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Vatanui AKA Pride
07-12-2009, 08:53 PM
This is a Story Created by me, about a Ninja named Vatas Shadow Pridus, his comrades, Team Okami, as well as their enemies.

I'll try to release a Chapter everyday except on Sundays, but that won't always be the case since I'll be busy with life as well as other things.

1)- This fic is NOT Based on Naruto solely. It is actually based on a combination of Naruto, Bleach, One Piece, and last but not least, Katekyo Hitman Reborn.

2)- I know that the characters are overpowered, but the series is set up that way.

3)- If you noticed, my chapters get higher quality as the fic passes. For example, compare the quality of a chapter in the Invasion of the Bird Clan Arc to a chapter in the Nui Gaiden Arc. I know that, and I'm currently rewriting chapters. Please be patient.

About the Author: Vatanui (Alias: Pride) is a mysterious figure, his past unknown, even to himself, due to an unfrotunately (unlucky) case of amnesia. He is currently a Shinobi of the Village Hidden in the Aura, a Chunin to be precise. He is also a participant in the First Forums Tourney.


Saga First: The Intro

Arc: The "Invasion" of the Bird Clan
One: The Beginning (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=553744&postcount=2)
Two: The Entry
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=568344&postcount=17) Three:Nui Onimusha VS Kama Ikkaku (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=581106&postcount=23)
Four: The Leader of the Light Clan
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=592585&postcount=51) Five: The Cager (http://naruto.vfatality.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=604621&postcount=70)
Six: The Jashinist
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=616243&postcount=73) Seven: Bloody Arm
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=637259&postcount=104) Eight: Dawn
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=644173&postcount=112) Nine:The Timid Medic (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=653739&postcount=127)
Ten: Hanataro (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=661789&postcount=150)
Eleven: The Kage of the Bird
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=686099&postcount=167) Twelve: The AiraKage (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=712161&postcount=183)
Thirteen: The Bijuu of the Light
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=731133&postcount=192) Fourteen:Kage VS Kage (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=741047&postcount=204)
Fifteen: The Phoenix
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=745668&postcount=219) Sixteen: Phoenix Dawn, Phoenix Die
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=754539&postcount=233) Seventeen: Mission Succeeded, Sort Of
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=773022&postcount=309) Eighteen: The Woman
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=784024&postcount=404) Nineteen:A New Threat on the Horizon (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=790460&postcount=462)
Twenty: Time To Go
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=811904&postcount=668)
Arc: The Meeting of the Kages, Part One
Twenty-One: One Week Before the Meeting
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=819502&postcount=783) Twenty-Two: The Two in the Mountains (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=842701&postcount=853)
Twenty-Three: The Illuminus on the Move (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=852743&postcount=860)
Twenty-Four: The Explanation
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=867058&postcount=882) Twenty-Five: Four Days Until the Meeting of the Kages
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=878521&postcount=913)
Nui Gaiden
Twenty-Six: The New Kid
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=900747&postcount=932) Twenty-Seven: Family Assassin Attempt
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=924386&postcount=938) Twenty-Eight: Before The Interrogation
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=933780&postcount=968) Twenty-Nine: The Interrogation
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=943106&postcount=975) Thirty: Toward the Country of Snow
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=954864&postcount=979) Thirty-One: The Country of Snow
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=961682&postcount=982) Thirty-Two: The Calm Before the Storm of Ice
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=991176&postcount=1042) Thirty-Three:Just Before the Storm (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1008275&postcount=1088)
Thirty-Four: The Beginning of the Frosty Storm
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1016193&postcount=1099) Thirty-Five: The Battle in the Icy Wasteland
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1025453&postcount=1148) Thirty-Six: Matsumora Anokichi VS Sakura Helga
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1031407&postcount=1217) Thirty-Seven: The Battles
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1076186&postcount=1223) Thirty-Eight: Another Madman with a Weapon of Mass Destruction & The Message
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1117928&postcount=1243) Thirty-Nine: Weapon of Mass Destruction #45: Flaming Chains of Hell
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1135280&postcount=1252) Forty: Black Flames of Death & Arrival
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1149025&postcount=1273) Forty-One: Taking a Weapon of Mass Destruction
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1155805&postcount=1277) Forty-Two: Meeting in Hell
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1165113&postcount=1313) Forty-Three: The Interview in Hell
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1186997&postcount=1323) Forty-Four: Tenso Ukitaro
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1195325&postcount=1350) Forty-Five: Passing the Icy Storm (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1203144&postcount=1355)
Forty-Six: Meeting with Her Master
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1207951&postcount=1368) Forty-Seven: Part One: Captured: Part One
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1217109&postcount=1370) Forty-Seven: Part Two: Rescued: Part Two
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1247266&postcount=1376) Forty-Eight: Last Chapter... of Nui Gaiden
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1266505&postcount=1389)
Arc: Meeting of the Kages, Part Two
Forty-Nine: Re-Entry! Meeting of the Kages, Restart! (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1425667&postcount=1461)
Fifty: The Bloody Gemini (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1430461&postcount=1469)
Fifty-One: The Discussion (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1439239&postcount=1481)
Fifty-Two: Vatas Shadow Pridus VS Tenso Ukitaro (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1440993&postcount=1484)
Fifty-Three:A Hint at Menrui's Powers (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1470214&postcount=1539)
Fifty-Four: The Eighth Shinobi
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1479365&postcount=1554) Fifty-Five: Farewell, Senso Ukitaro
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1488986&postcount=1570) Fifty-Six: The Tsuyoryuusei Masurao (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1532660&postcount=1594)
Fifty-Seven: Talk With the Elder (http://naruto.vfatality.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1532660&postcount=1595)
Fifty-Eight: A Little Detour (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1569548&postcount=1601)
Fifty-Nine: Sparring With Sage (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1590949&postcount=1625)
Sixty: Midnight (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1608765&postcount=1626)
Sixty-One: The Briefing (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1625168&postcount=1654)
Sixty-Two: Preparing (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1707396&postcount=1680)
Sixty-Three: Adventures in Triangular Island Auctioning House (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1841044&postcount=1715)
Sixty-Four: Fifteen Hours 'Till Countdown (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1914273&postcount=1751)
Sixty-Five: The Gathering Forces
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1963326&postcount=1764) Sixty-Six: Aqua Hallibel
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2009042&postcount=1791) Sixty-Seven: Acquiring New Skills
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2066784&postcount=1804) Sixty-Eight: The Dusk Enters, Part One
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2077292&postcount=1809) Sixty-Nine: The Dusk Enters, Part Two
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2086506&postcount=1819) Seventy: Untitled
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2164502&postcount=1873) Seventy-One: The Banpaia Tsume
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2167589&postcount=1888) Seventy-Two: The Battle in the Skies
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2184999&postcount=1902) Seventy-Three: MEAT!!! Particularly of Sea King Variety
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2192899&postcount=1910) Seventy-Four: How Many Firearms Can You Store in Your Coat?!
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2200388&postcount=1918) Seventy-Five: Starts with a "M"
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2214978&postcount=1923) Seventy-Six: The Power of Patty
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2228350&postcount=1947) Seventy-Seven: Double Tag Team! The Vampire Mistress versus Vatas and Rose, and Patty versus the Marines! (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2233106&postcount=1956)
Seventy-Eight:Close to The Finale (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2238815&postcount=1964)
Seventy-Nine: Disserrare: Genkaku Vero Potenza (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2244691&postcount=1993)
Eighty: The Swordsman's True Strength (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2255247&postcount=2012)
Eighty-One: Speak of the Devil (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2277730&postcount=2024)
Eighty-Two: Speak of the Devil 2 (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2288781&postcount=2043)
Eighty-Three: Speak of the Devil 3 (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2294393&postcount=2055)

Mini Arc-Turn Back the Pendulum
Chapter Eighty-Four: Abandoned Orphan (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2329159&postcount=2081)
Chapter Eighty-Five: Punishment (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2343340&postcount=2098)
Chapter Eighty-Six: Life in the Orphanage (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2366437&postcount=2184)
Chapter Eighty-Seven: Discovery of a Secret (http://naruto.vfatality.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2372710&postcount=2198)
Chapter Eighty-Eight: When Things Start to Go Bad (http://naruto.vfatality.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2394721&postcount=2208)
Chapter Eighty-Nine: Ms.Kat's Punishment (http://naruto.vfatality.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2411637&postcount=2224)
Chapter Ninety: A Turn of Events (http://naruto.vfatality.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2416184&postcount=2259)
Chapter Ninety-One: The Beginning of the Escape Attempt (http://naruto.vfatality.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2417971&postcount=2271)
Chapter Ninety-Two: Enemies Advancing (http://naruto.vfatality.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2434560&postcount=2286)
Chapter Ninety-Three: Way of the Assassin (http://naruto.vfatality.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2486096&postcount=2298)
Chapter Ninety-Four: Onto the Seventh Floor (http://naruto.vfatality.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2502742&postcount=2310)
Chapter Ninety-Five: Times Ain't Gonna Get Easier
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2513935&postcount=2327) Chapter Ninety-Six: Ninety-Seven Fights One
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2531783&postcount=2336) Chapter Ninety-Seven: Orphanage in Flames
(http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2912668&postcount=2431) Chapter Ninety-Eight: Jackass (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showthread.php?p=3257007#post3257007)
Chapter Ninety-Nine: Trolled (http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showthread.php?p=3257027#post3257027)
Chapter One-Hundred:
Chapter One Hundred & One:
Chapter One Hundred & Two:

