed to have had a heart attack. He was just passed out on the floor. We had been gone for the day, so we weren’t around to help him or to see what happened. Looking back now, I wish I had been there for him at the time. Maybe if I was there, I could have helped him out, you know?”

"Yeah, I know what you mean,” Phillip answered, “When I think about my own father, I still sometimes wish I had been old enough to help him. I guess that’s the way life works though. It can really suck sometimes. I guess in the end though, the thought at least counts for something.”

"Yeah, that true. Death is just an unfortunate thing that everyone has to deal with at some time,” Eric responded. As he though in his head, he decided to quickly change the subject to something less depressing, “So have you found a girlfriend yet?” he asked.

By the look on Eric’s face, Phillip could tell that Eric had found someone over the summer. Phillip kind of wished he could say the same, but it would have been a lie, so he answered saying, “No, not yet at least.”

"Oh well hold on," Eric said as he turned his head forty-five degrees to the right, "Shyann," he shouted, as a girl started walking toward them, "This is Shyann Wilcox she just moved here from Florida she's looking to make friends I know you won't mind helping her out."

"Of course not, my name is Phillip Pragmer nice to meet you," Phillip said as he extended his hand for a handshake.

Shyann was a really pretty girl with bright green eyes. She was about five-foot-three, and had long, brown hair which came down to her butt. She was wearing a tight, red short-sleeve shirt which appeared to be a size too small, as her bellybutton was showing. She also wore a tight pair of blue jeans which went down to about the middle of her shin along with black, lace less Vans shoes. She also wore an earring in each ear, but apparently decided that she would prefer not having to wear socks. She smiled and greeted Phillip, “Nice to meet you Phillip. Eric has told me a lot about you.”

“Oh, has he? Hopefully he has told you good things,” Phillip laughed.

“He has said nothing but good things about you,” Shyann replied as she smiled again. As they were talking, a woman called out from the nearby FYE telling Shyann to come on. Shyann looked at Phillip and said, “Well, that’s my mother. It looks like it’s time for me to go,” she said as she turned to Eric and gave him a kiss on the lips. She told Eric that she loved him and Eric told her he loved her back before she walked away to her mother. On her way to her mother, she waved at them both and they waved back.

"She's beautiful Eric," Phillip complimented, “She seems very nice too. I’d say you’ve done well for yourself.”

"Yeah, now don’t you be trying to snake her away from me, or I’ll whoop your ass,” Eric joked, “You know I’m kidding with you, you wouldn’t do something like that and I know you wouldn’t.”

Phillip smiled, “Of course not, you are my best friend after all, right? Most good friends won’t even date people their friends have dated. I definitely wouldn’t try to steal anyone from you,” he said truthfully. Phillip was a loyal friend who wouldn’t mess with his friends’ relationships in any way. Though, he did think to himself that he might try something if Shyann was someone else’s girlfriend instead.

Eric gave him a friendly punch on the shoulder and then asked Phillip a more serious question, “By the way, I was looking outside my window this morning and noticed something odd. Did you happen to spot a black light that would have been easily visible from your house?”

Phillip remembered seeing it as he wrote about it in his journal before he left the house. He pondered for a second as what to say about, until he answered, “Yeah, it was rather strange, wasn’t it? I have never seen the black light before, so just seeing it out of nowhere was pretty shocking. It’s probably nothing though.”

Ms. Pragmer, who was eavesdropping on the conversation, looked at Phillip and said, “We need to get home already. I have to cook supper,” before she looked at Eric and said hello to him.

"Hello Miss Pragmer,” Eric smiled as he extended his hand. Ms. Pragmer extended hers back to shake his. Eric then looked at Phillip and said to him, “Well, it seems like a good time to say goodbye for now. I’ll come by sometime soon. You two keep safe.”

"You keep safe to Eric," Phillip replied as Eric walked away waving goodbye as he headed over to Gamestop.

"See you later Phillip!" Eric yelled out as he walked inside.

After they waved back, Phillip and Ms. Pragmer made their way outside and into their car with shopping bags in their hands. Mr. Pragmer looked at Phillip and asked him, “So, what did you two talk about?”

"Nothing really, just did some catching up mainly. Then, Eric introduced me to his girlfriend,” Phillip answered, “She was a really nice girl.”

"Oh that's nice to hear. I knew he'd find someone eventually. He’s a very good boy," Ms. Pragmer replied as she turned the key on the car, "Well, are you ready to go?"

"Yeah, I sure am," Phillip responded as he put his seat belt on.

As they drove off from the mall, the cashier from Spencers was sitting on the edge of the rooftop, scrunched down, staring at the car that they drove way in. He took a sip from a can and said to himself, “Stay safe, you too,” before walking away from the edge and back toward the center of the roof.

Maikeru D. Shinigami
01-12-2012, 08:20 PM
No one's really reading this, so I'm taking everything except the Prologue and Chapter 1 down. If you really want to read a certain chapter, let me know and I'll post it up until you finish reading.

takuya
06-21-2012, 10:38 AM
It may be a little difficult to post up the chapters I need until I get done. I need all of the chapters after chapter 1. :lol: