View Full Version : The Story of Yki Rose. (Part 1)

07-20-2009, 06:38 PM
Hey, I got so bored that I decided to write a fanfiction! It contains all made-up characters and stuffs that goes on in my crazy mind. And hopefully, it may become pretty popular.
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Part 1- The Land of Snow

Yki Rose slowly trenched through the snow. A long time ago, she'd given up on trying to stop the high snow from killing her ankles. They were numbing up on her for what? The 50th time. Yki sighed and sat down. She breathed hot air onto her ankles and groaned in defeat. She would of rubbed them, hoping to get a bit of warmth, but her hands were covered in snow. Yki scolded herself for all those winters she'd gone out without gloves when she was little even though her grandmother had tried to talk her out of it. Yki knew if her grandmother was still alive now, she'd rub Yki's dying ankles for her. Yki got up and started walking again. Yki would never understand the strange world she lived in. In some lands, like the land of snow, everything was freezing. Then, the land of fire, when you first get there from the front entrance, in only two steps you're torched. One step back, a step from the land of fire, you're freezing. It didn't make any sense!
Yki kept on walking until she neared a forest.
"How!?" Yelled Yki in defeat as she collasped right before the white trees. This was the absolute- 5th time she'd seen this forest, for she'd taken a million different paths, and every single one of them just HAD to lead back here. She'd made marks all around the border of the forest with a large stick lying on the ground, so she'd know if she stumbled back here, and here she was.
"This time, I am NOT going to see this forest again!" Yki vowed as she made the familiar walk back in. Yki wasn't afraid, her grandmother had always told her if she walked into a place once and got out alive, she could walk in a hundred more times until she got weary again.
"Oh, Grandmama, why'd you have to go and die?" Yki said to herself, over, and over, to herself so she couldn't get it out of her head.
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If you got down to here, thank you! I'm sorry it was so short, I didn't want to write allot and not have anyone like it. Please leave you're comments and tell me if I should continue. If I see people are liking it I'll make Part 2 longer. Thank you! :oops:

07-20-2009, 07:14 PM
wow i like it

07-21-2009, 08:54 AM
write more ^.^

Nick Tasogare
07-21-2009, 09:01 AM
Damn.....this is incredible

07-21-2009, 09:05 AM
am i picking up a touch of jealousy courtesy of nick tasogare?

Nick Tasogare
07-21-2009, 09:06 AM
Why would I be jealous? I'm just saying she is really talented.

07-21-2009, 09:08 AM
i asked if u were jealous, not stating u were jealous ^.^ and cherry what happened to ur other story? y dont u write more on that or is a lack of replies setting u back?

07-21-2009, 09:13 AM
wow i love it!!

Deaths Revenge
07-21-2009, 07:55 PM
I like it, its a good start, good presentation, could use a little work but its fine, excellent grammar and spelling, although there is slight sentence repetition, but overall its good.