Arc: The Rescue




-Character Profiles: Part One. (http://naruto.vfatality.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1156297&postcount=1278)

-Character Profiles: Part Two. (http://naruto.vfatality.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1157945&postcount=1279)

-Characters' Races (http://naruto.vfatality.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2357973&postcount=2150)

-Weapons' Profiles (http://naruto.vfatality.viz.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2494195&postcount=2307)
(http://naruto.vfatality.viz.com/forums/showpost.php?p=2494195&postcount=2307)

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-12-2009, 09:42 PM
Chapter One: The Beginning

Four figures sat on a cliff, overlooking a village. The sky was orange, the sun was leaving, the winds were starting up, showing the signs of a descend into nightfall. The villagers were leaving, going to their homes and families. Soon, it was night and all the villagers were fast asleep and the night lights brightened. One of the four figures grinned, flashing him teeth in the darkness.
"Finally, it's midnight." He said, and stood up. The moonlight hit his face, revealing a mask with the face of a dragon. "I hate being in these damn bloody jobs, they're just require so much....work." muttered another figure and too stood up, too wearing a mask, plain black. The other two figures too stood up, too wearing masks. All of them were armored.
Swords hung on their backs, gleaming in the moonlight and stained with blood. "Shut up, Menrui. Geez, you're always complaining about work. It's annoying" muttered another figure, to the person who talked the second. The man known as Menrui ruffled his hair with his hair. "It's not my fault, Toshi."
The person known as Toshi glared at Menrui. "Idiots....." muttered the last person, his long white hair blowing in the wind. Immediatly, Toshi spun around, her face bright red with anger. "What did you say, Nui?!" she yelled. The white haired man known as Nui said nothing. "Be quiet, Toshi, or the guards might hear us." the figure who talked first muttered. "There's no guards, stupid head! Are you blind, Vatas?!" Toshi said. Vatas glanced at her. "You mean you don't see them?"
Toshi took a long hard look at the village. "No."
"You see the crows and ravens on the ground? How about the birds on the look-out tower?"
"What about them?"
"Toshi, this is the Bird Clan. The ninjas here have a Kekkai Genkei that allows them to turn into any type of bird. They are a type of clan that specializes in espionage." Nui explained.
"So the Old Man sent us in to take them out, eh? Not so nice of him, huh." Menrui muttered. "So basically, we get to kick feathery butts and get paid too?" Toshi asked. Menrui shrugged. "Probably,"
Toshi slowly pulled out her sword, grinning wickedly. "Good enough for me." Menrui groaned. "There you go off again, Toshi." Fortunately, Toshi did not hear this. She had already jumped off the cliff, and into the village. Mumbling, Nui jumped after her, followed by Vatas. Menrui leaped down last, complaining as usual. "Damn hyperactive girl....!"

Note: As the Writer of this Story, I will have to tell you the Dangers of it. The next chapters will be highly bloody, with broken wings and feathers flying about. In a nutshell, the world will finally figure why some bird species today are endangered or worse, extinct.

The group landed down on the floor. Once they land, a burst of dust exploded on the ground where they stood. The dust died soon enough and the group slowly stood up.
"So this is the Bird Clan, huh..." Menrui muttered, gazing at the empty street, cluttered with feathers and bird droppings on the ground. Now in the streets, with better light, the team could be seen better. Nui was tall, thin and had white long hair, along with fair skin. His serious but calm face reflected in the street light. He wore a black kimino, topped with a black kimino. Toshi was short, with short blond hair pulled in a ponytail and her face with the trademark scowl, with a mix of tan and white skin. She wore a red jacket, and jeans, completed with a hood. Menrui wore a long-sleeved black shirt, topped with a green jacket. He had white skin, along with Vatas. Vatas was dressed in a black cloak, complete with a hood. Red flames hung in the bottom of his cloak and his dragon mask gazed from corner to corner, emotionless.
Toshi smiled. "Now then, time to fight!" She reached for her back and unsheates her sword, a mixture of a katana and dagger. Not surprisingly, the sword had no handle at all. Nui then took out a mask and begin to study it while Menrui continued mumbling about something. All the while, small shadows lingered and prowled through the streets. Vatas was the first to notice this. Before he could warn his team, a blast of wind struck Menrui. He was sent flying. He hit the ground. Nui and Vatas, automatically pulled out there swords. Toshi, surprised, sets herself in a stance, ready for the next attack.
"Well well, look at what we have here." the attacker said, his mouth seemingly pulling back in a fang-like evil grin.



To Be Continued..

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-13-2009, 12:16 PM
Great, no one reads this.....:cry:

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-13-2009, 01:31 PM
Please Read!

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-13-2009, 03:13 PM
I should delete this..

takuya
07-13-2009, 05:16 PM
I should delete this..dont delete it i like it keep going with it

Chidori Shuriken
07-13-2009, 05:58 PM
Give it some time, Pride, you just posted it today.

And I like it. Don't delete it.

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-13-2009, 06:54 PM
Thanks guys.....my story has a slow start, but it builds up dramatic effect......ew, my brother just barfed candy on me...

garraswerewolf
07-13-2009, 07:18 PM
wow this was great

keep going dude :mrgreen:

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-13-2009, 07:19 PM
Thanks.

I really appreciate it.

takuya
07-13-2009, 07:23 PM
Thanks guys.....my story has a slow start, but it builds up dramatic effect......ew, my brother just barfed candy on me...ughhh most not have tasted good:lol:

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-13-2009, 07:24 PM
It was cherry Mike Ike..

Hiro
07-13-2009, 07:24 PM
im gonna copy this and read it later, because now im interested in the last few chapters of yugi-oh ^_^ i hope there isnt a copyright on pride's story xD

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-13-2009, 07:43 PM
You read Yugi-Oh, Hiro?

Hiro
07-13-2009, 07:48 PM
You read Yugi-Oh, Hiro?
yep ^_^ im on chapter 50 right now, on one manga it ends at chapter 51, is that right and the original yugi-oh ends there, or does one manga just not have all of it, just curious;)

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-13-2009, 07:53 PM
Okay, Hiro..

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-14-2009, 09:18 AM
Chapter Two: The Entry
In the gloomy street light, the guard's face was revealed: his face was cruel, showing only wicked exchileration for the possible upcoming battle. He wore a headband, tied to his neck and wore a simple plain white robe. Armor covered him, from toe-to-top. He carried a long menacing scythe with him, gleaming in the moonlight like a shinigami's (japanese death god) blade. A patch on his left arm, that etched "Special Jonin" sent shivers down most shinobi facing before him in battle, most shinobi, except for..the three people standing before him, all preparing for a fight to the death.
"It was my turn to guard this clan on this boring patrol, of just simply walking around and looking, and look at what here I found, four intruders, sneaking into my little clan to do something." the guard said, grinning as usual. He then fully pulled out his scythe, showing the intruders his weapon. It was a regular scythe, the only peculiar thing was that......it had 3 blades instead of one.
"Now then...." the guard muttered and set in a stance, in perfect alignment, waiting for his opponents to attack.


Note: Just as I have told you in the Previous Chapter, blood will be spilled in the upcoming chapters, a LOT of blood, so Beware!

"It's my duty to kill you." the guard said. Suddenly, Toshi burst into laughter. "You said duty!"" she laughed as the guard glared angrily at her. "This is a BATTLE! There is no laughter in bloody fights!" he yelled. Eventually, Toshi stopped laughing and began her stance again.
"By the way, are you even a girl?" the guard asked, grinning. Immediatly, Toshi's faced turned red as a tomato."I'm a girl alright!!! And now a girl will kick your butt!" she yelled and charged, straight for the waiting guard. Just as she was about to attack, a hand flashed before her. Toshi glanced back at her comrades, to see Nui missing. Nui was now standing before her, his hand signalling her to stop. "Toshi, Vatas, go ahead. I will deal with this barbarian. Get Menrui too." Nui ordered, his other hand grasping the hilt of his sword. Toshi opened her mouth to shout but then stopped, realizing the right thing to do. She silently nodded and runs back to get Menrui. She checked him for wounds, but then saw no wounds at all, not even a small scratch. Finally, Toshi came to dawn: Menrui was asleep, drooling on the ground. She scowled and then raised her hand and slapped him, HARD.
Menrui still did not wake up. "Great..." she muttered. With that, she poofs, releasing a cloud of white dust, also covering Vatas. When it finally cleared, he and they were gone. Nui turned his head back to look at his opponent. "You know, you could have attacked me when I was off-guard..." he muttered. The guard replied with a grin. "I DO love to battle, but I will not attack an unarmed enemy. I am NOT a coward." Gazing grimly, Nui slowly unsheate his sword from it's scabbard. "That so, huh..."
"My name is Kama Ikkaku, nice to meet you." the guard announced.
"Why do you tell your opponent your name?"
Kama grinned wickedly. "My people have a very religious nature. We always tell our name to our opponent in battle, because when they die, we want them to know the name of the killer!"
Nui grasped his sword tightly and set in a stance, ready. "Well, my name is Nui Onimusha then."

Kama burst into laughter and screeched, "Nice to meet you! This is looking fantastic!"
With that, the two opponents locked eyes with each other and charged forward to the battle of their lives.

