Vatas Shadow Pridus: The Story

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Yep, ...I have a question, who is the strongest character so far?

[nine tailed fury]

Yep, ...I have a question, who is the strongest character so far?
that is a hard question to answer because we havent seen anyone else fight yet besides those 2. so i cant say.......

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

that is a hard question to answer because we havent seen anyone else fight yet besides those 2. so i cant say.......

Well, you'll see it soon enough. Do you know Menrui's special ability?

[Rogue Priestess]

Great story.

[nine tailed fury]

no. sadly i dont....... i just read all of this in 1 day........

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Great story.
Cool...who's your fav character?

no. sadly i dont....... i just read all of this in 1 day........

You haven't figured it out too, huh....man, I put in like, half a dozen hints!

[Rogue Priestess]

Cool...who's your fav character?

xD I only read chapter 16, sorry.

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

xD I only read chapter 16, sorry.

Wait, so you skipped all of those other chapters? :???: :shock:

[nine tailed fury]

Wait, so you skipped all of those other chapters? :???: :shock:
wow, you must have been confused.....

[Rogue Priestess]

Wait, so you skipped all of those other chapters? :???: :shock:

Yeah, I always do that in any story. I read the last chapter before I read anything at all. I just love to spoil things for myself. :ugeek:

[Rogue Priestess]

wow, you must have been confused.....

Not really.

[Hiro]

wow, i missed alot....

[nine tailed fury]

toshi is awsome.

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Yeah, I always do that in any story. I read the last chapter before I read anything at all. I just love to spoil things for myself. :ugeek:
That so...

toshi is awsome.
Yes, consider how a Genin like her took down a Special Jonin...

wow, i missed alot....
Yes, you did.

[nine tailed fury]

That so...


Yes, consider how a Genin like her took down a Special Jonin...


Yes, you did.
so at the tree we are in a battle that im surly going to lose(again). and here we are talking like friends?????

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

so at the tree we are in a battle that im surly going to lose(again). and here we are talking like friends?????

Eh, pretty much. Awkward..

[nine tailed fury]

wanna just stop fighting?

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

wanna just stop fighting?

Hmm, maybe in three minutes, this fight is kinda keeping the thread alive.

[nine tailed fury]

yea......

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Okay, the fight is finished and yeah, you were overdoing it with that jutsu. You could have just asked with a please.

[nine tailed fury]

yea, but i like to show off.

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

That so...

[nine tailed fury]

yep..

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Okay then.
And also, the Invasion of the Bird Clan Arc is almost over.

[nine tailed fury]

almost? i thought it would end with the kage getting killed. *tries to think about the novel but ends up thinking about some really crappy youtube video* *can you say water ju-ju-lemonade* *talks without realizing people are there* water ju-ju-lemonade.

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

-__-....well, do you think the Kage is dead?

[nine tailed fury]

*sings* water juice water juice, dont drink it all at once cause you might die cause it's pure alcohol. its water juice. watch me drink my water juice.

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

What the...?

[nine tailed fury]

*thinks about youtube* *the guy who talks twiches while talking* water juice is a m-m-magic po-potion that makes you ha-happy *talking person grabs a happy face doll and throws it into a wall, blowing up the wall*

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

-kicks you in the face-

[nine tailed fury]

*comes back to senses* WATER JUICE!!!!!! oh, i was day dreaming.........

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Finally, now answer my question.

[nine tailed fury]

um, um, um, my answer is "q"

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Alright, get on-topic now, I'm giving you a warning.

[nine tailed fury]

i really dont know the question, so i cant give you an answer, so im making up random answers.

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

i really dont know the question, so i cant give you an answer, so im making up random answers.

-__-....well, do you think the Kage is dead?

This is the question.

[nine tailed fury]

yes. their mission was to assassinate the kage of the bird clan. and im pretty sure that he would complete his mission.

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

yes. their mission was to assassinate the kage of the bird clan. and im pretty sure that he would complete his mission.

You want me to give you a spoiler about it then?

[nine tailed fury]

You want me to give you a spoiler about it then?
yep. i was hoping you would ask that.

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

yep. i was hoping you would ask that.

then PM me and I'll tell you.

[nine tailed fury]

um, could you PM me cause i am already PMing someone else right now.

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

-sighs-
Fine, alright.

[Taker369]

i hope to see Vatas fight soon awsome job by the way.

[nine tailed fury]

im going to fall apart from the wonders that are vatas shadow pridus. im a critic. and on a scale of 1 to 10 i say.......13

[Taker369]

it was really good if only it was an anime.

