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ShikamaruGenius
10-11-2009, 07:50 PM
Okay Sorry for doing this..But I made a big mistake in my name thread.and Since the mods are on lock,they cant change the name(if they can do it and delete this thread)anyway.Im posting my chapter 1 and 2 since I'm done..
I don't know if people actualy care but if I got some rep I will continue posting them here..Hope You guys Enjoys and Nice read^^
ps:at least..If you read it comment XD!

1st Chapter:The day I've been Choosen.



NOTE:This is a fiction.There's no real location or facts.+Sorry if I made some mistake.I originally made this in french...(Will work on the mistake)
Legend:
* * Normal Action
()Location, special action
/ Another action during the first one ex : wordwordword/otherword....
" " Thinking
[] flashback


short Description of some character.(Just to make you feel the mood^^)

-Naoko:5.10 f-19 years old--Brown hair,mid-long spiked--Blue eyes--good shape (less cut then the other one)
weapon: A Katana and some Shuriken

-Kyosuke:5.9 f-22 years old--long-flat blond hair--blue eyes--good shape--wears a cloak and a hat--
weapon:2 small katana and a bunch of kunai

-Reigen:6.3f-25 years old--bald with a tress on the back of his head,black--Big shape with a lot of muscle--No shirt--scars on the left side of his face.
weapon: heavy Long sword (it's a 2 hand sowrd but he using it for a 1 hand sword)

-the mysterious kid:looks like a big-chubby kid--blond hair-short.--Green eyes--age:???
weapon:???

-The Man:short black hair--age???--black eyes--wear a smoking
weapon:???

-Suka:age???--Long brown hair--brown eyes--wear a long skirt--
weapon:Wooden Rod



*3 guys is standing at the top of a moutain*
Kyosuke:So this is it?Everything we ever wanted are in this castle..
Reigen:are you sure Naoko?I Have a bad feeling about this you know..
*those 3 looking at the castle/The man in the back finally made a move*
Naoko:don't be so hopeless..Or you will get killed..let's go!
*reigen look at naoko with a weird face/close his eyes for a second*
Reigen:Alright then let's play a little
*He made a scary face and start running first/Kyosuke smile and put back his hat/And the 3 guys heading to the castle*
(Big view of the castle)
*while running*
Kyosuke:So..You say they are only 6 to protect this hudge castle?!
Naoko:that's what the contact said..

[flashback]
*Naoko Is walking on a bridge...He stop right beside a guy who is standing here looking at the Horizon*
Naoko:The sky looks so great from here don't you think?
Contact:Ho..you're here afterall..
(Sounds of the winds and the clashing waves )
Naoko:About the Jyou Castle..
Contact:Right!The castle is near a mountain in the west of Takagura.It is uninhabited but there's a special unit of 6 guards protecting the castle..
Naoko:Only 6 guards?!"even if they are a special unit from the kingdom...They are pretty careless.."
Contact:that what I said.3 outside.3 inside that's it..They are relaying each 12 hour comming from the castle of the North
*Naoko look down the bridge*
Naoko:I see..And When I'm in.Where is the treasure room?
*the contact smile a little and stretch himself*
contact:you don't wanna hear about their specialities?Meh.Anyway It's kinda easy since you are inside.You just take the door at your right and..
[FlashBackEnding]

*the 3 guys are now staring at the gate*
Naoko:when we are inside,Kyosuke,take care of them
Kyosuke:Eh!
Reigen:what about me huh?
*Naoko Aim his sword at the gate*
Naoko:Reigen,You get rid of the gate for me
Reigen:As You Wish Boss
*He step-back and Slash The gate in on powerfull Blow!*
(view of the gate destroyed)
*The 3 guys sneask in the castle*
Naoko:Kysuke!!
Kyosuke:I KNOW!!
*ehhh*
(the vision of three guards without heads)
Kyosuke:hmm.guess we are late!
Naoko:"it can be possible..who the hell did this"
Reigen:maybe the treasure is still here?We should gonna take a look!
*Kyosuke Kicking Reigen*
Kyosuke:The treasure should already been stolen!If these guys are dead!there's no way to...
naoko:kyosuke..Calm down please.."something is strange..It's been 2 day now..we are spying this castle and nobody except for the guards has leaving or came in this place...."
*reigen examine the body of a guard*
Reigen:Ho.I Knew it!
*Reigen take the dead body and show the neck to the others*
Kyosuke:what the hell?Why are you showing this? Stupid Bastard!!
*Reigen make a mad face and try punching Kyosuke/same as Kyosuke trying to kick him again./naoko block them with his own fist*
Naoko:what is it Reigen..
*Both Rei and Kyo step-back without a words and look down.*
Kyosuke:"One day..."
Reigen: This body...
*Zoom at the neck of the guard*
Reigen:In my whole Life.I never seen something like this..Their heads..First,they are all missing..