TO
BE
CONTINUED

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-14-2009, 05:15 PM
Tell me what you think, people!

NaruSakufluff4ever
07-14-2009, 06:42 PM
ooh nice vat!can u write more?me is interested!

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-14-2009, 07:58 PM
Thanks, NaruSaku!!!!

Yajyuu Mikazuki
07-14-2009, 08:01 PM
When I first saw it I thought it said Vats Shadow Prius! I laughed for like hours.

The story was AWESOME though man. I really liked that you made the chapters long and organized cuz not too many people do that here (I do though uh huh) :D

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-14-2009, 08:10 PM
When I first saw it I thought it said Vats Shadow Prius! I laughed for like hours.

The story was AWESOME though man. I really liked that you made the chapters long and organized cuz not too many people do that here (I do though uh huh) :D

LOL, you just critized (spelling wrong) yourself, but thanks.

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-15-2009, 11:21 AM
Chapter Three: Nui Oninusha VS Kama Ikkaku


Standing across from ten feet, both Nui and Kama charged, blades out. Kama attacked first, thrusting his red scythe down for Nui's head. Nui easily sidestepped, dodging the attack. He then uppercut with his sword at Kama, who barely managed to pull his scythe up again and block it. They stood right there, for only a moment, locked. "You're pretty good, you know." Kama said, smiling. Nui said nothing and leaped back just as Kama's scythe struck the ground where he just stood a second ago. "You're fast, too." Kama muttered as he ran at Nui and swung his blade again. Nui rolled to the right and out of the way as Kama's scythe swung down the ground. He then leaped and grasping his sword in both hands, slashed downwards at Kama.
And blood spilled.

__________________________________________________ ________________________


Running on the roofs of the houses, Toshi and Vatas glanced at the empty streets. Vatas carried Menrui on his back, piggy-back style. "Remind me why I have to carry him." Vatas muttered. "Because I said so." Toshi replied, ahead of Vatas. "I don't take orders from you." Vatas said, his eyes on the guards posted on some of the streets, oblivious to the recent intruders. "I'm stronger than you and of higher rank than you are." Toshi said. "You're a Genin and I'm a Chunin, how does that work? And also, you have never won in any of our fights." Vatas pointed out. Toshi said nothing but kept running. Finally, she muttered, "Someone is following us."


__________________________________________________ ________________________


Nui stood, his blade drenched in blood. Bleeding, Kama stood there, he shoulder having a sword stuck in it. Yelling in anger, Kama swung his blade around, aimed for Nui. The scythe hit Nui's side and blood poured out, falling to the scythe and the ground. From the pain, Nui yelled in pain and blood flew out of his mouth.
With that, Kama grinned evilly. With his other hand, he reached into his robe and then brought out....a pure black stick-like sword. "You're dead." Kama shouted and brought
the short black sword down......



TO


BE


CONTINUED.

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-15-2009, 11:26 AM
Character Profiles are Made for both Nui and Vatas!

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-15-2009, 11:55 AM
How did you like my story?

Nine
07-15-2009, 12:30 PM
please keep writing!!

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-15-2009, 12:36 PM
Thanks, ninetaled!

kakashi uzumaki
07-15-2009, 12:43 PM
cool story pride
hmm entertaining as well

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-15-2009, 12:51 PM
Thanks. :mrgreen:

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-15-2009, 12:56 PM
Character Profiles for Toshi and Menrui is Completed.

kakashi uzumaki
07-15-2009, 01:07 PM
wow pride u really working hard there

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-15-2009, 01:42 PM
Thank You. :mrgreen:

NaruSakufluff4ever
07-15-2009, 03:46 PM
the blood thing was freaky :shock:but cool :mrgreen:

Kuromaki
07-15-2009, 04:30 PM
Hm, I finally found this story...

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-15-2009, 04:33 PM
the blood thing was freaky :shock:but cool :mrgreen:

Yeah, I figured, but thanks.

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-15-2009, 04:33 PM
Hm, I finally found this story...

Are you going to read it?

Kuromaki
07-15-2009, 04:38 PM
Are you going to read it?
Yeah.

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-15-2009, 04:46 PM
Yeah.

Okay then. :mrgreen:

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-15-2009, 04:50 PM
Character Profile: Kama Ikkaku Completed.

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-15-2009, 07:40 PM
Please tell me what you think, people.

Sephiroth
07-15-2009, 08:04 PM
good story man if i could give u rep i would

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-15-2009, 08:06 PM
Thanks, Jeremy.

Luna Mikazuki
07-15-2009, 08:12 PM
I love it

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-15-2009, 08:12 PM
Cool....have you read Chapter Two yet???

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-16-2009, 08:18 AM
Progress on Chapter Four will Begin soon!

mangagirl
07-16-2009, 11:14 AM
i love it!!!!1its awesome!!!

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-16-2009, 11:15 AM
Thanks for the compliment.

mangagirl
07-16-2009, 11:22 AM
Thanks!!!
*kisses manga*
*kisses back*anytime:mrgreen:

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-16-2009, 11:29 AM
*kisses back*anytime:mrgreen:

:mrgreen:



News: Work on Chapter Four will start in Half an Hour.

mangagirl
07-16-2009, 11:33 AM
yay!!!!!!!

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-16-2009, 12:25 PM
Chapter Four: The Leader of the Light Clan.

Just as Kama swung his black sword down, Nui began to instantly form one handed handsings with his free hand. Suddenly, a burst of pure light exploded out of Nui's hand. The power generating from it sent Kama flying. He smashed into a wall, and through it. Rubble and bricks fell down as Kama lay on the ground. A human-sized hole was in the wall. Soon, it was a normal circular hole because of the rubble falling in. Nui stood before it, gazing grimly at the sight.
"Light Style: Light Palm: Achieved."


__________________________________________________ ________________________


"What do you mean that someone's here?" Vatas questioned. "I said that someone is watching us." Toshi replied. Just then, an giant object appeared out of the dark sky. It was big, about the size of a house. Watching the object, Vatas and Toshi stood, surprised. Menrui hung on Vatas's shoulder, asleep as ever, drooling, and seemingly snoring.


__________________________________________________ ________________________


Kama stumbled out of the ruined wall, obviously injured. His left foot was uncontrolably shaking; part of his rib has been broken and his face had signs of burnt: it seemed as if he had took a blast to the face. Kama's short black sword was broken in half, the sharp point dangling. In his other hand was his scythe, smoke hanging from it and drifting up to the sky. "You managed to put a dent in me.....who are you exactly?" Kama muttered, his eyes alert.
Nui ruffled through his hair with his hand. "I already said, Nui Onimusha." Immediatly, Kama's eyebrows shot up. "Onimusha? You don't mean...yes, you are." With that, he raised his scythe at Nui.
"You are the Kage of the Light Clan!"







To Be Continued

Obito
07-16-2009, 12:27 PM
Another one! Another one!

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-16-2009, 12:31 PM
Another one! Another one!

You finished Chapter Four already? It's just been 2 mintues since it was out!

Obito
07-16-2009, 12:43 PM
I want to read another one!

mangagirl
07-16-2009, 01:07 PM
me too!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-16-2009, 01:08 PM
Thanks, guys.

NaruSakufluff4ever
07-16-2009, 01:10 PM
same as the others before me!

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-16-2009, 01:10 PM
same as the others before me!

So I see you have read Chapter Four?

NaruSakufluff4ever
07-16-2009, 01:12 PM
yes, yes i have and nice concealment who knew that dude was important? well u did but who else :mrgreen:

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-16-2009, 01:27 PM
yes, yes i have and nice twist!!

Which twist exactly?

mangagirl
07-16-2009, 01:27 PM
i have to go bye!!

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-16-2009, 01:28 PM
i have to go bye!!

Bye, manga!
*hugs her*

mangagirl
07-16-2009, 01:29 PM
*hugs back* bye vat

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-16-2009, 01:40 PM
*hugs back* bye vat

See ya!
Chapter Five will be Written Tomorrow!

NaruSakufluff4ever
07-16-2009, 01:41 PM
i changed it now ^.^

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-16-2009, 01:55 PM
yes, yes i have and nice concealment who knew that dude was important? well u did but who else :mrgreen:

Yep....you mean Nui, right?


Hint: This story's setting is before when villages were made, when villages were "clans."

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-16-2009, 01:56 PM
i changed it now ^.^

Yes you did.

shinmarubountyhunter
07-16-2009, 03:12 PM
this is nice but you should make all the chapters on the same post

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-16-2009, 03:47 PM
this is nice but you should make all the chapters on the same post

Nah, I don't like being Too Organized, so I Listed the Chapters on The First Post and what Page They are on.

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-17-2009, 03:31 PM
Chapter Five: The Cager


Nui shocked expression brought smile to Kama's charred face. "I knew it!" he yelled, laughing. "How did you know?" Nui asked, slowly raising his sword. "The Onimusha are a Royal Dynasty that Rules the Light Clan, of course. I never thought I see one of them," Kama explained. "But more on the question, why are you here? Shouldn't you be in some mansion, stuffing yourself to the bone?"
Nui shrugged. "I don't find being fat amusing." With that, he charged at Kama, blade out.


