Onryou, the vengeful heart

[Anonymous]

Chapter 1
The Prophecy

There was a young boy, his name was Ichirou, he was a jinchuuriki, he had the most powerful bijuu of all nine, he had the 9-Tailed demon fox, but he was very untalented and was often outshone by his younger brother, Kazuo, who was talented with all forms of jutsus and could master any weapon he touched.

Kazuo would always get more attention than Ichirou, no matter what Ichirou attempted, his brother would outshine him. Ichirou worked very hard and became a very skillful ninja, but he could never match his little brother. He grew to hate his little brother and would often try to kill him and make it seem like an accident or someone else did it, but Kazuo would always do something that would interrupt the murder, though Kazuo had no idea that his brother hated him.

[Anonymous]

"What do you guys think? This is my first fanfic."

[shinmarubountyhunter]

it sounds like naruto and sasuke's back story combined

[Anonymous]

it sounds like naruto and sasuke's back story combined

"This is more like a short story before the true story..."

[shinmarubountyhunter]

i know but jinchuriki(naruto) lives in his brothers shadow(sasuke)

[Anonymous]

i know but jinchuriki(naruto) lives in his brothers shadow(sasuke)

"To be honest, I've only seen some recent shipuden episodes, so I didn't know..."

[shinmarubountyhunter]

you never saw the first part of naruto

[Anonymous]

you never saw the first part of naruto

"I've seen very few episodes and didn't pay attention most of the time..."

[shinmarubountyhunter]

wow well sasuke's older brother itachi was a very skilled ninja and sasuke was jealous then itachi killed his whole family excluding sasuke

[shinmarubountyhunter]

now sasuke wants to kill itachi kinda the same

[Anonymous]

"I gotta go, see ya."

[shinmarubountyhunter]

peace

[Anonymous]

Chapter 1 cont.

Kazuo became the kage of his village, he was very happy when he was elected, but his brother, Ichirou wasn't very happy at all. Kazuo had offered him a job as his right hand man, but Ichirou refused.

One day, Kazuo sent Ichirou on an S-Rank mission. Here is how it went:

"Ichirou, I need you to do some spy work on an ally village. I fear that they might attempt to ally with some enemy villages and attack us."

Ichirou looked confused, "How do you know this for certain? I thought it was them who proposed a peace treaty."

"I trust my sources, I will speak no more on this matter, now go." Ichirou went off.

~~Later that week~~

Ichirou was known for his excellent spying techniques, it was rare for anyone to find him. He was spying on the kage of the village and heard nothing about betrayal until later into the week. The kage had organized a meeting with an enemy kage, it was a secret meeting, so the only one that knew were the two kages, a select few ninja and Ichirou.

"Ah, Bai, it's been too long", exclaimed the other kage with a smiling face. (note: Bai is the name of the allied village's kage.)

"Indeed it has, Madara", Said Bai, patting him on the back. (note: Madara is the name of the enemy village's kage... I got writer's block.)
____________________

"Alright, I just wanted to add something, I have to go now, I'll add more later. Criticism is welcome, just be blunt, no sugar coating, tell me what you really think about it. Tell me what I can improve on."

[Deadman]

Chapter 1 cont.


Kazuo became the kage of his village, he was very happy when he was elected, but his brother, Ichirou wasn't very happy at all. Kazuo had offered him a job as his right hand man, but Ichirou refused.

One day, Kazuo sent Ichirou on an S-Rank mission. Here is how it went:

"Ichirou, I need you to do some spy work on an ally village. I fear that they might attempt to ally with some enemy villages and attack us."

Ichirou looked confused, "How do you know this for certain? I thought it was them who proposed a peace treaty."

"I trust my sources, I will speak no more on this matter, now go." Ichirou went off.

~~Later that week~~

Ichirou was known for his excellent spying techniques, it was rare for anyone to find him. He was spying on the kage of the village and heard nothing about betrayal until later into the week. The kage had organized a meeting with an enemy kage, it was a secret meeting, so the only one that knew were the two kages, a select few ninja and Ichirou.

"Ah, Bai, it's been too long", exclaimed the other kage with a smiling face. (note: Bai is the name of the allied village's kage.)

"Indeed it has, Madara", Said Bai, patting him on the back. (note: Madara is the name of the enemy village's kage... I got writer's block.)
____________________

"Alright, I just wanted to add something, I have to go now, I'll add more later. Criticism is welcome, just be blunt, no sugar coating, tell me what you really think about it. Tell me what I can improve on."
good job man we needed that alot!!!!!!!!!!! i'll rep u!