*Naoko and Kyosuke give expression to what he's saying*
Reigen:and look at this..it don't seem like they've been cut...Trust me,I've cut a lot of head and their neck never looked like this...
Naoko:What do you want to say..?
*reigen let out a sigh*
Reigen: looks like their heads have been eaten!!
*Naoko and Kyosuke made a Suspicious face*
Reigen:That's right..eaten..I don't know what kind of thing did this but...
*zoom on reigen with a serious face*
Reigen:I will Kill Him before he try this one me!
*Naoko smile and Look down.*
Naoko:Alright then!Let's finish this once and for all! Follow me!

(while this time-In a stylish room )
*Three other people are sitting in this room.We can Only see their shadow*

ladyVoice:did they fell for it?
ManVoice:For sure!They will be here soon
KidVoice:Wonderfull!!I'm so hungry.hehehe
manVoice:Enough Already!You already eaten 6 guys by yourself!These 3 are for me...
LadyVoice:We already have what we wanted..What about leaving now...
ManVoice:No way!maybe they are strong...
LadyVoice:Well...Let'S have some fun then!

(back with Naoko and his crew)
*Those 3 are running in the castle*
Naoko:This way!!"I wonder what's happen to the 3 guards left..."
*They turning left./After Right./They run like this a little time/Naoko Made a signal with his hand and the other stop right after*
Kyosuke:it's here huh?
naoko:Yah!Alright get ready to fight at anytime!i feel something behind these door.
(quick view of the door)
*Naoko open the door,rei and Kyo step in the room/there's no one..*
(big view of the room:A room with mountains of gold.Jewel,Old weapong,Old scroll and a big Picture in the back)
*his crew let their guard down and are amaze looking at the treasure room'Child face'*
Kyosuke:Reigen Look!
*Kyo with a ton of jewel in his hands,with a big smile*
Reigen:With all this!There's no need to steel anymore..For a while hehe!!
Naoko:Shut Up We are Not alone!
*Naoko Is still On guard til the door is open/the 2 other are off-guard*
REI+Kyo:HUh??
BANNNGGG(->explosion from nowhere)
*The room Is now full of dust in the air..Kyo and rei had the time to retreat at time.they are now standing in the back of Naoko./They can't see nothing..*
kyosuke:What in the hell!!!"Guess Things don't go as I wanted"
*A Loud laugh in the back of the room*
LadyVoice:So they fell for it...Shall we introduce ourselves..
ManVoice:There's no need too.They will be dead in five Minutes.Haha
*the man move his hand and all the dust go away./So we can finally see their faces*(NOTE:They are wearing clothes of different Era)
*the kid is standing in the back*
KId:hurry up!since I can't do anything...I wanna Leave!!
Naoko:I see,you were Hiding yourselve in the picture.."just what are these guys?!"
*Naoko look at those three.ready to attack/finally,Reigen attack first trying to slash the man with a single Shot"
Reigen:Too easyyy!!!"Wha..t"
Reigen feel something on his back and fall down/the guys stand behind him with blood on his hands*
Man:Who's next?
*Nao and Kyo step-back for precaution*
Naoko:"I can't believe he managed to dodge this front attack so quickly and hit Reigen in the back only with his fist?just what was that movement!?"
Kyosuke:No way I'll loose against You Bastard!!
*he take off his cloack and start throwing Kunai on the ennemies/Naoko took the advantage to charge on the guy and aiming a slash in a quick move./the Man dodge him but Naoko attack again*
Man:He's fast too..I cannot do the same trick twice!"
*Kyosuke appears in the back and make a double attack with his 2 katana,in the stomach and the legs/Naoko slash his throat*
Kyosuke: Die Weirdo!!!!
Man:huhh?!
*for some reason,both of Naoko and Kyosuke attack doesn't touched him..*
Naoko:What!?"I'm sure my blade just cut his throat"
*Kyo and Nao step-back again the man don't move a single hand..*
Man:Eww,Tanks suka.taught I was dead just now hehe!
*The girl make a step and show her Wooden Rod,Some strange aura appears/The lady is Now beside the man*
Suka:Now let's finish this
*both Kyo and Naoko react to her words/.Kyo took the left and Naoko the right Side*
Kyosuke:Carnage Sword Tech!(He make a thousand hit in a short time on each part of the body.Supposed to be cut into small pieces)
Naoko:White flash Sword Tech!(His sword flash white and It's make Naoko dissapears and appeard in the back of his ennemy.He can slash the opponent many time before he realise he's been hit..)
*The two technique have been repel just by a single move of Suka.The man punched Kyosuke and his fist crushed Kyo's body./the girl also make a move.She use her rod and a black Light pierce Naoko's body...*
Naoko:"My body...It won't move..damn..How could she block my white flash..."
*he try to escape from this pressure*
Suka:It's useless cutie.since you are mine now.I can do everything I want to...
*kyo fall on the ground behind the guys who have a demon smile*
Suka:And.I..Know..Exacly what I want..to..
*Suka take out his Rod and the blood start to flow/naoko fell down on his knees and spit some blood/the man let out a sigh*
Man:Not again Suka..Is this necessary thought?.We can let those guys die here
*Suka make a move with Her rod and Smile*
Suka:Yes it is!Since we have to keep this secret..the better way is to make everything dissapear!!!
*Her eyes went black and a enormous black hole appear from the picture in the back of the room *
Man.few..taught they were strong..Guess I was wrong..Youchi,Let's leave,Suka don't take too much time..
Youchi(kid): Where do we go Okugi?
Okugi(man):guess where.hehe..
*and the 2 guys dissapears in a silence fear./Naoko and his crew is still lying down..They can't do a single thing..*
naoko:"Ugh...Just what is this again...Is this the end..."
*the black hole devour everything in the room/Reigen...Kyosuke..All The treasure/Naoko is been sucked in the midle of this hole..*
naoko:"Sorry..I've failed..."