[nine tailed fury]

i dont care if its an anime. i LOVE IT

[Taker369]

yeah me 2 we probally wont see a new chapter for awhile school's is returning .

[nine tailed fury]

NEVER SAY THAT WORD AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *looks at taker with an evil gaze*

[Taker369]

lol it's an evil word it should count as a swear word.

[nine tailed fury]

yep..

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

im going to fall apart from the wonders that are vatas shadow pridus. im a critic. and on a scale of 1 to 10 i say.......13

i hope to see Vatas fight soon awsome job by the way.

He's gonna fight.

[nine tailed fury]

awsome. i cant wait for today's vatas shadow pridus.

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

awsome. i cant wait for today's vatas shadow pridus.

This Arc is gonna end sometime close to Chapter 20. :|

[nine tailed fury]

*gets on knees and yells into the sky* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

What are you sad about?
I promise you, the second and third arc are gonna be more exciting.

[nine tailed fury]

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Yep, and I can promise you, there will be a lot of new faces.

[nine tailed fury]

MAKE THE NEW EPISODE ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *faints*

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Chapter Seventeen: Mission Succeeded, Sort Of


Nui sheathed his blade and calmly strolled over to the awed Hanataro and the smiling Toshi, who said, "Overdid it a bit, didn't you? With that Yata Orb." Nui remained silent while Hanataro immediately questioned her. "Yata Orb?"


__________________________________________________ _______________


"Nui finished his fight, Vatas." Menrui muttered as he and Vatas stood before half a dozen armed guards. Vatas nodded and unsheathed his sword. With that, he waved his long blade in a clean swipe and suddenly, all six guards collapsed, all with deep gashes on them as their blood poured from their newly inflicted wounds and pured down to the streets. "I know, let's go." Vatas replied and broke into a dash. "Hey, Nui told us to not kill anyone! And wait for me!" Menrui yelled at Vatas and ran after him.


Note: We Interrupt this Story with a Brief Discussion Involving the Main Characters and the Author Himself!

The Author: "Welcome to the Brief Discussion Place, Where Our Characters Share Their Thoughts on the Story!"

Vatas: "Why the hell haven't I fought in any of these chapters?!"

Menrui: "Ditto!"

Nui: "................."

Toshi: "Oh shut up, it's because you guys clearly aren't important enough to have any involvement in this arc!"

Vatas & Menrui: -looks at Toshi angrily and slowly grasp their swords' handles-

The Author: "It's because, um, eh, oh look, this discussion time limit has exceeded! Now, back to the story!"

Vatas: "Now just wait a damn min--"


Toshi glanced at Hanataro and explained, "The Yata Orb is a special sealing object that only the Head of the Onimusha Family may posses. It is similar to the infamous Yata Shield."
Nui slowly nodded as Hanataro slowly absorbed Toshi's explanation into his mind. Suddenly, a shout came from the outside as, suddenly, dozens of figures swarmed from the outside, all holding weapons of the trade. They flashed angry at Nui and the group as they realized their Kage was missing. "What have you monsters done to our Kage?!" one ninja yelled, clutching his sword tightly.
Nui and Toshi grasped their sword in alarm as the large mob of ninjas charged right out at them. Suddenly, something whipped down from the roof of the building as it flashed in the sunlight and twirled around the hand of one of the ninjas leading the rampaging mob. The ninja gasped in surprise as it wrapped around his arm and with a pull, he was sent flying. Everyone immediately turned their eyes to the source and saw two figures, standing on the rooftop before the sun, their shadows reflecting in the light.
"What's up, Nui?" Vatas asked, smiling.

TO
BE CONTINUED.

[nine tailed fury]

I loved it

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

I loved it

I wanted to add a little comedy to it. :|

[nine tailed fury]

lol character disscution

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

lol character disscution

Yes, if it continued, we would have seen "Toshi VS Vatas and Menrui".

[Taker369]

the more comedy the better awsome job ecspeically with school coming back soon.

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

the more comedy the better awsome job ecspeically with school coming back soon.

Yep, we'll be having more of these "Character Discussions" more in the future.

[Taker369]

lol i know were u got that from.

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

lol i know were u got that from.

Where? :p

[Taker369]

Bleach when the show preview of the next episode they argue and chat.

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Bleach when the show preview of the next episode they argue and chat.

Yep..:cool:

[nine tailed fury]

wow. i need to start watching bleach.

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

wow. i need to start watching bleach.

Yeah, you really do.

[Heero75]

there u happy i commented it was very good

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

there u happy i commented it was very good

Yep, I'm happy.
You get a gold sticker! :eek:

[Taker369]

everyone should watch bleach who loves the story.