__________________________________________________ ________________________


The figure that crashed down to the houses slowly stood up. Dressed in white armor, he held a giant spiked club. He was giant, big as a giant in Greek Mythology. He had a mask on him and a long jagged scar ran down from his head to his eye which seemed had lost sight a while ago. The poor house he had crashed on was completely demolished. Broken glass hung on the empty streets. Chips of wood were everywhere. Soon, villagers were woken up. They fearfully glanced at the giant, then at the short mad girl, the tall silent ninja, and his sleeping comrade, and quickly screamed and ran for cover.
Finally, someone spoked. "Who are you?" Vatas asked, his hand at his sword's hilt and his eyes locked. The giant man seemed to smile under his mask.
"I should say the same for you, intruder. To answer your question, I am simply known as the Cager. My job is to hand out punishments for any intruders or rogue ninjas of our village." He then swung his blade at Vatas. Just as Vatas unsheate his sword, Toshi held out her hand, signalling him to let her handle this. "My turn, Vatas. I was dying out of boredom for a while, but now.." Toshi grinned, reaching for her sword.


__________________________________________________ ________________________


Nui jumped as Kama swung his scythe at him. Nui then landed on the scythe and then leaned down to stab Kama. With amazing strength, Kama lifted his scythe up, sending Nui flying. Nui then gracefully landed on the wall, and reached for something behind his back. He then jumped once again, throwing several shurikens at Kama. Kama easily blocked the shuriken with his scythe but then looked up to see Nui with his blade, aimed for Kama's head.
And dawn came, lined with bloody red.





To Be Continued

mangagirl
07-17-2009, 03:35 PM
wow!awesome!!!!!!!!!

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-17-2009, 03:49 PM
Thanks!

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-18-2009, 04:35 PM
Chapter Six: The Jashinist
A sword in his shoulder, Kama grinned. Nui's expression turned from serious to confusion. Suddenly, blood flew out of his shoulder. He grimaced in pain and held his now bloody shoulder with his other free hand. "What is this?" he asked, eyes locked to the gash in his shoulder. Then he slowly realized something. The three-bladed red scythe, the short wooden blade. Dreading, Nui glanced down on the floor. There was a Jashin Circle, written in blood, with Kama standing on it.
He's a Follower of Jashin! Nui realized as Kama let out a screeching laugh.


__________________________________________________ ________________________


Toshi rolled to the left as the Cager's fist smashed into the roof of the house she was standing on. She leaped once again as the Cager's other fist smashed the roof where she just stood on. Toshi landed on another house. She pulled out her sword and grinned at the Cager.
"Awfully strong, huh." she said. The Cager returned her smile. "Yes." With that, he charged. As the Cager advanced, Toshi stood there,pondering. Sending Vatas and Menrui away was a good idea. Now there's no one to get in my way, so.... With that, Toshi smiled. "Are you ready, fatty?"


__________________________________________________ ________________________


Vatas ran through the empty streets, along with Menrui. Menrui was woken up because of the commotion. Word of them has reached everybody in the clan, and it was declared into a state of emergency. Citizens were advised to not interfere and hide in their houses. Guards were told and were also permitted to slaughter if needed to. Ninjas of all ranks were woken up and are now prowling through the village, ready. So far, they had not encountered any enemy, and Vatas intended to keep it that way.



TO
BE
CONTINUED

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-18-2009, 04:37 PM
Character Profile of the Cager has been Added!

Broko
07-18-2009, 06:04 PM
Chapter One: The Beginning

Four figures sat on a cliff, overlooking a village. The sky was orange, the sun was leaving, the winds were starting up, showing the signs of a descend into nightfall. The villagers were leaving, going to their homes and families. Soon, it was night and all the villagers were fast asleep and the night lights brightened. One of the four figures grinned, flashing him teeth in the darkness.
"Finally, it's midnight." He said, and stood up. The moonlight hit his face, revealing a mask with the face of a dragon. "I hate being in these damn bloody jobs, they're just require so much....work." muttered another figure and too stood up, too wearing a mask, plain black. The other two figures too stood up, too wearing masks. All of them were armored.
Swords hung on their backs, gleaming in the moonlight and stained with blood. "Shut up, Menrui. Geez, you're always complaining about work. It's annoying" muttered another figure, to the person who talked the second. The man known as Menrui ruffled his hair with his hair. "It's not my fault, Toshi."
The person known as Toshi glared at Menrui. "Idiots....." muttered the last person, his long white hair blowing in the wind. Immediatly, Toshi spun around, her face bright red with anger. "What did you say, Nui?!" she yelled. The white haired man known as Nui said nothing. "Be quiet, Toshi, or the guards might hear us." the figure who talked first muttered. "There's no guards, stupid head! Are you blind, Vatas?!" Toshi said. Vatas glanced at her. "You mean you don't see them?"
Yoshi took a long hard look at the village. "No."
"You see the crows and ravens on the ground? How about the birds on the look-out tower?"
"What about them?"
"Toshi, this is the Bird Clan. The ninjas here have a Kekkai Genkei that allows them to turn into any type of bird. They are a type of clan that specializes in espionage." Nui explained.
"So the Old Man sent us in to take them out, eh? Not so nice of him, huh." Menrui muttered. "So basically, we get to kick feathery butts and get paid too?" Toshi asked. Menrui shrugged. "Probably,"
Toshi slowly pulled out her sword, grinning wickedly. "Good enough for me." Menrui groaned. "There you go off again, Toshi." Fortunately, Toshi did not hear this. She had already jumped off the cliff, and into the village. Mumbling, Nui jumped after her, followed by Vatas. Menrui leaped down last, complaining as usual. "Damn hyperactive girl....!"

Note: As the Writer of this Story, I will have to tell you the Dangers of it. The next chapters will be highly bloody, with broken wings and feathers flying about. In a nutshell, the world will finally figure why some bird species today are endangered or worse, extinct.

The group landed down on the floor. Once they land, a burst of dust exploded on the ground where they stood. The dust died soon enough and the group slowly stood up.
"So this is the Bird Clan, huh..." Menrui muttered, gazing at the empty street, cluttered with feathers and bird droppings on the ground. Now in the streets, with better light, the team could be seen better. Nui was tall, thin and had white long hair. His serious but calm face reflected in the street light. He wore a black kimino, topped with a black kimino. Toshi was short, with short blond hair pulled in a ponytail and her face with the trademark scowl. She wore a red jacket, and jeans, completed with a hood. Menrui wore a sleeveless gray shirt, topped with a green jacket. Vatas was dressed in a black cloak, complete with a hood. Red flames hung in the bottom of his cloak and his dragon mask gazed from corner to corner, emotionless.
Toshi smiled. "Now then, time to fight!" She reached for her back and unsheates her sword, a mixture of a katana and dagger. Not surprisingly, the sword had no handle at all. Nui then took out a mask and begin to study it while Menrui continued mumbling about something. All the while, small shadows lingered and prowled through the streets. Vatas was the first to notice this. Before he could warn his team, a blast of wind struck Menrui. He was sent flying. He hit the ground. Nui and Vatas, automatically pulled out there swords. Toshi, surprised, sets herself in a stance, ready for the next attack.
"Well well, look at what we have here." the attacker said, his mouth seemingly pulling back in a fang-like evil grin.



To Be Continued..
i like it try giving more detail on the person on the first page

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-18-2009, 06:53 PM
i like it try giving more detail on the person on the first page

Um, which person exactly....-_-...

Broko
07-18-2009, 07:09 PM
Um, which person exactly....-_-...
all of them on the first page tell the veiwers what they are wearing what chalkra nature and all that

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-18-2009, 07:10 PM
all of them on the first page tell the veiwers what they are wearing what chalkra nature and all that

Oh, you see, I'm still working on that.

vino
07-18-2009, 07:25 PM
I like it ^^

Broko
07-18-2009, 07:27 PM
Oh, you see, I'm still working on that.
you can draw sketches of them and you can describe them like this

Ex.)
Name:Broko
Gender:Male
Age: 13
Birth: 7-16-1996
Description:Tall black hair were the UchiKage's Coat over a Darknes jonin suit over a long sleave jonin shirt jonin pants has a sorwd on back
Occupation:Genin of The Towers Village
Blood Type: A+
height:5'6
Weight:100 Ponds

mangagirl
07-18-2009, 08:00 PM
wow its awesome!!!i love it!!

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-18-2009, 08:03 PM
you can draw sketches of them and you can describe them like this

Ex.)
Name:Broko
Gender:Male
Age: 13
Birth: 7-16-1996
Description:Tall black hair were the UchiKage's Coat over a Darknes jonin suit over a long sleave jonin shirt jonin pants has a sorwd on back
Occupation:Genin of The Towers Village
Blood Type: A+
height:5'6
Weight:100 Ponds
I already drew them, but it's just that my printer doesn't work.

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-18-2009, 08:04 PM
wow its awesome!!!i love it!!

Thanks, honey. :)

mangagirl
07-18-2009, 08:08 PM
anytime vat

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-18-2009, 09:04 PM
anytime vat

*kisses manga* :cool:

mangagirl
07-18-2009, 09:05 PM
*kisses manga* :cool:
*kisses back*

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-18-2009, 09:44 PM
*kisses back*

:mrgreen:


News: Character Profiles will be Improved when Possible.

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-19-2009, 10:22 PM
Note: Character Profiles has been Updated!

SakuraGirl
07-20-2009, 01:13 PM
this is a great story and do you draw well?