[flashback]
(Note:It'S just the memories of Naoko at the age of 5. I dont wrote the scene during this.(too hard too express without picture^^".)
-As far I can Remember..I always been a thief... I was an orphan..stealing to survive.I was resigned to live like a trash.but..I wasn't alone..They were many wars orphans,like me they all been left on their own.Many of us stick up together in some kind of little clan.. we were just kids...All we ever wanted is to survive in this merciless thing called world...
In my clan,I was the younger and very useless...I always been in trouble..He was always there to protect me.
Not a single time I've get hurt with him..Shin..You were so brave...
I will never forget..the day I've been choosen...the day..You give you're life for me...
[End of Flashback]

(The Hudge Black Hole appears in a forest)
*Naoko get expulsed from the things and the black hole dissapear at the same time*
Naoko:Haaaa!!
*he fall on a three brake the branches before hurthing the grounds.*
Naoko"Arg..I can't make a single move.At this rate,I will die soon..My eyes..
*Naoko fell unconscious...*

GirlVoice:I think the sounds was comming from here!Bakuga come on!
*it's a girl with a basket full of mushroom(Note:she's wearing clothes of our Era)*
Girl:Ho No!
*She saw a man covered in blood lying on the ground*
Girl:Hurry up bakuga!help me here!If we don't do anything.this guys will die!
Bakuga:Huh?
* a kid appear behind the girl and Saw the man*
Bakuga:WAIT! He bleed to much!My clothes will be full of blood.No way I...
*The girl snap the little boy*
Girl:How dare you!saying thing like this!You should rot in hell for this!
(the girl really look likes pissed off XD)
*Bakuga stand up with marks on his face*
bakuga:Alright,I do it.But let's hurry Tami!GrandMa told us not to be late!U know how she is when Ma get mad.
"She even worst then you.."
*he take Naoko And Tami help him*
Tami:shut up!You are the one who took so much time1
Bakuga: Few..whatever..
*He makes a funny face and their heading to their housse*

(Now in the housse near the forest but in a city)
Tami:He's gonna be alright grandMa?
*nami is standing in the door/A little old woman came with hot water and bandage*
Oldwoman:guess We Just have to wait and see..."i never seen a wounds like this before...I wonder what thing did this.."
*She took the old towel covered in blood and put them in a bag*
Oldwoman:Let him sleep...Tami...
*tami stick up her head looking at her grandmother*
Oldwoman:don't worry...He will be find...You did very well..
*Old crisped Smile*
(show Naoko on the bed)

END OF CHAPTER 1 ^^!!