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

everyone should watch bleach who loves the story.

Just skip the Bount Arc. :eek:

[nine tailed fury]

critic time. fury critic rate for this chapter any points out of 10. remember i am firm but fair. this chapter ranks:10 the commentary from the characters was funny and it was a good chapter overall that left a cliffhangerthis has been fury critic, channel 66.

[Taker369]

make sure theres no filler in your stories.

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

critic time. fury critic rate for this chapter any points out of 10. remember i am firm but fair. this chapter ranks:10 the commentary from the characters was funny and it was a good chapter overall that left a cliffhangerthis has been fury critic, channel 66.

Correction: Fury Critic has been moved to Channel 65, not 66. :| And also, Toshi had proven herself once again with a smart-aleck remark, that is all.

[nine tailed fury]

do you mind if i do the fury critic thing on each chapter?

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

do you mind if i do the fury critic thing on each chapter?

Nah, I'll actually be glad if you did it.

[nine tailed fury]

ok, thanks

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Alright, don't forget to do it though.

[nine tailed fury]

Alright, don't forget to do it though.
i wont, unless i cant because of some reason, in that case i will do it when i get back on.

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Okay then. ^^
BTW, what's your favorite chapter so far?

[nine tailed fury]

the 1 where toshi took down that big guy.

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

You only saw about 1/3 of the fight.

[nine tailed fury]

still, it was cool while it lasted.

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Yeah....I wonder if you figured out her special ability yet though.

[nine tailed fury]

nope, but im going to find out, because she is my favorite character after all.

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

You'll figure it out sometime in the third arc or late in the second arc.

[nine tailed fury]

so, what of the boy hanataro. is he going to be in the series or is he just there for a purpose, and then never to be seen again.

[nine tailed fury]

by "in the series" i mean will he stay.

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

so, what of the boy hanataro. is he going to be in the series or is he just there for a purpose, and then never to be seen again.

by "in the series" i mean will he stay.

Nah, this isn't one of those "characters-appear-for-one-time-and-disappear" series, I promise you, you'll see Hanataro, Kama, and maybe, just maybe, the Cager once again, soon.

[nine tailed fury]

oh, ok

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Yep, you'll figure about Kama's and the Cager's fates somewhere in the next two chapters.

[nine tailed fury]

cool. so, do you have an entire ark planned out, or do you just make it up as you go along?

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

I actually already have all the next ten arcs planned out and the next arcs will be a LOT longer.

[nine tailed fury]

wha!!!!! TEN ARKS!!!!!!! wow, you really got going.

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

You want me to PM you about it?

[nine tailed fury]

nah, i want to know just like everyone else.

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Alright then.
The next arc will at least take about 25 chapters.

[nine tailed fury]

wow. ok, reporter time. *takes out reporter hat and spins it onto head* vat, you have many adoring fans who love this story so far, have you ever thought of making it into a book and publishing it?

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Yes, I have, but I can't for copyright issues.
But I've already wrote another series.

[nine tailed fury]

again, you have many adoring fans. do you think this popularity might go to your head?

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

No, not really, I'm up for criticizing.

[nine tailed fury]

so, what gave you the idea to make this story?

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Hmm, I could tell you, but it would spoil the WHOLE story. I plan on revealing this once the story is finished.

[nine tailed fury]

ok, then. moving on. my final question is. picture it, you just won the superbowl, what are you going to do now?

[Hiro]

^O^ im finally caught up! i liked that discussion thing, it was funny ^_^! so far the story is excellent, on the overall story and plot, i give it a 9.5 out of 10! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

[Hiro]

ok, then. moving on. my final question is. picture it, you just won the superbowl, what are you going to do now?
what does that have to do with the story?

[nine tailed fury]

im a reporter. ive gone from the story to vat, so i has nothing to do with it.

[Hiro]

im a reporter. ive gone from the story to vat, so i has nothing to do with it.
ok, cool ^_^

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

ok, then. moving on. my final question is. picture it, you just won the superbowl, what are you going to do now?
IDK, Go to Japan!

^O^ im finally caught up! i liked that discussion thing, it was funny ^_^! so far the story is excellent, on the overall story and plot, i give it a 9.5 out of 10! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

What's your fav chapter and character so far?

[nine tailed fury]

there you have it folk's a report on vatanui aka pride. tune in tomorrow for more vatas shadow pridus and more fury critic. this is nine tailed fury channel 65 news, signing off. *camera turns off*

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

there you have it folk's a report on vatanui aka pride. tune in tomorrow for more vatas shadow pridus and more fury critic. this is nine tailed fury channel 65 news, signing off. *camera turns off*

Peace! :)

[nine tailed fury]

ok, that was a great report. it was alot of fun too. i was going to eventually ask you a bunch of random questions, but i thought "nah, forget it" so i just used the superbowl thing as an ending.