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-20-2009, 01:28 PM
this is a great story and do you draw well?

Yes, I draw good.

SakuraGirl
07-20-2009, 01:57 PM
could you draw my person for me.it up there before my name and you don,t have to i was just asking

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-20-2009, 02:01 PM
could you draw my person for me.it up there before my name and you don,t have to i was just asking

Um, I don't draw girl characters that well, so I suggest you ask someone like Black King.

SakuraGirl
07-20-2009, 02:06 PM
who is black king and is he good

Lou!e
07-20-2009, 02:07 PM
who is black king and is he good

Black king is a girl...

SakuraGirl
07-20-2009, 02:12 PM
oh is she good

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-20-2009, 02:24 PM
Black king is a girl...
Yeah..

oh is she good
Yes, she is a good drawer.

SakuraGirl
07-20-2009, 02:39 PM
oh ok

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-20-2009, 02:40 PM
Okay then!

SakuraGirl
07-20-2009, 03:23 PM
thank so much for your help

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-20-2009, 04:42 PM
You're Welcome. ^_^

mangagirl
07-20-2009, 04:44 PM
Note: Character Profiles has been Updated!

yay!!!lolz!:mrgreen:

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-20-2009, 04:50 PM
Thanks, manga!

mangagirl
07-20-2009, 04:55 PM
Thanks, manga!

anytime vat

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-20-2009, 05:22 PM
Chapter Seven: Bloody Arm


"Who are you calling fat?!" the Cager yelled at Toshi as he charged. "You." Toshi replied, smiling. Before the Cager could respond, Toshi leaped and slashed at him with her sword. The blade connected the Cager's arm and blood splashed everywhere as his arm was sent flying and the Cager's shout of pain echoed across the streets.


Note: I TOLD you it would be bloody. Also, Curse my Brother!!!!!!!!!!! He ruined my sketch! :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:


Kama never got to stab himself, thus killing Nui if he had. Before he could, Nui had pushed Kama out of the circle and had washed the circle away with a water jutsu.
"You're smart..." Kama muttered. Nui remained silent and attacked with his sword. Kama sidestepped, dodging it and jumped back. Immediatly, Nui started stringing together handseals. A second later, he stopped and smiled. A wave of water appeared and headed, right for Kama. Just as the water was before Kama, Kama jumped back, landing on the roof of a house as the water hit the wall instead. "But you heavily underestimate me, not resorting to jutsus of your level." Kama muttered. Suddenly, the wall started to crack. Suddenly, the wall broke as the water poured through the other side of the wall and Kama falling into the water.
Nui stood at the center of the street, serious as ever and forming handseals. He then stopped and said, "Lightning Spread Jutsu." as lightning crackled, appearing in his hand.


__________________________________________________ _______________




Grasping the part of his arm that hasn't been disconnected from his body, the Cager stood 20 feet away from Toshi, glaring needles at her. Toshi stood, grinning, holding her sword as blood slowly dripped to the ground. She raised her sword again and charged as the Cager set into a stance.


__________________________________________________ _______________


Vatas immediatly realized something as he ran through the streets with Menrui. Always quick to catch on, Menrui noticed this. "What's wrong?" He asked.
Vatas glanced at Menrui with a somewhat troubled face. "Toshi is having fun."
Menrui nodded. "You noticed that too, huh? She always release a change in the atmosphere when she gets this way....man, she is a pain, always getting bloody and chopping off arms and such."


T.B.C.
(To Be Continued)

mangagirl
07-20-2009, 05:25 PM
wow awesome!!!

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-20-2009, 05:32 PM
wow awesome!!!

Thanks, manga!

mangagirl
07-20-2009, 05:34 PM
anytime vat!*smiles*

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-20-2009, 05:38 PM
anytime vat!*smiles*

*smiles back*

SakuraGirl
07-20-2009, 06:11 PM
it getting great

mangagirl
07-20-2009, 06:25 PM
ya i agree

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-20-2009, 06:27 PM
ya i agree
Thanks

it getting great

Thanks. Do you want spoilers? :cool:

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-21-2009, 12:32 PM
Chapter Eight: Dawn


Kama slowly stood up, drenched and tired. One of the three blades on his scythe was broken: it was destroyed when a giant piece of the wall had fallen on it and broken it. Smoke hung from him everywhere: Nui's lightning attack had spread through him and also had heavily injured him.
"You posses a Lightning Affinity? And that attack earlier, you seemingly posses a Water Affinity too." Kama observed, slowly setting into a defensive stance. Nui kept silent as Kama continued talking. "That attack on my face earlier was also Light Style with a little fire mixed in it. So you can use Fire too. Typical for a Kage, to be able to use several elements." Kama continued as Nui lifted his sword. Immediatly, Nui threw his sword in the sky. It flew upwards, twirling as Nui started to string together handsigns. Kama, using that to his advantage, charged straight out, right for Nui. Nui stopped as Kama slashed at him. Nui jumped, dodging the scythe. His sword finally flew down and grabbing it while in the air, Nui slashed downwards at Kama.
And blood flew everywhere, splashing on the floor and streets as Kama collapsed to the ground, with a giant gash in both his shoulders. Nui gazed to the setting dawn as Kama collapsed to the ground. "You're good..." Kama muttered and with that, he fell unconscious.
"I'm sorry, but it had to be done." Nui muttered and with that, he left.


__________________________________________________ _______________


Toshi gazed at the setting sun, slowly approaching to the dark blue sky. "Crap, it's dawn....this is gonna get harder...more guards are bound to notice us." With that, she formed a handsign and suddenly, a cloud of white smoke exploded out. Soon, the smoke cleared, revealing nobody there, except for a giant body laying on the ground, drenched in blood and his face etched in eternal terror.



To Be Continued

mangagirl
07-21-2009, 12:33 PM
wow awsome i love ur story

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-21-2009, 12:35 PM
Wow, you just finished Chapter Eight, manga?
:shock:

mangagirl
07-21-2009, 12:36 PM
ya i read fast

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-21-2009, 12:37 PM
Cool!

mangagirl
07-21-2009, 12:38 PM
yay!!

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-21-2009, 12:46 PM
Yep, and also, if you want a hint for the chapters to come, go to the first page to see the names of the upcoming arcs!

Sephiroth
07-21-2009, 12:57 PM
*claps hands* brovo borvo pride

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-21-2009, 01:07 PM
Thanks, Jeremy!

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-21-2009, 06:52 PM
News: Thank You to Everyone who Have Read my Story!!!! :mrgreen:

mangagirl
07-21-2009, 06:53 PM
anytime..

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-21-2009, 08:32 PM
:mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

Hiro
07-22-2009, 12:19 AM
:shock::!::!::shock: i read to chapter 8 just now...... it is completely and utterly.... amazing! it is exhilerating, such great description, a good plot, the suspense........ so far, of all the fanfics..... i have to say this is the best....

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-22-2009, 08:46 AM
:shock::!::!::shock: i read to chapter 8 just now...... it is completely and utterly.... amazing! it is exhilerating, such great description, a good plot, the suspense........ so far, of all the fanfics..... i have to say this is the best....

Thanks, Hiro, but this is JUST the Beginning. MwaHaHaHa.

I'll give you a clue for that comment about the next chapters, do you want it? :cool:

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-22-2009, 02:57 PM
Progress on Chapter 9 will begin shortly.

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-22-2009, 03:50 PM
Chapter Nine: The Timid Medic


"It's dawn already, damn!" Vatas cursed, running. "Well, it's your fault for making us lost track and run around in circles." Menrui muttered. "It's your fault you slowed us down by falling asleep." Vatas countered as they ran as fast as their legs could carry them from a mob of ninjas with swords and clubs.


Note: I had finally redrawn my picture my brother ruined, hooray! :mrgreen:


Nui instantly teleported from house top to house top, looking for his comrades. After five minutes of searching, he had finally found Toshi. After a few minutes of lecturing her for mercilessly killing her opponent, they were now running too, searching for Vatas and Menrui.


__________________________________________________ _______________


Hanataro walked through the streets of the Bird Clan, pondering. Hanataro was a small, timid kid, always ignored by his teammates and mocked by them too for looking so weak and small and pale. He was a medical ninja, and healing was his only ability. He was recently ordered to go out into the field and heal the guards and injured ninjas. Hanataro was also considered strange for having orange hair.
Oh, great, I'm lost... he thought.
Hm, maybe if I just head home...
Just then, he saw a group of ninjas, enclosed in a circular position.
"Maybe I'll ask these guys.." Hanataro mumbled, beginning to walk toward them. Unfortunately, there was a small pebble on the ground close to the mob of ninjas, in Hanataro's path. As Hanataro was beginning to say something, his foot hit the pebble, and with that, he stumbles into the mob of ninjas.


__________________________________________________ _______________


Meanwhile, Toshi and Nui were trapped. Ninjas surrounded them, all grining, arrogant, and holding up their weapons. It wasn't just so when something happened. A young, timid yell came from the mob of ninjas as they started to stumble on each other. Soon, it was a large pile of people on the ground. Finally, someone crawled out of the pile. It was Hanataro. Toshi glanced at him with her trademark scowl while Nui remained serious and silent. "Who are you guys? I haven't seen you before." Hanataro asked as Toshi's scowl slowly turned into a smile.
"We want to leave. Do you know the way?" Nui asked as Hanataro's neutral expression immediatly changed to confusion. "Why would you want to leave the clan? Unless....you were the intruders--" Before Hanataro could continue, Toshi grasped his shoulder and pulled him up. She unsheate her sword and held it too Hanataro's neck and yelled, "Let us through or your friend'll get it!" as Hanataro screamed and started to weep.



