View Full Version : Kazuki Hayate

07-15-2009, 03:26 PM
An orphaned girl, by the name of Kazuki Hayate, had her clan slaughtered. the people in question of the eradication was a cult, in the direct command of their leader, Kamisuri. Driven by anger, she trains hard to avenge the death of her clan.

who wants to hear more?

07-15-2009, 03:50 PM

Luna Mikazuki
07-15-2009, 03:52 PM
I wanna hear more

07-15-2009, 03:59 PM
You got my attention...more please.

07-15-2009, 04:16 PM
Story:Chp.1-When it rains Blood...
Kazuki lay down her head on her desk. The mumbling of her sensei. Talking about reveiw which she didn't need. She began to feel tired. She then fell asleep. She started to remember the things, horrible things. A day that she couldn't forget. She couldn't remember how long it's been since that day...

"Mom, may I leave?" I asked my mom. My mother heard me, so she asked, "To do what?"
"Oh, to go train.'"
"Shouldn't you go to sleep for tommorow? You'll be going to the acadamy."
"But mom, it's only 8:55."
"But you'll need the extra sleep for tommorow." My mother sighed. "Sometimes you remind me of your older sister, Misaki. She couldn't sleep and went off to trian before the Acadamy. Very well, " My mother said. "You may go out to train until 9:30."
"Thank you, mom." Kazuki left the house.
I heard a deafining sound as she approched the training grounds. It was the walls that I heard blow apart. I ran toward the village center, I stopped dead at the center. I saw slain Hayate clan members, and their blood staining the ground red.

07-15-2009, 04:16 PM
who wants to here more?

Luna Mikazuki
07-15-2009, 04:17 PM

Luna Mikazuki
07-15-2009, 04:17 PM
I do...

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-15-2009, 04:19 PM

07-15-2009, 04:28 PM
Oh me I do!!!

07-15-2009, 04:42 PM
Chp. 2-Living Nightmare
'What's happening? Why is this happening? Who's doing this? Why is he doing this? Why? Why?!' I stayed rooted to the spot. I felt useless, insignificant. 'Why am I not doing anything?' I finaly got to her senses. I ran back home. I ran past burning buildings. I saw the remainders of the Hayates who stayed behind to fight, battling unknown people in black cloaks violently. I picked up a katana from the body of a fallen Hayate and cut my way home. I heard metal hitting against metal coming from my house. I peeked through the hole in one of the many broken windows. I saw her parents fighting against 15 shadowy guys. They were taking them down, until someone blew a hole in the wall of the house's living room. Dust and smoke billowed out, and when the smoke cleared, a person came through the hole.
"I am the one who lead this massacre, and the one you'll have to slay." Mom and dad cut down the remainder of the cult members flanking them, and charged straight toward the leader of the cult. He merely shoved them away,and advanced toward my direction. She fought but, was defeated quickly.
The guy...he did something weird, odd. I fell into a genjutsu, watching in despair as the massacre replayed, over and over again.

okay, when i said village, i ment by the hayate residence(this is not supposed to relate to sasuke's story. my older brother is the 'editor')

07-15-2009, 04:43 PM
I need a break. I think ill write tommorow.

07-15-2009, 05:04 PM
woah. scary cool.

07-16-2009, 01:59 PM
please write more... or else...

07-16-2009, 02:46 PM
o.k, I'm writing

07-16-2009, 03:26 PM
Chp.3-To the Acadamy!
I woke up at early dawn. I looked around; dead prople. I saw dead people. "I failed them..." I whispered as she saw my parents dead, coloring the ground red with their own blood. Then, I fell back unconcious.
The next time I woke, I was in a hospital. I stood up and remembered that it was my first day to Acadamy. I tiredly said "Augh..." and after that, she remembered everything that happened last night in an intsant. I sat back down and slumped down back on the bed. After a few minutes , I looked around and found my shoes and, put them on. I ran out the building.
"Kazuki!" I stopped and looked around.
"Over here!" I looked in that direction, it was one of my older sisters, Tatsuki. I ran toward Tatsuki."How did you survive?"
"Hey that's not how you greet your sister like that!" Tatsuki joked. "You could hear my story later. You need to get to the Acadamy, now!"
"Oh no! I completely forgot!" I ran toward the Acadamy. 'I hope I'm, not late!' I got to the classroom door, and slammed it open. Many of the Acadamy students looked at me in suprise. I looked around, the teacher wasn't there. There was just a summoning tag. Moments later, it exploded, and smoke billowed out. Some of the students screamed and fell out of their seats.
"Hello there." He continued, " My name is Kimidori Akebono. I'm going to be your sensei. But, I'm a part time teacher." Kimidori continued, " Your other Sensei is a Hotaru clan member." He thought for a moment. " Now, let class beign!"

07-16-2009, 03:53 PM
I think I'm begining to suffer writer's block...

07-16-2009, 04:00 PM
Shadowslayer, in your sig, you spelled my name wrong. It's kazuki_65

07-16-2009, 09:17 PM
I'm done.

07-17-2009, 05:02 PM
Shadowslayer, in your sig, you spelled my name wrong. It's kazuki_65

oh sorry about that. i just changed it.

07-17-2009, 05:20 PM
who wants to here more?

07-17-2009, 11:06 PM
Chp.4-Student and Teacher

Guys, I don't realy have ideas for this chp.
I now am kinda suffering writer's block.

07-17-2009, 11:09 PM
i might be able to give u ideas after i read ur story more and can think straight too tired too think straight now

07-18-2009, 12:39 PM
Uhh...let's see, I said that the teacher, Kimidori started the class... o.k, so they do class then, break comes and then...I think I got it.

07-18-2009, 02:50 PM
HURRAY!!yay!!!woot!! :mrgreen:

07-18-2009, 03:00 PM
I just wrote a whole lot and it just all erased!

07-18-2009, 03:01 PM
Now I'm tired of typing it1

07-18-2009, 03:01 PM
I'll keep writing...:(

07-18-2009, 03:11 PM
stress, I'll write when i can...sorry guys.

07-18-2009, 07:24 PM
its ok, recuperate then keep writing

07-19-2009, 01:38 PM
Chp.4-Student and Teacher
<Two hours later>
"O.k class, time for break. After break you other teacher will come. She will reveiw over your assignment." Kimidori said. Everybody left the classroom exept me. I just stayed there like a rock, a rock on the bottom of the sea. "What's the matter Kazuki?" Kimidori questioned.
"People keep staring at me and talking behind my back." I answered back.
"Well, ignore them. Words are just merely words..." He continued, "Now, go outside and play, would ya'?"
"O.k sensei..." I headed for the door and when I looked back, Kimidori was gone. 'Strange...'
I sat down at the foot of a tree. I sighed heavily. I looked around and noticed a few girls looking at me. The girls started talking to each other. I over heard, "That's a girl right?" Some girl said. The other said, "Yeah that's a girl. I heard that she's a Hayate and her clan was massacred by some cult. My dad told me..." I got pissed off so she decided to climb the tree.
<After break>
"Hello, My name is Tsuki Hotaru. I am you other sensei." She announced to the class. "Like you other sensei said, I'm going to reveiw over you assignments." The Hotaru clan can sense chakra.
So when Tsuki was evaluating the class of the assignment, (she sensed a unusual large amount of chakra form the class. As her eyes landed on me, I felt realy weird when she was looking at her 'First just-people looking at me, and now this?!!' Tsuki thought to herself, 'Exeptional amount of chakra, must be one of the surviving Hayates.') I remembered Kimidori's words he told me earlier.
When Tsuki was still looking at me, the other students looked at me as well. "Uhhh..." Was all I said.
<After Acadamy>
"Tatsuki, alot of people were looking at me..." Tatsuki interupted, "It's o.k, you'll get used to..." I interupted her this time. "Even the part time teacher!!!" It was silent for a moment. "Ah HA Ha HA HA HA! That's just funny, Kazuki."
"It's not funny!"
"Yes it is...."
"NO IT ISN'T!!!!!"

Kazuki snapped out of her day-dreaming. She was in class. Her sensei, Kimidori was speaking to the whole class. She lifted her head up from the desk.

07-19-2009, 04:22 PM
The story will get intresting later guys.

07-23-2009, 08:54 PM
o.k, who wants to hear more?

07-25-2009, 08:31 PM
I want to know what happens. Keep writing please.:lol: keep up the good work.

08-02-2009, 09:04 PM
Chp.5-The Final Test!
"O.k guys, time for your final test for the year so, let's begin!" Kimidori spoke.
"I hate this test! Can't we just skip it?" said Toga. Toga was some guy that speaks alot and tries to show-off. "Unfortunenently for you, we can't skip it." Kimidori smiled. "I hate you!"
"Too bad, let's begin I said."
"Toga Wakaba, please come up and peform the bunshin no jutsu." Kimidori announced. "Stupid sensei, you just had to pick me first. I should have not said that out loud..." He murmered.
"O.k! Here it goes!!!" Toga consentrated as hard as he could. "Got it!" Two bunshins came out. "You barely got it." Kimidori said. "Huh?!!" Toga looked around, he saw one "dead" one. "Sensei! Do I still pass?"
"Yes...yes you do."
"Oh yeah!!!" He said while he punched the air with his fist.
20 minutes passed and finaly Kazuki was going to be tested. "Kazuki Hayate. Please come up and perform the bunshin no jutsu."
"Augh..." Kazuki groaned as she stood up. "Here goes." Kazuki tried to do the bunshin no jutsu. Nothing came out. "Uhh...I didn't expect that from you Kazuki."
"Sensei, can I try again?"
"Nope." Kimidori said firmly.
"Kimidori, just give her another chance. I have some feeling that she's going to make it this time." Tsuki said calmly.
"Fine. Try again."
'Oh yeah!' Kazuki thought to herself. She tried one more time. She thought of the massacre all of a sudden. It angered her. She summoned up 12 bunshins.
"I told you Kimi." Tsuki said happily. She smiled.
Kimidori was shocked. He was gaping at the sight of how many bunshins were summoned. "Erm..sensei? Did I pass?" Kazuki asked. "Uhh...yeah, of corse Kazuki. Yeah you pass..." that was all Kimidori could manage to say.
<After the test and the Acadamy>
"You passed Kazuki?!!" Tatsuki said suprised. "Yeah. I summoned up 12 bunshins!" Kazuki repiled. "Show me your headband!"
"Sure here it is."
"Good job, tommorow you have to go back to the Acadamy so you could get to you assigned team."