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

ok, that was a great report. it was alot of fun too. i was going to eventually ask you a bunch of random questions, but i thought "nah, forget it" so i just used the superbowl thing as an ending.

Lol, that so..

[nine tailed fury]

ok im going to crash here for the night, the cherry tree got WAY too chaotic. lol, i love scaring humans. it's just so much fun, then eventually i stop scaring them by saying something random to let them know i was joking. *laughs* oh, its just so much fun.

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

ok im going to crash here for the night, the cherry tree got WAY too chaotic. lol, i love scaring humans. it's just so much fun, then eventually i stop scaring them by saying something random to let them know i was joking. *laughs* oh, its just so much fun.

Lol, that so.....BTW, who do you think is the most badas$ character so far?

[nine tailed fury]

so far, i have to say nui, but thats because i havent seen the other 2 fight yet. and i hate to say it, but toshi aint a bad as$

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Thought so, and I have to go, bye!

[nine tailed fury]

bye..

[Hiro]

IDK, Go to Japan!



What's your fav chapter and character so far?
chapter: ?IDK.... Character: Nui
Lol, that so.....BTW, who do you think is the most badas$ character so far?
Vatas, hes the one that killed people even though nui told him not to, plus he seems to cuss a bit ^_^

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

chapter: ?IDK.... Character: Nui

Vatas, hes the one that killed people even though nui told him not to, plus he seems to cuss a bit ^_^

Whoever said he even killed them? :cool:

[Hiro]

Whoever said he even killed them? :cool:
oh, *shrug* i just assumed that they died....:lol:

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

oh, *shrug* i just assumed that they died....:lol:

That so...:cool:....you'll see another hint of his power in the next chapter.

[Wolfire Flamemancer]

sorry van i wasn't able to get on for a wile but to answer your question of what i thought of the story it's so awesome words can't describe it!!!!!!! :D:D

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Tell me your fav chapter and character!

[The Demon Zabuza]

Vat, I just read all the chapters and love it! However, after all that reading, I think that I should write what I really thought of it...

None of your battles yet have been very climatic. The closest was the fight with Kama, but I felt that the constant 'he's dead!' 'Oh wait, he's alive!' 'No, he's dead again!' plot of the fights got boring after the first two.

I also feel that I don't know what the characters look like and can't see them at all. So far, they are all wearing masks, even after killing a Kage. I want to be able to visualize them, but right now I just can't. I know that this is the first arc, but we need to be more involved with the characters. In Naruto, we know in the first chapter that Naruto was always alone and abandoned and bonded with him.

Nui also seems a little like Ryaque, in that he has nine lives. He has three elements which he reveals at different times, two styles, one of which, time, seems un-beatable and The Sealing Ball of Yata, a special object that was perfect for the Arikage. Plot No Jutsu is not a good thing.

Having said that, it was a very good story, but the suspense could have been built up. If you are going to introduce a romance element, I suggest you do it soon, as it needs to be introduced early to get people interested in the relationship.

And I will take a guess at Menrui's power being light, seeing as a wall fell down with a blast of light, and behind it was Vatus and Menrui.

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Vat, I just read all the chapters and love it! However, after all that reading, I think that I should write what I really thought of it...

None of your battles yet have been very climatic. The closest was the fight with Kama, but I felt that the constant 'he's dead!' 'Oh wait, he's alive!' 'No, he's dead again!' plot of the fights got boring after the first two.

I also feel that I don't know what the characters look like and can't see them at all. So far, they are all wearing masks, even after killing a Kage. I want to be able to visualize them, but right now I just can't. I know that this is the first arc, but we need to be more involved with the characters. In Naruto, we know in the first chapter that Naruto was always alone and abandoned and bonded with him.

Nui also seems a little like Ryaque, in that he has nine lives. He has three elements which he reveals at different times, two styles, one of which, time, seems un-beatable and The Sealing Ball of Yata, a special object that was perfect for the Arikage. Plot No Jutsu is not a good thing.

Having said that, it was a very good story, but the suspense could have been built up. If you are going to introduce a romance element, I suggest you do it soon, as it needs to be introduced early to get people interested in the relationship.

And I will take a guess at Menrui's power being light, seeing as a wall fell down with a blast of light, and behind it was Vatus and Menrui.



