11-09-2009, 01:31 PM
"Legend of the Asyko clan"
A long time ago, the great Asyko clan was a family of mercenary's, usually hired to sabatoge other villages. The Asyko clan slayed many, and left villages in ruins. The leader, Seyomaru (say-oh-mah-roo) Asyko, 28, and Seimei (say-may) Asyko, 22 were the most feared members of the Asyko clan. They both held powerful jutsu's ,Seyomaru has the Raikou hantei (Lightning's Judgement), a powerful jutsu that would only effect those who were guilty to the user, in other words, if the user believed he was guilty, he would die. Seimei has the Raikou ken (Lightning Sphere), a powerful jutsu that forms into the user's palms, and holds a whirlwind shape, and on contact, would tear the opponent's to shreds. Together they were unstoppable, until one day Seimei relized that what they were doing, went against their old rule's and code of honor. So Seimei tried to convince his brother to stop, but Seimei knew his brother was corrupted with power, and blinded to see the truth, so Seimei challenged his own brother to a fight to the death. It took two days for the battle to end, and turned the land into an wasteland. Seimei arose as the victor, and had slayed his own brother. Seimei took the role of leader of the Asyko clan. Abandoning their old mercinary way's, the Asyko clan, with the consent of the Hakikage, joined the Lightning village, and to this day, remain there, defending the village with their lives. 4 years after slaying his older brother, Seimei passed away, leaving behind his legacy, the legacy known as the Asyko clan.
"Legend of the Asyko clan"
Thats pretty cool :D
Are u planning on continuing or is that it?
11-09-2009, 04:27 PM
ya thats cool are you going to write more??
11-09-2009, 04:31 PM
Uhmm,..... i really don't know what to write about, but i can write about the battle between Seimei and Sayomaru, if thats what you want?
11-09-2009, 04:35 PM
uhm,...alright i'll give it a shot!
The ending sounds like sasuke vs itachi thing only ends way faster, i like it though and i waiting for the battle to come out great job.
11-09-2009, 05:42 PM
"A war between brothers"
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"Tell me, where is your commander?" Seyomaru odered. The man who was caught in Seyomaru's grip, replied with the shake of his head. Seyomaru tightened his grip around the mans neck, and asked again, "Where is your commander?" He ordered in a stern voice. I could tell he was becoming very agitated. The man replied "Im not afraid of you!" Seyomaru lifted his heavy blade with one arm, "Then so be it!", he said driving the blade through the man, his body fell limp, and seyomaru casted him aside like a peice of trash. Seyomaru turned to me, he had no emotion in his face, his eyes looked blacker than the deepest abyss. His face, the face of a cold blooded, souless man rezided in him. "Seimei, i want you to dispose of the rest, and return to the village." I nodded and began searching the lifeless abandoned village. I found my way into the house of a wife and her son. She was begging me not to take her or her child's life, a grin reached across my face, and i unseethed my blade and struck, both the woman and the child fell to the floor, their bodies lifeless. I began to search the village for more stragler's, and one after another i slaughtered them. When i reached the village gate's there was a man, old and weak. He began to speak,"those who kill with no regret are scum, you and your clan are scum!" He roared at me. I began walking torwards him, he tried to run, but was too slow, like the other's he fell. I began to walk outside the village, and i could see Seyomaru standing above the cliff that surrounded the village. He held a man in his grip. Judging by his clothing i could tell he was the villages commander, Seyomaru didn't look like himself. There was a grin spread acrossed his face, and he was laughing a hallow laugh, and for some reason i felt an emotion that i have never felt before, my mind began to fill up with regret, i could hear the voices of the many men and women we slaughtered. And it wouldn't stop. Then i remember the engraving in our crest, "Those who kill with no mercy are weak, and those who are corupted by power are weaker, only those who fight with good contempt, hold the greatest honor." What we were doing went beyond that the teachings of our forfather's. We were corrupted with power, and seeing the look on seyomaru's face, only made me relize even more that we were "Scum". The man fell, his body laid on the ground, dead. "Seyomaru, what are we doing?" i asked him. "Only delevering justice, why?" he questioned me. "Do you not feel the feeling of regret, or guilt?" i asked him. He turned to me, and i could see the cold, dark look in his eye's focused on me. "We have been breaking the rule of our forefather's, we.." Seyomaru interupted me with a loud hallow laugh. "Our forefather's were weak, blinded by their true potential!" seyomaru chanted. Don't tell me you've grown weak brother?" Seyomaru asked me. "No, my eye's have only just opened to the truth!" I replied. "Ha, what truth?" Seyomaru said starring down at me. "True Honor!" I replied with anger in my voice. "So, i guess you just wan't to stop this, and end our reputation?" Seyomaru was blind, unable to see the wrong, and the evil he has become. "Since i can't open your eyes, then i must end your life." I drew my blade, and stood in a defensive stance. "Hmph, i guess its time we detirmine which of the brother's is strongest!" Seyomaru lifted his heavy blade, and then leaped into the air. I dodged and swung my sword, only to be blocked by his. Seyomaru was much more skilled than i with a blade, and it was hard enough to keep up with his swordsmanship. We fough for many hours, al day, and all night, it was the next morning, and i was fatiuged, my body ached, and my chakra was at an extreme low. There was a heavy pain in my arm, Seyomaru's blade was lodged in my upper arm. He withdrew his heavy blade, and i fell to the ground, holding my arm in agony. This only made me relize the pain we made those innocent people went through. "You can not win, Seimei, we both know that i am the most skilled with a blade" Seyomaru spoke with a grin. He lifted his blade and brought it down with heavy force, Their was a sharp pain in my eyes, i screamed in agony. Seyomaru paused with a puzzled look on his face. The pain woresened and i let out a scream that was echoed through the valley, the it stoped, i opened my eye's, and i felt an overwhelming power of strength. My arm was healed completely. A smile found it's way across my face. "What is this?" Seyomaru questioned me, "This, This is the power of justice, this is the greatest honor." I lifted my head. Seyomaru saw the pattern in my eye, the eye known as the greatest honor, the Raikogan. I could see the fear in his face, his eye's wen't blank and he was lost in a gen-jutsu that, would bring his greatest fear alive, to feel regret. He snapped back to reality, and then i knew instantly how to preform his signature jutsu, I exteneded my right arm, and an electrical pulse began to form in my hand, and then the jutsu had formed, I spoke the magic word,"Guilty!". I leaped towards Seyomaru with his signature jutsu in my hand. Seyomaru tried to move, but could not. He could see the pulse of the lightning coming ever closer. Raikou hantei! (Lightning's Judgement), the pulse went straight into seyomaru's body, and i could see that he was in severe pain. He fell to his knee's and coughed up a pool of blood, then fell to the ground, his body lifeless,It was over, i had taken the life of my only brother. I scaned the battle feild, which, once was a vast greenland, now a deserted wasteland. I turned to see the other member's of the clan chanting my name. It has been a whole year since that day, and now i am the leader of the Asyko clan, and we abandoned our old mercenary ways and became part of the village now known as the village hidden in lightning, but i will never forget my brother, for he was a symbol, of hate, and we would all look to him as a person we should not become.
-Seimei Asyko, leader of the great asyko clan~
11-09-2009, 05:44 PM
Okey, its out, tell me what you think.
11-09-2009, 06:17 PM
I gotta say, those under the ages of six, may not want to read the 2nd one cuz, uh, its really graphic and dark.
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