View Full Version : "emotion" by assassin

07-26-2009, 09:56 AM
Introduction- a forgotten story

In the year 1257 the worlds worst fears became reality. A powerful group of 10 demons rose near a small village in the Holy Roman Empire(now present day germany). each looked like a human but their power was far from being human and each had a characteristic that set them apart from humans. they called themselves the apocalypse. within a few days half the empire was set in flames.

Soon the group split up knowing that each had enough power to fight on their own and continued to destroy whatever came their way. each had a section of the world to destroy given to them by their leader the strongest of the 10 demons in the apocalypse.

But then a group of 10 men rose to stand against them. each gifted in some way. one was a vampire, a species known for thriving on blood and was sensitive to sunlight. the 2nd was gifted with the power of the hell hound cerberus. the 3rd was a healer from a land now known as the USA. the 4th was a russian cosak and the 5th was a japanesse ninja. the 6th was a british scholar and the 7th was a common thief from the Sahara in Africa. the 8th was a legendary spanish general and the 9th was a chinese profit that could use mystic talismans to control the elements. the 10th was a teenage boy the only one of them that had no special skill or talent and was taught by the other 9 worriors. this boy was the only one to see the demons and survive. he wielded 2 blades (one of light and the other of darkness).

the 10 went around the world and fought each demon successfully sealing each because they were immortal. in the end though, only the 10th stood against them and fought the leader of the apocalypse. in the end he too was sealed and the boy came to be the only one of the 10 to see the end result of their actions.

after the battle, all records of the incedent were burned and the weapons of the 10 worriors were sealed away. each of the seals holding the demons was buried as to prevent the apocalypse from coming again.

the year is now 2010 and the seals holding the members of the apocalypse grow weak.

to be continued

how was the intro of my story?

character profiles(will be edited often so come here to see changes in the story you may have missed.)

the Shotenkesuki(the heroes of the story):

Ethan-a boy who survived a meeting with one of the apocalypse. and is the only person alive to ever survive. he gained powers during that meet but has yet to know what they do main character of the story.
weight:105 lbs.
power:still unknown
home:north carolina USA

Derrius- a boy who's parents were killed and gained a dog like appearence and dog like abilities yet his true potential remains a mystery. his goal is to find the person who killed his parents and get his revenge.
weight:123 lbs.
power: has dog like powers but still remain a mystery
home:Michigan USA

Apocalypse(the bad guys):

hate:leader of the apocalypse with gray skin and black eyes. his powers are unknown.
weight:150 lbs.

greed: a demon girl who has a relationship with hate. has cold eyes and looks like a beautiful woman
weight:120 lbs.

blood: a demon with crimson red eyes and streaking crimson hair. can manipulate blood and use it as a weapon and has a thrist for it. when he finish's killing he absorbs all the blood into his own veins.
weight:110 lbs.
power:manipulating blood

other characters:

michelle: derrius's older sister who mistook him for the thing that killed their parents.
weight:127 lbs.

07-26-2009, 10:22 AM
um. does no one like it?

im sad.

07-26-2009, 10:25 AM
I like it!!! The 2nd gifted man doesn't really make sense sounds like he should be more of a demon than a hero. Sounds scarey I want to hear more.

07-26-2009, 10:27 AM
let me write.

Im going to write it so i can ask to have it published in a few years.


07-26-2009, 02:30 PM
alright. im writing chapter 1. give me a few minutes.

07-26-2009, 02:40 PM
alright. im writing chapter 1. give me a few minutes.

chapter 1- breaking out.

the school bell rings and all the students leave. a boy with blue eyes and a black mullet walks to his pick-up and opens the door. he gets in slams the door and drives off. while driving he thinks to himself finnally, tomorrow is the last day of school and i can leave all these idiots at this school for a few days.

meanwhile, in a uninhabited area in germany a large pillar of light appears. 9 others appear in brazil, russia, china, japan, Canada, Nigeria, South Africa, chile and England.

A figure comes out of each light. and each one has inhuman features. they all look to the sky and say almost simultaniously "It looks like a good day today........heh I'll make sure to change that". each disappear with a burst of speed heading toward a forest in Austria.

back to the boy who is now home. he gets himself a meal and shouts "hey mom" what do we got? "i don't know Ethan, look" answers the boys mother. sighs and says "fine whatever" grabs a bag of chips and eats them at the sofa.

07-26-2009, 03:20 PM
its good im currently writing two books im hoping to get the one Nike published when i finish the other is just a fan series for the book series warriors

07-26-2009, 05:15 PM
thank you.

I'll finish chapter 2 in a few minutes.

07-29-2009, 02:26 PM


thank you.

07-29-2009, 02:46 PM
This is MONEY!!!

07-29-2009, 02:59 PM
thank you.