Chapter 2:Naoko's In trouble!!!

Okay Since it's the second chapter. let me Introduce our 3 new characters^^

The Kengaru Familly--

-Tami: Girl-18 years old---Black hair,Long and curved--green eyes--5.5 feet--good body looking with a medium breast( XD)

-Bakuga:tami younger brother--14 years old--black medium hair--brown eyes--5.3 feet--Kid body haven't really matured yet

-Nemui: grand mother --80 years Old--green eyes--White hair turning grey--Very small--



(Small view of the bedroom)
*Naoko is in the bed.Still sleeping.it's been 4 days../suddenly,he open his eyes.!/He look at his left and saw a clock->Pointing 8 o'clock AM (digital clock)*

Naoko:just what is this...?
*He try to move his body but it's still hurt a little*
Naoko:Arg...Just where Am I...everything seem so strange here..(reference to the bedroom)

Nemui:So You finally wake up eh?
*nemui is standing at the door and look at Naoko with her crisped Smile/Naoko Turned his head faster and don't feel the pain with it since his reaction was Instinctive/He saw the grandmother and with a curious face*
Naoko:Just who are you granny?

*The old woman get shock but finnally smile again right after*
Nemui:I'm kengaru Nemui,Owner of this house.My granddaughter Tami found you in the forest when you were near death...

*Naoko stick up his head with another suspicious face*
naoko"So everything really happened..Just where Am I now..."
*He get up of the bed and realise he's Naked.naoko is standing in the room in a weird position(One leg in the hair)A Blanket at the genital part.*
Naoko:Whaa!Give me my clothes please!!
*still in the same position waiting for an answer/Nemui show New clothes to Naoko*

nemui:since your clothes was covered in blood..I asked My GrandSon Bakuga to bought you something else!
*She smile and give the clothes to Naoko/The boy look at the strange clothes(A Blue jean,white shirt,Black jacket,black sock)*
Naoko:"What is that clothes"
*He take the sock and put it on his hands*
naoko:"Huh,really weird..."

*nemui slap The boy*
Nemui:Where do you came from!Oyoy! This is a pair of Sock.You were supposed to put these on you're foot!!Stupid Boy dont ya!

*So Naoko finished to dress-up.FINALLY!*
Naoko"Phew...It was so troublesome.These clothes are so tight..Anyway.I've got to leave now and return to the hideout..."
*he open the bedroom door/walk quietly in the house*
Naoko:This house is sure really strange..
*Looking at a the wall covered with picture*

Nemui:Ho so you're done! Now let's eat son!
*The old lady is standing behind Naoko and aiming the kitchen/Naoko turn slowly with a get caught face.Smiling nervously*
Naoko: No.No!I've got to go now!My friends waiting for me so..Tanks for everything!Really but..
*He moves back and try open the house door*

(View of a big City!! what the?!?!Naoko made a hudge gap in the future!!!)

*Naoko turn back and Look outside./He saw the most unpredicatble thing he has to face!*
Naoko:What the hell!!!

(back in the bedroom,for some reason..Naoko feel unconcious again seeing the building and the cars)

*He wake up again/This time,All the familly is here looking at him*
Naoko:what just happened...Can someone explain me where Am I
bakuga: You're In Ubaka.One of the most big city of the earth!
* Tami slap again the little boy*
Tami:Enough with you stupid brat!
*She take a good pose and smile at Naoko*
Tami:Ubaka is a city near Takagura ruins
*Naoko reacted to what she said*
Naoko:Takagura...ruins?!
*When Tami said this word,Naoko is in a flat spin/ scratch his chin talking to himself*
Naoko:I see..So that's what happen..these three guys...
Bakuga:What did you just say?
*All the familly looking at him strangely*
Naoko:Aw forget it hehe!!
*He scratch the back of his head Smiling again*
Naoko:I'm just a little on Shock after what happen to me...
"I've got to play the innoncent if I want to keep my identity secret..damn"
Naoko:To be honest...I don't remember anything...Everything seem so unclear in my head..
*Innocent face looking at those three...They seem to fell for what he said*
Nemui:I see...So that's what happen then...Do you even remember your name?
Naoko:Huh.."Sh*t what should I do now...ha I know!"Well..When I was sleeping...I heard somebody calling me Naoko..It could be this..But I can't tell...
Tami:Then It's Set!We will call you Naoko..I was tired Of calling you the guy that I found
*Cute smile*
Naoko:Alright..."I don't like this.But I have no choice I guess".So You're the one who saved me right?Tami If I remember what your grandmother said...
*Smile and Look at Bakuga*
Naoko:And you are Bakuga.Nice to mee you little kid
*Bakuga Show his fist and shout*
Bakuga:Hey!I'm not a kid Anymore!I'm 14 years old!I'm a Man!
Naoko:Well Well my bad little man
*Naoko get out of bed and put his hand on Bakuga head playing a little in his hair..*
Naoko:You should enjoy you're time being a kid...Soon you will regrets those day..Hehe
*Bakuga dont say a single words.Naoko walks in the room until he reach the door.The three other just look at him*
Naoko:Just before I knock out..You were talking about eating GrandMa
*He turn his Head with a Big smile./everybody hear naoko stomach gurgle*
Nemui:Looks like you're hungry Boy!