08-02-2009, 09:40 PM
"Listen up guys, time to assign you to your team." Kimidori announced. "Hey sensei! Can I be in Kazuki's team? She's cool." Toga yelled out. "You'll find out when I call it out Toga." Kimidori said exasperated. "Okey dokey sensei."
"Team 5, Rima Kuran, Kairen, and Kaname Kuran."
"Team 6, Kazuki Hayate, Toga Wakaba, and...Katsu." Katsu is just odd. He likes being bothered or he likes jumping into a lake in the middle of class. Minutes pass and then another team is called,
"Team 12, Asato, Seirin Shiki, and Takuma Hanabusa."
"O.k, I'll tell you guys something." Kimidori said. "What's it sensei?" Seirin questioned.
"I'll become the sensei of one of the groups."
"WHAATTTT??!!!!" Toga yelled(again...)
"Yes, I'll become a sensei for one group." Kimidori grinned(not a scary one.)
"I hate you sensei..." Toga said again.
"Mr. Wakaba, you just said that like...67 times this whole year."
"I still hate you."
"Now that makes it 68."
"Students, wait in the classroom for your sensei to come." Kimidori finaly said.
'Heh, sensei assigned me with Kazuki, now I can see how cool she is!' Toga thought to himself. Toga looked where Kazuki was. She looked "scary" to Toga when he saw her just staring at the wall, looking determined to do something. 'Uhh...I take that back, she's scary.'

08-02-2009, 09:41 PM
I wrote 2 chps cause I all of a sudden came up with some ideas. You guys like it?

08-03-2009, 11:59 AM
Who wants to hear more?

08-03-2009, 04:10 PM

08-03-2009, 05:10 PM
do u still need help writing?

08-03-2009, 05:10 PM
ME I WANTS MORE please please please

08-04-2009, 07:56 PM
do u still need help writing?

08-04-2009, 08:52 PM
Chp.7-Team meeting
<15 minutes later>
"Where is sensei?" asked Toga for the umpteenth* time. He continued."and everybody is gone already." "Maybe he went to a hot spring and got some sake and drank it. Now he must be drowning cause he forgot how to stand." said Katsu stupidly. 'I'm stuck with two morons.' thought Kazuki as she listened to nonstop blabbing. "I'm going to set up some traps for sensei so he could see how good I am!" Katsu said. He went off to set the traps. "Augh..." Kazuki said. After Toga heard Kazuki, he questioned. "Did you say something Kazuki?"
"Oh, o.k..." Toga agreed. Katsu yelled out "Oh yeah! I'm finished!!!" An ominous voice came. "Finished with what?" Katsu looked around. "YOUU!!!!!" Toga yelled out. "Yes. It's me, Kimidori Akebono. Your "former" sensei." Kimidori said. "Well Katsu, your traps did not work. O.k, follow me guys". Katsu, Toga, and Kazuki followed Kimidori. Katsu tripped on his own traps. "Told you Katsu." Kimidori said as he walked off.
<Outside, in the Terrace>
"Well, usualy the first day that a team meets, they introduce themselves. Uh...I'll go first. My name is Kimidori and I like eating ramen. My dreams...are none of your concern." Kimidori continued. "You next Toga. All you have to do is say what you like and your dreams. Not your name cause I already know it. You could say it if you want."
"Okey dokey sensei, here I go." Toga continued. "My name is Wakaba Toga and I like watching Kazuki train and do stuff in the class or outside. And I like...er someone."
"O...k. You next Katsu."
"My name is...KATSU! And I like doing alot of things like, dancing like a chicken. my dream is nothing."
"You next, Kazuki."
"My name...is Hayate Kazuki. I don't realy like anything. My dreams...will not be told." Kazuki said. "O.k, since we all got to know each other, tommorow we will have some "bell training"." Kimidori said. "Sensei, I don't realy get it by bell training."
"The bell training is to see if you guys are worthy to become real ninja." Kimidori replied. "So, we're not ninja yet? I thought you said at the Acadamy that making the bunshins were the final test to become ninja."
"That was the final test for candidates that wamt to become ninja." Kimidori continued. "Tommorow, we're going to have the bell training to see you guys are worthy enough. Here's a paper for the information." Kimidori passed the papers to them. Wake up at 6 o'clock and I advise you not to eat breakfast or else..you'll...puke."
"O.k! I'm not going to eat breakfast Kimidori sensei!"
"Meet you guys tomorrow." Kimidori said.

08-05-2009, 08:56 AM
lol awesomeness its funny ^.^

08-05-2009, 08:50 PM
I like the story. but all that gloom and depression over kazuki's head. It's like a horror/scary story(no offense.).

08-05-2009, 08:51 PM
but it's funny as well. Katsu tripping over his own traps...lol.

08-05-2009, 08:53 PM

08-05-2009, 09:06 PM
O.k, o.k. I'll write...

08-05-2009, 10:19 PM
Chp.8-Test starts.
"Kazuki, where's Katsu?" Toga asked her. "Don't know, don't care." was all she said. "Uhh..o.k. Odd answer." Kimidori finaly came walking toward them. "Hi Toga, Kazuki, and...where's Katsu?" Toga replied. "That's what I asked Kazuki. She said that she didn't care."
"Let's wait about 15 minutes more till he comes. Just so you know, it's 6:31."
<An hour later>
"Sensei! I'm hungry! I didn't eat breakfast just like you told me to do."
"Toga, I told you if you want to or not eat breakfast." He continued. "If you want to puke, you can eat. If you don't want to, don't eat. O.k?"
"Sure Kimidori sensei..."
"Finaly he comes..." said Kazuki.
"Hi guys!!!" Katsu yelled out form a distance. Birds flew away from the loud sound that Katsu made from his mouth. "Katsu!!! We waited about an hour for you to come!"
Katsu made a come back. "So? You should have not came early then."
"Grahh...that's why you came late."
"I was sleeping. My alarm clock broke, see?" He held up a broken alarm clock in his right hand and waved it back and forth. "Well then, since Katsu came, let's get ready. O.k, three, two..." Toga interupted. "Attack!!!"
"Not now Toga." He said as he stopped Toga from attacking. He continued. "I'll start over again..." He let go of Toga. "Three, two...GO!!!" All of them hid. "WAAAhOOOO!!! A river!!!" Katsu said as he was going to jump into the river. "No Katsu...no jumping into rivers after I said "go". " Kimidori said as he pulled him away. Kazuki saw that it was a good time to attack but, she stopped herself from attacking. She knew what if she accidently killed the moron? She put her weapons away. Katsu fiercely squirmed to get out of his sensei's grip. He finaly stopped of exaustion. "Come on sensei."
"Alright! yelled out Toga as he threw a few shurikens and kunais at his sensei. To ga jumped to a different direction. "Kimidori jumped away as the weapons went pass him. Katsu jumped into the river for the sake of his life. "Thock, thock, thock, thock, thock, thock, thock, thock!" All the sharp items made a quick loud sound as it hit the hard dirt floor.
<10 minutes later>
"Augh...50 more minutes." Kimidori complained as he walked through the training grounds. "Huh?!!" Kimidori said as he stepped on something ominous. 'Sh1t!' he thoght. Kazuki pulled on a string hard and smoke bombs set off. A few shurikens and knifes flew from traps toward Kimidori's direction. "Kazukiiii!!!!" Kimidori yelled out. Kazuki let out a dark smirk as she pulled more strings and saw her sensei fall and trip over more strings and traps. 'This trap is too hard to get out of!' Kimidori thought. 'I should have been looking where I was walking!' he thought. "Giving up now sensei?" said Kazuki as she jumped from her perch and retrieved a bell. 'Huh? two bells?' she thought. She jumped back to her perch and pulled a few more stirngs as she put the bell in her pocket. 'Katon: Honou no Tenshi!' she let out a giant blast of white fire from her mouth and jumped away in a different direction. 'Fire jutsu?' her sensei thought. Kazuki pulled one last string hard. It set off a giant explosion. "Gahh!" Kimidori yelled. Kimidori jumped out. His left side of his shirt and jacket was charred and burned. He looked around but Kazuki was out of sight.

08-05-2009, 10:35 PM
lol more bet your tiredd

08-08-2009, 03:51 PM
Sorry that I wasn't writing the story. I'll start writing.

08-08-2009, 04:26 PM
:DLOL funny

08-08-2009, 04:47 PM
"Augh, that just had to happen." Kimidori complained. He cursed himself for not even noticing at all(and his clothes got burned). He headed back to where they started the test.
<The river (or where Katsu is)>
"Heh, sensei didn't tell me to get out of the river! Oh yeah!" Katsu said as he swam in the river, left and right. "Katsu, just get out of the river..." said Kimidori as he went to pull Katsu out. "Aww...." Katsu complained. Kimidori bent down to pull him out. 'This is my chance!' Katsu thought. Katsu grabbed the bell on the right side os his sensei's pants and pulled the bell off. Then, he threw some smoke bombs at the ground and bounded away. "Heh...stupid." Katsu said under his breath. When he got to a tree to reat, he opened his palm. "Damn it!" he shouted as he saw what was in his hand. It was a round pebble tied to some red string. "Augh! Now I have to do my trick again!!!" he yelled out.
<Where Kazuki is>
"Heh, got one bell..." she opned her right hand and she saw....the same thing as what Katsu got...a pebble. "Sh1t!" she yelled out in frustration. 'This just had to happen...' she thought. 'Damned sensei is going to pay for doing this! Now I juat have to get the real bells...' she went off trying to find her sensei.
"O.k...." he started to gather in breath to yell. "2 MORE MINUTES GUYS!!! GET HERE AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!!" he yelled as loud as he could so his pupils could hear. 'Where could have Kazuki gone?' wondered Toga as he wandered around the practice field. "Hey idiot, follow me." said a voice. "Huh? Is that you Kazuki?" The voice started talking again. "Yeah, it's me. Now follow me." Toga was confused so he asked. "Where are we going? Are we going to go on a date?" When Kazuki heard that, she got her fist and punched him in the face. "No you clown faced idiot! We're going back to sensei!"
"Ow Kazuki, that hurted. You just had to punch me."
"You want a foot in your gut instead?" Kazuki said. Toga didn't answer so, she took that as a no. "Good, now come with me." Toga just shook his head in agreement and followed.
Katsu came first from the left, mutturing and cursing at himself. And from the right Kazuki and Toga came. "You guys take order well." Kimidori continued, "Toga, the log." Toga confused. "Huh?"
"One person gets tied up on the log. Well, that's you."
"You failed to get one of the fake or real bells." Kimidori said as he got some rope and walked toward Toga's direction. "Fine, tie me..." Kimidori tied him to the log. "Since Toga is now tied to the log, here's you lunches guys." He hamded the lunches to Kazuki and Katsu. "Hey! Where's mine?" Toga complained. "You can't eat with your hands tied up so, I'm going to eat it." He continued before Toga could speak. "I'll be back in a few minutes. Don't feed any food to Toga. Remember one thing...teamwork." Kimidori said sternly and went off with the lunch. When he was gone, Toga's stomach grumbled. "I'm hungry..." Kazuki looked around to check if her sensei was gone. "You could have my lunch." she said. "Huh? N-no, it's o.k. You don't need to give me that. Eat it yourself." Toga's stomach grumbled again as he spoke.
"Remember what sensei said?"
"He said to not give any food to Toga." Katsu said.
"No, he said...teamwork." Everything was quiet for a moment. Kazuki broke the silence. "Toga here, eat it before sensei comes back."
"How? My hands are tied up to the log."
"I'll do it!" said Katsu. "Now say 'ahhh'." Toga just opened his mouth in annoyance. 'I won't say 'ahhh' unless it was Kazuki or my mom.' he thought as his mouth was open. Katsu stuffed a bite sized piece of rice into Toga mouth. "Hey, don't shove the rice in!" Toga yelled. "I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO FEED HIM!!!!" an ominous (scary) voice yelled. Smoke was all over the place. "AHHHH!" yelled out both Katsu and Toga. Toga yelled as he flailed his feet around. Kazuki's onyx eyes widened. "Pass." It was Kimidori. He was just standing there smiling. "We...pass?"
"Yeah. You guys did something that I told you not to do but you used teamwork. Nice job...shinobi." Toga and Katsu was overjoyed. They started shouting in victory untill...Katsu stood up and dropped the food on his lap. Toga stopped shouting. "You dropped the grub..."
"At least we are shinobi now."
"Yeah." Kimidori untied the rope around Toga and they got their stuff and went off. "Tommorow, we have our first mission together."
"All right!" Toga shouted as they started off back home.