Hmmm, I know, but there's no romance interest yet, but several new characters will be introduced in the next arc, the Meeting of the Kages. Also, this is similar to an Anbu Black Ops Mission, so basically, the key was to remain hidden and unidentified, but unfortunately, the fights took up most of the time, leading up to dawn. You are close to Menrui's special ability, it IS related to the light and sun, but not light itself. And in the second arc, we will revolve more around the characters and there will be several characters that we meet that will reveal our characters' no-so-pleasant pasts.

[nine tailed fury]

HURRY AND MAKE THE NEXT CHAPTER. IM SO EXCITED I THINK IM GONNA EXPLODE!!!!! *explodes*

[Obito]

CHAPTER! ME NEEDS CHAPTER! -starts to die-

[nine tailed fury]

Give me chapter!!!!!!!!!

[mangagirl]

hmm chapter!!

[The Demon Zabuza]

It's only been a day.

CALM DOWN!

[mangagirl]

i cant!!!!lolz

[nine tailed fury]

GIVE ME MY NEW CHAPTER!!!!!!!!! I MUST HAVE IT. *faints*

[mangagirl]

hmm wheres vat???

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Hmmmm......my Internet crashes and I come back to see demandment........

[nine tailed fury]

I DEMAND IT!!!!!!!! *if it was a manga, my eyes would be burning in passion* this series touches my very soul, and i cannot live without it.

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

-_-...that's putting it a little bit big but I'm flattered...also, I might consider going on hiatus today due to things.

[nine tailed fury]

hiatus?

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Hiatus means Break.

[nine tailed fury]

Hiatus means Break.
YOU MUST NOT HAVE A BREAK. YOU GET THOSE ON SUNDAY'S!!!!!!!!! *shakes vat* whether or not you have a vatas shadow pridus, im having fury critic.

[Hiro]

-_-...that's putting it a little bit big but I'm flattered...also, I might consider going on hiatus today due to things.
-_-'' a little bit big?! WTH?! thats like the very meaning of over exageration ^_^
what happened vat? i mean, why are you gonna go on break?

[nine tailed fury]

no brake, no bake, no cake, to steak, no lake, no fake, no sake, no BRAKE!!!!!!!

[The Demon Zabuza]

It's spelt break.

[mangagirl]

I DEMAND IT!!!!!!!! *if it was a manga, my eyes would be burning in passion* this series touches my very soul, and i cannot live without it.
hmm me?? lolz jk

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

YOU MUST NOT HAVE A BREAK. YOU GET THOSE ON SUNDAY'S!!!!!!!!! *shakes vat* whether or not you have a vatas shadow pridus, im having fury critic.

Ugh....you'll guys have to beat me up to make me write it.

[nine tailed fury]

Ugh....you'll guys have to beat me up to make me write it.
i wish i could say "that could be arranged" but if i fought you, i would be turned into a pancake. or WORSE. a pancake without syrup.

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

No, you wouldn't be turned into the pancake, you'd be turned to Fat-Free Syrup. :twisted:

[nine tailed fury]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, FAT FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (lol)

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Alright, alright, I was joking.
Anyways, I'll write it, but not now, maybe in half an hour.

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Chapter Eighteen: The Woman


The whole mob of angered ninjas were now frightened, seeing the sudden arrival of their two new enemies. Nui offered a small smile while Toshi glanced up with her trademark scowl and yelled, "What took you so damn long, Vatas?!" Vatas shrugged and replied, "I was...occupied."
Toshi sighed and then looked up to Menrui and shouted, "What's your freaking excuse, lazy bum?! We wouldn't even be in this if you haven't slept one-thirds of all this!" Menrui just shrugged and then lay down on the roof, his face facing the blinding sun. Just as Toshi was about to comment again, something whistled through the air, directed at her. Toshi easily detected the sound and ducked to the ground as a kunai punctured the air where she just stood. Immediately acting, she pulled out half a dozen kunais from her tools pouch placed on her left shoulder and threw it at the advancing group as Nui pulled out his sword and yelled, "Light Style: Blade Arc!"
With that, he swung a giant arc at the air and suddenly, a wave of pure light burst out, heading toward the mob. The group of ninjas glanced in fear as the two attacks speed toward them. However, some ninjas were not bothered by the approaching attacks, immediately performing handsigns while others brave shinobi threw kunais attached with burning paper bombs at Menrui and Vatas.
The kunai bombs bombs connected to them as the wave of light and kunais from Toshi reached and both sides were struck, releasing a giant explosion of dust. Eventually, the dust cleared: a large wall of earth protected the mob of shinobi. Vatas had somehow disappeared from the rooftop and only Menrui remained there, the sound of his snoring echoing.
Shockingly, he was unscathed: there wasn't even as much as a scratch on him.
Suddenly, the silence was ended as a scream of terror came out from deep within the group of shinobi as a long chain of silver, complete with a long scythe-like blade on the end flashed out, a dark aura around it, setting off an uncomfortable feeling, in the midst of the enemy's group.