(The action is now on the Kitchen.everybody is at the table eating Mushroom soup and Chicken sandwich)

*Naoko hate mushroom and play with his soup...look at the sandwich.Everything has changed for him..*
Nemui:If you don't like the soup just eat the sandwich Naoko
*He just realise that everybody still looking at him...*
Naoko:"sandwiich?!"Ho yeahh I will eat it.The..Sand.wich hehe!
*He took the sandwich and take a bite./His eyes get Bright and started to eat the meal more faster*
Naoko:Hum.that's good GrandMa!Tanks a lot!Do you have some more hehe!
*Nemui laugh and give another sandwich to Naoko!*
Nemui:here one son.You seem to get better now!Maybe after the dinner,Tami and bakuga can make you visit the city.
*She looks at the two concerned/Tami Smile and agreed*
Tami:Yeah for sure!It would be a pleasure Ma
*Bakuga in the back*
Bakuga:You just want to be seen with him since the girl at school said you..
*Tami was eating soup when he said that/She takes her spoon and slap his fingers*
Tami:Shut Up you noisy brat!
*Naoko still eating the second sandwich.didn't really give attention to the scene...*
Naoko:"what??"
Nemui:OyOy!Enough.Bakuga stop messing with you're sister!Do you want me to get Mad?
*bakuga stop screaming of pain in no time and get serious in one second*
Bakuga:"jeez...I'm really stuck with two crazy women"

(Final part: Naoko,Tami and Bakuga are now ready to leave.Naoko is still a little stress out about goind outside..)

*Naoko is on the porch with Bakuga,standing here waiting Tami to be ready*
Bakuga:Hurry Tami!!I don't wanna waste all my day!
TamiVoice from another room: Shut up Brat!I'm comming!
*bakuga look at Naoko and whisper something*
Bakuga:And I'm the one to be called an impolite kid...Feww
*Nami show up.She look georgous!/Naoko Is kinda surprise*
Bakuga:All this time for this..Anyway let's go!
*he ran outside to not be knock by her sister and laughing out loud/Naoko laugh too and that's make Tami smile too*
Naoko:By the way..Tami..You are splendid
*Naoko make a little smile.It was to be polite anyway,the more gentle he was better he has chance to not be suspected of something.../Tami blushed and get outside*
Tami:So what are you waiting...let's go naoko
* Show Tami Smiling looking at no one.The winds in her hair and her eyes closed*

End Of Chapter 2!!!Next chapter: Alone In a city!!

That'S all folks! I will post the third chapter if I've got some rep^^(and since I'm done with haha)

Nick B.^^

ShikamaruGenius
10-12-2009, 08:23 AM
damn.. should I give Up? :(..COME ON You Who open this thread...It's your duty to post!^^""(depress)

ShikamaruGenius
10-13-2009, 09:20 AM
Come on :(! I worked hard on this trying to retranslate it in english... answer please XD

ShikamaruGenius
10-15-2009, 07:40 PM
Okay Since I Will follow Naruto's Advice to never give up. I wiil Post the 3 chapter of My story.Maybe one day someone will open this thread and say.Hey this is actually good...XD who knows..

So here's chap.3!!!

Chapter 3:Alone in the City!!!

So far in the story:Naoko ans his crew was after a treasure located in a castle when they where attacked by some unknown ennemies.One of them used a special attack and Naoko has been thrown in the future.He had many wounds during the fight and just recovered yet,He was saved By the Kengaru family.Now he must face the unknown future of our Era..