08-08-2009, 09:23 PM
Uhh...who wants to hear more?

08-09-2009, 03:08 PM
Hello? guys?

08-09-2009, 09:00 PM

08-16-2009, 08:49 PM
anyone? uhh...guys? are you there?

08-17-2009, 08:41 AM
thats really good! keep writing! you seem to be more motivated to write than I am. lol

08-17-2009, 09:13 PM
Chp.10-How she got out
<Later that day>
"I'm home." Kazuki called out. Tatsuki looked at Kazuki and smiled. She closed the book she was reading and set it on the table. "Hi Kazuki, how was your test?"
"Fine." Kazuki replied. Tatsuki smirked. "Hey, gloomy little sister. Come here." Kazuki just came toward her. "Yeah, what do you want?"
"Kazuki, remember that I told you that I would tell you how I got away from...yeah, you know..."
"Yeah, so what about it? I wasn't realy wondering anymore." Tatsuki glared at Kazuki after she spoke. Kazuki saw how Tatsuki felt so she said, "O.k, o.k, you can tell me. Just don't kill me."
"I wasn't going to kill you but, I'll tell you how I got out."
Tatsuki began. "Well, I was just in my room sharpening my weapons, I heard a few shouts and screams outside but, I stayed in, thinking that I was either hallucinating, or it was just some wild dog roaming around. Later, two ninja burst open my door and lunged at me. Luckily, I was stil sharpening my weapons so, I threw the sharpened weapons that were on the table at the two ninjas' heads. They fell to the floor, dead. I studied them to see if I killed rouge ninjas or our village's ninja. They were rouge nin. After noticing, I went to mother and father, they were gone. Your older brother, Ichiro came and told me that our residence was being under attack. So, both Ichiro and me, went out of our house and went to fight the ninjas. After we killed a few, I found out that we should escape or else we might die. All Ichiro yelled was, "Do you want the whole clan to die?!!" I said nothing after that. We just went off in seperate directions. I went to the house to pack and Ichiro went off to fight. I was done packing both, Ichiro's and my stuff. I was half way with your's till I heard a familiar shout. I came and rushed to the area and saw Ichiro holding onto his bleeding left arm. I saw that he was injured after he killed the rouge nin. I told him to come and follow me. He reluctantly followed me. When we came home, we saw mother and father fighting ninja. A few moments after that , I spotted you watching. So, both He and I stayed there watching too. The wall blew up after that and some guy came out. He walked toward your direction and set a genjutsu on you. After mother and father saw what he did to you, they both set the jutsu: Youkai Sakura* in case you die so, they will be sacrificed for the jutsu. Both the dude and our parents started fighting again. Later both mother and father died at sync. I looked at your body that was on the floor. At first, you weren't breathing later, you started to breath again. I went toward you and felt if you had a pulse. You were alive. The guy cackled and went off through the hole he made, laughing. When Ichiro and I were both sure that there where no more enemy ninja around, Ichiro went off to the living room to get his and my stuff and started packing yours and went off. I got you and followed him."
"So it was you who carried me off?" Kazuki interrupted. "Yes, know let me continue."
"Sure." Tatsuki continued after her response. "I went to the hospital and Ichiro went to tell the Morikage what had happened. That's about it of what I could remember." Kazuki just was silent. Later, she spoke. "How did you remember that after about 2 years?" Tatsuki replied. "I don't know. Some how I just remembered everything again cause I never told you. Plus, remember on the first day of acadamy I told you that I will tell you later how I got away."
"Never remind me of what happened to the clan." Kazuki just said and walked away to her room. 'Sigh, I hope Kazuki cheers up later.' Tatsuki thought to herself.

*-One of the clan's jutsus.

08-17-2009, 09:14 PM
*sigh* I'm tierd of typing all that...

08-18-2009, 08:48 PM

08-21-2009, 08:55 PM
I think I'll have to stop writing this damned story anymore.....

08-23-2009, 08:27 PM
maybe I'll just keep writing....

08-26-2009, 06:42 PM
ill just want to hear more........:)

08-26-2009, 10:06 PM
Chp.11-The mission!
<Meeting spot: the bridge>
"Hey Kazuki!" shouted Toga while running. Katsu followed behind repeting the same thing that Toga said. Kazuki just looked away in the different direction of them and said, "Sensei's comming." Toga stopped running and turned around suprised. Katsu without knowing just crashed into Toga. "Hmmm...you two might be excited to here all of this." Katsu looked up form the ground and said. "What's it about?" Kimidori smiled. "It's a C ranked mission. It's to escort this princess back to the castle where she lives." Toga looked up and said. "Woah...A C ranked mission. And it's our first!" Kimidori looked at him and said. "If you want this mission so badly, then let's go to the Morikage's office. He'll give it to us." Kimidori started walking off. Kazuki followed him and both Katsu and Toga ran to follow.
<Morikage's office>
"Hello, Morikage." Kimidori said as him and his team entered. The Morikage looked up from a pile of paperwork. "Oh, hello Kimidori. You're here for the mission, right?" Kimidori answerd. "Yes, and this hyper-active ninja is here for it too." Kimidori pointed at Toga. Toga smiled when he saw th Morikage look at him. "Ah, O.k, I'll tell you guys the informtion for this mission. You have to escort this princess back to her castle that is locted near the Village Hidden in the Hills. The guards were sure that there is no ninjas that are there to assasinate her. She is around the age of 10 so, you shoule take very special care for her. I heard that She could do advanced medical ninjutsu some how." He continued. "Since you heard all of this, I'm going to tell you something. You guys have to bring the nessisary things and items for this mission. Kimidori, make sure they bring the right stuff and tell them to hurry up."
"Roger that Morikage."
"You're not a soldier." Kimidori smiled and said, "I know that." and he went off with his squad. "Heh, heh, heh, he just likes doing that." he looked back down at his paper work and started reading again. As squad 6 got out of the kage building, Kazuki looked to the right from her. She saw a white carridge with two guards standing next to it and two white horses pulling it. It was parked next to the kage building. Kazuki looked through the carridge window. She saw a girl in a dark blue coat, blue eyes, and long dark brown hair. The girl looked back and smiled. Kazuki turned her head away. Kazuki thought to herself, 'She must be the one we have to escort...'
<In the carridge>
"I wonder who that was." said the princess. She smiled and said, "For I am Kin Hoshizaki, the second one in line for the reign of the White castle will not die in this escort!" She looked out the window and saw Kazuki walking off in a distance with the rest of team 6.
<Squad 6 at the meeting spot: the bridge>
"O.k squad 6, you have a limited amout of time to pack things and items for our mission. You have 30 minutes to pack! Come back after you're done. Go, hurry up!" Kimidori said. Katsu, Toga, and Kazuki ran off in seperate directions to their homes to pack. Kimidori came in 12 minutes. 25 minutes later, Kazuki and Katsu came. 33 minutes later, Toga came with an excuse for his tardyness. "O.k, let's go back to the Morikage for this mission to begin!" They all went off to the kage building.

08-27-2009, 09:38 PM
Princess!? Of all the things you can think about, you chose a princess!? :shock: But I still like the story.;)

08-27-2009, 09:38 PM
Let's hear more, all right?

08-27-2009, 09:41 PM

08-27-2009, 09:42 PM

08-27-2009, 09:42 PM

08-28-2009, 12:22 PM
Chp.12-Escort the princess!
"Yo, kage. Brought the students and their stuff right here." Kimidori said as he took off his backpack when he got in. He set it on the floor. "Well Kimidori, let's get started on this mission." the Morikage led team 6 outside the kage building and pointed at a snow-white colored carridge. "See that?" he said. "That, inside there, is the princess. She'll tell you extra information on herself when she wants to."
"Hey, Mori." Kimidori started. "are you sure about giving them this escort mission as their first? I'm serious, their first?" The Morikage interupted. "Yes, I'm sure about what I'm doing. I testing them. If one gets seriously injured, immidately bring him or her back. Got it?" Kimidori nodded in agreement. "O.k cell 6, Let's get going!"

(dad told me to turn it off. I'll write other part of story around 7:00.)