I'll finish chapter 2 in a few minutes.

sorry it took so long to get this finished.

note: we change to another person in this chapter

chapter 2- the hell hounds chosen

"no one currently knows how or where the pillar of light that fell from the sky came from. 9 others appeared around the world" speaks the news reporter. "who cares" a boy on the couch says. the boy changes teh channel. "hey! Derrius, i was watching that." a girl next to him says. "come on sis why does it even matter" says Derrius. "because some of us have jobs. when you get older you'll have one to". "man your a pain you know that michelle".

later that night when everyone was asleep derrius's appearence changed. his hair grew long and his nail's grew into claws.

the next morning. "yaaaaaaaa" derrius sighs. time for school. he goes to the mirror and when he looks into it "holy crap!" derrius shouts. he runs down stairs screaming "MOM MOM". when he gets down the stairs he freezes in horror. his sister sits on the ground crying and his parents lay there dead.

michelle looks up and sees derrius. when she does she doesn't recognizes him and in a rage grabs a near by steak knife and screams, "you did this you monster"! she lungs teh knife at derrius and somehow derrius is able to jump over her. "what the----- how the hell'd i'd do that?" derrius says really confused. "DIEEEEEEEeee" shouts michelle. "come on sis what i do" derrius exclaims! to late the knife hits derrius in the arm and michelle realizes who it is she attacked. "D-Derrius w-why d-do y-you..." she stutters. "look like this? no idea" Derrius answers "I'm gonna find out who did this." michelle sighs then says " I know i won't be able to stop you so go. I can watch the house while your gone" "alright" derrius answers then runs off into the forest in their backyard.

to be continued.

jesse uzumaki
07-29-2009, 03:14 PM
wow not bad assasin your intro sounds cool I like the intro alot sounds interesting by the way let me guess in the year 2012 the seal well be broken and the 10 demons are realsed right just a guess if not I believe it well match the whole 2012 thoery.

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-29-2009, 03:40 PM
It's good, but has some mistakes.....also, add more detail. Can you read my story?

07-29-2009, 03:43 PM
It's good, but has some mistakes.....also, add more detail. Can you read my story?

I did. i like it.

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-29-2009, 03:45 PM
Post Comment too!
And Thanks.

07-31-2009, 02:19 PM
i like your story.

08-02-2009, 10:49 AM
I did. i like it.

chapter 3 - the Apocalypse

in a forest on the Germany/Austria border, a demon with pointed ears, cold green eyes, and the horns coming out of his head stands in the center. "rrrrg, Im growing impatient" the demon says. "oh shut up hate" a female demon with fangs and claws responds"we are the closest to the area". "I don't care Greed, they still should have been here by now" shouts hate very irritated.

a while later 7 other demons appear. one has red eyes and streaking red hair."hey"the demon says. "shut up blood"shout's hate. the next demon was bent over and looked emo he stayed silent."what took you agony"asked hate.agony stayed silent. two others appeared, one was large and the other was thin. "lust, greed your slow"shouted hate.the thin one spoke up and said "sorry bout the wait but Lust here got hungry". "heh sorry" lust apologized. 3 others appeared later on. "pain, sorrow, suffer". all 3 stayed silent.

none of them spoke for a while then an enormous demon appeared "you wasted time rage, don't ever do that again or i'll kill you" shouted hate. "heh, i got bored so i thought of killing a few ppl on the way" responded rage. "well what now hate" asked greed. "we shall do what we did last time, the ones that stood against us are dead and we are stronger than ever, each of you will take the same section you took last time". the other nine noded and left. Hate stood there quietly.

to be continued.

08-02-2009, 11:23 AM
awsome job dude.

08-02-2009, 11:24 AM

08-02-2009, 11:25 AM
no prob.

08-07-2009, 01:54 PM
alright. im about to do chapter 4.

also. im going to add profiles of every character that has been entered into the story already in the 1st post.

08-07-2009, 02:09 PM
chapter 4: blood in the streets

"Ethan, go to the market and get me some groceries" yelled the boys mother. Ethan sighs and replys "fiiiiiiiinnnnneeeee". then he goes to his pick up and goes to the grocery shop.

on his way over he is stopped by police because a man is standing on a extremely tall building and seemed to be committing suicide. he just watched and thought eh. at least i'll be entertained while i wait. the police were calling through a mic to him to come down but then...he jumped. everyone but Ethan watched in horror. Ethan just watched. then when he hit the ground. he just got up and looked at everyone menacingly. he opened his mouth and breathed loudly with a grin on his face.

everyone ran over to see what if he was ok. and then... blood came out of his body and it was sharp and killed everyone. Ethan spit out the drink he was drinking in astonishment. then he got out of his car and ran because his front right tire had been ripped open by the mans blood.

he ran and the man just followed and killed everyone he saw. Ethan hid in a back alley he saw behind a dumpster and thought to himself this guy isn't human! just then his left arm started to hurt and pulsate. he grabbed his arm in pain and noticed it turn black like a tattoo. but his hand grew into a claw. what the hell is happenning?! Ethan thought in fear.

when Ethan came out from behind the dumpster everyone was dead but.....there was no blood to be found when it was over.

to be continued.

08-07-2009, 02:27 PM
wow awesome!!

08-07-2009, 02:30 PM
thanks. but it's just getting interesting.

08-07-2009, 02:32 PM
I am glad came and look at it really good Assassin

08-07-2009, 02:47 PM
thank you.

08-07-2009, 03:08 PM
Yum, books. I'm writing a trilogy myself.

08-08-2009, 09:11 PM
who's your favorite character so far before i continue?