Bakuga:Jeez..It's so cold today..I can't believe the summer is already finished!!
*Our three new heroes are walking in the streets of Ubaka.Bakuga is walking in the front,hands behind his head.Naoko and Tami was just behind him.*
Tami:You should have wear a jacket dumboy
Bakuga:How many time I have to told you not to tell me like.
Tami:Like what Dumboy!
Bakuga:Arg!I dare you!!!*
*During this time,Naoko wasn't paying attention to the two others..He was amazing by everything around him.The cars..The Building..Strange people.He saw a Hot-dog stand and was curious..Tami and bakuga just keep walking since they were in a words fight...*
Naoko:"Huh..so weird"
*He walks near the stand slowly with a hand on his chin.More close..And more close..Until his face was near an Hot-dog..*
*stare...*
Seller:Yo what's up Need something..
*Naoko get scared and step-back and saw the seller.A guys With Blue hair and many percing.he was standing behind the stand..He can't even understand what he just said*
Naoko:Huh..what's up..? What is that!I want this!
*He's aiming the hot-dog*
Seller:For sure!3 box dude!
Naoko:"what?Ha!!"
[lilflashback]
Tami:Here'S 20 box if you need something!Dont loose it!
Naoko:hum tanks
[End]
Naoko:AW!yeah here's 3 boxdude!
Seller:huh?Nevermind and here's your hot-dog
Naoko:tanks
*Naoko took the hot-dog without taking his change he just turn back and started to run where he was sooner.*
Seller:Hey wait your!!Ha..too bad..."Guess I'm lucky today hehe.."
*Naoko take a bite in the Hot-dog and he started to shine!He eats it in 2 bites.When He done he look round him and noticed that Tami and Bakuga wasn't there...He check another time but nobody was here...Naoko was left alone in a city that he don't even know..*
Naoko: Damn...What Am I supposed to do now..Standing here and wait..."I should go back to the stand nha this guy is so strange.."Guess I just go back to the house..
*Naoko Look another time around him..*
Naoko:"hum wich side I've been from already..Duh being lost here is a real pain in the.."
ManVoice:OUCH! mY ass!!
Naoko:uh?
* He looked behind him and saw a young man laying on the street.He seemed to be in a hurry cause he stand up faster and started to run.*
Naoko:Wait you!
Man: Damn "I've been followed that is no good"
*The man started to run more faster and cut into a alley*
Man:"I think I've lost him..few.."Eh?!
*The Man stoped to run.And step back...*
Man:Sh*t..
[during that time]
Tami:Shut up!You are the one who started with your huh..Bakuga.wait a minute..
Bakuga:what's the matter now?
Tami:Where is Naoko?
Bakuga:I taught he was following us..Damn!!! NAOKO?!?!NAOKO?!?!
Tami:Stop screaming!he's not here.We Lost him!Ho no!!"Naoko..just where are you now..."
[Back to Naoko and the mystery man]