08-28-2009, 10:36 PM
Chp.12-Escort the princess! (cont.)
They all headed toward the white carridge. A young girl stepped out and spoke. "Hello, I'm Kin, Kin Hoshizaki." she got her hand and swished back her hair. Kimidori answered back. "Hi, I'm Akebono Kimidori. That," Kimidori pointed at Toga. "is Wakaba Toga." Kimidori pointed at Kazuki. "This here is Kazuki Hayate. Quietest of the group also talented." Kin smiled. "Hello, I've seen you before." Kin said as she looked at Kazuki with some weird way(to Kazuki). Kimidori looked at Kazuki. "Oh realy, Kazuki, is that true?" Kazuki looked away. "Yeah, saw her through the carridge window when we were getting out of the Kage building the first time." Toga shouted out. "Let's get this mission started already!" He pointed his finger in the air. Kin smiled. "I know, let's go now." The two guards nodded to Kin and the two guards went on to the front of the carridge and whipped the white horses to start moving. Team 6 walked along side. As they headed toward the gates of the village, they had to stop every now and then cause of some passer-bys. After they went through the village gates, they picked up speed and started running. Kazuki's position was near the window as she ran. Kin looked at Kazuki through the window. "Hey, sensei!" Kazuki called out. "What?" Kimidori asked. "I think we should slow down. I see two figures up ahead of us." Kimidori looked a little more carefuly in front of him. "Guards! slow this thing down!"
"Yes, sir." They slowed down the horses. Kimidori ran infront. As Kimidori ran closer, He saw two swords in the two figures' hands. 'Sh!t!' he thought. He stopped running. He got his sword that he packed and took it out of it's sheath. Kazuki saw what had happened. "Hey! Stop the carridge!" the two guaurds stopped the carridge quickly. It jerked forward a bit. "Katsu! Toga! Take care of the escort!" Both of them nodded. Kazuki ran foward and got a kunai out. The guys were attacking Kimidori with their swords and Kimidori blocked. Kin opened the carridge door to watch. Kazuki flipped over them and got behind the guys. SHe threw her kunai at one of the guys head. It flew at his head and killed him. The second one attempted to slash her, but she used reflex speed up. She dodged the sword easily. "Take this!" she yelled as she took the guys sword and threw it at the guy's gut. Kin saw it all. 'Woah...' she thought. Kin gasped when she saw a slash on Kazuki's left shoulder. "Augh!" Kazuki fell to her knees and started holding on to her wound. Kin ran out of the carridge. "Are you alright?" she asked. "Y-yeah." Kazuki stutterd. "Let me see it." Kauzki took her hand off and cringed. Kin's eyes grew big. "It's pretty deep. Let me heal it." Kin placed her hands over Kazuki's wound. Kin's hands started to emmit chakra from it. Kazuki's shoulder wound started to heal. "Got it." Kin said. "Thanks." Kazuki stood up and walked back next to the carridge. Kin got back in side of the carridge by herself. Kazuki looked at her shoulder to see if it was realy healed. It was completely healed with no mark at all. 'She just healed it in 7 seconds...' Kazuki thought. The carridge started moving again. Katsu came next to Kazuki. "Hey, Kazuki. Let me tell you something." Katsu said in a non-stupid tone that he usualy uses. Kazuki turned her head toward Katsu. "What?"
"It's kinda weird but, I'm going to tell you this."
"Spill it, clown."
"I can see how people feel."
"So? What about it?" Katsu smirked. "I can see that..."
"C'mon! Spill it!" Kazuki lifted her fist up.
"O.k, o.k, I'll tell you! " Katsu started to whisper. "I could tell that...Kin likes you..."
"Remember that you kinda look like a boy?" Kazuki regained her "cool". "Yeah right...sure." Kazuki was looking bashful as she said that. 'Heh, this is going to be fun...' Katsu thought to himself.

08-29-2009, 09:28 PM
who wants to hear more?

08-31-2009, 01:24 PM
i want to hear more..

08-31-2009, 04:28 PM
http://images.search.yahoo.com/images/view?back=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.search.yahoo.com%2Fs earch%2Fimages%3Fp%3Dnaruto%26b%3D21%26ni%3D20%26p start%3D1%26fr%3Dyfp-t-701%26fr2%3Dxpl&w=350&h=500&imgurl=static.flickr.com%2F2061%2F2120818339_615a0 d3c0f.jpg&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.flickr.com%2Fphotos%2Fsakura tonks%2F2120818339%2F&size=184k&name=Naruto+Horoscope...&p=naruto&oid=7145ad11aeec4184&fr2=xpl&fusr=sakuratonks0...&no=32&tt=2217237&b=21&ni=20&sigr=11kb958un&sigi=11guiocf3&sigb=12u0u0ej9

08-31-2009, 10:30 PM
Chp. 13-Mission has just Begun!
"I saw the head bands of the ninja that attacked us earlier." Kimidori announced. "They were stone ninja from Ishigakure." Kimidori glared at the 2 guards. "You 2 lied to the Morikage. This should have been a B rank mission. Possibly...could you 2 be...." The 2 guards started snickering and chuckling. "So, you finally found out foolish forest ninja." They stopped the caridge instantly. The stone ninja both jumped off the carridge and tore off the desguises and it revealed stone ninja clothing. "What the hell are you guys planning to do?!!" Kimidori yelled. "We're here to kidnap the princess!!!" one of the stone ninja replied in a yell. Toga, Katsu, and Kazuki stood in a formation around the carridge in a postion to attack. Katsu and Kazuki stood in the sides of the carridge and Toga stood in the back. Kimidori took out a sword. The 2 other stone ninja did too. They both attacked at the same time. Took out 5 kunais with explosive tags on them at the ninja. 4 hit one of the stone ninja's stomache. It exploded at left a bloody mess on the floor. He was dead. The other kunai hit the floor and did nothing but form a dent on the floor. "What's happening?" Kin asked as she got out of the carridge. "Stay in!" Kazuki said quickly. Kin didn't listen she stepped out behind Kazuki. "I said stay in!" After she said that, the carridge exploded cause the stone ninja threw a kunai with an explosive tag tied to it. "Forget I said that." Kazuki said. Kimidori and the stone ninja clashed swords. They both tried winning the saber-lock. Kimidori won. The ninja had an opening and Kimidori slashed at the ninja's chest. Blood poured out. Before he fell to the floor he threw a kunais at Kin's and Kazuki's direction. Kazuki got stabbed several times and fell off the cliff-like road. "Kazuki!!!" Kin jumped off with Kazuki and grabbed her. After that, they both fell into a river below.

09-01-2009, 01:56 PM
i want to hear more...

09-01-2009, 09:33 PM
Chp. 14-Stranded.
Kimidori looked down the cliff. "Oh cr@p..." He looked toward Toga and Katsu. "We'll have to retreive them...dead or alive."
"Are you serious?!!" Toga asked franticly. Kimidori nodded his head yes. "Are you trying to kill us?" Toga asked again. Kimidori ignored the whinning and got out a long rope. He tied it to a near by tree. And knotted it tightly. And threw down the rest of the rope down the cliff. "O.k, let's climb down this rope to retreive them." Katsu was in a less crazier mood. "Sensei, remember that there's a river flowing down there?"
"Yeah, I know." Kimidori spoke again. "There's a river bank that I could see. How 'bout we go down and folow the river."
"Good idea, sensei." Toga said.
<Kazuki's and Kin's area>
'Kazuki, wake up...Wake up already!' Kin thought to herself. Later, she couldn't take it any more. She fell unconscious but still clutched onto Kazuki. Minutes later, Kazuki woke up. She found herself floating in a lake now and, with Kin clutching on to Kazuki's shirt. 'I must find some where to shelter...' Kazuki thought and started swimming. She could feel the pain af kunais stuck on to her, but still kept swimming.
<On the ledge where Kimidori, Toga, and Katsu are>
"Guys, you have to listen to my directions when we start going down. Got it?" Kimidori told the remnants of team 6. "Got it." Both Toga and Katsu said. They started to climb down the rope to the river bank. When they reached the bottom, Kimidori pointed the opposite direction that Toga was walking. "Toga, this way." Toga looked behind him. "I know that sensei, I was...uhhh...checking." Toga replied. "Yeah, right Toga, said Katsu that was following Kimidori. "We have no time to lose! They might even be dead by now if we don't hurry!" They all started to run after Kimidori said that.
<Kazuki's and Kin's area>
Kazuki kept swimming till she saw a cave on some short cliff. 'Maybe there...' She thought to herself. When she swam to the lake's bank, she got Kin's unconcious body and carried her on her(Kazuki) own back and started walking. 'She's still unconscious, what a drag.' She thought as she walked closer to the cave.
<Kimidori, Toga, and Katsu.>
"Any trace of them, guys?" Kimidori asked as they ran. "Nope, not yet." They kept running till, they got to the end of the river bank. "Maybe, they drowned." Katsu suggested. "Don't think so, Kazuki's not that weak." Kimidori answered. "Or is she?" repiled Katsu. Toga started to shake. "Katsu, don't get Toga worried sick about her." Toga stopped shaking and said. "Do we have to swim across that lake?" he pointed toward the lake. "I guess we have to." Kimidori said. "Can we first check this river if they drowned? Or check this area more?" Katsu asked. Kimidori stayed still for a moment. "Yeah, let's do that. We haven't really done anything but follow the river."
<Kazuki and Kin's area>
When Kazuki was at the side of the cave, she used a Hayate technique to see through the cave's walls. She saw nothing and nobody in the cave. She got inside the cave and lay Kin down on the cave's floor. Then, she looked at the entrance of the cave. "This place is almost hidden. It might be almost impossible to for sensei to find us." After she said that, she remembered one thing, she dripped a trail of blood. She remembered the kunais stuck on her body. She felt kinda dizzy as she started to pull out kunais from her body. When she finished taking all of them out, she was too dizzy to move. Kazuki fell on the floor a few feet away from Kin.

09-02-2009, 09:44 PM
anyone want to here more?

09-03-2009, 09:12 PM
:D:pI waNt to hear more!