T-o B-e C-o-n-t-i-n-u-ed

Hiro
07-22-2009, 03:55 PM
Thanks, Hiro, but this is JUST the Beginning. MwaHaHaHa.

I'll give you a clue for that comment about the next chapters, do you want it? :cool:
yes! of course! sorry it took so long, i got off and left the computer on xD

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-22-2009, 03:56 PM
yes! of course! sorry it took so long, i got off and left the computer on xD

I'll PM it to you and also, Chapter Eight is finished.

Hiro
07-22-2009, 04:02 PM
I'll PM it to you and also, Chapter Eight is finished.
yayz!

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-22-2009, 04:03 PM
yayz!

But it doesn't have as much action, though....the end of this arc will be in about three or four chapters.

Hiro
07-22-2009, 04:05 PM
But it doesn't have as much action, though....the end of this arc will be in about three or four chapters.
action isnt everything, if it were, then DBZ would be better than naruto ^_^

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-22-2009, 04:05 PM
action isnt everything, if it were, then DBZ would be better than naruto ^_^

I agree. ^_^

NaruSakufluff4ever
07-22-2009, 04:06 PM
i just read through the chapters and one word: AWESOMENESS!!!this is really really awesome!! keep writing ^.^

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-22-2009, 04:06 PM
i just read through the chapters and one word: AWESOMENESS!!!this is really really awesome!! keep writing ^.^

What Chapter are you on?

Chromekatana
07-22-2009, 04:08 PM
Ijust read chapter two. Pretty good stuff.XD;)

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-22-2009, 04:08 PM
Ijust read chapter two. Pretty good stuff.XD;)

I have one thing to say, Chapter Seven is pretty good. :cool:

Chromekatana
07-22-2009, 04:10 PM
I have one thing to say, Chapter Seven is pretty good. :cool:
Lol,It'll take me awhile to get to there though.

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-22-2009, 04:11 PM
Lol,It'll take me awhile to get to there though.

Well, remember that warning on blood, so be cautious. :cool:

Chromekatana
07-22-2009, 04:16 PM
Well, remember that warning on blood, so be cautious. :cool:


Lol,because I'm so cautious of reading about blood lol. You should include pics.XD

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-22-2009, 04:17 PM
Lol,because I'm so cautious of reading about blood lol. You should include pics.XD

Pics of what?
LOL, I was confused with the chapter numbers for a moment.

Obito
07-22-2009, 04:18 PM
Did you make another Chapter, I just finished reading everything, CHAPTER!

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-22-2009, 04:19 PM
Did you make another Chapter, I just finished reading everything, CHAPTER!

Yes, Chapter Nine is on the Previous Page, Obito.

Chromekatana
07-22-2009, 04:20 PM
Pics of what?
LOL, I was confused with the chapter numbers for a moment.

Of BLOOD.

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-22-2009, 04:21 PM
Of BLOOD.

Nah, I don't draw liquids that well.

Chromekatana
07-22-2009, 04:24 PM
Nah, I don't draw liquids that well.


Lol,who said anything about drawing. Mwahhahahaaha.:evil:

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-22-2009, 04:26 PM
Lol,who said anything about drawing. Mwahhahahaaha.:evil:

-punches Chro-
Be quiet...jk
:p

Obito
07-22-2009, 04:37 PM
I want another chapter!

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-22-2009, 05:49 PM
Okay, Obito!

I'll write it tomorrow!

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-23-2009, 10:24 AM
Chapter Ten: Hanataro


"Aghhhhhhhh!" Hanataro screamed in horror as Toshi grasped his shoulder in one hand and her other hand holding her blade, which was barely a centimeter from his little neck. Meanwhile, the mob of ninjas said nothing, remaining motionless.
"Hey, pretend you're scared of us." Toshi whispered into Hanataro's ear. Hanataro nodded slowly, frightened. "Um, yes, please do what they say." he mumbled to the group.
Suddenly, the whole ninja group burst into laughter. Nui's expression turned to confusion as he gazed at them. "We don't care what you do to Hanataro, he's a weakling!" yelled out one ninja. "We hate him!" yelled another ninja.
"So kill him if you want to, we don't care at all!" they yelled in unison, laughing.


__________________________________________________ _______________


Two ninjas stood before Kama, who was still unconscious and injured. "Who ever thought the Great Jashin Warrior Kama would fall." Ninjas #1 muttered. Ninja #2 ruffled through her hair. "I knew an idiot like him wouldn't protect the village safely. And he didn't even use that jutsu. His pride always gets the best of him."
Ninja #1 shrugged. "At least we don't have to pay him today's wage then."
Ninja #2 replied "True, but I guess we should at least get him a medical ninja."
Ninjas #1 nodded. "Where the heck is that kid? I told Hanataro to come here."


To Be Continued...:mrgreen:

mangagirl
07-23-2009, 10:35 AM
awesome!!!!love it!!!
write more please!!

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-23-2009, 10:46 AM
Thanks, manga!

mangagirl
07-23-2009, 10:48 AM
anytime vat!

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-23-2009, 10:50 AM
-smiles-
BTW, tell Obito about this when he gets online, he's dying to read a new chapter.

mangagirl
07-23-2009, 10:51 AM
ok i will...

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-23-2009, 10:52 AM
ok i will...

:mrgreen: Yep.

mangagirl
07-23-2009, 10:52 AM
yep....

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-23-2009, 10:56 AM
Yeah...

Kuromaki
07-23-2009, 10:14 PM
Good Story so far.

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-23-2009, 10:18 PM
Yep...what's the best chapter in your opinion right now?

Kuromaki
07-24-2009, 07:55 AM
Yep...what's the best chapter in your opinion right now?
Um, well I haven't gotten that far yet ^_^"
So I'll say Ch. 1 for now.
You changed your avatar, I see.

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-24-2009, 08:59 AM
Um, well I haven't gotten that far yet ^_^"
So I'll say Ch. 1 for now.
You changed your avatar, I see.

Yep and Okay. ^^

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-24-2009, 12:37 PM
Hanataro's Profile has been Created!

Also, the Author will be on Hitaus today! ^^

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-25-2009, 10:34 AM
Progress on Chapter Eleven will start shortly!

mangagirl
07-25-2009, 10:49 AM
yay awesome!

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-25-2009, 11:07 AM
:mrgreen:

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-25-2009, 04:08 PM
Chapter Eleven: The Kage of the Bird


"Wait, don't you think that's a little cruel, just because someone has different responsibilities?!" Toshi yelled. "That almost makes sense.." Nui muttered as Hanataro glanced at the group of ninjas in disbeliefment. And with that, the mob of ninjas charge. Responding, Toshi reached for her sword's handle as Nui began to string together handsigns. Suddenly, the wall right next to the rampaging ninjas started to brighten up. And the wall exploded, sending the mob of ninjas flying and setting off a cloud of smoke. "What was that.." Nui muttered as Toshi spun around to face the other ninjas, one arm on Hanataro, the other grasping her sword.
"Who cares? What matters is that...the enemy's numbers just have been cut in half!" and she and Nui charged right into the shocked ninjas.
In the next few seconds, ninjas flew everywhere as Nui and Toshi barged their way in. As the smoke cleared, two figures stepped into the white, filled-with- droppings floor. It was Menrui and Vatas. "You overdid it, Menrui." Vatas lectured. Menrui shrugged. "At least it worked." Vatas then glanced at the street, filled with unconscious ninjas. "I thought I had sensed their chakra here, but it looks like we just missed them." Menrui explained. He then closed his eyes and started to concentrate. After a few seconds, he reopened his eyes and pointed to the north. "They've gone that way." Menrui said. Vatas nodded and they began running.


__________________________________________________ _______________


A Bird Clan messenger slowly approached the man sitting in the throne. Two guards were around him, eyes moving from corner to corner, in search of intruders. Drawings of birds hung on the walls, and red/ gold feathers drifted through the air.
The messenger than kneel down as he got to the throne. "My Lord, Intruders have Infiltrated our Home. It seems their mission is to assassinate you."
The man sitting in the throne smiled, only his teeth showing in the shadow.
"So they've come. Well, let them! Their result is inevitable! They will perish."
He said and stood up and said "Or my name isn't Takuni Yomashi, Kage of the Bird Clan!" as the doors ten feet before him opened, and there stood Nui Onimusha.

To

Be

Continued

mangagirl
07-25-2009, 04:09 PM
yay!!! awesome!! i love it!!

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-25-2009, 04:15 PM
Thanks.

mangagirl
07-25-2009, 04:18 PM
anytime!!! ure awesome!!!

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-25-2009, 04:29 PM
:mrgreen:

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-27-2009, 05:42 PM
I am going to post the next chapter when someone posts here, so sorry.

Sai's brother
07-27-2009, 05:44 PM
Cool!

5 morenah 1moredont forget about mine

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-27-2009, 07:00 PM
Thanks.

Hiro
07-27-2009, 07:02 PM
I am going to post the next chapter when someone posts here, so sorry.
i posted, now you post the next chapter!! lolz...

