Devastation

[EmoSakura]

Lilies white,
Turns bloody red by night.
Smell of death forms,
Let it settle its rite.

Violent rage turns to storm,
Blinding my limited happiness.
With debris,
No bigger than my emptiness.

I wish this conflict,
Would disappear right before my eyes.
But instead, it only increases,
Death of my joy, my true demise.

Crying despair from my nightmares,
As my dreams fly towards Hell.
You can find my hopeless sanity,
In the dried up caring well.

Paint my hope black,
Even though, it's already dark.
Locked devious evil,
That's my depressing, poor heart.

I miss the cool rain,
I miss the calm, blue skies.
I wish the days of tears,
Was nothing more than lies.


This one sucked really bad. >.< But I hope you enjoy it still.

[Ino's Girl]

It has lots of emotion o.o

[deadtaka]

That was so beautiful. I have a little tear in my eye `~(

[Narutodude234]

Nice Sad Story

[Shikamaru Nara]

It's a strong, emotional poem. I like it. :)

[The Second Pornkage]

It's always good to see people these days who haven't lost the skill of charging their work with emotion. These days around here it seems like everyone wants to talk about things without feeling it. It happened to me somewhere along the way, but I'm getting it back. Somehow

[Tifa Legacy]

this is so..............-*speechless-*

[Pool]

Lilies white,
Turns bloody red by night.
Smell of death forms,
Let it settle and rise.

Night doesn't rhyme with rise. :3

[EmoSakura]

Yea it does. D= It has the long I sound. IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
/rage quits

[Pool]

/promoted

[Noctis Arashi]

You could switch and and and rise for its and rite.

[EmoSakura]

You could switch and and and rise for its and rite.
And how would that make sense? =/
Turning bloody red by its
Let it settle and rite.

No.

Thanx for criticizing my use of rhyming. o.O

[Noctis Arashi]

And how would that make sense? =/
Turning bloody red by its
No.

Thanx for criticizing my use of rhyming. o.O

I was talking to pool. o.o

[Noctis Arashi]

Lilies white,
Turns bloody red by night.
Smell of death forms,
Let it settle its rite.

[EmoSakura]

Lilies white,
Turns bloody red by night.
Smell of death forms,
Let it settle its rite.
But that still woouldn't make much sense to the message and description you covered. o.O
It doesn't have to be perfect, the long I sound is in there so I think it's fine. b:D

[Noctis Arashi]

But that still woouldn't make much sense to the message and description you covered. o.O
It doesn't have to be perfect, the long I sound is in there so I think it's fine. b:D
How does it not make sense?

EXPAND YOUR VOCABULARY.

[EmoSakura]

How does it not make sense?

EXPAND YOUR VOCABULARY.
Descriptive compliments or actions.

Rise is an action

Rite is a noun.

xD Or at least I think it is.

And it wouldn't make sense.
The smell of death forms,
Let it settle its rite.

What rite does it mean exactly? xD

[Noctis Arashi]

formal or ceremonial act or procedure prescribed or customary in religious or other solemn use: rites of baptism; sacrificial rites.

It's going to settle such.

Make's perfect sense.

[EmoSakura]

formal or ceremonial act or procedure prescribed or customary in religious or other solemn use: rites of baptism; sacrificial rites.

It's going to settle such.

Make's perfect sense.
bo.o" Not to the message its giving considering it's not an act of religious-ness. e.e But hey, I'm not smart like you, so how would I know? You be right. But I like the way it's put. Thanx you for your enlightening knowledge though. b:D

[Noctis Arashi]

-stern fayce-

[EmoSakura]

*Jolly fayce and leaves it at that*
=D
Did you like it at least? o.O

[EmoSakura]

I guess I just felt like bumping this. e.e Sorry. >.<

[megabbaut]

I like how when i make a poem it attracts so little attention but when others make one it gets really popular.

[sagemaster777]

That was a beautiful poem brooke.
I like how when i make a poem it attracts so little attention but when others make one it gets really popular.
LOLUJELLY?

[EmoSakura]

I like how when i make a poem it attracts so little attention but when others make one it gets really popular.
I want to see your poems! =o I bet they're amazing!!!


Thanx Sage. ^^

[megabbaut]

Here are my poems:

http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showthread.php?t=105145

http://naruto.viz.com/forum/showthread.php?t=105671

[Breeze]

I'm speechless, Theres so much emotion in this. ammazzing!

[EmoSakura]

Thanx.

Mitch......that sounded wrong....x.x

[Draco Uchiha]

its......interesting to say the least. lots of emotion.