09-03-2009, 10:25 PM
Chp. 15-The Search.
Kin healed Kazuki's wounds and waited for Kazuki to wake. Kin waited, and waited, and waited. 50 minutes later, Kin lost her temper. "Augh! Wake up already Kazuki!!!" She slapped Kazuki's right cheek hard. Kazuki replied without knowing who it was. "Ugh!!! Augh, you witch!"
"I just healed your wounds!"
"Then you're a medical witch." Kin softly replied to Kazuki 8 seconds later. "Kazuki, wake up." Kazuki sat up with a hand on her cheek. "Oh, uhh...I didn't know it was you Kin. Sorry." she countinued. "Oh, and that pretty hurted..."
"Sorry Kazuki." Kazuki took her hand off her face and set it on her lap at these words. Kazuki stood up and went to the entrance of the cave. "Well Kin, we'll be stuck here untill Kimidori sensei and the others come." Kazuki looked below. "Or maybe...Kin, you stay here. I'll be back soon." Kazuki jumped off the cliff that was close to the entrance of the cave. 'Yeah, you better be back soon.' Kin thought. Kazuki landed on the ground and ran to the lake's bank. She looked around and ran back in to the cave. "Kin! Did anything or anybody try getting in?" That was Kazuki's first response. "N-no." Kin stuttered after she heard Kazuki suddenly. Kazuki sat in front of the cave's mouth.
<Kimidori, Katsu, and Toga.>
"It's all Kazuki's fault we're in this mess!" Toga complained while hitting a stick against a giant stone. "No, it's not Kazuki's fault, it's the enemy ninja that attacked us." Kimidori said. "Sensei, shouldn't we go find them instead of hearing Toga nagging?" Katsu asked. His sensei answered back, "Yeah, let's go."
<In the cave>
Kin stood up to go sit next to Kazuki. Kazuki looked up when Kin stood next to her. Kin sat down and Kazuki looked back at the lake. "Uhh...Kazuki." Kin started to blush. Kazuki didn't notice her blush. "Yeah, what?"
"Erm...I wanted to tell you...."
"Tell me...?"
"I wanted wanted to tell you that...."
"I wanted to tell you that I...th-that I..." Kazuki noticed what she wanted to say. So, Kazuki said. "Heh, so, you wanted to tell me that you liked me?" Kin blushed even more. "Y-yes..." A little spark flicked in her head suddenly. "Wait, you knew this all the time?"
"Yeah, Katsu told me." Kazuki spoke without looking at Kin at all. It was quiet for a short while. "Kin, I'm sorry to tell you that I'm actualy a..." Kin pointed at the lake. "Look! Isn't that your sensei?" Kazuki looked at where Kin pointed. Kazuki took out some flares and threw them into the air after she tore off the triggers. It blasted red colored lights. Kimidori looked up. 'That must be Kazuki.' he thought. Katsu was crazy again. "Ooooh!!! Fireworks!!!" he started dancing. "You guys, wait here." Kimidori said. He ran toward the flares. Kin looked at Kimidori running toward the flares. She stood up, just like Kazuki. Kazuki kept looking at Kimidori comming closer to the cave. Kin looked at Kazuki and did something that Kazuki herself wouldn't even think that Kin would do. Kin kissed Kazuki on the cheek where she slapped her. Which, this startled Kazuki so much that it made her choke on the air she breathed in. Kimidori jumped in front of them. "Hello guys." Kimidori saw Kazuki coughing a bit still. "You 'kay Kazuki?" Kazuki stopped coughing and cleared her throat."Y-yeah." Kimidori smiled alittle bit. "Let's go now. We need to finish this mission. Princess, get on my back. We're going to be jumping off the cliff behind me." Kin climbed onto Kimidori's back. They jumped off and went to the lake's bank. Kimidori started to walk on water and Kazuki waded. When Toga saw them comming, he started yelling. "HEY, KAZUKI!!! LONG TIME NO SEE!!!!" They reached where Katsu and Toga stood. Katsu started to dance around Kin and Kazuki(whom was wet). Toga got pissed off. He punched Katsu in the face and Katsu fell down. 3 seconds later, Katsu stood back up. "Uhh...what just happened?" Kimidori broke in. "Forget about that but, let's get to the castle." This time Kazuki answered, "Sure, if it enlightens you."

09-03-2009, 10:25 PM

09-06-2009, 08:35 PM

09-07-2009, 06:28 AM
Nice story :).

09-07-2009, 09:03 PM

09-07-2009, 10:31 PM
At last, someone else other than me and kamichi has responded and quoted on your story, kazuki_65!

09-07-2009, 10:33 PM
You know, if they're only two people listening and responding to a story, it can get pretty dull.

09-07-2009, 10:33 PM
Well, at least someone else responded and listened.

09-07-2009, 10:34 PM
I want to hear more!

09-07-2009, 10:46 PM
I wAnT tO hEaR MoRe!!!!!

09-09-2009, 09:40 PM
Chp. 16-Arrival to the White Castle.
<Next day(after night's rest)>
"Let's get to the castle now, guys." Kimidori said as he put his back pack on. "Could I have a cupcake sensei?" Katsu asked. Kimidori looked at his idiotic disciple. "No Katsu. You'll get it when we get back to our village." Katsu's happy face turned into a frown. "Let's get moving." Kimidori said. Team 6 started walking with Kin, the princess.
<An hour of walking later>
"Are we there yet?" Toga complained. "Almost." Kimidori answered back. "Princess," Toga said. "Don't you need a rest or something?" Kin didn't complain or say anything. She walkied and and kept her eyes on the road. Toga didn't say anything after he heard nothing. 'That's odd' "Hey guys!" Kimidori exclaimed. "We're here!" He pointed up at a huge white castle. "Oh god..." Toga gaped after he said that. Kimidori looked at Kin. "Home, right?" He asked. Kin finaly spoke. "Y-yeah..." Kimidori suspected something wrong but, he kept walking toward the castle with the rest of his team and Kin. Untill..."Watch out guys!" Kimidori shouted. Arrows were shot at their direction. Kimidori grabbed Katsu and took cover. Kazuki grabbed Kin's arm and tried pulling Toga with her but she missed. "Ahhhhh!!!" Toga yelled as he got ready to get hit. Kin tried to loosen Kazuki's grip. Kazuki gripped harder. "Stay still!" Kazuki whispered. Kimidori took out his sword and jumped in front of the arrows before it hit Toga. He cut and blocked the arrows and pulled Toga with him. "Kin," Kazuki whispered. "Is this some kinda defence of the castle?" Kin shook her head no. Kazuki looked back at the castle. A bunch of people came out of the castle. 'What the hell?' Kimidori thought. They people turned out to be Hidden Stone ninja. 'What are they doing here?' Kimidori thought. Something little pinged into his mind.
"I saw the head bands of the ninja that attacked us earlier." "They were stone ninja from Ishigakure." "You 2 lied to the Morikage. This should have been a B rank mission. Possibly...could you 2 be...." "So, you finally found out foolish forest ninja."
<Back in the present>
'Crap! They're stone shinobi!' Kimidori thought. The stone ninja stayed still. Kimidori took out a small summoning scroll and summoned a raven. He put a scroll-like messege in the raven's beak. He signaled it to walk some distance and fly later. It nodded and "walked" away. 'This now might be a A rank mission!' Kimidori thought. 'Wait...they're after Kin! We're going to be doomed untill more of our ninja come. Gah....' Kimidori continued watching the stone shinobi untill, some one else came out of the castle. "My fine stone shinobi, find Hoshizaki Kin and the others that are escorting her. After you find them, kill the escorters." Kimidori saw it was the stone village daimyo. "Kazuki!" Kin whispered. "They're going to kill you guys!" Kazuki gripped harder. "Shut up..." Kazuki whispered. She loosened her grip a bit.
"Ah, what's this?" The Morikage asked as he took the messege out of the raven's mouth. "A messege from Kimidori? Hmmm...What?!!" He set the messege on his desk. His assistant spoke. "Is it bad?" She asked. Her name was Moriko. "Yes, very bad. Moriko!"
"Get 20 jonin here now!"
"Yes sir!" She ran out of the office quickly. 15 minutes later she came back with 20 jonins. "You summoned us?" One of the jonins asked. "Yes, something very bad has happened. Kimidori, team, and their escort, is now in deep trouble." The Morikage explained everything else. "You must get there very quickly. Got it?"
"Yes." Then all the jonin all rushed out of the office. The Morikage spoke. "I hope I didn't make the mistake of assigning Kimidori and his team on this mission..."

09-09-2009, 09:43 PM
I can't get on the computer on the weekdays, only weekends.

09-10-2009, 09:02 PM

09-13-2009, 08:03 PM
I WAnt to hear more..

09-13-2009, 09:27 PM
Chp. 17-Belly of the Beast.
Kazuki continued to grip Kin's wrist. "Don't move..." Kazuki whispered. Kin nodded yes. Her eyes pasted to the castle and the stone nin. "They're hiding in the bushes!" The daimyo loudly announced. The ishi shinobi started to search in the bushes. Finally, the stone ninja approached the bush where Kazuki and Kin where. "I think one or two are here." One of the ninja said and pointed at the bush. Kimidori looked around. 'The back-up should be here...' He thought. Someone tapped Kimidori's shoulder. "Kimidori...we're here......" Kimidori panicked for a moment. "O-oh, it's you." It was one of the 20 jonin, Tsuru. Kimidori looked at where Kazuki and Kin where. "One of my students and the escort is cornered by those ninja, stone ninja." Kimidori whispered. "No problem." Tsuru whispered back. He got a few senbons and threw them at the stone ninjas' necks. "What the hell?" Kimidori whispered back. It struck the ninja's necks. They fell. "Oh, I wasn't supposed to do that?" Tsuru asked. Toga broke in. "For a jonin, you're stupid." Tsuru looked at the bodies. "Ah well." He dissapered and appered at the bodies then, later dissapered after a second. "I saved your student and the escort, I got the bodies and now what?" Tsuru asked behind Kimidori's back again. "You shouldn't be talking so loud and you call yourself a jonin?" Katsu asked. Something pinged through Katsu's head. He clamped his hands to his head. "Augh! It-it's happening again!" Katsu said. Tsuru looked at Katsu. "What's wrong with him?" Kimidori looked at Katsu. "Ah sh1t!" He took out a cupcake from a bag. Tsuru's face looked confused when Kimidori pulled it out. "Where's my cupcake...." Katsu crazily said but, quiet. Kimidori shoved it in Katsu's veiw. "Here." Katsu took it and started eating it. The daimyo and the stone ninja looked at the area where the other stone ninja fell, "Go invetigate the area!" The daimyo ordered. The stone ninja started to run to the area. Kazuki let go of Kin arm. "We're surely dead..." Kin whispered silently.

09-20-2009, 08:10 PM

(I realy want to write the next chp.)

09-20-2009, 08:20 PM
Yes, I want to hear the next chapter( I know you're dying to write the next chapter).

09-20-2009, 08:21 PM
Oh, and by the way, everyone wants to read some action about now.

09-20-2009, 08:22 PM
Make the chapter intresting enogh to read, o.k.?