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-27-2009, 07:03 PM
Sorry, but I have to work now, my story will be posted tomorrow instead!

mangagirl
07-27-2009, 07:18 PM
yay awesome!!

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-27-2009, 08:17 PM
lol...

Hiro
07-27-2009, 08:19 PM
Sorry, but I have to work now, my story will be posted tomorrow instead!
* twitch twitch * i been played. :evil: lolz jk...

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-27-2009, 08:20 PM
* twitch twitch * i been played. :evil: lolz jk...

Yep...but tell me what you think the next chapter's gonna be about.

Uchiha Itachi
07-28-2009, 03:55 AM
Wow that was so awesome!! more more more more

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-28-2009, 08:21 AM
Thanks....um, who are you?

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-28-2009, 01:24 PM
Chapter XII: The AiraKage


In the shadows, the AiraKage narrowed his eyes as he gazed at Nui. Meanwhile, the messenger was paralyzed, still bowing down, his eyes speaking of senseless fright. The guards instantly leap from their positions and land an inch before the messenger. "How did you get in here? The guards would have stopped you and why didn't I even sense your chakra?" the AiraKage questioned. Nui remained silent as the faint sound of punches and kicks being worked was heard outside. The AiraKage slowly nodded and said, "Very well then, be silent, but you have just made a mistake by not answering me, so be silent for eternity!"
With that, the two guards charged at Nui, spears out as Nui grasped his sword, ready. At that exact moment, something whistled through the air before Nui as wood flew everywhere. Nui looked back, seeing a door with a human-sized hole in it. The figure kicked one guard directly in the face and punched the other one in the jaw, and both were sent flying. They hit the wall, both creating small craters and slowly slid down, knocked out, as the figure landed on the floor with a thud.
"You let your guard down, Onimusha." Toshi muttered, grinning.


__________________________________________________ _______________


Hanataro hid in the remains of the door, nervously sweating. He had quickly hid when he saw the AiraKage and was now working on a will in his mind. After five minutes of praying, he had finally decided to reveal himself. "Toshi, you shouldn't lecture Mr.Onimusha like that, he's your superior."
Everyone's eyes turned to the source of the voice and the AiraKage's eyes widened in surprise. "Hanataro...!"
Toshi, however, immediatly scowled at Hanataro and replied, "Shut up, idiot! I can do whatever I want!"

Nui remained silent. In a flash, he raised his sword at the AiraKage and said, "You best be ready, because here I come!" as Toshi and Hanataro glanced in shock and the AiraKage smiled and stood up.


ToooooooooooooooooooooooooBeeeeeeeContinued.

mangagirl
07-28-2009, 01:29 PM
awesome vat! write more!!!

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-28-2009, 02:42 PM
Thanks. ^^

ItachiAnbu
07-28-2009, 02:48 PM
Give it some time, Pride, you just posted it today.

And I like it. Don't delete it.

Yeah, it's not like my Fan-fic, which has been there a month, and almost no one comments on it.:cry:


I like this fan-Fic, it seems very good. ^^

Also, Pride, if I could make a recommendation? Just one little thing; it would be easier to read if you spaced it out into littler paragraphs. Like, whenever a new character speaks, start a new paragraph.;)

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-28-2009, 02:52 PM
Yeah, it's not like my Fan-fic, which has been there a month, and almost no one comments on it.:cry:


I like this fan-Fic, it seems very good. ^^

Also, Pride, if I could make a recommendation? Just one little thing; it would be easier to read if you spaced it out into littler paragraphs. Like, whenever a new character speaks, start a new paragraph.;)

Ya, I know, but I'm too lazy to do so. ;) I'll try to do it next time, okay? :cool:

ItachiAnbu
07-28-2009, 03:03 PM
Ya, I know, but I'm too lazy to do so. ;) I'll try to do it next time, okay? :cool:

Sure, that's cool.

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-28-2009, 03:25 PM
Okay then.

assassin
07-29-2009, 02:42 PM
I just read the entire story.

impressive.

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-29-2009, 02:45 PM
Who's your favorite character?

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-30-2009, 10:35 AM
Chapter Thirteen: The Bijuu of the Light


Now standing in the dim light, the AiraKage's face was shown. A short, combed beard matched with his angered expression on his scarred face. He wore a red-and-gold jacket, with drawings of birds and mystical phoenixes etched on it. He gazed at Nui's sword and then offered a bored smile and said,
"That so.....then does that mean you're ready to die?"
Nui shook his head and replied, "No, it means I'm ready to kill you." He then waved a hand at Toshi and muttered, "Toshi, get back." Toshi returned that comment with a scowl. "Why should I? I want a piece of this fight too!"
Nui remained silent. Suddenly, he turned his head, glancing at Toshi.
"Toshi, move or you're going to get caught in the crossfire." he said as Toshi gulped, staring into his brown eyes, now replaced by a monster's pupils.


__________________________________________________ _______________


Menrui widened his eyes in shock as he ran through the streets of the Bird Clan with Vatas, slowly approaching the Kage's home. "What is it, Menrui?" Vatas asked.
"I sense...a bijuu in the area, activating its tails." Menrui muttered as Vatas opened his eyes in surprise.


__________________________________________________ _______________

Toshi hid behind the remains of the door with Hanataro, who was sucking his thumb nervously. "There's no way he can kill the AiraKage, there's just no chance!"
Toshi returned Hanataro's comment with a punch to his shoulder. "Ow!" Hanataro mumbled.
Toshi grinned in return.
"That's what you get for saying that, whats-your-name. Onimusha's too good to die to that grouchy old man, he's the 14 Tailed Sabertooth Bijuu, for god's sake."

To Be Continued.

mangagirl
07-30-2009, 10:38 AM
awesome vat!! write more please!!

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-30-2009, 10:39 AM
Thanks...who your favorite character?

mangagirl
07-30-2009, 10:41 AM
Menrui Tatski

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-30-2009, 10:49 AM
Why???

mangagirl
07-30-2009, 10:50 AM
idk..lolz

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-30-2009, 10:51 AM
lol....hey, takuya.

takuya
07-30-2009, 11:14 AM
lol....hey, takuya.THE ULTIMATE NINJA,TAKUYA HAS ARRIVED*appears in a puff of smoke*hi vat

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-30-2009, 11:31 AM
Hey...how are you?

Wolfire Flamemancer
07-30-2009, 07:15 PM
THE STORY IS SO FREAKEN AWSOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D:D I CAN"T STOP READING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!:twisted::twisted::lol::lol::):):twisted::lol:: )vat you and the song in your signature rock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:cool::cool:;);):mrgreen:: cool:;):mrgreen:

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-30-2009, 07:53 PM
THE STORY IS SO FREAKEN AWSOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D:D I CAN"T STOP READING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!:twisted::twisted::lol::lol::):):twisted::lol:: )vat you and the song in your signature rock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:cool::cool:;);):mrgreen:: cool:;):mrgreen:

Can you tell me what you think about it?

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-31-2009, 09:05 AM
News: Today, due to the author's happy emotion, there will be more than one chapter out!
:mrgreen:

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-31-2009, 09:36 AM
Chapter Fourteen: Kage VS Kage


"So you're the famous Bijuu Kage of the Light Clan." The AiraKage observed. "Wrong. Ex-Kage of the Light Village." Nui muttered and charged, blade out.


Note: In case you haven't notice, there will be more than one chapter released today due to my happy emotion. :mrgreen:


Instantly, the AiraKage brought out his gigantic broadsword as Nui's katana was thrust toward him. He lifted his broadsword with one of his hands up to his neck, blocking the katana and with his other hand, started to perform handsigns. He finished and smiling, yelled, "Fire Style: Fireball Jutsu!" Nui, immediately realizing the danger jumped back and started performing handsigns as the fireball quickly flew toward him. It hit him and an explosion rocked the room, a cloud of dust covering it. Soon, the cloud vanished and there was Nui, standing unscathed, surrounded by a dome of water. "You're good." the AiraKage said and leaped, passing the whole five yards before him and Nui. With that, he swung his blade down as Nui immediately started to perform handsigns.
Water Style: Tsunami Wave!
At that moment, just as the AiraKage's broadsword was mere centimeters before Nui's katana, the water dome dispersed down and into a roaring giant wave. The tsunami wave smashed into the AiraKage heavily and he was lost in its deep waters. The tsunami hit the wall and smashed through it as splinters of wood and scrapes of moist drawings flew everywhere. Nui stood, gazing at the sight and started to perform handsigns.
The tsunami had managed to create a giant hole in the wall and into the streets, now with water splashing through it. Surprisingly, the AiraKage was still alive. He slowly stood up, seemingly sporting injuries.
As he yelled in agony and anger and charged with his broadsword, Nui stopped performing handsigns and muttered to himself, "Wind Style: Sword of Wind."
With that, the wind around his left hand began to spin around, acting like a mini-tornado. The wind stopped, forming into what seemed like a sword made out of pure air just as the AiraKage was before Nui and thrust his broadsword down at Nui's head.
Time seemed to stop as Nui lifted his arm, holding the wind sword and said, "Be gone!" as he stabbed the sword right into the AiraKage's chest and blood flashed everywhere.