"Darkness Release: Black Combo." Vatas said.


__________________________________________________ _______________


Inside a large building located on the outside skirts of the Bird Clan, Kama lay on the clean floor, unconscious. The room he was in was clean and simple, with white walls and the basic Japanese home items. After a few minutes of quiet peace, Kama slowly opened his eyes with a yell. Thinking by instinct, he turned to his left side to grab for his scythe, but then screeched in pain and collapsed back into the slick ground once again.

"Easy, easy, you'll reopen your wounds again if you move."

Kama immediately flashed his eyes opened as he moved his head to the source of the sound. The voice that he had just heard was feminine, with a rough accent. After searching for a couple of minutes, he had finally located the source. Only a figure could be made out, skinny. Long hair ran down to her shoulders and a large scroll rested on her lap. "Who are you?" Kama asked, his hand feeling the ground to reach to his scythe.
"I've come to recruit you, Kama Ikkaku." the woman said again, her lips twisting into a small smile. Kama widened his eyes, realizing what this had meant. "You don't mean.....you're part of..."
The woman grinned and slowly stood up.
"I see you have heard of us then. And that you also realize that resisting will be hopeless. We of the Order of the Illuminus Alliance have been sent to retrieve you, by force if necessarily."


To Be Continued...

[The Demon Zabuza]

Why am I having Hidan flashbacks?

And it seems like every one of those shinobi are now dead!

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Why am I having Hidan flashbacks?

And it seems like every one of those shinobi are now dead!

Which shinobi and you should have knew Kama would still be alive, the Cager, maybe...

[The Demon Zabuza]

The ones in the massive group.

Where did that scythe come from!?

AAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Hmm, it's not that hard actually, you should have figured it out by now, I've already set out a lot of clues and actually, I would consider that "scythe" a sickle.

[nine tailed fury]

i think i figured menrui's power!!!!!!!

[Hiro]

i like it ^_^

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

i think i figured menrui's power!!!!!!!

What is it then? :p

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

i like it ^_^

What do you think was the highlight of this?

[Hiro]

What do you think was the highlight of this?
the whole story or the chapter?

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

the whole story or the chapter?

Just this chapter.

[nine tailed fury]

its time for everyones favorite after show. "fury critic" ok, out of 10, i give this episode a. *dramatic and suspenseful music plays in the backround* an 8 out of 10. there was a funny part where menrui fell asleep during the battle, and made it out without a scrach. also, a mysterious(to us, but not to vat) orginisation has made itself known to the story. will this team be like the akatsuki? will more people realize what menrui's power is? will my decaf moka late EVER get here? i dont know. SO STOP ASKING!!!!!!this is fury critic, channel 65 (yes, we changed our channel to 65) signing off.

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

its time for everyones favorite after show. "fury critic" ok, out of 10, i give this episode a. *dramatic and suspenseful music plays in the backround* an 8 out of 10. there was a funny part where menrui fell asleep during the battle, and made it out without a scrach. also, a mysterious(to us, but not to vat) orginisation has made itself known to the story. will this team be like the akatsuki? will more people realize what menrui's power is? will my decaf moka late EVER get here? i dont know. SO STOP ASKING!!!!!!this is fury critic, channel 65 (yes, we changed our channel to 65) signing off.

Um, you decaf mocha was sitting on your table for the last two hours.....and also, PM me about your theory on Menrui's special ability.

[nine tailed fury]

Um, you decaf mocha was sitting on your table for the last two hours.....and also, PM me about your theory on Menrui's special ability.
say what.......*looks on table* OK, WHO THE **** FORGOT TO ****ING TELL ME WHEN MY LATE WAS SUPPOSED TO GET HERE!!!!!!!! *realizes the camera's never turned off*........WHO IS THE ***** WHO FORGOT TO TURN OFF THE ****ING CAMERA. *camera turns off*

[Hiro]

Just this chapter.
the part where kama is recruited...

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

the part where kama is recruited...

Yes, but by who?
Just who exactly?
PM me for Spoilers. :twisted:

[nine tailed fury]

you guys saw NOTHING from that report........

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

..........?
Also, to give you a hint, the Order of the Illuminus Alliance isn't like Akatsuki.

[nine tailed fury]

..........?
Also, to give you a hint, the Order of the Illuminus Alliance isn't like Akatsuki.
i was just making a bunch of questions........and you realize that you just revealed the name right?