09-20-2009, 09:40 PM
Chp. 18-Doomed
The stone shinobi serched through the bushes where Kazuki and Kin hid in. One of the hands were approaching Kazuki. Kazuki started to back off, the hand got closer. Kazuki once again grabbed Kin wrist. Kazuki rumaged through her pouch. She took out a kunai and aimed for the hand that tried reaching for her then, she threw the kunai at it. "Augh!!! M-my hand!" the stone ninja quickly pulled out his hand out of the bush. Kazuki jumped back quickly. Kin was pulled with Kazuki. "They're in here! Get them!" Kazuki started to run but she tripped on a twig that stuck out from the ground. "Sh1t!" Kazuki fell to the floor. Kin too, fell to ground. "They're over here! Over here!" Kazuki heard the footsteps of the ninja. She pulled out a kunai, and stood up. The ninja arrived. "Ah, so this the escorter? I heard there were 4." He smiled. "Well, it's easier this way so, let's kill the escorter." Kazuki got into a ready position. Kimidori looked where Kazuki and Kin where. "Tsuru! They're under attack!" Tsuru looked where Kimidori was looking. More and more stone ninja ran to the area. It started to crowd a bit. 'Katon: Honou no Tenshi!' Kazuki spouted out white flames from her mouth. Kin stared at the flames as it ingulfed the enemies. Kazuki finished blowing out the flames. 'W-what?!!' She stared at the stone shinobi. There were blackened walls of stone. "Tsuru! Order the jonins and chunins to attack! Now!!!" Kimidori shouted out. Tsuru snapped out of staring at the stone walls that came out from the earth. "Heh heh heh, Ishi Kabe, Stone wall!" One of the stone ninja said then smirked. The walls sunk back into the earth. "NOW!!!" Kimidori shouted loudly. He jumped out of the bushes and pulled out his blade. Kimidori was furious. When he landed on the floor, he cut down 5 stone ninja. Tsuru finaly ordered the jonins and chunins to attack. "I'll never let one of my comrades get cut down in front of me!" Kimidori said. Some of the stone ninja smirked and chuckled. "Never? Heh, that's a whole load of bull-" Tsuru punched the dude in the face and caused him to fall to the ground. "No one...calls what my friend said...a whole load of bull sh1t!" Tsuru went beserk and started to punch him more. The stone ninja were about to attack Tsuru but the other forest ninja jumped out and started and started to fight. "Katsu, are we supposed to fighting over there?" Toga asked Katsu whom was still licking of the frosting on his fingers. "Hmmm?" Katsu stopped licking his fingers and looked up. He wiped his fingers on the grass and took out a water canister and poured some water on his fingers. "Well?" Toga asked. Katsu looked up at Toga's face. His eyes widened and his face fell back to the ground with a thund. "Well, I'll wait till he wakes up." The shinobi from the stone and the forest fought hard. A kunai flew toward Kin. Kazuki quickly saw it and jumped in front of it with her own kunai in her hand. Kazuki deflected it with the kunai she held. The kunai flew to a stone ninja and stabbed him in the arm. Kimidori was fighting the dude and took the opertunity to kill the dude. He killed the stone ninja by stabbing him in the back which went through his chest and the balde tip hit the floor. Kimidori pulled it back out. Kazuki looked for the controler of the enemy shinobi. She looked around ahead of her. There, she saw the daimyo that was sitting in a chair and drinking sake. He was madly laughing. "Mai ya hee! Mai ya ho! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!" He danced with the cup in his hand. "Stupid son of a..." Kazuki took out two daggers from a sheath that was strapped on the sides of her lower part of leg. It was a present from her sister, Tatsuki.
<Flash back>
"Kazuki, here. This is a presnet from me to you." "Why?" "Cause you became a genin!" "Well, what ever..." "Use this when you need to. Don't recklessly use it." "O.k"
<Back in time where all the action is happening>
She crossed her arms with the blades facing out wards. She ran toward the direction of the mad drunken daimyo. "Haahh!!!" She ran and ran and ran. "The daimyo!" one of the stone ninja shouted out. Two of the ninja ran toward Kazuki. "Kazuki!!! Behind you!!!" Kin yelled out. Kazuki looked behind her and said, "Interference..."

09-21-2009, 06:45 PM

09-25-2009, 05:23 PM
what happens next?..
well. i wanna hear more..

09-25-2009, 10:07 PM
Chp.19-Held Hostage
The stone ninja rushed at Kazuki. 'Augh! They're gaining up on me!' Kazuki thought to herself. She looked back at the stoned daimyo. She was close to slicing off his head with the daggers untill, "Ha! We're right next to you!" Kazuki looked at her left and right. "Hah!" Kazuki sliced at the stone ninja that were at her left and right with her daggers. "Uaaugh!!!" Both of the ninja screamed out. Both of the ninja fell to the ground. "Eat metal, you stoned idiot!!!" The daimyo looked at Kazuki. "Eh?" Just as Kazuki was about to cut off the daimyo's head. A stone ninja appeared in front of Kazuki and grabbed both of Kazuki's arms. "Heh, got you brat." Kimidori saw Kazuki being held. "Tsuru! She going to be held hostage!" Tsuru nodded his head in a agreement. He signaled three jonins and two chunins to go toward Kazuki's direction. Kazuki thought for a few moments to get her self out of the stone shinobi's grasp. She got it. She tripped the dude and changed the position of how she was holding her daggers. She stabbed at the bottom of the guy's wrists and blood started to pour out. That guy also fell to the ground. She finaly was infornt of the drunken daimyo. She panted tiredly and she was partily covered in blood. "You...will die right here." Suddenly she felt a cold feeling behind her. "Oh no he won't." It was another stone ninja. He caught Kazuki's arms. The jonins and chunins came. "Ah...forest ninja." Kazuki saw this guy was another stupid guy that gets disracted easliy. She took the oppertunity of killing the guy. Instead, one of the forest ninja sliced at the guy's back. Kazuki ran out. She heard sudden screaming. "K-Kazuki! Help!" It was Kin. Kazuki rushed at the area. "Not so fast, ya' little brat." Once again, a stone ninja. This time the dude caught Kazuki in a way that she couldn't get out. "Got one brat!" He called out to another dude. Kazuki looked around franticly she saw one, furious Kimidori. "YOU LET GO OF MY DISCIPLE!!!" He tried to punch the dude. The stone ninja just merely moved to the side. "Hmm...you've gone blind with rage I believe..." He kicked Kimidori away. From a distance, Kin continued to scream for help. Kazuki thought of more ideas to get out of the stone shinobi's grasp but, she suddenly was knocked out. Kazuki heard no more screaming and shouting. She saw nothing. She tried fighting back but, it was useless. 'I...I can't...I can't die yet...' Then, her body went limp.

09-26-2009, 02:19 PM
It seems that about only 2 people enjoy my story...oh well.

09-29-2009, 06:41 PM
I don't get why people don't realy like my story and the people that read my story is actualy my siblings, god damn it!!!

10-03-2009, 10:50 PM

10-09-2009, 08:10 PM
I want to hear more, I want to hear more, I want to hear more!!!

10-09-2009, 09:14 PM
Chp. 20-Interogations
Wh-where am I? Am I dead? Alive? She heard a voice talking. Maybe to her. She later felt something or someone poking her. A voice whispered to her, "Wake up..." I-I think that I'm... Kazuki started to open her eyes. "Oh Kazuki! I thought that might have died!" Kazuki opened her eyes fully. Kin...wait, what is she doing? Kazuki noticed what Kin was doing. Kin...was hugging her. "G-get off me." Kazuki sharply whispered. Kazuki looked around, Am I in a jail cell? Kazuki looked back at Kin. Kin looked up. Her deep blue eyes narrowed a bit, "Now tell me, how'd you end up in here?" She asked. Kazuki stared at her. She turned her head away then replied, "Get off me." Kazuki quickly turned her head back at Kin, "Oh, and by the way, I'm a-"
"Onyx eyes, interogations. Come here." It was one of the stone shinobi. Kin immedietly went off Kazuki and ran back to a corner af the jail cell. Kazuki stood up and she shook a bit as she stood up. She steadied herself then walked to the jail cell bars with her head looking at the hard, grey, stone wall. When she got to the bars, she looked up half way. Her eyes did the rest of the head moving. "Well, hmmm, Ah yes, diamyo's orders." Kazuki felt a stinging pain in her left arm. She cringed. Kazuki looked at her left arm. It was a tranquilizer. The world, once again, started to get dark. No! I'm not going to pass-out again! No! Kazuki fell to her knees. Kazuki turned her head slowly cause the tranquilizer stuck onto her arm. She lifted her right arm to pull it out. Before she even took it out, another was shot into her neck now. Instantly, the world blacked out.
Kazuki opened her eyes instantly the moment she notice that she was in a different room other than the gloomy stone jail cell. Her eyes stung form the bright light in the room. "Start the interogation!" A stone ninja spoke. Intreogation? "Now tell me, onyx eyes, do ya' know how ta' get through yo' village's defences?" Kazuki looked up to see who was speaking to her. Another stone shinobi. Kazuki said nothing. "Hey! Boy, listen to me when I'm talkin' to ya!!!" Kazuki's eyes narrowed and turned to him. She replied, "Yeah, what?" The stone ninja smiled. "That's much better. Call me Rai." Kazuki replied. "I don't care what you call me and I'm not what you think I am." It was quiet for a while. "All right, yo. Let's get startin' with da' intero-whatchamacallit."

10-11-2009, 04:24 PM

Dark Sakura
10-11-2009, 04:55 PM
more!! this is a great story! :p

10-11-2009, 10:00 PM
Chp. 21-Loyal Tsuru
"First question, do ya' know how to break through da' village's defences?"
"Hey! I'm speakin' to ya'!" He back-handed Kazuki in the face. "Now...answer da' question. HOW DO YA' BREAK THROUGH DA' VILLAGE'S DEFENCES?!!!"
<Meanwhile outside the White Castle>
"Allright, how do get Kin and Kazuki out of the castle without getting them killed?" Kimidori questioned. Tsuru smiled. Kimidori said with an anxious undertone. "What's with the smile?"
"Well, we planted a spy in the enemy's midst."
"How did we get a Forest Country spy in there?"
"He's not really from the Forest Country..."
<In the interogation room>
"Well----?" Rai inpatiently. Kazuki didn't reply. She just stared back down at the floor. "HELLO?!! YA' STILL DON'T GET IT?" Kazuki repiled to Rai's loud question. "Yes, I do get your question and I don't spill information that I know. You'll have to kill me before you could even take it out of me."
"Uhh...hey, yo."
"What do you want?" Rai shook his head 'yes' once and then spoke. "I'll have ta' call in da' girl." He pressed some button that was on some metal thing which made a 'bleep' sound. "'Kay, da' girl is goin' ta' come soon." Moments later the door opened behind Kazuki. A stone ninja came first. "Got her." The stone ninja pushed someone in. It was Kin. "Ah, welcome." He got a chair that was against a wall and put it next to Kazuki.
<Outside the White Castle.>
"Huh?!! What do you mean, 'not really a forest ninja'?"
"I'll start with this, He is a stone ninja that dislikes his own country. Wait, no. Correction: He hates his country."
"O-kay, why?"
"The daimyo."
"I'll tell you sometime. This stone ninja really is joining forces with us."
Kimidori gaped. "S-slap me if that is real..."
"B-but, I can't possibly slap you!"
"Is this real or not?!!"
"P-p-please f-forigive me!!!" He held out his hand then closed his eyes tightly and back-handed Kimidori. Kimidori fell to the floor by the force of the slap. "Oh my god, it's real!" Tsuru clutched at his wrist and stared at his palm then said franticly, "Oh my god, I-I just slapped him! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!" He started slapping himself. "AHHHHHHH-uhhh...." Kimidori saw Tsuru. "Hey, what are you doing to yourself?!!" Tsuru fell to the floor, face first. Kimidori cringed. "Well, I guess it's time to make a plan..."