Man:hey Sato how are.Urg...
*The man is been hurt without ending his phrase..He fall on he's knee..He look ahead and saw the four man standing beside him.*
Man:Looks like You found what I did eh..
Sato:what do you think!I'm not stupid to let a brat such like you interfer with my plans...
Man:You!I never forgive you for what..Haaa..
*again the man is been hurt by one of the guys behind Sato...He's now lying on the ground of the alley,bloods flow in his mouth.He ear a voice behind him*
Naoko:looks like I wasn't the only one searching for you...
*Naoko stare the four man,He make a quick annalyse of the situation..*
Naoko:"One man with a knife not very cut.Another one with a strange stick he seem pretty robust..The guys in the back have no weapon but he seem to be the most dangerous..and the little man..probably the useless boss of these three..Hmm can I handle it myself..."
*Naoko is standing guard and smile*
Naoko:May I join the fight..Gooner?
Sato:wh..what?! How dare you! I will teach you the good manner! Moka!Toru!Ako Bring Me this mother F*** I will finish him..
MO-TO-AK:ALRIGHT BOSS!
*the three guys rushing at Naoko,Moka is the first to strike.he try to Cut Naoko with his Knife but Naoko Dodge keeping his position.He took Moka knife in a single move and throw him away.*
Moka:Brat!take this!!
*He tried to punch him but Naoko just move his head and kick the guys in the legs.Moka hurt the ground and Naoko kick him again in the chest.Sato started to scream
Sato:What are you doing!!Kill HIM!!!
Toru and Ako trying to attack Naoko at the same time But Naoko jump on the baseball bat and Kick The guys right in the face.He made a back flip at the sime time as Naoko But hurthing the ground badly.Naoko lended behind the other guys and tried to punch him.But Ako dodge him and took his arms and throw Naoko in the wall.*
Ako:Hahaha!!I will crush you to Shred bastard!
Naoko:eh..Look likes you are more stronger then you're two friends Am I right..
Ako:Let me Laugh..These to guys are nothing compare to.What?!
Man:I can't believe it..just who's that guy..?
*Naoko appears in the back of the guys in no time.that's the white flash but without swords*
Naoko:You talk to much...
*He give a elbow shot right in the neck and ako falls right after....*
Ako:just..just..who are.. you..
Naoko:You just stole my line
*Kick the man in the back to finish him off.he step-back look at Sato*
Naoko:Now you're turn old pygmy!
*Sato get really scared and just run away screaming*
Sato:it's not finished yet!I will Kill you for what you did!!
*Naoko run to the man he followed,he was still lying on the ground..*
Naoko:Are you alright?I just save your ass doesnt it?
Man:he..he.yeah I'm fine..but..Who are you..Why are you doing this..this Man.He will.
Naoko:What is your name boy?
*Naoko smile at the boy and gives his hand./the man look at him and took his hand and stand up*
Man:Well..I'M Aiden..
Naoko:Aiden? never heard that before..I'm Naoko nice to meet you hehe!
Aiden:aww tanks for saving my life.I was dead if you wasn't there..I never saw someone fight like you.You are awsome!!
Naoko:that's nothing..hehe!
*He's smilling with a really happy face*
Naoko:It just..I can't see this and do nothing..You were in trouble so I had to save you..Anyway..I've got a question!!!
*Aiden get surprised by the answer of Naoko but smile too.*
Aiden:you just saved my life!what do you want to know?
Naoko:Well..The thing is I'm kinda lost..Do you know where the Kengaru House is..
*Aiden thinks a little and finnaly said.*
Aiden:Hum that's the house just beside the forest right?I heard about Kengaru Nemui,An Old woman who can actually heal everyone..But I think it's just rumors...
*Naoko Agreed*
Naoko:Yeah This place!Can you escort me here I will ask granny Nemui to heal your injuries!
*Aiden hesited but finnaly agreed.*
Aiden:Okay I will!Just follow me! "If im with him I'm in security that's good"
*And the two guys are heading to the Kengaru house.Is everything will be okay?*

End Of chapter 3!!! Next chapter: Same path

mangagirl
10-15-2009, 07:42 PM
wow i liek it its aweosme

ShikamaruGenius
10-17-2009, 08:58 AM
Hoo tanx XD!One viewer is better then 0...I wish more people to be like you ^^
(chap.4 will probably be posted this weekend)

ShikamaruGenius
10-18-2009, 08:53 PM
That's my chapter 4! it would be appreciate to hear some feedback of that...I know that's not really well translated but i think it's good anyway...

Chapter 4 : same path


Aiden description: 16 years old.blue eyes and blond hair.5f6.weight:130 .wear black pants and a blue sweatshirt.
ocupation:Unknown