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

They said the name.
-points to it-

[nine tailed fury]

oh, CRAP i should have put that on fury critic.........

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Lol, you're telling me, you didn't notice one of the most important sentences of the whole chapter?

[nine tailed fury]

Lol, you're telling me, you didn't notice one of the most important sentences of the whole chapter?
thats exactly what im saying. *sub sandwich laughs* MY SUB SANDWICH IS BACK BY THE WAY!!!!!!!!!

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Lol....but I can tell you one thing though....the second and third arc will center around that new mysterious organization.

[nine tailed fury]

Lol....but I can tell you one thing though....the second and third arc will center around that new mysterious organization.
*sub sandwiches eyes grow wide* my sub sandwich is going to get ALOT more attention now.

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Lol..how are you, sub sandwich?

[nine tailed fury]

Lol..how are you, sub sandwich?
*sub sandwich hi-5's vat*

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

-___-.....-returns high five-

[nine tailed fury]

-___-.....-returns high five-
lol, that face..........*bursts out laughing* *sub sandwich rams head into wall from laughter* yep, he is definitely MY sub sandwich *continues laughing*

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

-____________-
This is a little off-topic..

[Hiro]

-___-.....-returns high five-
lolz....

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

lolz....

I know, it's strange...

[Obito]

Pride, I want another chapter, when is going to be the next CHAPTER?!

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

This afternoon, I guess.

[Obito]

But me wants it now :( Why not now? :(

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Because me too tired...tell me your favorite character.

[Obito]

Obito of course :mrgreen:

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Your character in my story...

[Obito]

Wait, you're gonna make my character in a Story?

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

No, I mean your favorite character in my story.

[Obito]

Where?! I never saw him!

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

-____-, never mind...

[The Demon Zabuza]

Haha, up rep for sheer amuzement :D

He meant that out of the story so far, which person have you liked the most.

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Haha, up rep for sheer amuzement :D

He meant that out of the story so far, which person have you liked the most.

Yes!
And I was wondering when you'd reveal yourself.

[Obito]

Oh :| I'm kinda STUPID right now since I just woke up.

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Oh :| I'm kinda STUPID right now since I just woke up.

Lol, just concentrate, it might knock you out for the next couple of hours, but it'd be worth it.

[Obito]

Are you saying I'm annoying? :(

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

No.
And you know, manga has been looking for you.

[Obito]

I spoke with her yesterday, all she was saying was "Where's Pride?" and "I'm Bored" I'm like Pride was just on like 2 hours ago and instead of saying "I'm Bored" alot you'd say "I'm Confused" also, she was blushing when I mensioned you were around, I CAUGHT HER :mrgreen:

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

I spoke with her yesterday, all she was saying was "Where's Pride?" and "I'm Bored" I'm like Pride was just on like 2 hours ago and instead of saying "I'm Bored" alot you'd say "I'm Confused" also, she was blushing when I mensioned you were around, I CAUGHT HER :mrgreen:

Lol, that so....I think that was when my internet crashed..

[Obito]

Pride, I kepted saying you were around than said, oh my, look at your face, it's as red as a beach red ball, she got mad :|

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

She does get mad when that happens.

[Obito]

Cause she knows that I know that she's blushing :mrgreen:

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Yep, she gets embarrassed.

[shaddix301]

i just read each chapter and i love itt! great plot and i love the way that everything tied in!

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Thanks, what is your fav character?

[shaddix301]

nui! hes awesome and i cant wait till the next chapter!

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

I'm writing it right now.

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Chapter Nineteen: A New Threat on the Horizon


The group of ninjas screamed as the scythe-like blade twirled around them, flashing endlessly as it hacked and slashed their shoulders. The blade struck the earth wall and slashed through it as a huge chunk of the earth wall fell off. Nui and Toshi jumped, landing on the rooftop as the piece of earth landed on the ground where they had just stood and smashed into small bits from the impact as well as drawing a suffocating cloud of dust. They then slowly set into a stance and unsheathed their blades, prepared for the worst.
After a couple of minutes, the cloud died down, and Vatas stood in the center of the area, with all seventy-two enemy shinobi on the ground, all unconscious and with two deep bloody gashes on their shoulders. In Vatas's left hand was a long black blade. It had an unusual guard and a black slick handle, connected by a silver chain at its end that led to what seemed like a black sickle, engraved with a red dragon. Toshi remained silent while Nui slowly placed his sword into its scabbard and said, "Did you kill any of them?" Vatas shook his head and muttered, "No."
And with that, Nui smiled.


