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Life AKA Death
07-13-2009, 08:35 PM
A babys mother died in a terrible war while the baby was still in the wound as the years past the young boy was eating his mother in the wound as his only method of survival he kept on eating and eating her rigid blood intestents and wen he reached the age of eight he finally was able to get out of his mothers wound by ripping and tearing through her flesh the blood from her veins fell down through his skin down to the puddles of blood as he realized he was trapped and in his despair he unleashed his powers of the ninja and exploded the coffin door to the surface as the villages kage was there looking through the tooms and then he saw the boy covered in dark blood and said, " wht the hell." they boy never awnsered since he never knew to talk the kage walked slowly on the blooded ground tht made splashes as he walked to see inside the boys mothers toom and had known wht happened then the boy put up a defensive stance thinking the kage was going to kill him then he felt faint weak as he tried to launch an attack in half way through his punch he fell and fainted then the kage summoned a bird with a message tht said to bring a medical ninja after 2 minutes past one came in a hurry as he began treating the boy covered in blood over his weak fragile white skin the medical ninja realized he had died then they grabbed the by and put him lightly on the toom of his ripped apart mother

the end

Life AKA Death
07-13-2009, 08:46 PM
well i like the short story i made but i wana no ur opinions

Life AKA Death
07-13-2009, 08:57 PM
cmmon tell me if u hated it or liked it

itachiuchiha85
07-13-2009, 08:58 PM
wow dude.... wow. serious serious... too much carnage there o.O

takuya
07-13-2009, 08:58 PM
its pretty good just some grammar stuff also man that was graphic and gross i got a good mental pic

Life AKA Death
07-13-2009, 09:01 PM
its pretty good just some grammar stuff also man that was graphic and gross i got a good mental pic
is tht a good thing or a bad thing

temvvy
07-13-2009, 09:08 PM
o thats gross

Life AKA Death
07-13-2009, 09:09 PM
o thats gross
well then everyone sais my story is gross

Luna Mikazuki
07-13-2009, 09:14 PM
That was sad....I liked it

Life AKA Death
07-13-2009, 09:15 PM
That was sad....I liked it
thx finally someonewho dosent think is gross

cherryflower
07-13-2009, 09:19 PM
gross and sad, it was gruesome and will give me nightmares. but you are good at writing I just don't like gross stuff. sorry

brooksey
07-13-2009, 09:20 PM
lol i love the part when he rips out of his mommy

Life AKA Death
07-13-2009, 10:04 PM
thx for ppl who liked it and sorry its gross

brooksey
07-13-2009, 10:25 PM
thx for ppl who liked it and sorry its gross


lol nah it wasn't gross ;]

Maikeru D. Shinigami
07-13-2009, 10:29 PM
I like all the talk about the blood, and ripping through the flesh and all that, that was pretty cool. The spelling is bad though.

Yay for flesh ripping ^_^

Life AKA Death
07-13-2009, 10:53 PM
thx i hope u guys really like it

Life AKA Death
07-13-2009, 11:05 PM
anyone else think its cool

waterlemon-chi
07-14-2009, 02:18 AM
Grotesque and enticing. Like it. Mhmmmm...

nexthokage
07-14-2009, 09:45 AM
I liked it

Life AKA Death
07-14-2009, 11:45 AM
thx i just dnt get y ppl say it was gross

KIBAFAN321
07-14-2009, 11:54 AM
Its ok. Its just little bit too much info...

cherryflower
07-14-2009, 11:54 AM
I think it was gross because him eating her and ripping and for eight years in a dead person and the veins part. I just don't like gross things.

Life AKA Death
07-14-2009, 11:54 AM
Its ok. Its just little bit too much info...
thx for your opinion

Lou!e
07-14-2009, 11:55 AM
The blood, the flesh....being ripped apart.

Life AKA Death
07-14-2009, 11:55 AM
I think it was gross because him eating her and ripping and for eight years in a dead person and the veins part. I just don't like gross things.
thx for your opinion seriously i find this story like whtever

Life AKA Death
07-14-2009, 05:24 PM
yah anyone else like it or ahte i wana no ur opinion

Life AKA Death
07-14-2009, 05:50 PM
i wana no ur opinion cmmon anyone

Ryaque
07-14-2009, 07:33 PM
It was alittle too dark for my taste.

Life AKA Death
07-15-2009, 03:57 PM
it was alittle too dark for my taste.

well its the perfect amount for mine

Life AKA Death
07-15-2009, 04:21 PM
anyone else like it or hate my story

LaGueraUchiha
07-20-2009, 04:18 PM
It was good, I usually dont read this stuff.....but it was gross kool..ehehe~☆...=P

Life AKA Death
07-28-2009, 07:12 PM
anyone like it

NaruSakufluff4ever
07-28-2009, 07:50 PM
i would say i like it half and half, cause im in to blood and gore, but that was sad and a little too much, so i said it sucked for lack of a better answer

Life AKA Death
07-28-2009, 08:28 PM
anyone like it or hate it

Brain Picker
08-01-2009, 06:42 PM
Awesome idea, but the writing was a little choppy.

avamaru
08-01-2009, 09:59 PM
i liked the story beacuase then people will have a diiferent name for him lol

Kibafan006
11-09-2009, 05:50 PM
...:shock:OK...