10-13-2009, 08:51 PM
"Oh my god, it's real!"
"Oh my god , I-I just slapped him!"


10-13-2009, 08:51 PM
Please post more soon, kazuki-65!

10-15-2009, 07:13 PM
I don't really have time right now, how 'bout later!?

10-27-2009, 03:53 PM
Sorry about the "not-writing-the-story" thing but, I'll only write the story when I have time.

11-03-2009, 05:20 PM
Chp.22 Jailbreak(pt. 1)
Plan...plan! I've gotta think of one... Kimidori was later interrupted by a sudden squaking in his head. "Hey, greeny. How 'bout you ask me?" Kimidori stopped thinking with an annoyed look on his face. Oh, would you shut up! I'm trying to think here! Stupid piece of bird crap... The voice angrliy repiled back, "Bird crap?!! That's all you've got to say to me when I'm offering you help?!!" Kimidori didn't reply back. "Hey Tsu-oh yeah..." He looked at Tsuru's "dead" body.
<In the interrogation room>
Kin sat on the chair that Rai offered her. "Now, you girl," Kin sat up straight when Rai pointed at her. "Y-yes?" Rai put his head down. "I forgot what I was goin' ta' say..." The only thought that went through Kin's head was, What the hell...
<Outside of the castle>
Kimidori bent down and grabbed Tsuru's collar of his jacket. "If you're so loyal to me, why don't you just wake up?!!" He shook Tsuru violently back and forth. Tsuru's hand was over his head like a soldier but his eyes were still closed. "Kimidori sempai, glad you're okay..." Kimidori's face was screwed up in confusion. The annoying voice rang through his head, "Annoying fellow isn't he...?" Kimidori answered back, Yes, very but not much...stupid over-grown bird...

There's not much in this chp. cause that's all i've got...

11-03-2009, 06:07 PM

11-12-2009, 05:05 PM

11-16-2009, 05:58 PM

11-21-2009, 02:50 PM
sorry, since i wasn't on the forum that much...

11-21-2009, 02:50 PM
but on the other hand, let's hear more of the story.

11-21-2009, 02:51 PM
i comment: the chapters you write are too short to even be called chapters...

11-21-2009, 02:52 PM
anyways, keep up the good work.

11-27-2009, 08:24 PM
"Ummm...let's see, I have it, it's in da' back of ma' head...now what was it..." As Rai was struggling to remember, Kazuki was thinking up with a plan to escape.
<Outside the castle walls>
"Alright how do we get pass through the castle walls?" Tsuru asked.
"How did you get back up?!"
"I don't know, I got back up a few minutes ago."
"Whatever. I think I have an idea to get through the castle walls..." Kimidori had a sly look on his face. Kuro Ame, who was also part of the reinforcements, said,"Kimidori, I don't like that look on your face..."
Kimidori ignored him and started up a lightning jutsu: Raiton, Rai no ano Taka-tsume! Lightning of the Hawk's talon! Kimidori charged straight at the castle walls and blew right through it. Any stone ninja that got in his line of fire was "oblitherated". He struck another wall of the castle, "What da'?!!" Rai was suprised to see a man flying right through the wall with a lightning jutsu in his right hand. Kazuki and Kin was also suprised. Shocked, actually. Rai just then realized that the stranger was wielding a lightning jutsu. He got into a defensive position. This will be easy; I, as a stone ninja, can absorb lightning jutsus. A stone ninja can absorb a certain chakra nature when they have enough skill and experience. Kimidori realized what stance Rai was in. So instead of hitting Rai straight on with the lightning justu, he kneed him square in the gut. As Rai fell backward, Kimidori jumped on his face then blew a hole right out of the interrogation room. Both Kazuki and Kin stared at the hole that Kimidori made. They heard screams of fallen stone ninja and explosions as the structure supports were being blown apart. Kin urged Kazuki to get out of the castle. As they left, pieces of the castle started falling off the ceiling.

11-28-2009, 02:32 PM
You've improved; you made your chapters longer.

11-28-2009, 02:33 PM
The story's getting intresting, write more plz.

11-28-2009, 02:33 PM
Where did u get the idea of making Kimidori break through the castle?

11-28-2009, 02:34 PM
Anyways, I would like to see more of the story. Keep it up!

Sasori Hatori
11-29-2009, 11:25 PM
Augh!!! Everyone is stealing my Tobi sig, and i swear to god that i am the one who first made it!!!!! (Because nobody else had the Tobi txt art) anyway, great job kazuki, can't wait for more.

12-06-2009, 08:26 PM
Yeah, but it said that to put it on your sig if you like tobi. And me and Kazuki did.

12-06-2009, 09:37 PM
wrote the chp
when i posted,
it got erased...

12-06-2009, 09:38 PM
...i'm dissapointed...

12-06-2009, 09:38 PM
head hurts too...:(

12-06-2009, 09:39 PM
*screams in rage*

12-18-2009, 10:36 PM
Chp.24-Bring that damn thing down!
"Augh, ma' head..." Rai placed his hand over his throbbing face. Rai saw a rock fall near him; he looked up at the ceiling to see the castle falling apart. "Wha'?!! Da' ceilin' is-Whoa!" He jumped away from a huge rock that was going to smash him. When Rai thought he was safe for a minute or two, he said outloud to himself, "Now, time to concentrate ma' chakra to ma' feet..." He concentrated for a few seconds. Then he opened his eyes and yelled out, "GYAAAAAAA!" Rai rushed and vaulted through the hole in the interrogation room that Kimidori made.
<Kin and Kazuki's current location>
Kin panted and sweated as she tried to keep up with Kazuki's fast running. Kin panted between words as she spoke, "Kazuki, slow down...!" Kazuki looked from the corner of "his" eye and retorted, "Then run faster!" Kazuki pulled at Kin's wrist and advanced at a faster running pace. Kin tripped over a rock that was jutting out form the uneven ground. Kazuki jerked forward as Kin fell. Kazuki looked toward Kin. "C'mon, get up! You want to die or something?!!" Kin looked up at Kazuki as she listened to Kazuki scorn her. Kin looked down and said sadly,"I-I think I just twisted my ankle or some-" Kin was interrupted in mid-speech by a loud deep cracking sound;she and Kazuki looked up to see a sharp huge boulder falling from above her. "KAZU-" Kazuki pulled Kin away just in time. As the boulder hit the pearl-white floor, Kazuki carried Kin onto her back and started running again, but at a slower pace. "Hold on if you don't want to die!"
<Kimidori's current location>
All I just need to do is just...bring this damn thing down! Kimidori thought to himself as he charged ahead with his Rai no ano Taka-tsume, his lightning jutsu, as he mowed down the stone ninjas in his way. Something caught his eye, a trapdoor leading down to the main supports and other supports. "Ha!" He blew up the trapdoor and charged inward. One, two, four, seventeen, twenty... Kimidori finally saw the eight main supports of the White Castle.
<Kin and Kazuki's current position>
Kazuki continued running with Kin clutching to "his" back. A strange yelling sound was heard and Kin looked back. "Kazuki, I think someone or something is comming after us..." Kazuki retorted back at Kin again without looking at her, "Whatever it is, I don't want to know." The yelling got louder. Kin glanced back again. Then, she fully looked to see someone familiar. Rai. It was Rai. "GYAAAAAAA!!!"
"Ka-!" Kazuki was caught by the collar of her shirt and pulled onto Rai's shoulder and Kin was placed onto the other. "What are you doing, Mr. Interrogation-man?!!" Kin asked. Rai grunted and said, "Saving yo' lives, NOW HOLD ON!" Rai clutched Kazuki and Kin's legs and started running again. "YAHOOO!!! This rides goin' ta' be bumpy!"
<Kimidori and his castle supports blowing spree>
Now, I just need to destroy those eight and es-Kimidori was interrupted by the voice in his head, "Greeny, you better make it out alive..." "Whatever..." Kimidori said outloud as he charged at the pillars. One, two, five...last one! Kimidori destroyed the one and only main support standing. "My work...is-" "Don't forget that the castle's falling down, you stupid canned spinnach!" Kimidori looked up to see the castle falling apart ontop of him. "Holy crap!"

12-18-2009, 10:37 PM
I'm finally done
Note from me:
I won't go on
most of the
time...(on the

12-21-2009, 04:41 PM

12-21-2009, 05:16 PM
"Holy crap! This chapter really funny!"

12-21-2009, 05:16 PM
Write some more, ok?

12-21-2009, 05:17 PM
i want to hear how the story goes in the next chapter.

12-22-2009, 09:58 PM
Chp. 25-"London bridges falling down"
"Whoa, Katsu! Look at that!" Toga said while pointing with his shaking finger. Katsu gaped then said, "Whoa, Toga! Look at that!" Toga looked at Katsu then looked back at the collapsing castle. Toga glared at Katsu. "Sorry..."
<Kimidori's current location, under a falling castle(welcome to the afterlife)>
Kimidori raised his right hand, which had his raiton attack, then muttered incoherintly. He closed his eyes, then opened them immedietly. "RAITON: ODAMA RAI NO ANO TAKA-TSUME!!!"
<Outside the castle walls and the collapsing castle>
Tsuru reached out for an imaginary item longingly at the castle then yelled, "Kimidori-senpaiiiiii!!!" Moments after, a huge explosion was heard. One that was far louder than the explosion before. "Don't tell me that he's using that jutsu..." Kuro muttered under his breath.
<Rai, Kazuki and Kin's current(not really current) location>
"YEEEHAAAW!!!!!" Rai yelled out as he ran with Kazuki and Kin on his shoulders. Kin screamed as he advanced in speed, "Why do you have to go so fast?!!!"
"Do ya' wanna' die young and not living a life?!!"
Kin didn't say anything because she was more consintrated on not falling off Rai's shoulders. "Hey,Rai. Smash that wall over there." Kazuki said to Rai as she pointed at the wall that Rai was approaching. "OKAY!" Rai smashed down the wall infront of them. Bright sunlight shone on them. "K-Kazuki!" Kin healed her ankle quickly then jumped off as soon as Kazuki jumped off. Kin ran to Kazuki and hugged her. "Oh, Kazuki..." Toga came out of the bushes and ran to Kazuki and Kin. Katsu followed after Toga. As soon as Toga saw Kin and Kazuki, he said, "Aww...It's love, Katsu." Katsu replied, "Aww...It's love, Toga." Toga bashed him in the head with his fist. "Stop repeating what I say..." Toga said while his mouth was clenched. "Get off me..." Kazuki said to Kin. "O-okay..." She got off Kazuki slowly. When Kin got off Kazuki, the whole castle blew up and huge chunks of rocks flew into the air. Lightning engulfed the air around a hole. A hawk of lightning rose into the air then dissappeared.
"Senpaiiii!!!" Tsuru shouted out as he ran to the the hole while stumbling. A dark figure jumped out of the hole and said in a whisper to Tsuru's ear, 'This mission's over, right?...' Before Tsuru could even answer, Kimidori collapsed. "Guys, get a medic here!" Tsuru yelled out. Rai looked at Kuro, and approached him. He bowed down to Kuro while saying, "I am Rai Ishimaru, I have betrayed da' Ishi an' now on da' Mori's side." Rai looked up and stood straight again. "I am not here ta' kill anybody. May I be trust'ed?" Rai held out his hand for Kuro to agree. Kuro looked at the hand and shook it while saying, "Agreed, you will be trusted with us, Mori. But if any of us catch you siding with the ishi again, we will assassinate you."
"We're going back to Mori, guys! Pack up!"