T,B, Continued.

mangagirl
07-31-2009, 10:28 AM
awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-31-2009, 10:51 AM
Thanks. :mrgreen:

sasruto
07-31-2009, 01:13 PM
I catched up! Great story!

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-31-2009, 01:14 PM
What's your fav character?

sasruto
07-31-2009, 01:17 PM
What's your fav character?
........EVERYONE!!!!

From a scale of 0 to 10....

11!

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-31-2009, 01:23 PM
Oh, c'mon...who's the STRONGEST then?

sasruto
07-31-2009, 01:26 PM
Oh, c'mon...who's the STRONGEST then?
hmm...........

sasruto
07-31-2009, 01:26 PM
*thinks*

I think Nui is the strongest....my opinion

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-31-2009, 01:28 PM
*thinks*

I think Nui is the strongest....my opinion

How and why do you think that?

And do you want spoilers?

sasruto
07-31-2009, 01:34 PM
How and why do you think that?

And do you want spoilers?
I think nui is....


MY MYY.... I don't want spoilers! I just want it to continue...normally. If i see spoilers...probably i'll pick a different character

as i was saying, Nui can use 5 different types of elements...!!!:)

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-31-2009, 01:36 PM
Have you read all of the chapters?

sasruto
07-31-2009, 01:39 PM
Have you read all of the chapters?
I started reading...really quick...then i slowed down on this chapter.

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-31-2009, 01:43 PM
Which chapter?

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-31-2009, 02:12 PM
News: The Next Chapter Will Begin Soon.

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-31-2009, 04:06 PM
Chapter Fifteen: The Phoenix


Hanataro watched in awe as the AiraKage collapsed to the ground, with a bloody hole in his chest. "He.....won." Toshi smiled and nodded. "Thought so, but he overused it a little, using that Time Jutsu."
Hanataro glanced at Toshi and asked, "Time Jutsu?"


__________________________________________________ _______________


"You've lost. I will not administer the killing blow, for respect of your status, you will die either way. Also, I have told my comrades to not kill any of your men, they are injured, but alive." Nui muttered and turned around, starting to walk away.
"Wait.."
At those words, Nui stopped and turned as he saw the AiraKage on his knees, forming handsigns. Seeing the threat, Nui immediately ran, and formed a handsign as a shadow clone suddenly pops out of the air. However, it was too late. The AiraKage grinned and with that, slammed his hand into his chest and screeched, "Kekkai Genkei!"


__________________________________________________ _______________


"Time Jutsu: A sacred ninja art that was passed down from member-to-member of the Royal Onimusha Family. It is very classified and very powerful too. This is the first time I have ever saw it, but somehow, he froze time, COMPLETELY. I have a feeling he was using his bijuu's powers to do this...."
Toshi explained. Hanataro nodded and looked at Nui worryingly. Immediately, the whole area started to shake as he gasped and Toshi's expression turned to weary.
Toshi then quickly replaced that weary expression with a smile and patted Hanataro's head softly and said,
"Don't worry, Nui'll survive, whats-your-name."
Hanataro frowned and yelled, "My name is Hanataro Crane! I've told you that ten times already!"


__________________________________________________ _______________


"What is this pressure rising through the air?" Nui questioned, gazing at the AiraKage. The AiraKage did not answer. Nui frowned and pulled out a kunai. Suddenly, the AiraKage erupted into flames. He screamed as the flames spread through his body like a virus. Nui stood, shocked. Soon the flames were even too fiery for him and he jumped back as sparks of fire flew everywhere. As that happened, the flames seemed to move, manipulating into something. What seemed like fire wings appeared and a beak made out of purely fire was even visible. Soon, the fire stopped moving and Nui was gazing at what seemed like a gigantic bird made out of uncontrollable fire. Immediately, a voice boomed out of nowhere as the bird opened its beak.

"This is my Kekkai Genkei, Nui Onimusha. You should be honored to be the third who has seen it and I should caution you, the two firsts both died!"


TO BE CONTINUED

mangagirl
07-31-2009, 04:09 PM
omg!!its awesome!!! write more!!!! i need to know what will happen

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-31-2009, 04:19 PM
Thanks. :)

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-31-2009, 04:26 PM
News: The Invasion of the Bird Clan is almost over, folks! Next is.....the Meeting of the Kages Arc!

Space Cowboy Sasori
07-31-2009, 04:40 PM
Very nice chapter.

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-31-2009, 04:44 PM
How so?

Space Cowboy Sasori
07-31-2009, 04:59 PM
The Kekki Genkai was a surprising twist, I thought he was dead.

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-31-2009, 05:02 PM
The Wind Sword is kinda like Rasengan and I thought you would say that.

kakashi uzumaki
07-31-2009, 05:17 PM
wow pride u have gotten beter since when u started


and yes i finally read it

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-31-2009, 05:18 PM
Yes....if you think this is good, wait 'till you see the next arcs.

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-31-2009, 06:40 PM
Yes....the next arcs will be better.

Yori
07-31-2009, 09:32 PM
Hurry with the next chapter!! i like the kekki genki

Vatanui AKA Pride
07-31-2009, 09:33 PM
What?!
You finished that fast?!

Vatanui AKA Pride
08-01-2009, 01:14 PM
News: The author will be on hiatus today, sorry!

Vatanui AKA Pride
08-01-2009, 03:22 PM
Chapter Sixteen: Phoenix Dawn, Phoenix Die


Flying in the heated air, the AiraKage, now taking the form of a phoenix, curled his beak into what seemed like a small smile. Nui slowly unsheathed his sword and gazed grimly at his opponent. Suddenly, the phoenix opened his beak and a giant burst of fire flew out, aimed right at Nui.
Nui jumped to the right, dodging the fireball as it flew past the ground where he just stood and smashing right into the wall behind him. Nui landed on the ground gracefully and started to string together handsigns as the AiraKage snarled in delight and with a flap of his wings, flames shot from it, flying everywhere. Nui stopped using handsigns and yelled, "Water Style: Ice Shield!" With that, water formed around his free arm and instantly froze, making a shield made out of ice. As the fire waves neared him, Nui sidestepped, dodging one wave and slice another one in half. He blocked the others with his shield as the AiraKage continued flapping his wings, tens of tens fire waves instantly appearing as fire sparks shot everywhere.
Soon, the onslaught was over and Nui stood, breathing shallowly, his ice shield half charred and his leg slightly burned. With that, he then smiled and set into a stance, ready. "You're very powerful, with those fire-based attacks." The AiraKage opened it moth and his voice once again crackled through the area. "You are very formidable indeed, Nui Onimusha. Those who have witnessed this form has never survived this long, but you will eventually, like all the rest."
Nui frowned and replied, "But your attacks are uncoordinated and random. They have no true strategy to them at all."
At those words, the AiraKage's face twisted from amusement to anger as he flew at Nui, cursing him along the way.
Nui offered a small smile as the sound of someone jumping up from the ground behind the furious AiraKage could be heard. It was Nui's shadow clone, carrying a sealing scroll. With that, the shadow clone jumped on and threw the seal. It landed on the phoenix's back and with that burst into flames from the uncontrollable fire. The AiraKage stopped, immediately realizing what had happened. He turned to the shadow clone and flew at. Suddenly, he collapsed into the ground and screamed in agony as he exploded into darkness. At that point, wind whirled everywhere from the pressure as the darkness started to wrap itself into a circular object. It keep shrinking and shrinking, until the ball of pure darkness vanished completely.
"It had to be done." Nui muttered sadly and walked away.

To Be Continued

takuya
08-01-2009, 03:26 PM
wow that was cool

Vatanui AKA Pride
08-01-2009, 03:30 PM
So who do you think is the strongest character?

takuya
08-01-2009, 03:36 PM
i think Nui is the strongest

Vatanui AKA Pride
08-01-2009, 03:37 PM
How so?

takuya
08-01-2009, 03:42 PM
he has about 5 elements and he took on the airakage in his true form and it sounded like the phoenix was unbeatable

Vatanui AKA Pride
08-01-2009, 03:43 PM
Well, this is so far.
You have only seen him and a little of Toshi in battle. Vatas and Menrui haven't fought YET, but have you realized Menrui's special ability?

takuya
08-01-2009, 03:46 PM
nope i havent

Vatanui AKA Pride
08-01-2009, 03:47 PM
-_-....you haven't? Seriously?

takuya
08-01-2009, 03:48 PM
no i havent i think i might reread some stuff

Vatanui AKA Pride
08-01-2009, 03:50 PM
BTW, Do you want spoilers?

takuya
08-01-2009, 03:53 PM
why not?go ahead shoot.

Vatanui AKA Pride
08-01-2009, 03:56 PM
Alright, I'll PM you then.

Vatanui AKA Pride
08-01-2009, 04:31 PM
What the best chapter so far?

nine tailed fury
08-01-2009, 05:10 PM
i think 16. and toshi is my favorite. i see a lot of myself in her.

Vatanui AKA Pride
08-01-2009, 05:15 PM
i think 16. and toshi is my favorite. i see a lot of myself in her.

Why 16?
And that so, you like Toshi?

Taker369
08-01-2009, 05:18 PM
awspme stpry man but if vatas is the main character why didnt he fight ?

nine tailed fury
08-01-2009, 05:20 PM
awspme stpry man but if vatas is the main character why didnt he fight ?
its like fire emblem. vatas is the main character, but he doesnt show his power untill later. until then someone else fits that position.