__________________________________________________ _______________


Kama walked across the hall, now wearing his normal clothes. His scythe was hung on his back, repaired from the battle with Nui as well. The Cager walked next to him, cursing to himself. It seems the mysterious woman that had been sent to recruit him had also rescued the Cager and had too treated his wounds.
When Kama had first seen the Cager, he was mildly surprised and was somewhat convinced that the person he was looking at was a mummy version of the Cager. It had took several minutes of convincing from the woman to calm him. When the Cager had first woken up, he too was shocked to see that he was alive and that Kama was here too. He was given a spare set of clothes, to Kama's amusement and his misery. Now wearing a pair of "Hello Kitty" robes, he was ashamed and well likely receive insulting comments from Kama for the years to come.
After a few minutes of walking, they stopped. The woman who had recruited them was standing before them. Now in the dim light, she could be seen more clearly. Long blue hair sat on her shoulders, her dark blue eyes matching in unison with it: her body was gorgeous, in perfect proportions. A large scroll was strapped on her back.
"So? Are you ready?" she asked. After a moment of hesitation, Kama and the Cager finally nodded.
With that, the blue-haired woman's lips curled into a smile as she said, "Good then. Well then, I guess I should introduce myself to your dears, I am Sakura Helga, nice to meet you. Come with me, it is time to discuss about your mission."


tO bE cOnTiNuEd.

[shaddix301]

Wow.... AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!! MORE!!!!!!!!

[mangagirl]

wow awesome!!

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Thanks..

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

What was the best part about Chapter 19?

[Obito]

The last part, I loved it, MORE!

[shaddix301]

wen toshi was like - did u kill any - and vatas was like - no... - fricken sweet brah

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

The last part, I loved it, MORE!
I added the Hello Kitty part as humor. ;)

wen toshi was like - did u kill any - and vatas was like - no... - fricken sweet brah

Nui said that.

[Obito]

Nui did say that :| Is Nui a Girl or a Boy?

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Nui did say that :| Is Nui a Girl or a Boy?

-__________________________________________________ ________-

It said "he" and also, his character profile says he's a male.

[Obito]

Nui sounds like a Girl name though :|

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Nui sounds like a Girl name though :|

Yeah.
It will be explained later in the story.

[Obito]

Pride, we need to talk :| About you and Manga.

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Alright, PM me, Obito.

[Obito]

No.... Here, Manga's coming here :|

[mangagirl]

no obito i cant...

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Alright, what is it?

[Obito]

-PUTS HER DOWN- Yes you can, and you know when I have something on my mind, I stick to it.

[mangagirl]

*runs away* noo

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

Alright.
-sits on the chair, watching-

[Obito]

Talk :mrgreen: -sipping Milkshake-

[mangagirl]

i wont.. obito...

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

-sips Coke while waiting-

[Obito]

THAT'S IT -slams milkshake on the floor and grabs MANGA AND RUNS WITH HER TOWARDS PRIDE AND SETS HER DOWN ON PRIDE'S LAP FACING HIM THAN TAPS AROUND THE CHAIR PREVENTING THEM FROM MOVING- You guys arn't going anywhere so TALK!!!! :mrgreen:

[mangagirl]

no.....i wont say a word...

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

THAT'S IT -slams milkshake on the floor and grabs MANGA AND RUNS WITH HER TOWARDS PRIDE AND SETS HER DOWN ON PRIDE'S LAP FACING HIM THAN TAPS AROUND THE CHAIR PREVENTING THEM FROM MOVING- You guys arn't going anywhere so TALK!!!! :mrgreen:

That's taking it a bit aggressively...:oops:

[Obito]

-turns Manga's head towards Pride- TALK! :twisted:

[Obito]

That's taking it a bit aggressively...:oops:
Someone's Blushing :mrgreen: Manga is too :mrgreen:

[mangagirl]

hey!!!!:roll:

[Obito]

-sits down and gets a tan while drinming Milkshake- You're not going anywhere until you guys make up.

[mangagirl]

?????????????????????????????what!!!!!!!

[mangagirl]

i wont say anything... u can talk if u want.... but i wont

[Obito]

-laying down getting a Tan- Talk or I'll start putting cocoroaches on you.

[Obito]

They Crawl like wilder beast :mrgreen: :twisted:

[Vatanui AKA Pride]

So....um, I think we should take this to PM

[mangagirl]

ya obito talk to him cuz i wont

[Obito]

I think we should not -drinking milkshakes while with the other hand grabbing a bucket of cocoroaches-

[mangagirl]

thats what u think...

[Skrall]

Are you having a discussion?