*Naoko and Aiden is walking in the streets of Ubaka.they pass up a coffee shop and Aiden stop at the corner of the street*
Aiden:Man...I'm tired of walking..beside my ribs hurt so bad..we gonna wait for the bus okay?
*Naoko dont understand him when he talked about the bus...He just look at him and shake his head.*
Naoko:"Guess I just have to wait and see.don't be suspicious..."
*Aiden noticed a bench a go sit.Naoko just follow him and let out a sigh.He wondered what have could happen to bakuga and Tami...He was also worried about the fact that he was really in trouble...Aiden noticed that something was wrong and asked*
Aiden:Hey what's the matter?We will be there in no time don't worry man.
*Naoko startled when Aiden started to talk.He Look at him with a innocent smile*
Naoko:Ho no!I'm alright!beside,you shouldn't worry about me hehe
*Aiden started to laugh and saw the bus comming.He get up and walk to the corner.Naoko follow him and look at the big thing beside him..*
Naoko:hmm..You know we can walk..If you tired I can..
Aiden:Ha you don't have any money eh?that's okay I'll pay your ticket it's nothing
*Naoko step back laughing because he was a little scared*
Naoko:You know..I will walk.
*Aiden grab the hand of Naoko and get in the bus.He paid the two ticket and go sit in the back.He finnaly let go of Naoko's hand..Everybody looked at them since they were looking a little suspicious(GayXD).Aiden realised what's everybody thinked and shout*
Aiden:That's nottt what you thinking guys!!So stop Looking at us!!
*During that time..Naoko was really stress out.The bus started to roll and he close his eyes 5 seconds and opened them...Nothing happened..The bus was rolling down the street and everybody didn't look scare or nothing...*
Naoko:"wow!That's not so bad...Kinda fun hehe"
*Aiden looked at him and ask*
Aiden:Soo your lost right...that's mean your not from here right?where do you came from?
Naoko:uh..My story is a little to complicated..to tell you the truth...I was really wounded and lost my memory..And this granny saved my life..
*Aiden bend his head..*
Aiden:I see...So that explain your situation...But that fight earlier..
*Aiden was been interupted by a little kids who came to Naoko.He was looking him and started to laugh*
Littlekid:Haha look at your shoes!! You don't know how to lace up your shoes haha that's so funny
*aiden realised and let out a sigh*
Aiden:"I don't even realise earlier...jeez his memory is sure messed up!"
*Naoko look at his shoestring...they had knot in...*
Naoko:hmm..I taugh it was okay...could you show me how little kid
Littlekid:Huh?You are serious!haha!
*He show his shoe with a proud face.*
Littlekid:I am the best!Mom said that even brother didn't knew how to do it at my age!
*Naoko smiled at the little kid,Aiden was just looking outside all this conversation bored him..*
Naoko:I see I see..then show me how!
Littlekid:Alright first you..

[during that time]
*A little man get into a bar.Inside,He didn't took attention to the strippers or the other guys here.he ran in the back of the bar and Open the door of the office.Once inside,four man was standing here.2 guys was sitting in black chair smoking cigar.One of them was counting money.The other two was standing in the back just like two bodyguard..Sato closed the door quickly,he was all in swet and started to rush*
Sato:Roko!!We are in trouble!!This damn little brat of Aiden has stolen a lot of money and he was able to took the amulet!I followed him but a man!
*Roko drop off his cigar...Take a time before talking..He was just sitting here looking at Sato..Finally,He made a move.He grab a knife and started to play with..Sudenly,without hesitation,he throw the knife at Sato.*
Sato:Whh..what...Huh?
*He touch his neck and realise that he was bleeding..Nobody was talking,Sato fall on his knees looking at Roko..He was on agony*
Sato:Whyy...?I always been..
Roko: Dante,take care of him..I have enough of his bullsh*t!
*he stand up and looked at Sato body*
Roko:All your life...You were rellying on the others...Time has came to you to accept your fate and die as a coward...
The other man:Few..Come on Roko..Why are you speaking to a dead body...You should make your speech first and after kill them..Or they will never understand you...
*Dante open the door and take care of Sato body,He close the door behind him...Roko take his Cigar and take a puff.*
Roko: Maki...you just interput me during my speech..That's not what we,leader of the BlackSnake clan are supposed to do to each other...Beside..What we are gonna do about that Aiden...
*Maki Smile calmly at his comrades.*
Maki:well..Let's have a drink..we'll talk about it and gonna do something after...We were supposed to cheer to our new contract right?
*Roko Agreed and took a bottle of scoth in his desk.He took two glasses.After giving his drink.those two guys trinked and drank their scotch..*
Maki:Anyway...We all know aiden has choose to follow the same path as his father...We know what he plan to do..There's no need to rush...We'll just found him...And kill him
*Roko agreed and make an evil smile.*
Roko:I will make sure this brat will die..with my own hand!
*He stand up again and took his gun and his knife.He looked at the guys standing in the back during all that time and ordered him to follow him*
Roko:Maki.Just take care of the bar and to make the contact with our new allies...I will find this kid..And erase this familly once and for all!
*Roko open the door and quit the room.he didn't even close it after..Maki stay in the room smoking his cigar.He took another drink and said to himself.
Maki:Thing are going interesting...

End of chapter 4!! Next chapter: A Man and His duty

ShikamaruGenius
10-20-2009, 09:00 PM
Can I ask you why you guys don't like my story ^^"" ? It would be great to know.. XD!!

ShikamaruGenius
10-22-2009, 10:31 PM
Okay I got it..There will be no more chapter posted.it's no used since nobody take the time to read it...

So Topic Close :( :( :( :(

Ace adventurer
10-26-2009, 07:48 AM
great