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View Full Version : ~ Read ! ~ Uhz .. my poem to encourge ok just read it please !


MizukiUchiha11
08-17-2009, 08:00 PM
Uhz .. yeah my poem to support the beta war system thingy for the wars ok just tell me if its good or not ....


I'm the fire ,
your the soul ,
Together we can do the untold ,
Defeat the bad guys ,
Win the fight ,
Defend our villages with all our might .



~ Mizuki Uchiha !

So yeah ....

MizukiUchiha11
08-17-2009, 11:27 PM
some1 read and tell me if good .......

Sasori12
08-17-2009, 11:48 PM
Good job! :mrgreen:
I'm not a good critic though, I'm far 2 nice.

MizukiUchiha11
08-18-2009, 12:06 AM
Thankyou !

Shkin
08-18-2009, 12:20 AM
good. fire and soul. nice. i am encouraging you to lengthen it a bit (maybe another stanza). =D i see good poet. hang on to the image of fire and soul fighting the bad guys. defending the village...will rep you for this. =D

MizukiUchiha11
08-18-2009, 06:34 AM
*bows* Thankyou ...

[Shikamaru]
08-18-2009, 06:36 AM
Sorry to say, perhaps you'd better take a writing class. My apologies, you asked for honesty.

MizukiUchiha11
08-18-2009, 06:39 AM
Shut up ! I just randomly came up with it in the car i can write some totally better ! I won an award 4 some of mine ! Maybe I'll post some humm........ ? Oh wait yeah thankz 4 the honesty now I no not to enter something I put in for a class asinment or contest !

Mizuki

Sasori12
08-18-2009, 02:24 PM
Shut up ! I just randomly came up with it in the car i can write some totally better ! I won an award 4 some of mine ! Maybe I'll post some humm........ ? Oh wait yeah thankz 4 the honesty now I no not to enter something I put in for a class asinment or contest !

Mizuki
The dude is just giving his opinion, I think writing class is alittle harsh, because I thought it was a good poem, I aplod his honesty. Besides constructive criticism is good.

MizukiUchiha11
08-18-2009, 02:39 PM
The dude is just giving his opinion, I think writing class is alittle harsh, because I thought it was a good poem, I aplod his honesty. Besides constructive criticism is good.


No I ment something I Make out on the spot im not gonna enter it ...

(un)Godly Hiroku
08-18-2009, 02:40 PM
i thinks its pretty cool
im not a good critic either though but i actually thought it was kinsa funy

MizukiUchiha11
08-18-2009, 02:42 PM
Thankyou goody un watever but I see you have 1 rep power ! Yayz !

Row Inuzuka
08-18-2009, 02:44 PM
Thats really awesome. Your good at this

MizukiUchiha11
08-18-2009, 02:46 PM
Thats really awesome. Your good at this

Its not my best though its my about easyiest and for the forum one ...

Thankyou everyone ..

Zarah
08-18-2009, 02:51 PM
I'm a horrible critic. I'm far too honest Its horrible but good if you're just starting poetry Great job!!:)

MizukiUchiha11
08-18-2009, 02:57 PM
I'm a horrible critic. I'm far too honestIts horrible but good if you're just starting poetry Great job!!:)


LOL ! No But thankyou 4 honestly But I just came up with it outta no where in the car .... I'm a real poet but I dont post my poetry only my Weakest ones here ... I only enter mine in class assinments or contests ....

SakuraGirl
08-18-2009, 04:33 PM
love it really good

akatsukiangel16
08-18-2009, 05:00 PM
from writer to writer, i say that was pretty good, keep at it!

Sasori12
08-18-2009, 09:00 PM
No I ment something I Make out on the spot im not gonna enter it ...
O! ok. :mrgreen:

Sasori12
08-18-2009, 09:02 PM
I'm a horrible critic. I'm far too honest Its horrible but good if you're just starting poetry Great job!!:)
The best critick's are honest, if not a little 2 harsh.

Vatanui AKA Pride
08-18-2009, 09:48 PM
It seems good, but needs work.

Shinagami
06-06-2012, 10:37 PM
It's good. It's pretty raw, but I prefer that over the crap that's so proper and refined that it loses all meaning. So I like it :)