12-22-2009, 10:00 PM
a pretty boring chapter, i know that...;)

12-22-2009, 10:00 PM

12-23-2009, 12:20 PM
There are some parts of the chapter u should correct and add onto.
Overall, it's funny.

12-23-2009, 12:21 PM
Please write more on your story.

12-23-2009, 10:47 PM
Chp. 26-Chunin Exam begins.
"Since sensei's not going to come, I'm going to go back home!" Toga complained as he started to walk off. "Me too, I'm going to follow Toga." Katsu said as he followed Toga. "You know what? I woke up early and rushed all the way here and I didn't have time to eat my breakfast or change my underwear!"
"You didn't? I didn't brush my teeth..."
First thing in the morning and they're driving me nuts, what a bunch of morons... Kazuki thought to herself as she listened to the two babbling bafoons. "Hey guys!" Kimidori said as he appeared out of nowhere. "You're late!!!" Toga yelled as he pointed at him angrily. "Oh yeah, I almost forgot." Kimidori rummaged through his waist pouch. "I've got something to inlighten you, Toga." Kimidori leaped down and pulled out three small papers. "Oh yeah, like a few small papers are going to make me happy..." Toga spoke in sarcasm. "Chunin Exams, Toga. Chunin Exams." Toga's eyes widened. "*dramatic gasp* Gimmie mine! Gimmie mine!" Toga jumped up and down to get the papers out of his sensei's hand. "Okay, here you go." Kimidori gave one of the papers to Toga. Then, he gave one to Kazuki and Katsu. "Yes! I gonna pass with flying colors on my first try!!!" Toga yelled out as he danced. Toga tripped on his own feet. "Yeah right, pass on your first try. You just tripped on your own feet. How lame."
"O-oh yeah?!! I bet you won't be any good use in the Chunin exams!"
"I doubt that you won't be any help either, bonehead."
"What did you just call me?"
As Kazuki and Toga fought, Kimidori wrote on a piece of paper and took out a kunai. He put the paper on the ground then got the kunai and pinned the paper on the ground. Then, Kimidori dissapered into air.
"Whatever..." Kazuki looked away at Kimidori's direction just to see a piece of paper. Kazuki walked over then bent down to pick up the paper from the ground.
It read:

Kazuki, Toga, and Katsu. I have left this note due to a meeting from the Morikage. To enroll in the Chunin Exams, you must get to some certain building(map drawn below). You will go on the 4th floor of the building before 4:30 pm. I'll meet you at the doors of the room on the fourth floor.

Your sensei,
Akebono Kimidori

"Toga, Katsu, let's go."
"Huh? Go where?" Katsu asked as he dashed toward Kazuki. "To the bakery?"
"First off, no Katsu, we'll go to the bakery later. Second of all, We're going to the fourth floor of the building labeled on the map. Third of all..." Kazuki looked back toward Toga. "are you going to come?"
"Hell yeah, count me in!" Toga dashed toward Kazuki excitedly.
<About 2 minutes later>
"We're almost there, guys." Kazuki said as she spotted Katsu stop infront of a bakery window. Katsu drooled as he eyed the cupcake hungrily. "Cupcakes..."
"Yeah let's go Katsu." Toga said as he dragged off Katsu by the collar of his shirt. "NOOO! Cupcakes! Come back to meeee! Noooo!!!"
"Let's write 'will do anything for cupcakes' and drop him on the side of the road. How 'bout it Toga?" Kazuki suggested as Toga dragged Katsu across the dirt street. "Nah, we won't have time for that. And I think he'll come in use later in the Chunin Exams." Kazuki looked back in front of them again then stopped immedietly. "Hunh? What's wrong Kazu-..." Toga saw what Kazuki saw. "Hi, you guys must be first year genins! I'm from the mountian range country. I'm Saisan, Saisan Ikiru. How do you do?" Saisan looked exactly like Kazuki exept that she had yellow hair, a white long sleeved shirt, blue eyes, red short pants, and a katana with a white sheath. "Whoa Kazuki! There's a clone of you!" A rock flew at Kazuki. Kazuki caught the flying pebble without looking. Then another rock came flying at Toga. It hit him in the head. "Hey, what the heck was that for?"
"Huh, I thought that the genins here were better than that..."

12-24-2009, 09:29 PM

12-27-2009, 12:17 PM
Yes, write more.

12-27-2009, 12:19 PM
By the way, why do u only write when someone posts in your story? I don't get it...

12-27-2009, 12:20 PM
I also wonder why no one but me writes, posts and listens to your story. Ah, well.

12-27-2009, 12:21 PM
Lets make this story more intresting, okay?

12-27-2009, 12:55 PM

12-27-2009, 12:56 PM
By the way, why do u only write when someone posts in your story? I don't get it...
Because it tells me when someone has read the chapter and so i will then write more.
get it?

12-27-2009, 08:59 PM
Chp. 27-New rivals
"Huh?!! What do you mean? Who are you? Where are you? Show yourself!" Toga yelled at the stranger. "I ment that I thought you guys from the forest village is much stronger and I am a mountian range genin, Saisan's teamate." The stranger jumped down from the shadows of a tree branch. "And I am right over here, I'm showing myself like you wanted me to."
"Hey punk, why'd ya' throw that rock at me? Huh?!!"
"Testing...testing your skill." Kazuki started to walk off into the building. "Katsu, Toga...let's go and not waste our time."
"Hey, you!"
"Meeeeeeeeeeee?!!" Katsu asked. "No, not you. The one with the shadowy attitude." Kazuki turned around. "What do you want...?" Kazuki answered plainly. "Uhhh...I expected you to say your name...."
"If that's what you wanted, you should have asked."
"Then what's your name?"
"Well, it's best if you said your name first..." Kazuki then walked off with Katsu and Toga following. When they got into the building, Toga whispered in Kazuki's ear, "Nice move. I mean it."
"What ever." They continued to walk to the stairs.
<Fourth floor of the building>
"Ahh, You guys finally came." Kimidori said. "Can I have my cupcake now?" Katsu asked. "Here." Kimidori tossed a cupcake at Katsu. Katsu caught the cupcake and started to eat it. "Kay, you guys ready to get in?"
"I was born ready, open it and let me in!" Kimidori opened the door and let them in. Kazuki, Katsu, and Toga walked inside.

That's it...sorry for the short chapter.

01-10-2010, 06:06 PM
As u said, the chapter is too short. Yet, it still good.

01-10-2010, 06:07 PM
Write more, and i mean write more on the chapter.

01-17-2010, 04:20 PM
I feel too bored to write...later.:p

01-17-2010, 04:22 PM
Damn, u have a lack of spirit.

01-17-2010, 04:23 PM
So sad, I wish that u'll write later.

01-21-2010, 05:51 PM

02-13-2010, 12:07 PM
Chp. 28
"Wha-what is this?!!" Toga stared at the endless amount of Chunin exam participents. Kazuki thought to herself, I never thought that there would be...so many! Katsu's smile was slowly sliding off his face. Toga whispered to Kazuki, "Katsu's not used to large, scary crowds..."
"Oi, Oi! Looks like it's carrot-top and his crazy friend!"
"He-hey! Stop calling me that, you-you...!"
Kazuki turned around, "Rima..." Rima turned to Kazuki, "Kazuki...you..." She pointed at Kazuki. "...STILL LOOK LIKE A GUY!!! I expected you to look more like a girl now!"
Kazuki's face carried an empty look. She spoke in monotone, "What are you talking about, I am a guy."
"Erk! Stop lying! I know you're not!!" Rima kicked Kazuki where a guy's nuts are supposed to be. Kazuki showed a false expression of pain on her face, which seemed like real pain. Almost everyone turned around or stared at what just happened. Kazuki fell to the floor. A few seconds later, she stood back up like nothing happened then crossed her arms. "Well then, where's your brother and Kairen?"
"You stupid-stop messing with me!"
"But I'm not."
Rima was about to jump at Kazuki but someone grabbed onto her jacket from behind. "Stop messing around..." Rima looked from the corner of her eye, "Kairen!" She said sharply. "Let go of me!"
Kairen opened his eyes and looked up at her, "No."
"I said, let me go!"
A voice spoke from behind Kairen, "Imoto, stop it." Rima stopped flailing around, "Aniki..." A guy stepped from behind Kairen, "Hello Kazuki, same expression as always."
Toga turned around to see the guy. "Ka-Kaname?"
"Oh, hey Toga!" Then another voice came, "Carrot-top, Carrot-top..."
"Why does people keep calling me that?"
Katsu looked toward where the voice came from, "SHORTY!!!"

02-13-2010, 12:09 PM
She was about to but she always gets interrupted...:D

02-13-2010, 06:19 PM
OOOO---, write more!!

03-13-2010, 07:19 PM
*floats around the place thinking when I get a great idea(which will be unlikely)*

04-05-2010, 12:58 PM
Chp 29
"Hey, stop calling me that!"
Katsu smiled. "Nothing will ever stop me from calling you that...Seirin" He patted Seirin's head. There was a difference in height between Katsu and Seirin by 11 inches. Rima looked at them and smirked and she started to chuckle for a bit. "He he...he's really short...

okay, ill write later cause my computer is about to shut down in a matter of minutes.